by S M Mala
‘I’ll see what I can do,’ she sighed and crawled up on his back, putting her arms around him. ‘We do need to talk about you.’
He lay there, enjoying the warmth of her body and closed his eyes. Sylvie’s breath was against his skin and he didn’t want to move. For a long time he thought about this moment, being with her and he knew if he said anything else, she’d think he was bullshitting.
‘We’ll take it slowly, but not too slowly,’ he said quietly. ‘I need to officially sort out the divorce but I need access to James. She said she’d move over to London but I’m not sure she will, so I’ll have to travel back and forth for the time being.’
‘Oh,’ he heard her say then felt her swallow. ‘You’re serious then?’
He turned around to face her as she pushed him on his back and straddled his hips, with a sheet firmly wrapped around her body. Sylvie didn’t look convinced as he reached out and stroked her arse through the material. For a moment he thought she mumbled something.
‘Speak up,’ he said as she swallowed hard.
‘Don’t make a mistake on this and lose your child, Finlay, because that would be really bad. You need to do this properly without hurting Juliette or baby James.’ He smiled, seeing her serious stare. ‘You went back to her knowing she committed adultery and had an affair, so you sort of forgave her. Now you’re the one screwing someone else and that might land you in some shit.’
Finlay grinned and remembered the days when he thought about her being in the same position as she was sitting now, realising he felt very happy for the first time in ages.
Something was right and it was straddling him.
‘Are you still going to sleep with Juliette?’ she asked and he laughed out loudly before realising she meant the question. ‘I need to know.’
‘No Sylvie, I wouldn’t do that. As much as you think I’m a prick that’s not what I do. I’m very loyal. In all the time we’ve been together, off and on, I was never with her so I did nothing wrong.’ He watched her smile. ‘And it goes without saying you’re not going to sleep, let alone go out, with anyone else.’
‘And Daisy? There’s a nine year old girl involved so we have to be careful. Call me old fashioned but I’d rather you didn’t stay over just-.’ Sylvie burst out laughing as he frowned but was having a problem to stop smiling. ‘You’ll never come round will you, to my council abode? Oh well, then that’s not a problem!’
‘You’re just so rude,’ he laughed. ‘I’m serious about you and me, you know that. This isn’t a fling, this is much more than that.’
Hanging her head down for a moment, he knew something was up as she eventually leaned closer to him and peered into his eyes, as he gently grabbed her face.
‘Do you want me to list out again what’s wrong with the pair of us getting together or do you understand?’
‘I understand,’ he replied. ‘Do you understand I don’t care?’
‘I care.’
Finlay sat up and she wrapped her legs around his back as he nuzzled in her warm neck. He sat there for a moment, feeling safe and didn’t want to move as she caressed his shoulders, and he could feel her lips on his skin.
‘I care that you’re not thinking straight and might change your mind again,’ she whispered, as he held her tightly. ‘Oh Finlay, what if you do? There’s a big probability you’ll meet someone else and dump me. I’m the rebound, I’m the-.’
He leaned forward and kissed her with as much passion as he could summon, seeing the real person who needed to truly understand how he felt about her was the actual woman he’d fallen in love with. Eventually he pulled away to give her some air as she smiled for a moment.
‘I’ll tell you every moment how I feel but there’s one rule we have to abide by, we can’t mix this with business. When it comes to that, I will have to be ruthless,’ he said, pushing her hair away from her face and kissing her cheeks. ‘That’s my job.’
‘So it’s either your wife’s business or mine?’
‘It won’t be personal, it’ll be practical.’
‘I’m going to get fucked that’s what you really mean!’ she laughed out loudly.
‘I’m certainly going to do that to you again, mark my words.’
Fifty five
They waited in the pub as she checked Daisy’s face knowing how nervous she felt about this meeting. Finlay had been back to France and she’d not seen him in four days. It made Sylvie twitch to know he might have changed his mind and, even though she spoke to him every day, it became increasingly evident she was scared to lose him.
