"Talk to me," said Evan.
I sniffled into his chest, "I can't."
"I have no idea what you said. Come inside." Without waiting for my consent, he propelled me away from the corridor. A door banged and I had to push away from him to see where I was. Somehow, I ended up on the residential floor in what looked like Evan's room. His sweater hung over the desk chair and a laptop was open on the desk. A cup of water and a novel were on the nightstand. "What's going on?" he asked, firmly holding onto me.
My heavy breathing subsided, but exhaustion still consumed me. "I think I had a panic attack."
"I can see that. I sensed you. That’s why I came to look for you."
"You did?"
"I could feel your anguish. Did something happen? Did you remember something?"
I shook my head as I searched my pockets for a tissue. Evan held out one to me and I took it, wiping my eyes. "That's the problem. I don't remember anything beyond what Lisette pulled out of my head. All I have is this crushing feeling of guilt for all the poor souls I left behind."
"You didn't leave them. You went to get help."
"There hasn't been a single report of anyone escaping. No one but me. I should have stayed and helped them. "
"No, you shouldn't have. You could have been recaptured, and never gotten another opportunity. By escaping, you gave the other captives a small glimpse of hope."
"Hope? I was supposed to return with help. I didn't; and now they've all been moved. We don't even know if any of them is still alive."
"No, we don't, but we didn't find any bodies when we searched the warehouse, so we have to assume they're somewhere. If The Brotherhood went to the effort of capturing them in the first place, they must have had a reason. They'll remain alive until their purpose is served." I gaped at Evan, appalled at the sentence he spelled out. "Don't look at me like that," he said, "you've misinterpreted. I can feel your emotions, remember? We'll get there before that day happens."
"Étoile sent out another team. I saw them leave."
"Is that what set this attack off?" he asked, somewhat gentler this time.
I nodded, but remained mute.
"The only reason I'm not with them is because I'm of more use here right now." Evan released me, walking to the loveseat in the corner of the room. He moved the clothes draped over the edge and indicated I should sit. After putting his clothes away in the closet, he sat next to me, taking my hand. I curled my fingers around his, relishing the familiarity. I missed the closeness we once shared. We were developing a good friendship, or at least, we were until Auberon stole those weeks from my life; but I couldn't recall any other friend whose hand I wanted to hold more than his. The thought was puzzling, and I had to push it to the back of my mind. I couldn't even begin to think about Evan and our friendship, nor the peace I got by simply holding his hand, not when there was so much more at stake.
"Sorry for freaking out. They probably assume I've gone nuts with some sort of Brotherhood side effect," I said, waving my hand in the general direction of the room I just fled from.
Evan laughed, a deep, throaty sound. "Maybe."
"They're already so worried about me, and now, I just gave them something to really have cause to worry about!"
"They know you've been through a hard time. Getting upset is part of recovery. You endured a stressful, traumatic ordeal. They would be surprised if you didn't break down."
"You make it all sound normal. Nothing that I've been through, or think I've been through, is normal."
"No, it isn't. Most people don't survive being kidnapped, let alone, having their power depleted, or needing to regain their magic. But you're not a normal person. You're a witch, and you have emotions just like anyone else. You don't have to feel guilty about feeling afraid, worried, or upset or vulnerable. It's natural to feel all those things."
"You're never afraid."
Evan laughed again. "Stella, you have no idea." He paused, but his fingers tightened. "Every day you were gone, I went crazy with worry about you. I was afraid you were dead, but I refused to believe you actually were. Every day I experienced fear, hope, confusion, and hopelessness. Those were the worst two months of my life."
We sat silently, both of us absorbing his candid admission. "I didn't know."
"There's a lot of stuff you don't know."
"Apparently. Including my own memories."
"Give yourself time. You went through a trauma."
"We're going to war. There’s no time to nurse a trauma. Every minute that I don't remember... and fail to find the people I left behind, is a minute too late."
"Stop that right now! You cannot wallow in this. Stella, listen to me. You escaped. Calling me was your best and only hope. There's not a single thing you could or should have done differently. If you hadn't escaped, I would never have found you; and those people you left behind – only because you had to! – never had a chance."
"I..."
"Stop questioning yourself! What's done is done! You can't change it no matter how much you blame and beat yourself up about it. Focus on the future now. Think about what you can do to help."
"I am!"
"Are you? Are you really?"
"Étoile asked me to research something that might end this war."
Evan raised his eyebrows. Somehow, I didn't think Étoile included him in the people I shouldn’t tell. Evan might have been half-demon, but he'd always been an ally, even if only Étoile knew it. "Should I ask what it is?"
"She didn't tell you?"
"You know as well as I do she doesn't tell anyone everything. We all get pieces of the pie, but never the whole deal. It's the way Étoile works."
"What are you supposed to be doing for her?" I asked. I chose to change the topic. "You didn't go out with the search party, and as far as I remember, you're no longer a part of the demon ambassadors."
