by Amy McKinley
“Yes, we lived with our mom and dad until she died.” He got a faraway look in his eyes. “It wasn’t all bad even after that. We had somewhere to go in high school on occasion, and then after, we had a place. We lived with our friends—we saved each other, our sanity, and survived to get out of that hellhole. Those were the guys who became a real family to Chris and me.” There was a tightness bracketing his mouth, carving lines that weren’t usually there.
“Is that why you’re teaching women’s self-defense?”
He looked surprised.
“Carl told me.”
He nodded. “It is. My mom gave up. If I can help one woman get out of a bad situation, it eases some of my memories.”
There was so much more to him than I’d thought. I was embarrassed by how I’d judged him on appearance and from a brief encounter between him and the flight attendant.
I could share some vulnerability about myself. It didn’t compare to his, but it was something. He had demons in his closet, too, and he’d shown some of them to me, so the least I could do the same. “I’m terrified of being in the deep water when it’s storming, alone and drowning.”
He leaned forward, enveloped one of my hands with his large one, and gave mine a gentle squeeze before he released me.
I wanted more. I wanted to turn my palm up so that our hands clasped. He made things easier, somehow. I understood the gift he’d given his brother. He drew the darkness away so light could shine once more.
He smiled gently. “Traumatic experiences do that, but in time, I think you’ll overcome those fears enough to enjoy being on the water in iffy weather.”
“Maybe. I’ve had years of counseling, so I manage. Running helps me process when too much is going on in my head or my anxiety starts to choke me.”
“You haven’t been jogging lately, have you?” He leaned back in his chair again, his intense blue eyes capturing and holding me hostage.
“No. I’ve been either exhausted and sleeping in until the last possible second, or…” I didn’t want to say it, but I felt like I was being watched. Running in the early morning, sometimes before the sun came up, didn’t seem like the smartest thing to do for the time being. The memory void from my accident made me vulnerable as it was, and inviting him into my head added to the paranoia about being watched. I needed more time to get to know him better before I could trust he wouldn’t think I was crazy.
Silence stretched between us, and I suddenly felt like I was one of the samples I studied under a microscope. Can he see my concerns? Did I give too much away?
“Carl shared with me what you’re working on for the Russian research facility. While I agree with him that it’s a long shot that the threat is coming from them, I’ll check out everyone associated with the people who were infected.”
I nodded. I didn’t want to talk about it. I wondered whether I would have been able to save them if they’d had access to the delta-32 mutation I was perfecting. “All I’ve been doing lately is worrying. The testing we’re doing is constantly on my mind.”
“Why don’t I come by early tomorrow, and we can run together?”
I could really use that. It’ll take the edge off my overactive imagination and maybe eliminate the added stress. This is good. Safe. And I don’t have to confess any silly fears about perceived noises or writing that isn’t there, which is making me feel weak. “You think you can keep up with me?”
A wicked grin spread across his face, and his eyes danced with mirth. “You challenging me, Brainy?”
I was never going to live that one down. “Just stating a fact. I ran a marathon recently.” He was a former Navy SEAL. How much competition could he be?
“Game on.” With a foot on the table’s rim, he balanced on his tilted chair. “Why don’t we raise the stakes? If I win, I take you to dinner this weekend.”
Warmth trickled through me, and my smile spread from ear to ear. I couldn’t help it. I liked him. He was so much more than the first impression I’d gotten before the boating incident. “As a date?”
“You bet, Sweet Cheeks.”
I did laugh that time. “Really? That’s the term you’re going with?” I took another sip of my wine. “If you think you stand a chance of winning… I’m all in. What do I get if I win?”
“Anything you want. I’ll even let you name your prize after the race.”
“You’re on.” It was going to be fun. I needed to figure out what I wanted more than a date. Because if I was honest with myself, I wanted that too.
We gathered the empty bottle of wine and the glasses then headed inside. After making sure the back door was locked the and shades were drawn, he took his leave—that was, once he heard the lock click on the front door behind him, which I knew from shamelessly standing by the door with my palm against the wood.
I still felt warm inside, which I could have chalked up to the two glasses of wine I’d consumed, but I suspected it was from him. With a smile curving my lips, I shut the lights off as I made my way to my bedroom to get ready for bed. I pulled open the drawer on my dresser to take out a tank top and loose pajama pants but then froze. On the dresser, where it always sat, was a picture taken a few years ago of my mom and me. A very light coating of dust covered the top of the furniture, except for a thin line where the picture had been. It had been moved.
I rubbed my face with my hands, my anxiety climbing as I debated contacting Trev. Several minutes passed until I made myself brush my teeth and change into clothes to sleep. I climbed into bed. There had to be an explanation.
Or at least that’s what I tried to convince myself as I tossed and turned, while the sheets morphed into a boa constrictor from my movements. Morning was a long way away.
My legs ached as I pushed open the door to the building I worked in. Even though I was sore from the race with Trev that morning, it had been invigorating. He’d won, and anticipation about what that meant buzzed through me—we would be going on a date.
I flashed my badge at Josh, the security guard, before swiping it.
He grinned. “Back already?”
