That’s exactly how she felt, but the fact that he had put it into words annoyed her. “And what about you?”
“I’m going to disappear for a while. No hiding what I’m feeling.”
No, and he was giving out sexual vibrations so strong that she was beginning to feel that same stirring just looking at him.
“It’s okay.” The anger was suddenly gone from his tone. “You’ll work your way through it. Now you know how I feel about 90 percent of the time I’m with you. Being alive has its disadvantages.”
“Staying away from you would also have advantages.”
“But how can you do it? I’ve suddenly developed a fascination for this lake. I believe I’ll have to offer my services to MacDuff at every turn.” He waved at Eve as they neared the campground. “Don’t you think that everyone will think I’ve turned over a new and noble leaf?”
“I think that I’m going to work like hell to get MacDuff what he wants and get out of here.”
“I thought that would be your reaction.” He wasn’t looking at her but at the mist that floated ghostlike in the darkness of the far bank. “But it’s a strange place, a strange time. I felt it the first time I saw it. I wasn’t surprised that you had dreamed about it.” He added softly, “Will you ever be able to get out, Jane?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
He chuckled. “Don’t slap me down when I’m being mystical. Of course you’ll get free because I’ll be there to pull you out. I wouldn’t let that mist take you any more than I would anyone or anything. I’ve devoted far too much effort to you. But I had you for a minute, didn’t I?”
“No, you did not.” It was the mist and the night and the thought of what lay beyond them that had shaken her for that long moment. “But you obviously need something to distract you.” And she had to find a way to get rid of him until her defenses were back in place.
She quickened her pace and passed him as she reached the bank. She called, “Sorry to be so long. Caleb is inclined to dawdle. But he says he’s willing to be taught, so maybe you and Jock can do the job, MacDuff. He’s bored, and he volunteered to go bring the rest of the equipment down himself.” She gave Caleb a glance over her shoulder. “He said it was the least he could do. Isn’t that right, Caleb?”
“I did mention something like that.” He was discarding the bedroll and lanterns, dropping them on the ground. “I’d almost forgotten.” He smiled at MacDuff. “I’m at your disposal. Anything you want, and I’m there for you and the rest of the team.” He didn’t look at Jane, but the next words were aimed at her and held a hint of mockery. “It will be interesting for me to work shoulder to shoulder, so to speak.”
* * *
When Eve woke the next morning, it was to see Cara sitting cross-legged beside her. She was fully dressed, with a steaming cup in her hand. “Hi.” She smiled. “I went out to the campfire and got a cup of coffee for you.” She carefully handed her the cup as Eve scooted up to a sitting position in her sleeping bag. “Jock is cooking bacon. Doesn’t it smell good?”
“Delicious.” She sipped the coffee. “And so is this coffee. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. If you want to wash up and brush your teeth, I’ll go get you some bottled water.”
“I believe I can do that for myself.”
“But you shouldn’t have to do it when I can do it for you. I should be taking care of you.”
Eve gazed at her warily. “Has Jane been talking to you?”
Cara looked bewildered. “What?”
“Just a thought.” She should have known that Jane wouldn’t tell Cara about the baby. It would have just worried the child. “Don’t tell me you dreamed about Jenny again.”
“No. But I promised I’d take care of you, and I haven’t been keeping my promise. I played the violin the other night when I shouldn’t, and I’ve been spending too much time with Jock. I should have been doing stuff for you.”
“No, you should not. You would have driven me crazy if you insisted on fetching and carrying for me. We discussed the playing and came to an agreement. And Jock would have sent you packing if you’d gotten into his way.”
“I’m not sure he would,” she said gravely. “He … likes me. He wouldn’t want to hurt me. So I have to watch out to make sure that I don’t do anything that would be bad for him.”
“So you’re carrying the whole responsibility on your shoulders?” She shook her head. “For heaven’s sake, Cara, be a kid for a change. Let yourself enjoy every minute you can. There’s sure not many of those. Anything I do for you, I want to do. You don’t owe me.”
