He wasn't sure what to say.
She reached out and then stopped. "Can I… touch your leg?"
His body trembled but he nodded.
Her soft fingers ran lightly over his scars. Tracing them with a caress as soft as dandelion seeds. He fought back the tears that formed behind his eyelids and coughed once before putting the liner in his duffle.
“Does it hurt?” she asked.
“Sometimes. Not as much as it used to. I’ve been lucky. For some guys the pain never goes away. I’m down to just a couple times a week as long as I keep up with my therapy. The strangest thing is when I forget it’s gone and I try to scratch it.”
He took off his other shoe and sock, grabbed her shoes, and put them in the bag as well.
Cara got to her feet, and brushed off her rear. She pulled him up, and he leaned on the railing. She was stronger than she appeared.
She picked up his bag, then swooped under his arm so he could lean on her shoulder.
His arm wrapped around her and then some. For as slender as she was, she helped him with considerable ease.
They walk-hopped toward the edge of the water. The tide rushed up to greet them and Cara shivered as it covered her toes.
"Man that's cold." He chuckled and let his toes sink into the wet sand as the water retreated.
"Hang on a sec." She ducked out from under his arm and ran back to dry ground. She dropped the duffle, then came back to his side. He leaned his arm on her shoulder and they stood there for several minutes, letting the water wash over their feet.
"So I owe you a story," he said.
She looked up at him and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Sorry?"
"The wager from the other night. If you won the game."
"Oh, Noah, you don't have to–"
"I want to. I freaked out and ended the game so you won."
"It's okay, really. I'm just sorry it happened at all."
He needed to tell her. To tell someone. His therapist said he needed to talk it out. He'd never told anyone the whole story. And though he shouldn't burden Cara with it, aside from Tate and Donovan, she was all he had at the moment. And he wasn't going to tell just anyone in his group.
He looked out over the water, letting the memories he'd kept hidden for so long, surface and play out in front of his eyes. He cataloged them and fought back the worst of the anxiety and fear, then he started.
"My unit was supposed to be on down time. Just hanging out and keeping the peace. Jefferson had offered to patrol for the night, while the rest of us were having beer and playing cards. We were each about three drinks in when word came over the line that there was incoming artillery. We gathered up our stuff and headed out."
He stared at the tide, crashing in as the scent of gun smoke, burning trash, and sand invaded his memories.
"I ran out of our tent and that's when I saw him. A huge dog, staring at me. At first I thought it was just the beer messing with me, but then I realized he was real. I tried to shoo him away but he just paced back and forth. Finally I grabbed him, but damn that dog was big."
His gut clenched and his muscles shook as the memories assaulted him. He sucked in a deep breath and swallowed hard. He could still feel the weight of Jefferson's body on his shoulder. The scratch of wolf hair against his cheek. He closed his eyes at the memory and everything went blank.
"Anyway, that's when the blast hit, from what I've been told. I don't remember it myself."
Cara laced her fingers in his. "I'm so sorry Noah."
"Yeah, well, it wasn't you that bit me. Jefferson said it was an accident. That'd he'd been trying to drag me out from under some rubble and he bit down too deep."
Cara stepped in front of him and looked into his eyes. "Sounds like he was trying to help."
Rage coursed through him afresh. "He knew who he was and what could happen and he joined the military anyway. He had to know what would happen if he bit me. Screw him. Screw all werewolves that bite people."
She looked away and the rage that had come on fled just as fast.
"I'm sorry." He pulled her face back, making her look at him. A tear leaked from her eye and he brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. He pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry Cara. I didn't mean it like that." He kissed the top of her head.
She clung to him for several minutes and they stared out at the water in silence. Man he was messed up. Cara was a good person and she'd been nothing but kind to him. How could he be so narrow minded as to lump every werewolf he'd met into the same group as Jefferson. And even Jefferson? Why couldn't he cut that guy a break?
Finally, he pulled her face to look at him again. Her eyes shone in the moonlight. The light scent of her shampoo soothed the ache within him. He traced the contour of her high cheekbone and the taper of her jawline. His fingers rested just beneath her chin and he ran his thumb over her bottom lip.
He inched closer, feeling her sweet breath hit his face. A need to kiss her raced through him, so fierce he was powerless to resist. He pressed his lips to hers lightly, waiting for her to back away, to slap him, to laugh. But she didn't. Instead she met his pressure with her own as he licked the seam of her mouth. Her lips parted and she kissed him harder.
