‘Let’s do the story,’ they begged Jamie. ‘About the pizza. Please!’
Jamie looked at Janet. The boys looked at Janet. She shook her head in defeat. ‘Ten minutes,’ she said sternly. ‘And then it’s time for bed.’
They sat at the kitchen table while Janet made sandwiches for the lunch-boxes.
‘Let’s do a story about a sandwich,’ Jamie suggested. ‘Instead of pizza. Like that reading book you showed me.’
‘OK.’ Adam and Rory looked eager. ‘What’s the first letter?’
‘P.’
‘Peas,’ Rory said quickly.
‘Potatoes,’ Adam added.
‘Porridge!’ Adam shouted.
Jamie was scribbling the words down on a large sheet of paper. ‘Two letters this time,’ he announced. ‘C and h. Do you remember what sound that makes?’
‘Ch,’ the twins told him proudly.
‘Chocolate,’ Rory offered.
‘Chips,’ Adam put in.
‘Cheese,’ Janet called. She waved the slice she was about to lay on the bread.
Jamie and the boys all glanced up, appearing surprised at her uninvited suggestion. Or was the thought of including her in the game the surprise? Janet smiled almost shyly and turned quickly back to her task. She didn’t have to be a part of it. There were plenty of things she should be doing—like sorting the washing she’d taken down from the line hours ago. Janet hunted for the matching socks. The laundry was out of sight from the kitchen table but she could still hear the game clearly. The boys showed no signs of waning enthusiasm as Jamie coached them through the sounds of several more consonants.
‘We’ll have to put it together,’ he said finally. ‘It’s time you boys went to bed.’ There was a short silence and then Jamie cleared his throat. ‘Adam and Rory were hungry,’ he said.
‘They were very hungry,’ Rory broke in.
‘Write that bit down, Jamie,’ Adam instructed. ‘What’s next?’
Jamie pointed to the words on the paper. ‘They decided to make a sandwich,’ he read. ‘Adam found the butter, a knife and some bread. Rory started looking for something to spread.’
The twins giggled.
‘Shall we have chocolate and cheese, or big blue berries or pickles and porridge and peas?’
The boys shrieked with laughter. Janet shot out of the laundry. ‘OK, settle down.’
‘That’s as far as we’ve got anyway,’ Jamie said placatingly. ‘Off to bed, boys. We’ll finish our story another time.’
‘Will you come up and tuck us in, Jamie?’
The boys trailed upstairs, still giggling. Janet heard them chanting from the bathroom.
‘Adam and Rory were hungry. They were ve-ery hungry.’
There were more giggles and muted thumps from the bedroom a short time later.
‘Shall we have chocolate and cheese?’
‘Yes!’ shouted Adam.
‘Or big blue berries?’
‘No!’ shouted Rory.
‘Or pickles and porridge and peas?’
‘Yuck!’ the twins yelled happily. ‘Double yuck!’
The noise level had subsided by the time Jamie came downstairs. Janet went up to kiss the boys goodnight and found them virtually asleep. For the first time ever, Janet wished they weren’t quite so good at going to sleep. Returning to the kitchen, she procrastinated as long as she could, tidying the kitchen bench, making a pot of tea and finally lugging the laundry basket into place on the kitchen table. Jamie sat, watching her patiently.
‘Sit down, Janet,’ he said eventually. ‘Your tea’s getting cold.’
Janet kept her eyes on the washing basket. ‘I just need to find some clean underwear for the boys. If I don’t get organised now, it’s chaos in the morning.’ She pulled several T-shirts from the top of the pile.
Jamie sighed. He leaned back in his chair and fixed Janet with a very direct look. ‘You can’t make this go away, Janet. I think you’d better explain exactly why you don’t want the boys told about me yet.’
‘Because …’ Janet smoothed a T-shirt against her body, before folding it hurriedly. ‘Because they’ve become very attached to you.’
‘All the more reason for telling them, I would have thought.’ Jamie sounded puzzled.
Janet pulled a pair of jeans from the basket and stretched the legs. ‘It’s only two weeks until Josh and Toni come back. You won’t be working at St David’s any more. You’ll probably decide to move on. The boys will be upset.’ Janet abandoned the jeans and fished out a sock. She stared at the basket. ‘They’d be devastated if they knew you were their father and you still went away.’ Janet tried to keep her voice steady. The boys wouldn’t be the only ones who would be devastated. How could this be happening to her? Again.