“Yes, I do.” She suddenly smiled. “But I won’t fetch and carry if you don’t want me to do it. But was it all right that I brought you coffee?”
“Extremely all right.” She took another sip of coffee and sighed blissfully. “As long as you let me do something for you in return.”
“But that wouldn’t be—” She stopped. “There is something that—” She stopped again.
“You want to play your violin? I never meant to keep you from doing that, Cara.”
“I know.” She moistened her lips. “It’s not that, I was just thinking I’d like to—I couldn’t sleep, so I opened the door and sat there for a while looking out at the lake.” She added quickly, “I didn’t go outside. I just sat there. I was just wondering if I could—”
“Cara.”
“You said not to go beyond the mists on that north bank without you,” she said in a rush. “I really would like to go there, Eve.”
“I don’t see why that wouldn’t be possible. It’s probably going to be fairly safe once MacDuff gets those lights he ordered.”
Cara was shaking her head. “I want to go now. MacDuff and Jock were talking about the shipment of lights while Jock was cooking, and they should be here later in the day. Could we go before they get here?”
“You’re that impatient?” Eve asked, puzzled.
She shook her head. “I started getting scared last night while I was looking at it. First, I was sitting there, and I felt … good. It was beautiful, like I said when I first saw it. And I thought whatever was behind that mist must be beautiful, too. But then I began to think of the forest, where Jenny died. That was beautiful, too, but it hid ugly things.”
“That didn’t change the beauty,” Eve said gently. “Sometimes ugliness exists side by side with beauty. Jenny gave her life for you in that forest and that was beautiful, too.”
“I know,” she whispered. “But it still hurts me to think of it. I remember how scared I was when she ran away from Elena and me. I began to get scared again last night when I was thinking of it. It sort of got mixed up in my head with the mist.” She shook her head. “I can’t be scared any longer, Eve. All my life I’ve been afraid, and I can’t live like—” She reached out and touched Eve’s hand. “I have to face it, Eve. I can’t hide away from it. Will you help me?”
Help her? Eve felt a melting inside her as she gazed at this child who had lived a life of fear and death since she was a toddler. She wanted to take away that fear, shoulder the pain of those memories. But that wasn’t what Cara was asking of her. She was asking her to show her how to handle the fear without flinching. And that would be a much harder task. “I’ll help you. Of course I’ll help you.”
“Thank you.” Cara suddenly launched herself at Eve and her arms closed tightly around her. “Thank you.”
Eve froze in shock. Cara was not given to physical demonstrations, and Eve had told herself that it might be a long time before she was comfortable with any kind of affectionate gestures.
Don’t question.
Accept.
She carefully put her coffee down and held Cara close. She was aware of the slightest stiffening but ignored it. Cara had made the first move. “You’re welcome.” She brushed a kiss on her temple. “I consider it a family obligation. But you’ll have to let me know what I have to do. I’m a little confused about what you need from me.”
&nbs
p; Enough. Don’t push it. Back away.
She let Cara go and picked up her coffee cup again. “So you need to go to the north bank? Why can’t we wait for MacDuff’s super-duper lights?”
“Because it would change what’s there. It would be like wearing a bulletproof vest. I wouldn’t be facing what I’m afraid of at all. Do you see what I mean?”
“I think I do. Though a bulletproof vest doesn’t sound that bad to me.” But she suddenly realized that Jane would understand what Cara was saying. “Without the mist it loses … integrity?”
Cara nodded eagerly. “I know MacDuff has to have those lights to find what he’s looking for, but he’d be losing something, too.” Her smile faded. “Right now there’s a music to it. When you shine the lights, and the mist vanishes, will the music go, too?”
What could she tell her? Eve couldn’t hear the music. “I don’t know, Cara.”
“I think it might. I want to face it all now.” She paused. “With you, Eve. I don’t want anyone else along.”