"Ambassadors." Evan laughed, apparently finding it humorous. "That's a nice way of putting it. No, I didn't go out on today's search. I think I exhausted my usefulness when I aided the other searches. I'm here because the demons asked me to liaise with Étoile regarding our contribution to eradicating The Brotherhood."
"So you're working for them now?" I asked, surprised. I always believed Evan wanted little to do with his paternal race.
"No. I'm a middleman. I can liaise when necessary. It's a role I happily accept for now. I can still operate my business from here and I want to stay here."
"It sounds like they'll keep you pretty busy."
"Not too busy. I have time for you. I always have time for you, and anything you need."
I paused, unsure what he meant by that. Long ago, I decided to never try and read a man's brain. That way, I never assume I know what’s going on inside his head. With my heart rate increasing, I asked, "What does that mean?"
"It means, if you need me, I'm here." Before I could ask what that meant, he continued, "When we finished your training, you were ready to look after yourself. War is something different. We never trained you for that. Few are prepared for that. I am."
"And I'm not?" I asked.
"No, you're not. You're powerful, but you're not a soldier. You need proper training."
"And you have the time?" I guessed. Of course, he didn't mean he was making more time especially for me. Despite our fingers still being entwined, he wanted to keep me safe. That's what friends did. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I flushed at my misinterpretation. That, and a strange sense of disappointment.
"I have the time, but we don't have long."
I had to swallow my pride. Evan was right; I wasn't a soldier and I definitely wasn't ready. We were headed to war and Étoile's task was merely the beginning. Evan was first introduced to me as a mentor. He guided and redirected the most innate parts of my magic, enabling me to learn how to control myself. Our relationship started back then and now, looking back, I wondered how much the change in our relationship assisted my relaxation into magic. True, Evan gave me confidence, and
our relationship still continued long after he ceased being my mentor. Despite my embarrassment at the misinterpretation of his offer, I had to admit I needed the help, and he was the best person to give it. "Thank you," I said, keeping it simple. I dared not embarrass myself further. "I appreciate the offer."
"No problem. I have some work to do and I know you do too. We can talk later about how to figure this out."
"I need to go," I said, standing, and ignoring his hand to help me to my feet. Astra and Seren were waiting for me, along with Daniel. Ariadne had probably returned from lunch by now. They were, no doubt, worried about me and my sudden exit. I only realised our other hands were clasped together again when a tug stopped me moving any further. Blushing with embarrassment, I slipped my hand from his. People who worked together, and were just friends, did not hold hands. "You're right. Everyone is waiting for me. Thank you, Evan. Really. I appreciate it."
"I didn't do anything."
"You were there at the right moment."
"Like I said, any time."
"And thank you for being my friend," I blurted out, suddenly self-conscious.
I moved to the door, thoroughly aware of Evan at my back. Pulling the door open, I turned to him, but found myself unable to speak. I didn't need to as he pressed me against him in a hug that soon rendered my muscles to jelly. He always had that effect on me; something I would need to keep in check for our friendship to continue.
But what he whispered in my ear as we parted threw everything I just decided into disarray.
Chapter Seven
"Hello?" The voice at the end of the line was one I hadn't heard in a long time. "Hello?" she said again, "Who is this?"
"It's Stella. Stella Mayweather," I replied. There was a long pause during which I wondered if she would slam the phone down, but instead, she surprised me by saying, "Ohmygosh! It's been so long. How are you? I heard what happened. Are you okay?"
Chyler was right; it had been a long time. When I first met her, she was a terrified teenage runaway, and the target of a particularly malicious, now dead witch named Dina. Dina wanted to return to the living and was promised Chyler's body by Georgia Thomas, only neither of them ever expected Chyler would fight for her survival. Back then, my own life was still in turmoil. Although I found a home and a life in the little town of Wilding, I believed many of my friends might have been dead after our safe house was attacked. I had no idea where Evan was, and grieved incessantly. When he found me, he changed my life again. Later on, we also changed Chyler's life too, by giving her the normalcy she craved.
"I wasn't sure if you'd remember me," I faltered, feeling awkward. I called not to ask about her wellbeing, but to request a favour. Learning that Chyler had clearly kept track of me was both puzzling and heartwarming; but I wondered what she knew about my captivity.
"How could I ever forget? You saved my life when I had nowhere else to turn. You gave me a normal existence so I could go on to college and just be an average kid for a while. I owe you big time!"
I smiled, pleased to hear how glad she sounded. "You don't owe me a thing."
"I do. I seriously do. You know, I'm making the trip to the city in a few weeks. Maybe we could meet up? It would be great to talk to you again."
"I'd like that," I replied, hoping there would be a city to visit in a few weeks time, if we were still alive. The Brotherhood war would undoubtedly have casualties. I was sure I wasn't the only one to whom that idea occurred, but no one admitted having any worries so far. I got the impression my friends all felt the war was justified; and it was hard to argue with that.
"I've been meaning to reach out to you anyway, so I'm pleased you called, but I... I don't want to be impolite, but this isn't a social call, is it?"
