by Lily Foster
With that, Jake knocked and asked if everyone was decent before he came in. “Hi,” his expression was less edgy than it had been before. “The guys are just breaking for lunch. I wanted to see if I should get Kara out of your hair.”
“Stop talking about me like I’m a nuisance,” she snapped as she threw a spool of thread at him.
He put his hands up in surrender and laughed, “Sorry!”
“She can stay as long as she likes, Jake.”
“Actually, I have to go soon, Kasia. Looks like I’m becoming your replacement.”
“I don’t follow.”
“I’m babysitting for your nieces this afternoon. Any tips?”
I laughed at her. “Tie that beautiful hair up unless you want it to be braided into knots and do not let them handle scissors. They like to play hairdresser and believe me, they won’t think twice about cutting it off.”
She looked horrified. “They seem so sweet.”
“They are, but they take their beauty and fashion hard-core serious. And when they team up, they’re dangerous.”
Jake broke in, looking at Karolina, “So how did the dress thing go?”
She teased, “The dress thing? You mean the fitting? It was awesome! I felt like a young ingénue having an up and coming designer fit me for my movie premiere.”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Jesus, Kara, you’re so dramatic.”
We were all laughing then. As Kara got ready to leave, Caitlin made her way towards the door, “I’m going back downstairs to get a good look around again,” she looked to Jake, “I was too busy drooling over you before.”
Jake looked slightly horrified for a moment and Kara laughed as she breezed by him. He went to follow Kara but then turned back around to me as I was standing by the door. We were alone and my breath hitched when he looked at me with our faces only inches apart. I could smell him and I found myself breathing in deep to fill myself with that masculine scent. It was like breathing in a heady, desire-laced drug. My hand was on the doorknob and he covered it with one of his own. “No more, Kasia. No more trying to set me up with your friends. I don’t want any of them.” He lowered his gaze then and watched as he slid his hand off mine before he turned again and left.
I could barely catch my breath and just from that one touch, my entire body was heated, swollen, and needy. What was the matter with me?
I’d just convinced myself that I was committed to Dylan…so why did I feel like Jake owned me?
Dylan
Sunday was a success. I had them on the defensive now. Public opinion and the opinion of the union members were swaying. They’d lost control of their base. The governor had come out swinging in defense of his misguided policies and the union head was scrambling. They wanted a fight? Now they had one.
Monday we were behind closed doors all day, the four of us, the main players. Mike, Will, Gwen and I went out for drinks after our marathon day, to let off some steam. Tomorrow afternoon we were meeting with union officials at three and would be done only after the deal was hammered out. I’d told everyone not to come in until lunchtime tomorrow, as we could be in for a long week but, as is typical of the work hard-play hard crowd, they took that as an invitation to let the liquor flow.
Will was the first to bail at around midnight and Mike had some girl pressed into a corner with about a centimeter of space between them, last I saw. Did he really wonder why his wife complained about feeling ignored? That left me and Gwen. I was three, four whiskeys in by that time, never mind the wine that had flowed with dinner. Still, I managed to start in on the agenda I’d set concerning her. I was sitting on a barstool and while I wouldn’t say she was straddling me, my thigh was between her legs somewhat. “Listen, Gwen—”
“Please tell me you’re not doing this now. I knew it was coming but this week, Cole, really?”
I rolled my eyes. “What does it matter? We can’t see each other anymore, Gwen. I can’t do this anymore. She means a lot to me. I’m going to marry her.”
She took a step closer so that she was practically pressing my thigh against her center. Jeez, this girl needed to get off more than anyone I knew—more than Melanie, who held the world record in my opinion. “So marry her,” she whispered in my ear, “and fuck me, Cole. There’s no need to change our arrangement. Fuck me whenever you need me…whenever I need you.” Her gaze snapped up then and her tone changed. “Excuse me. Are you enjoying the performance, asshole?”
“Yep, you’re both very entertaining. I’m dying to know how this turns out. What’s it going to be, Cole?”