Face the fear, face the beauty, with no protection, no raising of barriers. Wasn’t that what Cira had done all those centuries ago when she had challenged a new land, a new life?
“Eve?” Cara was gazing at her.
Eve nodded. “Okay, no bulletproof vests,” she said brusquely. “But it’s not going to be easy pulling this off.” She finished her coffee and got to her feet. “And we’d better get busy before MacTavish’s truckload of lights and batteries comes rumbling down that road.”
Cara eagerly jumped to her feet. “What are we going to do?”
“Finish getting dressed, eat breakfast, then go face MacDuff, Jock, and Caleb.”
“I didn’t see Caleb.”
“Not surprising. He’s not into hobnobbing. Jane?”
“She’s still in her tent.” Cara’s eyes widened as she saw Eve reach into her suitcase and draw out her .38 revolver. “Why are you taking that? I was joking about the bulletproof vests. I meant—”
“I know what you meant.” She tucked the gun into the pocket of her jacket but didn’t put it on. “But if I can persuade MacDuff to let us go into that mist without them trailing after us, I want all the protection I can get. He told me that he has five of his Marine buddies in those hills near the north bank keeping an eye out for trespassers, but I don’t want to have to count on them.” She grinned at Cara. “And I may need it to shoot off a distress signal if we get lost in that mist. Though I hope not. It would be most humiliating.”
Cara’s gaze was still on the pocket into which the gun had disappeared. “I don’t want to cause trouble. Am I being stupid, Eve?”
“No. There’s no sign of anyone’s knowing where we are, and MacDuff has given us adequate protection. The only danger is the mist, and, if we’re careful, we can handle that.” She grabbed her toothbrush and comb and headed for the portable canvas table against the tent wall. “But first I need to wash my face and brush my teeth. Go get us a plate of that bacon Jock is cooking and whatever else is available. Okay?”
“Okay.” Cara’s cheeks were flushed and her eyes shining with excitement. “Shall I tell them that—”
“No, leave it to me.” She didn’t want Cara to face the uproar alone. “After we have some hearty sustenance. We may need it. But first, I want you to go to Jane and tell her what we’re doing. In a very real way, this is her lake, her territory. She has the right to know.”
She shook her head ruefully after Cara ran out of the tent. It was true that there appeared to be no obvious danger, but that didn’t mean that it was the safest thing on the planet to do. But Cara’s problem was that she’d had to be careful, hide, always look behind her all her short life. How could Eve not understand and let her stop running if there didn’t appear to be danger?
Appear was the key word, she thought dryly. She didn’t know what was behind those mists.
With her luck, that north end of the lake was probably inhabited by a creature on the scale of the Loch Ness Monster.
* * *
When Eve and Cara left their tent fifteen minutes later, Jane was standing alone at the clearing, where only the embers of the campfire were still flickering.
“Let’s go,” she said quietly. “We don’t have too much time. It took me quite a battle with MacDuff and Jock to get them to back off. They gave us ninety minutes; and then we can expect an invasion. Less if that truck with the power lights shows up while we’re stumbling around out there.” She gave flashlights to Eve and Cara and turned on her heel. “Come on, Cara. It’s your show, you lead the way.”
“Right.” Cara started at a trot along the bank.
Eve fell into step with Jane as they hurried after her. “I didn’t want to force you into coming with us. But you had a right to know.”
“Yes, I did.” She smiled faintly. “And you didn’t force me to do anything. I don’t know how I feel about this little foray into Marcus’s kingdom, but I think there must be some reason Cara feels so strongly about it.”
“It’s not about Cira or Marcus or the treasure as far as she’s concerned. It’s about facing her devils.”
“She’s very young to have to confront them,” Jane said. “And, who knows, maybe it’s more about Cira and Marcus than she thinks. You told her the details about the dream?”
“Yes. I don’t know, maybe she’s somehow connecting Marcus’s death with her sister’s, Jenny’s. She said something about Jenny’s dying in a beautiful forest, too. She said she was too afraid that night, and she couldn’t be afraid again.” She glanced at Jane. “And you were close to her age when you had devils of your own to battle. So Cara isn’t all that young.”