My feet slowed as I raised my eyebrows. Right, because I’m a workaholic with no life outside the lab. My colleagues teased me about it even though most of them were the same way. So yes, of course, I was back again. “Yep. I can’t seem to stay away. Those pesky little technicalities like needing a paycheck come into play.”
He didn’t smile or laugh as I thought he would.
I opened my mouth to question him, but then several people entered, and he turned his attention to them. Shrugging, I let it go.
When I got to my desk and dropped my purse in a drawer, I heard my name. I looked up to Carl leaning into the lab’s entrance. He waved me to his office.
I crossed to his large office, with its panoramic view of skyscrapers and peeks of the ocean in between. I took a seat in front of him. “Morning, Carl.”
“Jules”—he dragged his hand across his forehead and flinched. A pained expression briefly crossed his features—“I don’t even know how to tell you this.”
Alarm raced through me. “Just say it, whatever it is.”
“This isn’t public knowledge, at least not yet.” He rubbed his face again before meeting my gaze. “Fran was found in her apartment this morning by a neighbor. They had a standing routine to exercise in the morning. When Fran missed then didn’t answer her door or phone, the neighbor let herself in.”
“Is she okay?” Panic shot down my arms, making my fingers tingle. The virus. “Was it—”
“No, she hadn’t been infected by the virus, but I’m sorry to tell you that she isn’t okay. Fran’s dead, Jules. There was no sign of forced entry, no defensive wounds. It was ruled a suicide.”
“What? How?” My brain was spinning. Fran hadn’t seemed depressed. She’d looked so run-down the day before, and that fight we had—the last words we’d spoken to each other weren’t the best. I felt terrible.
“I don’t have any more details than that
. I’m sorry, Jules. She’ll be missed.”
“I—” Tremors ran through my hands, and I clasped them in my lap, trying to control it. I didn’t understand how she could be gone. “Is there going to be an investigation? I mean, come on, Carl, you know Fran. She wasn’t depressed. There’s no way she would have harmed herself.”
He shook his head. “It’s hard to tell what’s going on in people’s heads. Sometimes pain can be hidden until no one is around. That’s when they’re most vulnerable to things that happened during the day, how they’re feeling…”
No… Does he think she killed herself because of the fight we had? Does everyone think that? My stomach cramped, and I fought down the bile that was climbing my throat. I didn’t want to face anyone.
“We’ll know more after the coroner’s and medical examiner’s reports. I know you were close. Go home. Take the day off. I’ve already called Trev to come to pick you up.”
I numbly got my things and made my way to the elevator. My mind spun—I didn’t understand how she could have done it. Tears flooded my eyes as I stepped off the elevator and exited the building. Instead of standing by the doors and waiting for Trev, I pivoted on a heel and walked, head down, toward the ocean. People weaved out of my way. I did not. Several shoulders bumped against mine, dislodging more tears, but I didn’t care.
I should have paid attention.
The driver of the car in front of me was taking his sweet time putting his damn foot on the accelerator once the light changed. I impatiently inched forward. I tapped Jules’s number on my phone and spoke through the speakers in the car when she answered. “I’m on my way. Hang in there.”
She said “okay” in a shaky voice then disconnected the call. My instincts screamed that something was going on. I needed details to fit the puzzle pieces together before anyone else got hurt.
I called Chris and waited for him to pick up the phone. He finally grumbled a groggy hello.
“You busy?” I clipped out.
“I was, but not anymore. What do you want?”
I filled him in on the latest with Jules’s case. “I need more information than ‘suicide.’”
“I’d say so.” Chris yawned. “Lots of weird stuff happening around that woman.”
“Right, so can you dig up the details?”
“Yeah. Mari is doing something with the girls today—”
“Hannah and Liv?”
“Yes. They’re having a girls’ morning or something like that. Liv won an award for one of her sculptures and sold it for a few thousand, so they’re celebrating. Liam, Jack, and I stayed behind—because we weren’t invited—to get some work done.”
“Congrats to Liv. Let her know I said that, okay?”
Chris said he would.
“Jack would be a big help on this too.”
“You think I can’t hack into the California police servers?”
I had to poke the bear. He made it too easy. “I have my doubts. If Jack can’t do it, he has Hannah, and she’s badass. No offense, bro. You’re good, but that team is lethal.”
“Next time I see you, I’m kicking your ass.” The line went dead, and I burst out laughing. I loved my brother, but opportunities to challenge him were too good to pass up. I knew he would get the information I needed and then some. If he ran into a block, which he wouldn’t, as his hacking skills were better than Jack’s, he would find another way. He always did.
My grin fell as I pulled up to find that Jules wasn’t waiting for me behind the glass panes of her office building. I searched along the sidewalk until I saw a glimpse of her walking with her head down, clearly not paying attention.
A man moved along the crowded sidewalk behind her. The hood of his sweatshirt was up, obscuring any view of his face. I didn’t like it. Fuck. I jolted the vehicle forward, slammed on the brakes, then jumped out. He was inches from her. In the next second, I lost her.
A woman cried out.
“Hey!” I yelled, shoving through people to get to her.