‘Is Toby coming?’ asked Daisy as she got out her tablet and switched it on.
‘Just Finlay.’
‘Didn’t you go out to dinner with him a couple of weeks ago?’ she asked, not diverting her eyes.
‘Yes, I did,’ she replied, knowing they hadn’t made it to the restaurant and spent the evening in his bed. ‘It was very nice. Don’t you like Finlay?’ Sylvie watched her daughter look at her from the side and felt awkward asking. ‘It’s okay if you don’t.’
‘He’s nice but he’s not as funny as Toby,’ she eventually replied. ‘And I don’t know him that well.’
‘I like him,’ she said and cleared her throat a moment. ‘We get on very well.’
‘You didn’t like him at first, you said.’
‘I know but things change and he’s really a lovely person,’ she sighed, hoping he’d turn up soon. ‘Isn’t this fun going out to dinner on a Sunday evening? You still have to go to bed by eight.’
‘But mummy!’
‘This is a special treat,’ she smiled and noticed people walking around in the early summer sunshine.
Composing herself for a second, she cleared her throat again.
‘Have you got a cold?’ her daughter asked as Sylvie felt her sweaty palms.
‘Daisy, I need to tell you something and I hope you don’t mind,’ she said anxiously. ‘You see, about Finlay. Him and-.’
‘There he is!’ she said, dropping her tablet and waving.
Sylvie let out frustrated sigh before turning to see him walk towards them. Her heart leapt into her mouth when she realised he looked absolutely gobsmacking gorgeous. There was a whimpering whistling through her throat, knowing she’d never have the guts to tell her daughter the truth… just yet.
‘Hello there,’ he said, reaching the table, grinning from ear to ear. Finlay put out his hand as Daisy put out hers and he kissed it. ‘Lovely to see you again Miss Daisy Mather Harvey.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied, not sure what to do then looked at her mother with a stumped expression.
‘And you,’ Finlay said, turning to Sylvie and taking her hand. ‘Lovely to see you.’
‘Pleasure’s all mine,’ she laughed before seeing her daughter look at the pair of them. ‘How was your trip?’
‘Fine, fine,’ he said, smiling at Daisy all the time. ‘Is this a good place to eat?’
‘Mummy said you’d been here before,’ she replied and Sylvie noticed how her daughter was looking at him.
It wasn’t the same as she did with Toby, which was more of a friend, but the look seemed curious.
‘You don’t mind Finlay joining us?’ Sylvie asked, worried her daughter might not like the idea now he was sitting in front of them. ‘He’s quite nice.’
‘I’m very nice,’ he laughed and Daisy smiled. ‘Though I’m starving and I could eat everything on this menu.’ His smile was so inviting and friendly, it made Daisy grin back. ‘Anything you recommend?’
‘Well it does really good chips and I usually have fish and chips but I can’t eat it all so sometimes I share with mummy. If you like roast, they do one with a really large Yorkshire pudding. And their desserts are really good too.’
‘Have you had a good weekend?’ he asked, glancing at the menu. ‘Did you do anything exciting?’
‘I went to class yesterday then we went to Kew Gardens and today it was the school’s car boot sale so we had a look th
ere,’ her daughter replied, carefully putting her tablet away. ‘Did you go and see your son? He’s called James, isn’t he mummy?’
‘Ah baby James is gorgeous,’ Finlay sighed and put down his menu. ‘The nappies are endless but he seems happy, well who could blame him, he’s surrounded by women.’
‘Can I see a picture?’ the child asked and Finlay smiled, before finding something on his phone and handing it over. ‘He’s really sweet! Mummy have a look.’
Daisy held out the phone and there was a picture of Finlay and his baby.
Something twisted in Sylvie’s gut knowing he should be with his son.
‘Don’t you miss him?’ Daisy asked, her eyes wide open in anticipation. ‘Can’t you and your wife move to London so you don’t have to be apart?’
‘All these questions Daisy boo,’ laughed Sylvie seeing Finlay flinch before smiling. ‘I’m sure-.’
