by Joey Bush
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said. What the hell was she talking about? “Things have been going pretty well, as far as I’m concerned.”
“That’s the problem. You are the problem. Don’t you have enough money of your own as it is? I’m sure Alex left plenty for you, too.”
I frowned, trying to process what she was suggesting. Well, I knew exactly what she was suggesting, but it seemed ridiculous she’d think that. “You’re saying I’m just here with Isla because I want her money?” I said. I couldn’t help but laugh. Did she really believe that? Or was she just trying to think of anything she could to give me a hard time? “I can assure you, Sharon, that I do have plenty of money of my own and that has absolutely nothing to do with why I’m here now.”
“Then what is it then? Because you certainly couldn’t have been bothered to give her the time of day when you two were younger. Your father might have been oblivious to it, but I overheard plenty of the things you used to say about her when your friends were around.”
I nodded. “I’m not saying I wasn’t an asshole. I was.”
“And have you talked about that with her? Apologized?”
“Well . . . no, not really. It hasn’t come up. Would it make you feel better if I apologized, Sharon? What can I say—I was younger then, I was being a jerk. I guess you’ve never made a mistake in your life before.”
“Oh, I’ve made plenty,” she said. “But they didn’t involve putting someone down for other people’s amusement.”
“Listen, Sharon. I don’t want to be on bad terms with you. And I promise you that I’ve been nothing but kind to Isla, and that I’m not the same person I was when I was a teenager. I mean, come on. I was a teenager. What teenager doesn’t do or say some stupid shit at some point during their lives?”
I could tell she wasn’t going to relent on this, though; she wasn’t going to accept anything I had to say, unless it was to declare that she was right and I’d leave immediately and never get in touch with Isla again.
“Do you want me to have her call you when she gets back?” I asked.
“You’re not kicking me out of my own daughter’s house,” Sharon snapped. “Who do you think you are? Do you live here now or something? Because let me tell you—”
“What is going on?”
Sharon and I both turned. I hadn’t even heard Isla come in, but there she was, her eyes going from me to her mother.
“Mom,” she said. “I didn’t know that you were coming by.” She looked at me. “I forgot my phone, so I came back to get it. Good thing I did, too, I guess. What is going on?”
Sharon pointed to the bags. “Don’t worry; I’m not going to stay long. I’m bringing these back to you. Like I told Levi—I appreciate the gesture but I don’t need all these gifts. Return them or give them to someone who does.”
“Yeah, sure, okay, Mom,” Isla said. “But that doesn’t really answer my question: What are you two fighting about? And don’t for a second try to tell me that you weren’t because I can feel the tension in here.”
“I just find it a bit odd to come over to your house and be greeted by him.”
“We came to Bel Air together,” Isla said patiently. “And if I’m not here and he is, and someone comes to the door, why wouldn’t Levi answer it?”
“I’m just not sure what it is you think you’re doing, Isla. Anyway, you’re an adult, so I suppose it’s not my place to tell you how to live your life. I’ve got some more errands to run, so I’ll show myself out.”
I stepped back so Sharon could pass and she shot me a glare as she did so. I tried to give her a I’m not your enemy smile, but she just continued to glare until she was past. Was all her hostility really because I’d made a few jokes about Isla when we’d been younger? I supposed that was possible, but it seemed an awfully long time to hold onto a grudge.
I looked at Isla once her mother was gone. “That was unexpected,” I said.
“What part?”
“I don’t know—all of it? She’s clearly no fan of mine.”
Isla waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t let it bother you. She just wants what’s best for me, and she’s also not someone who deals with change very well, so this combination of things is equaling a situation that she’s not going to have a very easy time dealing with. At first, anyway. But she’ll get used to it.”
“I didn’t realize she hated me.”
“She doesn’t hate you.”
I gave her a skeptical look. “I don’t know about that. She seemed pretty pissed.”
“Like I said, she doesn’t deal with change well, so showing up on her door step with a new duvet and all that stuff probably wasn’t the best idea.”
“It wasn’t that, though. Well, maybe a little, but mostly she was pissed at me because of what happened before.”
“What do you mean?” Isla said. Now it was her to turn to look skeptical.
“How I used to . . . how I’d made fun of you, when we were younger.”
I watched Isla’s face closely when I said that, but her expression didn’t really change. Yes, I had teased her when we’d been younger, and looking back now, I realized that it probably wasn’t the kindest thing, but I wasn’t trying to be outright mean. It was more funny than anything else, and it never seemed to bother her. “I was being an asshole then,” I said. “I know that. And I guess I owe you an apology. So: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made fun of you like that. I shouldn’t have. I guess I just thought it was funny, and it never really seemed to bother you.”
“It didn’t bother me at all,” she said.
“Well . . . good. I’m glad to hear that. I’m still sorry, though.”
