“Well, I’ll introduce you to Lady Treacle. I’m sure she’ll be impressed. I’ll also introduce you to her friends Coconut and Cleopatra.”
That was how Mog Og and his cat friends spent their evening: gossiping and trying to meet new lady-cat friends.
The very next night Mog Og said to his cat friends, “Meet me beside the zebra crossing at midnight. Be there or be square.”
Mog Og arrived briskly on time with a dab of eau de cologne. He was ready for the midnight mischief.
Mog Og waited at the zebra crossing, and not long after midnight Barney showed up. Mog Og was glad he didn’t have to sit any longer on a bin lid twiddling his thumbs, pondering the mysteries of the universe and thinking up rhymes.
“Hey, I’m glad you showed up, Barney. Marzipan and Popcorn are not here yet.”
“I think Marzipan will be late. She’ll be washing her fur and manicuring her nails. You know very well she’s a glamour puss.”
Barney and Mog Og walked on together along the same route they travelled every night. Every now and then they looked at the stars and tried to identify the Plough or the Pole Star. Suddenly Popcorn turned up with his friends Fudge and Cat Majick. Even Marzipan, looking glamorous, turned up.
“Hey, Mog Og,” said Popcorn, “are you going to introduce me to Lady Treacle and Cleopatra and Coconut? I’m in the mood for lurv!”
“Well,” said Mog Og, “they all live in a posh area of Hyde Park, and it’s a bit of a journey down the cobblestones just past Kensington. It will be difficult to get them out on a chilly night like this. We’ll have to sing or I’ll have to sing as they all know my voice.”
“Well,” said Popcorn, “I will be over the moon if you can tempt them out, because they sound like the cutest girl cats I’ll ever have the good fortune to meet. It’s so worth trying to tempt them out with your best singing. Me and Barney will accompany you.”
“Come on, then,” said Mog Og. “Let’s go and introduce you to the girls.”
Mog Og and Barney and Popcorn stood under the street lamps on the tree-lined avenue where Lady Treacle and Cleopatra and Coconut lived. Mog Og started to sing a love song in his best voice, and Popcorn and Barney sang the chorus.
Lady Treacle was the first to hear them singing. She recognised Mog Og immediately, and she ran out to meet her old friend.
As soon as she noticed Barney, it was love at first sight. She loved his black fur. Barney was rather shy, but he and Lady Treacle struck up a friendship while Popcorn waited patiently for the other girls to come out. Mog Og continued to sing.
At last Cleopatra and Coconut strolled along the avenue to meet the boys. Popcorn fell in love with Cleopatra. Her black satin fur and long eyelashes caught his eye; Mog Og preferred the milky satin fur of Coconut, who walked so elegantly. Coconut looked at Mog Og and smiled a very sweet smile.
“I’m so glad you’ve managed to get out, my dear,” said Mog Og.
“I heard you singing,” said Coconut. “I must admit that love song was beautiful.”
When Coconut spoke her voice was like velvet satin. Mog Og was lost for words. He was a wordsmith - he could make up songs and poetry - but he was lost for words when Coconut spoke.
Suddenly Lady Treacle suggested they all go to her house and chill out on the back porch. Lady Treacle had a tree house in the garden, and she thought it was an ideal pad for her and Barney. She wanted to be alone with Barney as he was so shy. He still hadn’t said much; she had done most of the talking. She wanted Barney not to be so shy and to just be himself. Mog Og always did the talking - he could talk all night and all day, and he usually did - but Barney was very mysterious, like the depths of midnight itself. He was very soulful.
All of them sat on the back porch and Mog Og started to sing. The lady cats all joined in - Lady Treacle in her smooth, mellow voice; Cleopatra in her heavenly, sweet voice; and Coconut in her satin, velvet-smooth voice. They sang as the stars twinkled and the full moon hung in the sky and everyone else slept soundly - even the other cats in the neighbourhood slept soundly.
Mog Og woke up. He was still on the back porch at Lady Treacle’s place. So he woke up Popcorn and Barney (he gave them a nudge), and they all realised they had to get home before the morning arrived. The girls - Coconut, Cleopatra and Lady Treacle - were still peacefully sleeping, so the boys tiptoed out and headed back down the road known as Kensington Cobbles and through the back streets with a hop, a skip and a jump.