‘They’re coming to London in a few weeks. I have to find them a house,’ he quickly mumbled as Sylvie had a masking smile to hide her surprise. ‘I want to be with James and she’s willing to move.’
‘Then you can live as a family,’ pronounced her child.
For a moment he didn’t say anything but glanced at Sylvie before smiling at Daisy.
‘That’s going to be a little difficult because I won’t be living with them,’ he quietly replied. ‘You see I’ve split up from my wife and-.’
‘You’re not going to get a divorce?’ Daisy uttered in horror. ‘Some of the kids from divorced parents are really unhappy at school, aren’t they mummy? And grandma divorced your dad and she said marrying him was the biggest mistake of her life.’
‘Daisy!’ Sylvie said as Finlay started to laugh. ‘You shouldn’t go repeating what she says!’
‘But she told me.’ Daisy scowled for a moment. ‘Don’t you love your wife?’
‘She doesn’t love me and I was unhappy about it but now I’m happy,’ he said cheerfully. ‘I intend to make sure I’m there for my son, I won’t abandon him.’
‘Oh.’ Her daughter sat there in deep thought. ‘Why doesn’t she love you? What did you do? Does she like someone else?’
‘Daisy enough questions.’ Sylvie turned to Finlay. ‘Let me get you a drink. What do you want?’
‘A pint of anything,’ he smiled as she got up and walked towards the bar, dreading what her daughter was going to enquire on next.
She ordered another glass of wine for herself before getting his pint and walking back.
Now the pair were laughing out loudly. There was this banging doubt she didn’t know what to do about all three of them being together, what to say and any mention of her seeing Finlay would have to stay quiet.
‘There you go,’ she said and sat back down.
‘I was just telling Daisy about Toby when he was little. How he was such a fat chap I used to just roll him from room to room and he loved it!’ he laughed and Sylvie felt him touch her thigh gently before pulling away. ‘He was a cute baby, still is. You know what? Let’s order!’
While they laughed, he smiled at the woman he loved and her daughter. He missed Sylvie more than he could have imagined but it equally hurt him to leave his baby.
That was a feeling he’d not properly experienced as James was now smiling and turning into an adorable little boy.
Sylvie had been nervous and he knew she was worried about telling Daisy about them. Finlay gauged it would be too much for the nine year old to take in and realised it’d have to be a very gentle transition.
‘Finlay, may I ask you another question, if you don’t mind, and mummy I’m not being rude,’ Daisy said, holding on to her spoon waiting for her bowl of ice cream. ‘But why doesn’t your wife love you?’
‘Daisy!’ Sylvie said and he gently touched her hand noticing she was a little stressed.
‘That’s okay,’ he replied, leaning forward towards Daisy. ‘The reason she doesn’t love me is because she fell in love with someone else but this man, well he didn’t love her the same way she loved him. And to me, if you love someone else then you can’t be happy with the person you’re with.’
‘That’s sad,’ she said and he noticed Daisy looking at her mother. ‘As you still love daddy then you won’t love anyone else, will you?’
Finlay watched the shock on Sylvie’s face as she glanced down and couldn’t speak.
‘Why’s that?’ he asked, trying to cover for her mother’s sudden lack of conversation.
‘Because mummy will always love daddy and she can’t love anyone else.’
‘But do you think your mummy should be alone, not find someone who loves her and wants to make her happy?’ Finlay watched the little girl grimace for a moment. ‘She will always love your daddy and that’s a very important part of her life, but your mummy can fall in love with someone new and maybe, just maybe you might like them.’
He heard Sylvie let out an uncomfortable sigh before he turned to see the grave look of concern towards her daughter.
‘If she fell in love with Toby then that would be a bit strange,’ Daisy said and started to blush. ‘I wouldn’t be too happy.’
‘Why not?’ he asked, sitting back in his seat wondering if the kid had an inkling of what was going on. ‘Don’t you like him?’
‘I like him very much!’ she replied loudly and the look said it all.
The little girl had a crush on his little brother.