‘I love these children, Janet,’ Jamie said quietly. ‘My commitment to them won’t change—wherever I am.’
Janet screwed the sock up in her hand. She bit her lip and blinked hard, fighting back tears. ‘What if you go back to Scotland? Am I going to have to pack my sons off in the holidays and send them to the other side of the world?’ She drew in a ragged breath. ‘How will I ever know whether I can really trust you to send them back?’
‘The same way I’d know I could trust you to send them to me.’
Janet’s tears overflowed uncontrollably as she turned a desperate gaze towards Jamie. ‘I admit I was wrong, Jamie. I should have tried harder to let you know I was pregnant. I shouldn’t have kept you apart from your children. And maybe … maybe …’ Janet stifled a sob and looked away from Jamie’s sombre face. ‘Maybe I deserve to be punished. But not this, Jamie. Please. Adam and Rory are all I have. It’s too …’ Janet covered her face with her hands, muffling her words.
Jamie’s chair scraped on the floor as he pushed it back roughly. Janet felt strong arms encircle her. She was pulled firmly against Jamie’s chest. She could feel his heart beating steadily, could feel the soothing hand stroking her head as she pressed her face into his shoulder. She could hear the deep, gentle rumble of Jamie’s voice.
‘I’m not trying to punish you, Janet. I don’t want to hurt you or the boys. I’ll never do that. Believe me.’
Janet raised her head slowly. She wanted to believe it so badly. The raw emotion she saw in Jamie’s face stilled her fears. She did believe it. Maybe everything had been her fault. How could she have ever doubted this man? Or doubted the strength of their love.
‘Trust me, Janna,’ Jamie said softly.
‘I will,’ Janet whispered. ‘I do trust you, Jamie. We’ll tell the boys. Soon.’
Janet saw the relief and joy in Jamie’s eyes. Then his grip tightened as he pulled her swiftly closer again. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘Thank you.’
Jamie’s cheek was pressed against Janet’s curls. She closed her eyes as she felt his head turn and his lips brushed her forehead. She heard her name spoken almost as a groan.
‘Oh, Janna.’
Janet lifted her face towards the sound, her eyes still closed. She felt the touch of Jamie’s fingers as he brushed away the remnants of her tears. Then came the softer touch of his lips on her face. Gentle kisses that met each eye, each cheekbone, each corner of her mouth, before covering her lips.
Janet gasped at the painful intensity of awakened desire. As her lips parted she could taste the salt of her own tears on Jamie’s lips and tongue. She could taste Jamie. She could drown in that taste. Her arms moved up around Jamie’s neck automatically. He shifted his position, changing the angle of their contact so that no space was left between their bodies. Janet could feel his arousal matching her own. When his hand brushed slowly over her breast she cried out, the sound stifled by Jamie’s questing mouth. He drew back slowly. They were both breathing hard, as though they’d run a considerable distance. Jamie had to clear his throat before he could speak, and his voice still sounded raw.
‘Would the boys stay asleep … if we went upstairs?’
The boys. That was why Jamie was
here. For a few minutes Janet had forgotten she was a mother. Had forgotten Jamie was a father. She had been aware of nothing but how much she wanted him. Was it her that Jamie wanted? Or was it simply gratitude that she’d capitulated over the issue of telling the boys the truth?
‘I’m not sure,’ she said untruthfully. The boys would sleep though anything short of the house collapsing around their ears. ‘And I’m not sure this is a good idea, Jamie.’ She pulled back and he released her reluctantly. Then he nodded slowly.
‘You’re right. It’s certainly not why I came here.’ Jamie’s voice was well controlled now. ‘We can do without any more complications. Let’s deal with the most important issue. Do you want me to tell the boys myself or shall we do it together?’
Janet drew in a steadying breath. ‘We’ll do it together,’ she said quietly. ‘At the weekend. When we’ve all got plenty of time to talk things through.’
At least Janet could have a few more days to prepare herself. A few days to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t important in Jamie McFadden’s life for her own sake. She was included solely because she was the mother of his children.
CHAPTER NINE
‘JAMIE’S our dad? Our real dad?’