“Young enough to be very fast. She’s getting too far ahead of us to be safe.” Jane’s pace quickened. “She’s entering the mist zone.”
“Cara,” Eve called. “Wait.” She could barely see her in the mist, but at least Cara had halted and turned on her flashlight. Not that it was doing much good. Even though they were on the outer edge of the fogbank, the light was very weak.
But Cara’s expression was glowing with eagerness as they reached her. “Isn’t it awesome?” She held up her arm cloaked in mist. “I feel as if I could fly.” She turned and started deeper into the mist. “Come on.”
“Stay close,” Eve said. “And don’t drop your flashlight.”
“I won’t.” Cara’s voice was bright, excited in the smothering gray of the mist as she moved ahead. “I was wrong, Eve. There’s nothing to be afraid of here. Oops.” She laughed. “I almost slid into the lake. It’s all muddy here on the bank. You warned me about that.”
“Yes, I did. The bank probably never gets enough sunlight to dry out. Be careful, the farther in we go, the denser the mist. These flashlights aren’t doing much good. I can’t see more than a foot in front of me.”
“Neither can I,” Cara said. “But that’s okay; as long as I watch the bank, I’ll be safe. Isn’t it neat? It’s like exploring our own private planet. I think there are some big rocks up ahead.” She stopped. “I think we can go around them, then come back to the lake.”
“How do you know there are rocks?”
“I hear the sound of the lake lapping against them, don’t you? And the mist blows against them in a different way…”
“No, I can’t say I hear that,” Eve said. “I don’t think those college students got much farther than this. This is a heavier mist than I’ve ever gone through. And I don’t see how they sketched as much as they did. Jane?”
“No, I don’t hear what she hears,” Jane said softly. “But I’m not afraid either, Eve. It’s … good here. I believe it’s okay to go a little farther.”
Eve hesitated, then started forward again.
There were boulders ahead, and they felt their way around them and were once more making their way around the lake.
Total grayness, no hint of light, the flashlights totally useless now.
“The hills come straight down to the lake up ahead,” Cara said.
“But I think the path around the lake widens there.”
“How do you know?”
“It just seems like it should,” Jane said simply. “Doesn’t it, Cara?”
Cara looked back at her. “Yes.”
“What’s going on?” Eve asked.
“I have no idea,” Jane said. “Tell us, Cara.”
“It’s the music. The music is so strong here. And it gets stronger up ahead.” She looked at Jane. “And you hear it, too, don’t you?”
“Not like you do. But I hear something. Words. Cira’s words.” She quoted softly, “I can ride down here from the castle and imagine him running out of the mist and telling me how he’d just been hiding and playing in the caves and had great adventures to tell me.” She added, “That has a music all its own, doesn’t it?”
Cara nodded slowly.
“And do you want to go farther and search out that other music right now? We could do it. Or do you think that you’ve been given what you were meant to have when you led us into this mist?”
Cara didn’t answer for a moment. “I want to go on.”
“Now?”
Cara was silent again. “No, not now. It’s enough.” She turned and headed back toward the boulders. “Let’s go back to the camp.”
“But not because you’re afraid,” Jane said. “That’s all gone?”
“Yes.” Cara’s voice drifted back to them. “That’s all gone…”
* * *
The truckload of power lamps and batteries that MacTavish had promised MacDuff didn’t arrive until late in the afternoon. By the time they were unloaded and taken down to the encampment, it was almost dark.
Eve sat down in front of the fire beside Jock and watched MacDuff and Caleb checking over two huge power bulbs. “You’re going out tonight?”
“Why not?” Jock lifted his cup of coffee to his lips. “We’ve got to experiment with the equipment. We might have to order something different. Though MacTavish seemed to think that it would be enough.”
Hide Away: An Eve Duncan Novel Page 22