Daisy then turned scarlet as Sylvie put her arms around her and gave her a massive hug.
‘No, no mummy! I can see the ice cream!’ Then she pushed Sylvie away. ‘It’s coming! See! It’s really big!’
‘Daisy,’ Sylvie said and Finlay watched her discreetly wipe the little sweat that had broken out on her nose. ‘I might meet someone but it will take time and I just want you to know that it would never change how I feel about your daddy. It’s just sometimes…’ She glanced at him and smiled. ‘You meet someone in the most extraordinary of circumstances and it’s kind of… amazing.’
He grinned realising Daisy hadn’t heard a word of what Sylvie had said as she tucked into her desert. Sylvie turned to face him as he felt something stir in his heart.
‘Are you going to find them a house close to yours,’ Sylvie immediately asked as he let out a little sigh. ‘What did Juliette say?’
‘She sort of has no choice as I have to sell the apartment because the debts are pretty bad and it seems the most intelligent thing to do.’
‘How bad?’
‘My mother won’t help the company out and no one knows where all the cash has gone. Juliette won’t say much and I feel responsible because I was supposed to be keeping an eye on everything and this has been going on for over a year.’
He put his face in his hands as he felt her rub his back, then peeked at Daisy through his fingers. She was watching but didn’t seem too concerned though more intrigued.
‘Let’s change the subject,’ he said, removing his hands and smiling at the little girl. ‘Things will sort themselves out.’
‘What if they don’t?’ Daisy said brightly. ‘Sometimes things never sort out like mummy and daddy’s mum. They haven’t sorted anything.’
‘Daisy why say that now?’ asked Sylvie and he noticed the strained smile. ‘We shouldn’t be talking about her.’
‘You’re not friends.’
‘She’s a shit,’ blurted out Sylvie as Finlay laughed.
‘Mummy you swore!’
‘Well that’s because she is a shit!’
‘Sylvie speak nicely,’ Finlay said gently as Daisy’s looked at her mother as if she was misbehaving. ‘You’re right Daisy, it might not sort itself out but from the whole sad situation I’ve made a few new friends, your mother and yourself included, so it’s not all that bad.’
‘Mummy said you didn’t like her when you first met.’
‘Well I certainly like her now,’ he grinned as Sylvie fanned herself with the menu, and he could see she was getting embarrassed.
‘Th
at’s good because I like mummy too, when she’s not swearing that is!’
They walked down the road after dinner and within five minutes they were outside the block of flats he could barely remember.
‘The station’s down there,’ Sylvie said as he grinned at her for a moment while she held her daughter’s hand. ‘But you’re welcome to come in for a cup of coffee or tea, or something stronger.’
He stood there smiling at the pretty girls and realised she thought he’d run away. Slowly, his eyes wandered and he noticed the very large trees outside the block of four storey high flats.
‘Or you could stay the night? Toby does,’ Daisy said, looking up at her mother. ‘Finlay can stay in the back room but we’ll have to shut the window so he doesn’t hear the trains.’
Sylvie was laughing to herself and he grinned.
‘I’d love to stay,’ he replied and watched the smirk wiped off Sylvie’s face. ‘And I like trains.’
‘Seriously?’ Sylvie asked as she looked at him in utter confusion. ‘Finlay, it can be quite noisy and-.’
‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t want your neighbours to see me,’ he laughed out loudly, grabbed Daisy’s hand and walked towards the main entrance door. ‘Are you going to let me in?’
A few minutes later he was standing in the living room, jacket and shoes removed, looking at the pictures. It hit him hard that she had actually been married to Rupert Harvey. There were a few wedding pictures as well as an assortment of them as a family.
‘Here you go,’ she said, handing him a glass of red wine as he stared hard at a picture of Rupert and Sylvie hugging against the backdrop of hills.
They looked very happy.
And in love.
‘Daisy thinks I was in her tummy at that time but I was just fat!’ she laughed and looked up at him. ‘I had to lose a stone to get pregnant but soon put it back on.’
He didn’t know what to say.
It was real.