My throat was in my ass at that point. I knew before turning around that Kasia’s brother, Tomasz, was behind me. What was there to say?
Hi, what brings you to Chicago?
I gently pushed Gwen back and turned to face him. I was drunk and I was busted. That, as they say, was that. “Tom—”
“Forty-eight hours, asshole. That’s how much time you have to tell Kasia about this before I do.”
I stood up. The towering over people thing usually worked in my favor but Tomasz and I stood eye to eye. “Are you fucking kidding me? Puffing out your chest like you’d be able to intimidate me? I’m not some fucking peon who worships at the altar of Cole Industries, you dick.”
“Tom, you don’t understand.”
He looked over my shoulder and said in a mock-earnest tone, “Help me out, Gwen. Did I understand you correctly? Are you fucking my sister’s boyfriend at—what sounds like—very regular intervals?”
Gwen took her coat and stormed out of the bar. I looked back to him. “Please don’t do this, Tom.”
He pushed me, full force, and I just swayed back into the bar. “Never! I would never let my sister stay with a prick like you, you got that?”
I was defeated. “Let me tell her, Tom. I can’t be home until the end of the week. Please, I’m fucking begging you.”
“Forty-eight hours and I’m not even promising that,” he said as he grabbed his coat, waved apologetically to the group he was with, and left.
The next morning I woke up with a raging headache that had nothing to do with the booze I’d consumed. I checked my phone in a panic to see if Kasia had called me. There was a text marked early this morning and I winced as I opened it:
Good luck today, Dylan!
I ran to the bathroom and emptied my gut.
I’d completely, irrevocably fucked it all up.
Kasia
I woke up in the middle of the night, out of breath, sweating. I’d just had an awesome dream with an ending that startled me right out of my sleep. I was lying back on the beach in St. John, at night, moonlight over the ocean. I was in a state of absolute pleasure, naked with my lover on the sand. His body covered mine. I was stroking my fingers through his hair as we kissed and when he looked up to meet my gaze it wasn’t Dylan…it was Jake.
I decided on Tuesday to skip going to the store. Between that dream and what had transpired between us yesterday, I couldn’t face him. Instead I met up with Caitlin, Rene, and Darcy for lunch. We met uptown, near Darcy’s school, so she could sneak out during her break. Caitlin had us all laughing, talking about her adventures with Mick last night. “Thank goodness for Mick or else I would have been a third wheel.”
Darcy asked, “What happened to that tasty treat Kasia was hoping to hook you up with?”
“Jake? No, I think Jake is smitten with someone else, right, Kasia?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he’s crazy about you.”
“What?” Darcy blurted out, shocked.
“You’re wrong, Caitlin,” I hushed her. “You’re wrong.”
“Take it easy, Kasia. I was teasing you but…he is definitely into you. It was pretty obvious to me.” She weighed her words for a moment and then went on, softly, “He looks at you like he’s in love with you.”
I started to cry then. Everything I’d been holding inside came out and I spilled it all to my friends. The uncertainties, the doubts I’d h
ad about Dylan, the deep sense of love and devotion that I had for Dylan, and the pull I was feeling towards Jake. Rene held one hand as Darcy took the other. Rene soothed me, “It’s ok, Kasia. Look at the year you’ve had, would you?”
Darcy interjected, “Yeah. You’re working non-stop, your business is exploding, and you and Dylan are on two opposite sides of the planet most of the time.”
Caitlin asked, direct as always, “Who is it that you want?”
I choked on a sob as I whispered, “Both of them.”
I made my way back to Brooklyn, exhausted later on that afternoon. As I walked into my house I heard the girls’ happy little squeals and I was relieved to have them there to take my mind off things. Olivia and Veronica had Kara sitting on the floor of the living room. One was putting lipstick on her while the other was dousing her in perfume. “Hey, I need some make-up too!” I whined. They both screamed my name, hugged me as I sat down and, basically, surrounded me with love.