I hesitated, wondering if I made a faux pas, or Chyler had simply become more astute since I last saw her. "No, it isn't," I admitted, grateful for the segue to my request. "Actually, I need your help."
"I knew it! The book appeared in my dorm a week ago and has not stopped."
"Not stopped what?"
Chyler laughed. "I guess you could say 'bothering' me. It keeps showing me pages that I can't make sense of, but one of the pictures it drew was definitely you. And now you're on the phone!"
"Really? It drew a picture of me?"
"You know, the book likes you. It always has. It keeps showing me a picture of you; and sometimes, you're wrapped up in magic. At first, I thought it was a whirlwind, but that didn't make sense, then I realised it was magic. I was trying to decide whether to tell someone else, when I heard you were found. Then I thought about calling you to tell you about it, and you called me. Weird, huh?"
I wanted to tell her that a book could not like me, but from my limited knowledge of her family horologican, it almost made sense. The book did decide who could use it, and had presented itself to me. It gave me an opportunity to learn past spells as well as new things, as it appeared to write itself. Simply translated, horologican means the book of everything and that's exactly what it seemed to be. Even more interesting was how the book always knew exactly what I wanted even before I knew it. With such powers, it was no surprise when I discovered the demon, Irina, searching for one. Thankfully, she never found it before being banished to who-knows-what punishment. That was a relief. Wrapped up in that was the guilty thought that I wished ill of her partly because of her fling with Evan. Thoughts like that didn't make me feel very good, but they did remind me that I was human.
"I need to talk to you about the book."
"I knew it! I can bring it with me when I visit."
"I appreciate that, but I can't wait. It's really important, Chyler. Can you bring it any earlier? Or I could come and get it from you?" I was fairly sure Étoile's limitations on my movements wouldn't apply to bringing the horologican to The Amethyst. I had to see it, and it was far away.
"I'll need to get another train ticket as well as permission from my tutor to miss a few classes. Maybe the day after tomorrow? If I could shimmer like you, it would be no problem! If I weren't bound..." I recognised the pause in her voice; she was regretting her decision. I wondered if that was why she hesitated in calling me. She couldn't ask a favour from someone who'd just been kidnapped. It wouldn't have been polite. But since I called her... "Are you regretting your decision?" I asked.
"No. Yes. No! Maybe... I think so. When you bound me, it was the right decision. I wanted to be normal. I needed to be normal and I couldn't do that when I was a witch. I got the normal life I wanted, but a part of me still misses the things I could do before. I've had a lot of therapy for what happened to me, and to help me deal with what happened to my mom, and I've found some peace; but I'm still missing a big part of who I was, and I think it's time to find out. I've been thinking about it a lot, especially with all the rumours flying around."
"What have you heard?" I asked, imagining the brewing war.
"Plenty. I keep in touch with the community, mostly via my aunts. So it's true?" Chyler continued, "Did Étoile Winterstorm really declare war?"
"She and the High Council."
"Then I want my magic back. I'm part of this."
"No, you're not. You're in college."
"I became part of this when those bitches thought they could steal my body. Unbind my magic and I'll loan you the horologican."
"I'll unbind you anyway," I told her.
Chyler laughed. "And I’ll give you the horologican regardless."
I told her I'd let her know the arrangements. I would either bring her to the city, or I’d go to her, and we said our goodbyes. I favoured the latter option, and not just because it seemed a lot safer for Chyler. I admired her determination to contribute to the war effort, but I knew well enough that an untried witch could also be a liability. I wasn't even sure Étoile would want her involvement. I had no authority to insist one way or the other where Chyler was concerned. As I pondered how to get to Chyler without taking an entourage with me, or sending an emissary, I moved around my new r
oom. I was checking out the bathroom, then turning around, I noted someone left my phone on the console and my suitcase on the case rack, next to the loveseat. Finally, I stopped to survey the view over the city. My thoughts were too full, however, to enjoy the vista.
Taking an entourage would be sensible for my own protection, but I didn't want my every move being watched like I was a danger to myself or others. Sending an emissary had even more pitfalls. Not only would they have to shimmer in and out swiftly to collect the horologican and return with it, but I would also have to find someone I could trust implicitly. Besides Étoile, the only other person I could think of to perform such a task was Evan. I tried hard to keep him off my mind since his parting words.
What did he mean by saying I didn't misinterpret him? Was that how he felt? I was fairly sure I didn't say anything out loud that suggested I misinterpreted something he said or did; so he had to have plucked some stray thought from my mind. It was confusing. Men were confusing. I wanted the luxury of time to be alone and work it out, but there was no time. My task was too important. I needed the horologican, and it was the only thing I could think of now. With no other leads, perhaps it could be the key to finding the other talismans. That Chyler seemed to think it was waiting for me was very positive. It meant one thing: I had to push aside my confused feelings and appeal for help from the one person who could absolutely protect me, and also shimmer almost like I could.
Sighing, I picked up my phone and hit speed dial. "I need your help," I said when Evan answered the other end.
"What happened?" he asked, immediately on high alert.
Endless Magic (Stella Mayweather Series Book 6) Page 7