She shrugged. “We were teenagers. Kids do dumb stuff like that a lot. Now, where did I leave my phone?” She turned away from me and started looking for the phone. I helped her look; we found it on the counter in the bathroom, and since she didn’t seem to want to talk about the past anymore, I didn’t say anything else. I was just happy to hear that there were no ill after effects because I had made fun of her when we’d been younger.
26.
Isla
I left again, this time with my phone, hoping that I wouldn’t return to find my mother fighting with Levi. I met Kelly over at our gym, which hadn’t reopened since the flood. It had been dried out, and we still had fans and dehumidifiers going, but I thought I could detect the faint smell of mildew, or mustiness, similar to that of a basement. We sat on the steps outside to talk.
“Listen, Isla,” Kelly said. “I know that I fucked up. I let myself get totally caught up with Wes, and I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. If the roles were reversed, I’d probably be pretty pissed that you had done something like that, especially if it was for a guy.”
“You don’t even know him that well,” I said.
“I know.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but he told me the other day that he thinks it’s better if we’re just friends. He promised he’d still pay me back, but I doubt I’ll ever see that money. Don’t worry though; I’ll pay it back myself if I have to. I just feel like an idiot, I really do. If I could go back and change it, I would, but I can’t. So all I can say is that I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Kel. And don’t worry about paying the money back.”
“No, I want to. I don’t want you to think that I was just using it as my personal bank account. I mean, I was, but I was always going to pay it back.”
“Okay,” I said, because I could tell that she’d already made her mind up. “I’m sorry to hear that, though. About you two. Don’t feel like you can’t tell me that stuff.”
“I know I can. The whole thing is just humiliating. Aren’t I a little old to be going through all this shit? Falling head over heels for a guy who really couldn’t give two shits about me?”
“I saw you guys together; he seemed like he was really into you, too.”
“Guys are dicks.
“Most of them.”
/>
“Speaking of,” Kelly said, “Sophie told me about Project Revenge. How’s that going?”
“Uh . . . it’s fine.”
She laughed. “I think that’s pretty awesome you’re doing that. He was such an asshole to you. I’d love to be there to see the look on his face when you tell him to fuck off.”
“Geez, it sounds like Sophie gave you all the details.”
“Well, she did say it was her idea. Which I believe—that totally sounds like something Sophie would think up. The whole thing must feel pretty surreal, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It does.”
“That’s crazy he left you all that money. You don’t have to tell me how much, but it was a lot, wasn’t it?”
I nodded. “Yeah, it was. I was really surprised.”
“Have you bought anything yet?”
“No, not really. Well, just some stuff for my mom that she already brought back to the house and said she doesn’t want.”
“That sounds exactly like your mom.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I guess it does.”
When Kelly and I finished talking, I got into my car. I started to drive, but not back toward home. I wasn’t sure where I was going at first, just sort of driving with no destination in mind. But then I saw the Audi dealership, and I turned in without even really thinking about it.
It wasn’t as if my Honda Accord didn’t work perfectly fine; it did, and it probably would continue to do so for many more years. But I hadn’t really bought anything for myself yet, and I had all this money, so why not? I didn’t want a BMW or a Mercedes; I also didn’t want something big like a Range Rover, but I had always liked Audis. Sophie’s mom had gone out with a guy for a while, Bill was his name, and was the vice president of a bank, and he drove an Audi. Sophie and I were maybe eight or nine and he used to drive us in the Audi to go get ice cream.
A salesman strolled over when I walked in. He was young, probably mid-twenties, and quite handsome.
“Welcome,” he said. “My name’s Justin. Have you ever driven an Audi before?”
“No. But I like how they look.”
“They are very aesthetically pleasing, aren’t they?”
“Yes, they are.”
I went over to one of the cars. It was a four-door sedan, but sleek and fast looking. It was a matte-charcoal color; not quite black, not quite gray.
Justin cleared his throat. “Now, are we waiting for a husband or significant other to get here?”
I turned and looked at him. “No,” I said. “This is a car for me. That I’m buying for myself.”
“I apologize. I didn’t mean to be presumptuous. Why don’t you let me show you some of our other cars that are more in your price range?”
“I’ll take this one,” I said, not bothering to bring up the fact that he would not have asked me the question if I had been a guy.
“Umm . . . that’s the S8 Plus. It’s our most expensive model . . . I . . . I don’t know if I can let you test drive it. Are you sure you really want that one?”
“I’m sure. And I don’t need to test drive it. I know I like these cars and it doesn’t have to be perfect, anyway. It’s just a car, right?” I was enjoying the completely flummoxed look on his face.
“Ummm, okay. Well, why don’t we come over here and we can get started on the loan paperwork and make sure that you’ll get approved before we go any further. And how much were you planning to put down? Generally, people put down—”
“We don’t need to fill out any loan paperwork,” I interrupted. “I’m going to pay for it in full.”
His eyes widened and he looked beyond flustered. “Ma’am,” he said. “This car is one hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars. Do you mean that you’re going to buy it outright today?”
“That’s what I mean.”