She was on the sidewalk. The man who’d pushed her down was nowhere to be seen. I lifted her up, scanning the area. Half a block away, I caught a glimpse of him as he rounded the corner on a black crotch rocket. Goddamn, I wanted to go after him, but she was my priority. “Are you hurt?”
“Ah, no.” She brushed her scraped palms on her pants.
She pushed her sunglasses up on her nose before she turned to me, but it didn’t stop me from seeing the tear tracks on her cheeks.
“Are you sure?” I ran my hands up and down her arms.
She gave me a small nod. “Can we go? I want to go home.” Her hands trembled.
Shit. I need to get more guys out here or at least extend our perimeter to include her office building. With my arm around her shoulders, I led her to the car and got her settled before going around to my side. I didn’t miss the way she leaned into me. I decided to give her a few minutes to process what had happened before I questioned her.
I eased back into traffic. Neither of us said a word. I didn’t give her long. “Did you see who that man was? Did he say anything to you?”
“No. He grabbed me. You yelled. Then he shoved me to the ground. I didn’t hear his voice. But…”
“What?” I shifted my gaze from the road for a moment.
Her words were quiet and measured. She kept her gaze locked on her hands. “I caught a faint whiff of peppermint. Maybe gum? I don’t know. It could have been some on the sidewalk.”
It could’ve been. “It’s better to note anything you observed in case it ties to that man.” I didn’t say it to her, but he had been tall and lean, agile in the way he moved. There was a good chance he was part of one of her military groups, but my gut still said that was the wrong angle. Why, I wasn’t sure, but we would figure it out.
When I pulled up in front of her house, she turned to me, her lower lip trembling. “Thanks for the ride.” She was out the door in a flash.
“Do you want me to come in?”
“I appreciate it, but no. I want to be alone.”
I let her go against my better judgment. The guy shoving her must have rattled her, but probably not as badly as the news about her assistant. Once she was safely inside, I went to the police station to see what information I could get about Fran. I would go back and check on Jules later. For the time being, she probably wanted to cry without an audience. That was my guess. Death sucked. It was a giant sucker punch that I was sure had shaken her world.
Even though my parents had been horrible to Chris and me, our mom’s death had been a blow we weren’t expecting. Lucky for us, we had a great support system in place with our crew. Those memories of our parents were from a long time ago.
I shook it off. I needed answers. Halfway to the police station, my cell rang. I hit the button on the steering wheel to connect the call via Bluetooth.
Chris’s voice boomed through the speakers and filled the interior of my SUV. “I was able to get past their passwords and into the main police database. The reports aren’t complete, but I found some strange notes about the case.”
“Well?” If Fran’s death wasn’t a suicide, Jules was in way more trouble than we’d thought.
“There were two incisions on her arm. One cut along her forearm and followed the radial artery, and then a separate incision bisected horizontally through both the radial and ulnar arteries at the wrist. They both formed a T.”
Like the scar Jules had. “Fran was a scientist, so the precision makes sense, but it seems like overkill for a suicide.” That was a bad choice of words, but I couldn’t figure out why Fran had cut herself to match Jules’s scar. Carl had told me about the office disagreement, but something didn’t add up. I puffed out a breath. “No sign of forced entry or a struggle?”
“No, nothing like that, but there was something else. The cord to her alarm clock was lying over her palm. The time had stopped at 7:16 a.m. Does that mean anything to you?”
“Not a thing, but it seems like it sho
uld.” I scratched the stubble along my jaw, wondering what we were missing.
“I cross-checked Jules’s mom’s time of death. It was in the afternoon. They’ll do an autopsy as well as find out whose fingerprints are on the knife. There are empty bottles of alcohol in the garbage. Some of the evidence points to depression.”
Still, the scar sat wrong. It felt like a message, a personal one. I told Chris about the similar marks. Silence stretched between us as I weighed my options. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this but can’t quite put my finger on why, or if there is foul play, or from where.”
“Yeah, I agree. We’ve got the boating accident, the weird screen-saver note, then the assistant dying. And on top of that, she’s working to find a solution to help people in Russia who came into contact with an ancient virus. Something isn’t adding up.” He waited for a beat. “Is there a chance Jules killed her?”
“No. I can’t even imagine that.”
Chris snorted. “I talked with Connor earlier. He thinks you’re personally involved.”
“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.” I’d pulled Connor, one of the members of our team, onto the job to help with security around Jules’s house. He was overstepping with his assumptions and stirring up trouble for me with the guys.
“It’s my job to look out for you, Trev. If I find out there’s anything wrong or mentally unstable with this chick, you damn well better believe I’ll be there in a second. I’ve got your back, always.”
I couldn’t be objective where she was concerned. I loved my brother more than anything, but the shit with Jules—dammit, I had crossed a line. I cared too much. “Who’s in Maine right now besides you and Mari?”
“Liam, Liv, Jack, and Hannah. Why? Are you thinking of bringing Jules here?”
Maybe it was time to let the team do an evaluation with unbiased eyes. “I am. The funeral is on Sunday, so I’ve got the weekend for you guys to help me poke around and see if there’s anything I’m missing.”
