“What you do to me,” he murmured as he backwalked her from the kitchen all the way to the bathroom, without ever once actually touching her, but staying so deep in her personal space, she felt intimately connected to him nonetheless.
But then, she always felt that way around him.
“Did you find anything suspicious on your prowl?” she asked him, hearing the thread of need in her voice, even as she tried valiantly to keep from going under his spell without a sign of struggle. He wouldn’t be around long, and she was warring with the need to indulge herself mightily while she could, and preserve some sense of control to keep from coming to want too much. Certainly more than she was ever going to get to keep, as that was going to be precisely nothing.
“Depends on what you define as suspicious.” He kicked the bathroom door shut behind them, keeping a very disappointed Bagel on the other side.
“Confirm your theory?” she asked, although the words weren’t much more than a hushed whisper as he leaned past her to turn on the shower.
Maybe she just needed to jump him and keep on jumping him until they both burned their need for each other out of their systems. Apparently they hadn’t come close to reaching that point yet. Not if the inferno of sexual tension currently raging between them in the small confines of her bathroom was any indication.
“I need to do a little more investigation,” he said, keeping his eyes pinned on hers as he started to peel off his shirt. It wasn’t until he started shimmying down his pants that the amused smile tautened the corners of his mouth. “You’re not planning on getting in the shower completely dressed again, are you?”
She’d been so caught up in watching him, she’d forgotten that part. Stepping out of his pants, he pushed aside her own fumbling hands and lifted her shirt himself. “I guess not,” she said, smiling herself, shamelessly enjoying how his hands felt as they brushed against her skin. “You wouldn’t be seducing me in order to keep me from pestering you about your latest opinion on matters, would you?”
He tugged her sweatshirt over her head and tossed it behind him. “Would it work?”
She shook her head.
“Then I guess the answer is no.” He stepped in closer and tugged at the waistband of her sweatpants. “Have I mentioned how much I like your easy access choice in clothing?”
“No, but I’m considering wearing just a T-shirt from now on. This is taking way too long.”
He yanked her sweats down in one motion, which put him in a convenient crouch in front of her. She let out a gasp and balanced herself by gripping his shoulders when he took a wicked detour with his tongue. “We’re so completely shameless,” she gasped.
“Great, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” she said, torn between a laugh at how freeing it was to be with him, and a soft moan on how deliciously good the things he was doing with his tongue made her feel. The soft moan won as he continued his very focused, tender assault on her most sensitive little bundle of nerve endings. “It’s a little insane how great it is. Have I mentioned that your idea of foreplay is pretty damn incredible?” She groaned when he slid his tongue away from where she needed it most, up over her torso, gasped again when he captured one turgid nipple for a brief, succulent moment, then moved up to nip her chin. “You stopped,” she said, perhaps pouting, just a little.
“I hate being predictable.”
“Remind me to shut the hell up more often.”
He simply continued to nip along the line of her jaw as she felt the rock-hard length of him brush between her thighs. The muscles there clenched repeatedly, and heedless of the shower running behind her, she gripped at his hips, wanting some part of him inside of her right that very second. Only to be disappointed again when he continued kissing and nipping along her neck as he turned her around. “Watch,” he whispered against the side of her neck.
She opened her eyes to find herself staring into the rapidly steaming mirror over her sink. Her gaze locked on his as he pulled her hips back. Black soot streaked his face, his hair, and his hands, leaving marks on her skin where he touched her. Instead of turning her off, it made him look wildly primal, and her ache for him intensified.
The sound that slid from her was deep and guttural as he pushed fully into her. She was so ready for him, and pushed back onto him, but there was nothing hurried this time. His strokes were slow, controlled, and oh so deep, but the connection she felt with him as their gazes held with each thrust was as visceral as it got. She braced her hands on the sink as he leaned over her, nipping at her ear, while his hands slid up her torso, streaking her skin with black. He toyed with her nipples, wrenching groan after groan from her, but nothing matched the low shout of pleasure he wrung from her when he slid one hand between her thighs.
She crested quickly, almost violently, and he kept his fingers there, slick and clever, kept her quivering and shuddering, until he was shaking with the effort to stave off his own imminent climax. She pushed back against him, needing more of him somehow, and yet feeling so completely full of him, she wasn’t sure what more there was to have.
His hands slid back to her hips, his fingers digging in tightly as he began pumping harder, faster. She met him thrust for thrust, her hands slipping on the porcelain of the sink as she fought to keep her grip. The mirror had fogged completely over at some point, but she didn’t need to see him now. She felt him so thoroughly it was as though she was part of him, as he was part of her. His climax, when he finally let it overtake him, was almost mindless in the frenzied way he drove into her, body slapping against body, animal grunts—his and hers—filling the steamed air.
He collapsed over her, and they both fell over the sink. She braced their weight on the mirror, leaving handprints on the steamed glass, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly to him, his body still shuddering in the aftermath.