When they were nearly home, they bumped into the alley cats, Katmandu, Beetlejuice, Smokey Joe, Poppy and Pandora. These cats were always outside, prowling around, and they were curious to know where Mog Og had been. The alley cats all had fleas and didn’t seem to mind sharing them!
Mog Og piped up: “Watch out, boys! These alley cats have fleas, so let’s just say hi to them and then run like the wind. They say they’re under the doctor for treatment, but oh boy! It seems to take for ever to get rid of fleas, you know. Poppy and Pandora look very cute, so it’s such a shame we can’t stop.”
The alley cats were too busy scratching their fleas to give chase. They just let Mog Og and his mates whizz off round the corner.
Mog Og was glad he kept a safe distance from the flea-bitten alley cats. He felt so sorry for them, as their fleas made it hard for them to make friends. They were rough diamonds, but they meant well.
George’s Secret Compartments
Mog Og finally got home. As he was climbing over the garden fence, he saw Marmalade and Cat Majick dancing and singing under the apple tree. He couldn’t believe it. He was a little bit envious, but then he remembered he’d fallen in love with one of the posh cats that he’d just been to see. However, he still wanted to think Marmalade loved him. Luckily she didn’t see him, and he quickly ran through the garden and into the house. He got into the kitchen and decided to sleep in the cubbyhole under a tartan rug that was used for picnics. It smelled of French cheese and wine. In no time at all he was fast asleep, dreaming of Coconut.
When he finally woke up, of course he was so hungry, and he went into the kitchen.
Milly noticed him and said, “Where have you been, Mog Og? You’ve been out for ages. Has anything happened in your world?”
Mog Og yawned. He was still so tired.
“I’ve had a great evening, Milly, with the posh cats from Hyde Park. Me, Popcorn and Barney met up with Lady Treacle, Cleopatra and Coconut, so we have had an excellent evening. And we’re all in love.”
“Mog Og,” said Milly, “I thought you liked Marmalade.”
“Well, I do, Milly, and I like Coconut too. Marmalade was with Cat Majick tonight, and I know Cat Majick has always liked her.”
“Oh, I see,” said Milly. “It’s very complicated in the cat world, isn’t it?”
“Well, Milly, I’m going to have another catnap. I’ve had some milk and I feel a bit refreshed, but I am going to sleep in the hall at the feet of George.”
Mog Og went into the hall, and George Midnight, the grandfather clock, was asleep. In fact, he was snoring. His snoring made Mog Og feel tired, so he finally fell asleep at George’s feet.
When Mog Og was asleep he couldn’t stop thinking about the alley cats with fleas. He so hoped they would get a cure. He actually dreamt that they found a cure, and a few weeks later when he met them (in the dream, of course) they had finally stopped scratching and he could actually make friends with them.
When Mog Og woke up, George was also wide awake, so he had finally stopped snoring.
“George,” said Mog Og, “do clocks get fleas or is it just cats?”
“Well, we grandfather clocks are made from mahogany, and we can get woodworm. It riddles our brains with holes. But the good thing is we don’t get fleas like cats do.”
“Where does mahogany come from?” asked Mog Og.
“It comes from
a tree that comes from ... a M–A–H–O–G–A–N–Y Jungle!”
Mog Og was impressed with George. He seemed to know everything. He also liked to talk to George about Scotland. George told Mog Og about Malaig, the place where he was made, and he told Mog Og about the Loch Ness Monster.
“Have you ever seen the Loch Ness Monster, George?” asked Mog Og.
“Oh, yes. I saw her once. She was sat on a rock near Urquhart Castle, and she was painting her nails red.”
“What did she look like?” asked Mog Og. “Did she look like a cat?”
“Well,” said George, she looked like a griffin. She had green skin. She looked like a little dragon - like a cute, magical dragon.”
“Oh,” said Mog Og, “and because she’s green they think she’s a monster.”
“Well,” said George, “that’s why she was putting nail varnish on her nails: trying to make herself look pretty. When I saw her she looked up and gave me a cute smile.”
“So she’s actually the Lock Ness Princess, then, George?”