‘That’s right.’ Janet was watching the boys carefully. She knew Jamie was staring at them just as intently from the other end of the kitchen table. They were just finishing a Saturday lunch of pizza and salad.
Adam and Rory looked at each other.
‘Cool,’ Adam stated calmly.
‘Yeah,’ Rory agreed. ‘I told you he wasn’t a dork.’ He turned to Jamie. ‘Are you going to live with us now?’
‘No.’ Jamie and Janet spoke in unison. Adam looked worried.
‘Are you still going to take us to the Crusaders game?’
‘You bet.’ Jamie smiled. ‘I’ll be taking you lots of places.’
‘What about when you go home?’ Rory asked suspiciously. ‘Mum said you might go back to Scotland one day.’
‘Did she?’ Jamie’s quick glance at Janet was cool. ‘Well, if I do, it will only be for a visit and you guys might even like to come with me.’
Janet stared at her plate. She’d like to go back to Scotland one day—just for a visit.
‘For now, though,’ Jamie continued, ‘I’m going to stay right here. I’m going to look for a house to buy and maybe you can come and stay the night sometimes.’
‘Can Popeye and Olive come, too?’
‘Sure.’
Adam caught his mother’s eye. ‘I’m full. Can we go and play now, Mum?’
‘Aren’t you going to eat your salad?’
‘Salad sucks,’ Rory announced.
‘Rory!’ Janet admonished.
‘Salad’s good for you,’ Jamie said casually. ‘It’s my favourite.’
‘Is it?’ Rory turned an amazed gaze back to his plate. Adam folded up a lettuce leaf and chewed manfully. Rory still wasn’t tempted. ‘We’re going to make a rat circus,’ he said importantly. ‘With a tightrope. Want to come and see, Jamie?’ Rory stopped suddenly and angled his head speculatively. ‘Hey! Do we get to call you ‘‘Dad’’ now?’
Jamie looked at each of his sons in turn. Janet’s breathing tightened as she saw the glint of moisture in Jamie’s eyes and heard the catch in his voice.
‘I’d really like you to call me ‘‘Dad’’,’ he told them. ‘If you want to, that is.’
The boys raced out. Jamie and Janet sat in silence at their respective ends of the table. Their eye contact was sombre. The axis of all their lives had just tilted, despite the twins’ apparently casual acceptance of the news. How was it going to affect them all in the long term? Janet felt the need to say something. Anything.
‘You never used to like salad,’ she commented.
‘I still don’t.’ Jamie grinned. ‘Salad sucks.’
The back door banged as the twins rushed back into the kitchen.
‘Hey, Dad!’ Rory yelled. ‘Popeye and Olive have disappeared.’
‘They chewed a big hole in the hutch,’ Adam added forlornly. ‘They’ve run away.’
Jamie stood up. ‘I’ll come and help you look for them,’ he offered.
Janet watched them leave the room.
‘Hey, Dad?’ Rory said excitedly as they vanished from view. ‘If we can’t find them, can we have a dog instead?’
Everything had changed. And yet nothing had changed. The week at St David’s settled into a normal routine. Sometimes chaotic, sometimes quiet. Some patients had serious problems to be dealt with but there were no major emergencies. Even the medical centre’s more colourful patients were all behaving amenably.
Mr Collins demanded an appointment with Jamie. ‘My blood feels a bit on the thin side,’ he informed Sandy. ‘I need to discuss my aspirin dose and I’m sure Dr McFadden’s an expert on anticoagulation.’
Mrs Neville also had her sights set on the new doctor. She asked for a quiet word with Janet. ‘I haven’t talked to Dr Bennett yet about … you know, my little problem.’
‘Haven’t you?’ Janet was surprised. ‘Are the haemorrhoids getting better, then?’
‘No.’ Mrs Neville blushed. ‘I’ve made an appointment with Dr McFadden this morning. He did such a good job with my finger and I thought … well …’ Mrs Neville’s colour deepened. ‘I just wondered, could you have a word with him first? Before I go in?’
‘Of course.’ Janet patted the woman’s arm. ‘I’ll make sure he understands and don’t be embarrassed. Doctors are very used to dealing with problems like this.’