It was hard to breathe in the thick air, the shower still pumping out more steam as their hearts raced and their bodies quivered. She had no idea how much time passed before he finally lifted her up and turned her around, saying nothing as he pulled her into his arms. He shifted, resting his weight against the sink as she leaned into him, oblivious now to the soot, the smoky smell, still trying to slow her pulse, breathe. He seemed to be doing the same as he stroked her hair, pressed his cheek against the top of her head, and just held her.
Hot and dirty sex, she thought. Literally, figuratively, any and every which way she wanted to look at it. It had felt like more, a lot more. It had felt like…She couldn’t find the words. Bathroom fun, sweaty and intense, but fun is all it is, she told herself. That was all it was, all it could be. Then she felt him press a kiss to her hair, and her heart bloomed so swiftly it made her eyes burn. So stupid, so silly, she scolded herself. Mistaking sex for love. For anything other than what it was. Pleasure. Profound in this case, life altering even, but mere physical gratification nonetheless.
Yet there was so much more there for her, and no amount of silent scolding was going to change that. She knew then just how much she’d gambled, letting him in at all. It wasn’t money, or success, or anything with an absolute value she’d risked. It was priceless. It was her heart. How had she been so foolish as to think it was something she could give away and not suffer for in the end?
And it was all she could do not to cling to him. She couldn’t force herself to step away, climb in the shower, toss off a light laugh, make some pithy remark about the mind-blowing sex they so effortlessly managed to have, as casual lovers would.
He slid his fingers beneath her chin, nudging it up, and she resisted for a second, not wanting him to see what might be in her eyes at that moment. She felt unmasked, naked, and vulnerable in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with her physical state at the moment, and everything to do with her emotional one. Donovan missed nothing. Even if he was unprepared for what he might find, she doubted he’d miss that either.
Selfishly, she wasn’t ready to let this go yet, to let him go. If she was
going to risk it all like that, lay her heart out like that, shouldn’t she get as much out of the devil’s bargain as she could?
But then, she already knew there wasn’t going to be any getting enough where Donovan was concerned. More now was only going to hurt more later. And yet the battle waged.
He nudged a little harder. “What’s going on in there?” he said, his voice hardly more than a gravelly rasp.
Sighing softly, knowing she had no other choice, she let him nudge, let him tip her chin, until their gazes met. And realized she was the one who was going to find the unexpected. Stunned, she could only stare into his eyes. Eyes that weren’t just filled with desire, or satisfied pleasure. In those silvery gray depths, she saw an easy, honest affection, so direct, so open, so…naked. Exposed. As exposed as she felt. He looked so far into her, with such blatant need, she felt touched so deeply she didn’t know it existed within her.
Projecting? She forced herself to ask. No, came the swift answer. Even she couldn’t imagine something that profound, that raw. “I—”
“Kate,” he said at the same time.
“What?”
“You go,” he said, again speaking over her. Their lips both twitched, but his arms banded more tightly around her. When she didn’t speak, he said, “The shower is going to run cold. And we need to talk.”
Her heart tightened inside her chest. She had no idea what she’d expected. Some silly declaration of love? So it was to be business, then, no matter what his eyes said. He was the pragmatic one, after all. He wouldn’t let the fantasy of the moment, of what they might want it to be, cloud what could only be.
“I know,” she said, and started to pull away.
He didn’t let her budge. “I know it, too.” He sighed heavily, then pressed his head to hers. “And yet I can’t let you go,” he said, the words hardly more than a rasp.
Her fingers dug into his back of their own volition, so clearly did her heart mirror that sentiment. Only she never wanted to let him go, well beyond any afterglow moment. But she’d bask in what she could. No point in pretending not to be shameless at this late stage. “Yeah,” she managed, “I know the feeling.”
“It’s not the sex,” he said as the moment spun out. “Though I swear I could take you again, right now. I’m—insatiable, apparently, where you’re concerned.”
She tried to lift her head, intent on smiling, on saying something smart and clever. And ignore completely the thread of confusion she heard in his voice that so clearly mirrored her own.
Again, he held her in place, kept her face tucked next to his, their gazes, for once, not on each other. Maybe that was the only way he could say what he needed to say, she thought, the words necessary to make clear what this was, and what it wasn’t, even if they both wanted it to be.
She told herself that the fact he’d wanted more at all, wanted anything near what she found herself yearning for, was gift enough. It told her she hadn’t tossed her heart into the ring completely selfishly or foolishly. That would have to be enough.
“We’ve talked about not knowing each other, about time being a measuring stick for knowledge. The kind of knowledge you’re supposed to have about someone in order to know for certain what your feelings are for them.”
She stilled then, even as her heart began racing.
“It’s supposed to be something built upon, slowly, over time, so you know, for sure, what it is, what it can be, and what it isn’t or will never be.” She lifted her head then, looked into his eyes, and her heart lifted to her throat at the stark vulnerability she saw there, the fear. “Donovan…”
“So explain this to me,” he said, his voice almost gone now, the rasp was so deep. “Explain how I know it’s you. How it’s always been you.” He paused, looking almost helpless. “How it will always be you.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, and her attempts at scolding and coercing herself into being smart and responsible came to an abrupt and permanent end. “Because you just do,” she said, her throat tight with the threat of those unshed tears.