“Well, I would say so,” said George. “It’s very beautiful, Scotland,” said George, “especially the lochs and the glens and the heather. Even though I’m a grandfather clock, I would love to walk out in the open air and visit the lochs and listen to the birds in the trees.”
“Yes,” said Mog Og, “it sounds lovely. I get sick of Jasmine shouting every ten minutes, Cuckoo! Cuckoo!”
Jasmine Feathersprings, the cuckoo clock, was on the wall in the dining room. Mog Og wasn’t so keen on her. They didn’t see eye to eye. He’d told her several times to put a sock in it and to shut up. If he slept on the armchair in the dining room she’d suddenly start shouting, “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!” He couldn’t understand why she should keep squawking. It made him so mad. Mog Og knew that Milly liked Jasmine and George liked Jasmine, but he had other ideas. He just wanted to shut her up so he could get some sleep. He felt a bit bad about disliking her. The first day she came to the house he was fast asleep in the dining room and suddenly he had been woken so rudely by Jasmine yelling, “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!” Of course she was a cuckoo clock, and that’s what cuckoo clocks do. It is how they tell the time, but whenever the cuckoo sprang out yelling, “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!” Mog Og jumped up to try and catch Jasmine.
Jasmine wasn’t very happy. She said Mog Og was a very bad-tempered, ugly cat.
That was how Mog Og was first introduced to Jasmine, and it was a bad start. Jasmine had not spoken to Mog Og since. Mog Og wanted to apologise, but Jasmine didn’t seem to want to speak to him.
However, she did talk to George a lot - every day, in fact. And she also spoke to Milly every day. In fact Milly was glad that Jasmine was so loud and boisterous. Jasmine was from Cornwall. She was handmade in Tintagel and spoke heartily of Camelot and King Arthur, the Lady of the Lake, Morgana, Guinevere and, of course, Merlin. Jasmine spoke of the Cornish countryside and how relaxing it is.
Mog Og was very interested in Cornwall - it sounded like a place you could get a very deep sleep.
Jasmine believed Cornish pixies existed. She said they dressed in green and danced around mushrooms. Mog Og wondered if pixies like cats. He wanted to meet one. He made a mental note to look for wild mushrooms next time he went on holiday. He hoped the family would go camping in Scotland, rather than Wales, next time.
Then Mog Og fell asleep again, and he dreamt about looking for pixies in Cornwall and looking for the Loch Ness Princess in Scotland. George also fell asleep again. He was snoring.
Milly was talking to Omega Horizon. She was talking about Mog Og going up to the Hyde Park area with Barney and Popcorn and meeting the posh lady cats.
“He’s met a lovely lady cat called Coconut,” said Milly to Omega Horizon. He seems to be infatuated with her. He says she’s very elegant with a lovely voice, but he’s worried about the alley cats. They’ve got fleas and can’t stop scratching. He feels so sorry for them.”
“George,” Milly asked, “is Jasmine feeling OK? She said Mog Og jumped up and tried to pull her feathers off. I think that it is very mean. Mog Og seems concerned about the alley cats, but not about clocks.”
“Well,” said George, “as you know, cats don’t like birds. Because Jasmine is a cuckoo, he isn’t very keen on her, Milly.”
“Oh, dear!” said Milly. “What do cats actually like, George?”
“Well,” said George, “they don’t like birds and they don’t like water.”
“They don’t like water!” said Milly. “Well, that is silly. No wonder the alley cats have fleas if they don’t like water. I suppose they never have a bath. But Mog Og says he goes dancing in the rain.”
“Well,” said George, “there are lots of large trees in the garden and he probably dances mostly in the shelter of the large oak trees. If he doesn’t dance in the shade of the trees, he must be a very unusual cat, as they generally don’t like water.”
“Aren’t cats strange?” said Milly. “They don’t like water and they don’t like birds, and they sleep most of the time and then go out at midnight.”
“Oh, yes,” said George. “In Egypt, cats are worshipped. There is a cat goddess called Bastet, and there are lots of cats in Egypt.”
“What’s Egypt like, George?”
“Well, it’s very hot, there’s lots of sand and there’s pyramids and temples and pharaohs.”