Constance Purdie came in for the regular dressing change on her ulcer. She wore a pair of startlingly pristine white trainers. Hope was wearing an identical pair of shoes.
‘They’re surprisingly comfortable,’ she told Janet. ‘I’ve joined a walking club.’
Constance poked Janet with a knobbly finger. ‘There are lots of young men in that club,’ she confided happily.
‘Mother! You have to be over sixty-five to join.’
Janet told Jamie about Hope’s potential younger man at morning tea. He chuckled. She then told him that she wasn’t happy about administering May Little’s psychiatric medications now that she’d been released from hospital. Jamie listened attentively.
‘She’s never been happy about needles,’ Janet finished. ‘Why does she have to have injectable drugs? She’s going to be in here twice a week.’
‘I’ll do it.’ Jamie grinned. ‘As long as there are no cans of baked beans nearby.’
Pagan Ellis was bringing her baby in. The staff spent the rest of their break speculating enjoyably on what the little girl might have been called.
‘Something astrological, I expect,’ Oliver offered finally. ‘Probably Aquarius since she’s so keen on water.’
‘Dolphinia.’ Sophie smiled. ‘She likes dolphins as well.’
‘What was the father’s name?’ Jamie queried.
‘Ziggy,’ Sophie supplied.
‘Then it has to be Stardust.’ Janet grinned. They were all laughing when Sandy came in to tell them that Pagan had arrived and could they all, please, come and admire the baby?
‘What’s the baby’s name?’ Sophie demanded.
Sandy looked at the expectant faces with surprise. ‘Jane,’ she told them. She looked even more puzzled at the wave of renewed mirth. ‘What’s so funny about that?’
‘Never mind,’ Jamie chuckled. ‘It’s a long story.’ He caught Janet’s eye and she smiled back. Funny how she’d once considered that Jamie didn’t belong here. In a few short weeks he’d become as much part of the fabric of St David’s as she was.
Jamie took an afternoon off on Wednesday to go house-hunting. A real estate agent had lined up several potential properties. He did the same thing the following week but didn’t bother looking at more than the first house on offer that day.
‘It’s perfect,’ he told Janet. ‘Lovely big old house. Needs a bit of work but I’ve always fancied a project like that. It’
s got a swimming pool and half an acre of garden with a fantastic old pear tree that’s just perfect for a tree hut.’
Janet had gone home trying to suppress waves of resentment. The house did sound perfect. Set up in a valley in the Cashmere Hills which was popular with market gardeners, it was only minutes away from town but still had a rural outlook. The house was big. The garden was huge. A swimming pool and a tree house to be installed. Jamie could offer the boys so much more than she could. How long would it be before they preferred the time they spent with their father?
Crusader fever hit town in a big way on Friday. Red and black balloons hung from shop windows, red and black streamers rippled from car aerials. A vehicle from a local radio station drove past St David’s with ‘Conquest of Paradise’ blaring at deafening volume through the speakers attached to the roof. The staff speculated with considerable amusement what the effect might be when it drove past Mr Collins’s residence. It wasn’t the only excitement stirring the medical centre, however.
Oliver was grinning from ear to ear after a phone call. ‘Josh and Toni are back in town. They want us all to meet for a drink tonight.’ He slapped Jamie on the back. ‘I’ve told them what a champion you are, mate, and they can’t wait to meet you.’ He turned to Janet. ‘You’ll come, won’t you, Jan?’
‘I’ll have to see if I can get a babysitter,’ Janet said. ‘That’s never been easy and I can’t ask Mrs Carpenter any more.’
‘I’ll babysit for you,’ Sandy offered. ‘I’m too young to go to the pub.’
‘Sold!’ Oliver announced. ‘See you there at seven, Janet.’
It was nearly 7.30, however, by the time Janet found a parking place and entered the bar the Coopers had chosen for the gathering. Toad Hall was known for its comfortable seating and casual atmosphere. Janet spotted Josh sitting on a couch with Jamie, engrossed in a conversation that was punctuated by frequent bursts of laughter. They had clearly taken an instant liking to each other. Janet found herself enveloped in an enthusiastic hug from Toni.
‘It’s so good to see you,’ Toni said happily. ‘I can’t wait to get back to work. We’ve got some presents for Adam and Rory. We thought we’d save them until their birthday. It’s not far away, is it?’
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