“Kasia, did you come here to rescue me?”
“No, Kara, my aunt says you have them under control. They’re going to miss you when you back to school next week,”
Veronica chimed in, “No. Mama said we can go visit her when we go to see the president.”
“Oh, that’s very nice, Veronica.” I said to Kara then as she laughed, “Don’t think she’s kidding. She’s very persuasive. Don’t be surprised when they show up for the cherry blossoms this spring.”
Kara’s eyes widened. “That’s a great idea!” She went on to tell the girls about the “beautiful pink flowers that went on for miles and miles,” as they listened, transfixed. She was wonderful with them. And damn, I sat there thinking, the whole thing about Jake becoming Kara’s guardian at such a young age made me want him even more. It made him see him as a man, in the best sense of the word. A man who took care of what was his, who protected those around him, a man who would sacrifice everything for family; that was pretty sexy.
When I heard his voice then, I felt scared and insecure all of a sudden. Scared of wanting him, scared of what this would mean, and insecure about how he saw me. All of a sudden I regretted things about myself, things about my past. If Jake knew everything I was, everything I’d been with Dylan, would he still want me? Would he see me as too fast, as too experienced? I don’t know why these thoughts were creeping into my head. I mean, I’d been with only two men my whole life while some of my friends, Val in particular, had been with so many she’d most likely lost count. I was judging myself harshly for those few times that I’d played a role for Dylan, pushed myself beyond where I was comfortable to please him. Those times were never his fault; I didn’t place any blame on him. I did regret it, though, and believed those experiences had changed me.
I felt Kara’s curious eyes on me then. “Kasia? Jake’s here.” Maybe I’d been sitting, lost in thought, for longer than a moment.
He came closer then and put his hand on my shoulder, looking concerned. “Are you alright? I was…you didn’t come in today.”
“I know. I met the rest of my friends for lunch before Caitlin flew back to Chicago. I’m going to pay for it, though. I have so much work to do.” I got up, suddenly wary of being this close to him. Not trusting myself, really. “I’m going to head there now and grab a few things I can take back and work on here tonight.”
“I’ll take you.”
“No. I don’t want you to go out of your way, Jake.”
He looked out the window as he said, “I like it when you call me Jakub.”
I took in a ragged breath and looked around to notice that Kara and the girls had left us. “What are we doing?”
“Come, Kasia, take a ride with me.”
I followed after him without another word, without a protest. I was going with him no matter what.
He drove in silence for the ten minutes it took to get to the store. We climbed the stairs and he stood close behind me as I went to unlock the apartment. I felt like every hair on the back of my neck stood up and my skin was tingling. My hand shook as I tried to work the key. Jake’s hand came to mine and steadied it. “Let me,” he said.
I sat at the kitchen counter and he took the seat next to mine. He’s knees brushed against mine. When I looked over to him he was looking straight back at me. “Kasia, do you love him?”
“I don’t know. I was so sure that I did but…how can you love someone when you’re thinking about someone else at the same time? What kind of person does that make me?”
“Kasia,” he said as he took my hands in his, “I’m going to back off. I don’t want to hurt you or make you feel unsure of yourself. You need to work this out on your own. But…I need you to know, Kasia, that I’m in love with you.” His head dropped then and he stood up. “I’m not telling you that to pressure you. And it’s probably stupid to say it while I’m still working here for you. I’m just not that good at hiding my feelings or at keeping things in.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll meet you down in the truck and I’ll take you home.”
I stood then and took his hand as he was turning to leave. “Jakub.”
He put one hand on my cheek then and drew me towards him before he kissed me. His kiss felt warm, gentle, tender and loving. I kissed him back and his kiss turned more intense. I felt like I was melting under him—the boy was a skilled kisser. I wanted his hands on me but they stayed, cradling my face as he kissed me. I took his hands and he let me, at first. But when I rested his hands on either side of me, just beside my breasts, he pulled back and let out a breath as he whispered my name.