I dug through my purse and pulled out my wallet. “Here you go,” I said, handing him my debit card. “I actually don’t have a credit card with that high of a limit on it. But my debit card should work just fine.”
He took it from me as though he were expecting it to blow up in his hand. “It’ll go through,” I said.
I stood there waiting while he ran the card. It went through, he gave me the keys, and just like that, I had a new car.
“So . . . obviously I can’t drive two cars,” I said. “I guess I can try to come back and get this. But I really don’t want it, though.”
“We can’t take it as a trade-in, since it’s not an Audi.”
“No, no, I’m not looking to do a trade-in. Is there another option, though? Can I donate it?”
“You want to donate that? It looks like it’s in really good condition.”
“It is.”
“Well, we had another customer donate their car to the local radio station. It’s a tax write off. They’ll come get the car and everything; if you give them a call and arrange it, I think we could let you keep the car parked here until they were able to do so. Here, let me look up the number for you.”
I waited while he went on the computer and got the phone number for me. I was on the phone for less than five minutes; all I had to do was sign the title over and leave the keys and they’d send me something to use for taxes next year as a write-off.
“Thanks for all your help,” I said to Justin, who was still looking at me as though he couldn’t believe that I’d just come in here and bought that car.
I’d never driven a brand new car before, had never seen the odometer go from 000000 to 000001. And this really was something else. The seats were butter-soft leather, with lumbar support, and were so comfortable I felt as though I could easily drive all the way to California. I’d certainly be able to make it there in record time; I didn’t go over fifty, but I could feel the car’s power and knew that it was the sort of thing that could go exceptionally fast if I just pressed a little harder on the gas.
I wasn’t too far from my mom’s house, so I decided I’d stop by there quickly before I headed home. I didn’t know if she’d actually be there or not, but if she was, I wanted to talk to her.
Her car was in the driveway when I pulled up and she was out in the side yard, working in her garden. She lifted the wide brim of her straw hat as I approached.
“I was wondering who just pulled into my driveway,” she said. “Where’s your car?”
“That is my car. I bought a new one. And don’t worry—I’m donating the other one. And I won’t even use it as a tax write off.”
She went back to pulling weeds. “Well that’s generous of you. That car is in perfectly good condition; someone will really luck out with that.” She rocked back onto her heels, dropping the weeds she’d just pulled into the bucket beside her. “I hope that you’re going to be philanthropic with that money, Isla. I hope you’re going to try to do some good with it. You have a rare opportunity, and I would hate to see it go to waste.”
She was saying this because she was a good person. I knew it could be a whole lot worse; she could be one of those people who was only interested in how much of the money she’d be able to get, in what I’d be able to do for her. That wasn’t the case at all, but I still couldn’t help feeling irritated.
“I know,” I said. “I haven’t made any decisions yet as to what exactly I’m going to be doing with the money, but it’s not just going to be used for one big shopping spree, I promise you that.”
“I would hope not. So. What brings you by? Just wanted to show me your new car?”
“I wanted to ask you something.”
“Okay.”
“I wanted to ask what exactly it is you think you’re doing. With Levi.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Should I be the one asking you that question?”
“I don’t recall asking you to come over and start giving Levi shit. I mean, I come home and find you two there, in the middle of an argument.”
“It was just quite a surprise to be going over to your house and have him answer the door,” she said. “It was the l
ast thing I was expecting.”
“Even though you knew that he’d come here with me?”
“No, Isla—this whole thing with him.”
“Yes, I know, Mom. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t think I should be hanging out with him. I’ve got it.”
“I just feel there’s been a lot of changes for you in a very short period of time. I don’t want you to get so caught up in things that you end up doing something stupid, or you end up getting hurt. I don’t want to see that happen.”
“Levi’s not out to get me.”
My mother stood up and stretched, the knees of her jeans stained with dirt. She was perfectly happy out here, though, working in her garden, getting dirt underneath her fingernails, ripping up weeds, being out under the sun. What had she been thinking, marrying Alex?
“Are you just afraid?” I asked. “Are you afraid that the same thing is going to happen to me that happened between you and Alex?”
“They’re different from us,” she said. “I know that sounds like an odd thing to say. And probably not a politically-correct thing to say, either. But they are. Money has given them a different outlook on life. Alex’s was different than Levi’s, of course, but it’s still vastly different from you and me. It’s not a good or bad thing; that’s just the way it is.”
“That didn’t stop you from marrying Alex.”
“No, it didn’t. But how did that work out? I let myself get caught up in the idea that the two of us could somehow transcend our differences. And in a way, we did, but what ultimately ended our relationship was the fact that he was really married to his business. Levi might be different in that regard, but he’s had such a different life than you have.”
I shook my head. “Mom, that doesn’t even make sense. Are you saying that you think people have to be the same in order for a relationship to work? Because that’s ridiculous.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Isla. People can certainly come from very different backgrounds and have it work, but they also have to have similarities, too. The right guy is out there for you, Isla. You’re a good girl, you always have been. I just don’t think Levi’s the right person for you.”