“I bet Mog Og would love Egypt - especially if it’s hot.”
“Oh, George, what exactly are scarecrows? I heard Mog Og saying he is going to fetch the scarecrows to Jasmine.”
George started to laugh - a deep hearty laugh - until tears streamed from his eyes.
“Oh, that is so mean of Mog Og to say he’s fetching the scarecrows to scare poor Jasmine to death.”
“What are they?” said Milly, feeling worried about an army of scarecrows coming to the house.
“Well,” said George, “they are mostly made to scare birds from fields. They are like people, but they have straw for hair, a carrot for a nose and nothing for a brain. They usually wear someone else’s clothes. They are quite scary, but they can’t walk or run very far, and I think they are scared of cats as cats can bite their trouser legs.”
“But I don’t think an army of scarecrows will be on their way. I think it’s Mog Og being a bit mean, but I’ll have a word with Jasmine and settle her mind. I’ll also tell Mog Og to tell any scarecrows on their way here to go back to Cornwall.”
“Oh, George,” said Milly, “you are a diamond. I think if you talk to Mog Og, he’ll realise he’s being a bit mean.”
Then suddenly Milly heard George snoring. He was having an afternoon nap.
Milly was very impressed with how much George knew. He seemed to know everything about history and geography. George had studied hard at clock school, and he had gained a masters degree. He had a secret compartment at the back of the clock, which contained manuscripts about the history of the world. George had read them all several times, but no one else had ever read them. He had another secret compartment, and this one held a time viewer which could be used to view scenes in history. So George Midnight was indeed very knowledgeable, as all the other clocks had found out - and they were all very impressed.
Mabble Merlin’s Delivery Van
It was almost time for Penelope’s birthday cocktail party. Patrick had bought the picture clock, London Melody, and he was keen to have it delivered in time.
Patrick informed Miles that the delivery of London Melody was due for that day. Miles said to Patrick that he would keep an eye out for the delivery van. Miles wasn’t going out that day so he was sure he would hear the doorbell.
Meanwhile, early that morning, Mabble Merlin loaded up the delivery van. He had a lot of things to deliver. He had to go to Pluckley, a village near Ashford in Kent, and he also had to go to Eastbourne.
Mabble Merlin loaded the van up. It was a 1940s-style delivery van. It was black with gold trimmings and gold signwriting in the shape of an arch, which looked rather artistic and eye-catching. It read, ‘The Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop’.
Mabble Merlin jumped into the van and sped off. His first stop was the home of Dr and Mrs Laugherty in Bayswater. He wove in and out of the early morning rush-hour traffic, which was almost bumper-to-bumper; it didn’t take him long at all. Soon enough he was at Dr and Mrs Laugherty’s house.
He admired the nice porch on the front of the house. It was one of these large Victorian town houses with a nice stained-glass door. He pressed the doorbell.
Miles rushed to the door and glimpsed the delivery van speeding off down the avenue; and he saw that there was a very large parcel left inside the porch. He picked it up and noticed it was addressed to ‘Penelope Laugherty’, so he guessed it was Penelope’s birthday present. He brought it in and put it on the bottom shelf of the closet in the hallway. The picture was wrapped in deep-blue shiny wrapping paper, tied with a light-blue bow.
Mabble Merlin was now on his way to Pluckley, where he was delivering a gold antique mirror to a couple that owned the Lion and Unicorn Inn. They had recently bought the inn and were renovating it.
The village of Pluckley was said to be haunted, and they were sure the inn was haunted. They had strange goings-on in the inn - and it would get a lot stranger once the mirror was delivered. One morning, as they lay in bed, the landlord said to his wife, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we woke up one morning and found ourselves in another house, or another inn, somewhere else completely!”
Mabble Merlin had decided to drive down the country lanes towards Kent. He was speeding along. It was so easy to drive the van: he just had to put his hands on the steering wheel and it drove itself. So he had plenty of time to view the countryside. He pressed a button and the van whizzed down the winding country lanes so fast it became a blur. The cows in the fields stopped chewing the cud and looked up to see what it was, and in one field all the sheep started running about. All the animals knew they were witnessing something strange. The delivery van reached warp speed!
The Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop Page 4