Crap. I was so ashamed and angry at myself. Now he would think I was a slut, begging to be felt up the first time he kissed me. “I’m sorry, Kasia.” He lifted my chin gently so that I had to look at him. “Are you ok?”
“I’m just embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed? Don’t be. I’m kind of jumping for joy that you want me to touch you.” He smiled at me before he moved in closer and spoke softly into my ear. “I want to touch you, Kasia, so badly it hurts. But when I touch you, I’m the only man who’s touching you. And when I love you, when I have you, you have to be only mine. I don’t share, Kasia. I want you to be mine.”
Damn. If that didn’t just turn me into a puddle of want. I felt like a cult follower, looking up into the eyes of her leader. I wanted him so badly that everything ached, my heart and my body. “I want to be yours, Jakub.”
He leaned in and kissed me again. “I already know that I’m yours, Kasia.”
Chapter Ten
Dylan
I was at the office by eleven. Early this morning I was practically shaking but now I was back to being calm, cool, and collected. I’d called my father earlier, telling him about my plan to fly back late tonight before making a turnaround back to Chicago tomorrow morning. When he asked why, I told him the truth.
“You’ll get through it as a couple if it’s meant to be, son.”
I fucking hated him sometimes. “We won’t get through it.”
“Then—”
“I’m going, Dad. We’re not like you and Mom. Kasia’s definitely not like Mom. She’s not going to turn a blind eye while I screw half the female employees of Cole Industries. I’m flying out tonight and I’ll be back first thing tomorrow.”
“You. Are. Staying. You are the point person in this labor dispute so you will be dealing with the unions and the city officials. You Dylan—so grow the fuck up. You won’t be leaving the bargaining table at the hotel for the next three days for so much as a shower—forget flying back east to reassure your weepy girlfriend.”
“You have millions of shareholders and thousands of employees that rely upon you. This is what it means to run Cole Industries. Do you understand, Dylan? It’s about your name, your family, and your responsibilities.” His voice softened then. “Your life is no longer your own.”
In that moment I realized that my father was right.
I had a job to do.
Gwen looked smooth and composed as she entered my
office a few minutes before the others were scheduled to arrive. She closed the door behind her and then sat on the edge of my desk. “Do we need to discuss anything?”
“No. I’ll brief you when the others get here.”
“I was referring to last night.”
“I said everything I wanted to say last night and it still stands.”
“Understood.”
She got it. She knew I didn’t consider her a confidant, a shoulder to cry on. She also understood that we were done. It was over and the affair would never negatively impact upon her at work. Gwen and I were cut of the same cloth; she could turn it on and off, move on without so much as a tear shed.
Kasia
We were driving back to my house. He had one hand on the wheel and one hand was entwined with mine. This was crazy but it felt completely right. Within the span of one day I went from thinking I was in a relationship with Dylan to knowing, with absolute certainty, that I wanted Jake to be the man in my life. “It’s only seven o’clock, Jakub. I want to fly out there tonight.”
“Fly where? To see him?”
“Yes. I need to talk to him…to tell him in person.”
“Kasia, don’t do that for me. I can wait. Wait until he gets back to New York.”
“I can’t wait, Jake. I can’t talk to him on the phone or respond to his texts as if nothing has changed. I’m not dishonest.” I couldn’t look at him then, even when he tugged gently on my hand I kept my gaze out the window. He slowed and pulled over.
“Kasia, talk to me.”
“I am dishonest, aren’t I? I’ve been with him this entire time while I’ve been wanting you. I’ve been…” I shook my head, ashamed, trying to keep the tears from spilling, “I’ve been with him, Jakub, up until a few days ago.”
“Kasia, please stop beating yourself up. He was your boyfriend. I pushed my way in while I knew you were with him. Listen,” he said as he drew me closer to him and rested his forehead against mine, “we’ll take things slow, ok? I’ll wait, as long as I need to, for you.”