“Maybe I can’t get enough of you, sexually, because it’s the fastest way to get as much of you as possible, on me, in me, in some permanent way. I don’t know. But it’s like the more I have, the hungrier I become. It’s only been a matter of days, and yet I have no perspective left where you’re concerned. There’s nothing rational about this, Kate, and I don’t know what to—”
She covered his mouth with her fingers. “Not everything is rational, Donovan. Not everything has to be.”
He pulled the pad of one of her fingers between his lips, gently pressed his teeth down, making her shudder in instantly renewed need. But it was more than her erogenous zones in play. Her heart was all the way out there, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying to think his might be, too. What did it mean? What would it change?
She didn’t want to think about any of that. She just wanted to be right where she was, in that particular moment, exulting in the intensity of the connection they seemed to be sharing. Knowing she wasn’t in it alone made giving in to it unbearably seductive. She pressed her finger against his tongue and felt his body jerk against hers.
“Come on,” he murmured around her finger, not letting it go. He stuck his hand under the spray, then tugged them both carefully into the tub. The water wasn’t scalding, but it was still hot enough. There was enough steam in the room to keep them both comfortable under the spray.
There was no further conversation. As if by silent agreement, Kate reached for the body soap and sponge and took her sweet time lathering his entire body. Finally it was her turn to enjoy exploring. She missed nothing, and he was growing hard again, and bracing his weight against the wall by the time she was done. Then he tugged her directly under the spray with him so the water cascaded over them both, rinsing the foamy soap off as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Slow, and deep, she fell completely into it, feeling him growing harder, nudging between her thighs. At this rate, they’d have to be wheeled out in chairs by morning.
The thought made her giggle, which had Donovan positioning her under the spray so it doused her, making her splutter, and they both laughed. A second later he’d captured her mouth again, this time in a soul-searing kiss, the water pounding down over both of them. Her laughter faded as she wove her arms around his neck and returned his kiss with everything she was feeling.
He reached behind them and shut the water off, but recaptured her mouth before she could say anything. He pulled her closer, took the kiss even deeper, until she shivered involuntarily. They both groaned a little in regret as he let her go and reached for the towels on the near wall rack.
She said nothing as he slung a towel around his hips, then wrapped her in the other towel and began gently drying her off. She was still quietly stunned by what they’d just done. Not the lovemaking, not the continued extended foreplay they seemed incapable of avoiding every time they were in reach of each other. But that last kiss…That joining had been more intimate than anything they’d shared up to that point. So gentle, so poignant, with so much poured into it, words that couldn’t be said, emotions that had no other avenue of expression.
She wondered what was going through his mind as he, too, remained silent as he finished up and grabbed her robe from the hook on the back of the door. He held it open for her, and their eyes met for the first time since stepping out of the tub. His were dark silver now, filled with open desire, penetrating intensity…and maybe a little of that stunned shellshock she was feeling, too.
She slipped her arms in, and he tugged her back against him, helping her knot the belt in the front, his chin pressing into her shoulder. He turned his head slightly, caught her earlobe for a quick nip. “We need to talk.”
Her heart wobbled, dipped, but held on with valiant effort. She wasn’t ready for this part. Couldn’t they just play house for a bit longer? Couldn’t they just pretend this wasn’t going to have to end sooner rather than later?
She knew the
answer to that. And she had the charred remains of a cabin a hundred yards downhill as a glaring reminder, in case she wanted to try and forget.
“I know.”
He opened the door and immediately squatted to give the very relieved Bagel a good belly scratch. Watching them, Kate thought how ridiculously easy it would be to fall head over heels in love with this man. When he glanced up just then, his lips quirked in a bit of a smile, her heart squeezed, and she knew she was already well on her way.
“Eat and then walk, or walk then eat?” he asked.
She looked at Bagel, writhing in ecstasy, and thought, That makes two of us. He’s gifted like that. “Eat first. I need to feed him, too. Give my hair a chance to dry a little before heading out.”
He straightened. “I can walk him.”
Kate started to gather up their clothes from the bathroom floor, but then let them lay. Hers were on top of his, and they’d all need washing now. “It’s okay,” she said, walking into the bedroom. “We’ll both go. Talk while we walk?” She rooted around in her closet as Donovan put his duffel on the bed and pulled out clean clothes. Good thing he’d grabbed that from his cabin when he had.
“I’m sorry. About losing all your stuff, all that equipment. I didn’t say that before, but I truly am.”
“It’s okay. Stuff is replaceable.”
She nodded, then watched in unabashed pleasure as he pulled on jeans and a plain white T-shirt, a combination Kate found incredibly appealing in the most basic of ways, especially with the little bit of stubble on his cheeks now, and the freshly washed hair. Then she laughed when he pulled on one of the new sweatshirts he’d bought on their mall run. “How did I miss you buying that one?”
He looked down at the red S emblazoned on his chest and grinned back at her. “What were you expecting? Care Bears?”
She walked over to him, reveling a little in the proprietary buzz she got from knowing she was welcome in his personal space, and, in fact, encouraged to spend as much time there as she wanted. She wanted.
The Black Sheep and the Princess Page 27