His head flooded with desire and he swept his tongue into her mouth. She let out a moan so sensual it almost brought him to his knees. Her hands slid up his back to his neck and her fingers laced into his hair. Their tongues mingled and heat flushed through him as he pulled her closer.
Her soft full lips smothered his with hungry, wet kisses until she jerked away.
"I'm sorry." She shook her head. "Noah, I'm so sorry but I… I can't."
Emptiness rooted in his chest and hollowed his ribcage. "No. No. I'm sorry."
"I… I need to tell you something–"
"Really. It's fine." He hopped back a step cursing himself for having only one leg. "I apologize. I shouldn't have done that either."
"You… you shouldn't have?" Her brows drew together in mixed signal confusion.
"No," he lied. His mind worked double time, to come up with an excuse that wouldn't hurt her. "I'm not going to be here long and you have your whole life ahead of you and…" He trailed off. Every syllable he spoke only made his humiliation burn deeper. "I should get you home."
His pride shattered into a million pieces as he asked her to help him back up the beach. They walked to the foot of the stairs, then he let her go and hopped to the truck on his own. He wiped off the sole of his foot and slid into the driver's seat. He didn't want to get sand in his liner so he left it off.
They drove in merciful silence. But again, the silence between them wasn't uncomfortable. It made his heart and brain collide further. Cara stared out her window, as if trying to give him as much space as possible. Freak. Why couldn't he do that for her? Just let the beautiful girl be and not try to saddle her with his own mess? Was it because he was a werewolf now? Was there some kind of weird wolf connection between them no one had told him about? He didn't know.
When they got back, he went straight to his room and closed the door.
Lying in bed, he stared at the ceiling. Damn his lonely heart for letting someone in. Especially someone as good and sweet as Cara. She deserved a man. A real man to take care of her. Not the shell of a man he was now.
Cara deserved better.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Cara stared at her clock as it turned two a.m. Memories of that horrible night drifted in and out of her mind and she wiped the last tears from her eyes.
Running through the forest. Her mama right behind her. The gunfire, the pain, the feel of flesh between her teeth.
She closed her eyes and sucked in a ragged breath. Four years, two months and five days. That was how long it had been since she'd run under the full moon. And that was exactly how long she'd hated being a wolf.
She twirled the wolfsbane bracelet between her fingers, thanking God Natasha had come into her life and given it to her.
"No!" Noah yelled.
She took the stairs, two at a time, to the main floor, her heart slamming into her ribcage. Noah yelled incoherently from inside his room. Goosebumps pebbled her skin and she raised her bat ready to swing.
"Noah?" She scanned the room and sniffed the air, but there was no one else around. Relief flooded her.
She twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. He thrashed in his bed and cried out. She dropped the bat and went to him.
"Noah." She placed her hand on his chest and jostled him. "Noah."
He flailed and struck out but she ducked. He thrashed again and she moved back to his side.
"Noah. Noah wake up."
He leapt from his bed wobbling on one foot. He slammed her into the wall knocking the air out of her. His eyes were wild and unfocused, like he didn't see her.
"Noah…"
He blinked several times. "Cara?"
Anger gave way to confusion, which gave way to remorse as he dropped his hand and pulled her into his arms.
"Cara. Holy shit. Cara. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
She clutched at his t-shirt, trying to calm her trembling. "I shouldn't have tried to wake you like that. It's my fault."
"No. No it's not you. It's me. I'm so messed up." He dropped his head to her shoulder and all fear drained out of her. She held him close and allowed him his moment of pain. The connection zipped through her like brushfire. He sucked in a sharp breath suddenly and cleared his throat.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'd never hurt you. Never."
"I know." Her voice shook.
He lifted his head and kissed her chin, her cheek, her temple, he then rested his forehead against hers.
She kissed the tip of his nose. Even in his grief there was a formidable strength. A pain that went bone deep; one she understood all too well.
His gaze locked with hers and desire flooded her body with warmth, pooling between her thighs. His hard muscular body pressed her into the wall. His fingers traced up her waist, over her side to her collarbone, then landed at her throat. He cupped her jaw and his fingers wrapped around her neck.
She shouldn't do this. She shouldn't. It would only bring them both torment.
"Do you want me to stay with you a while?" she asked.
He stared at her and she could tell it pained him to say yes.
"Just for a little bit. We don't have to talk or anything. I'll just keep you company. Make sure you rest okay." She tried to smile at him reassuringly.
He nodded. "I don’t deserve it."
His body relaxed, he fell back on the bed and scooted closer to the wall. Cool air washed over her skin, and she fought to hold back a sigh of regret.
She walked to the other side and slipped under the covers next to him. They got situated and Noah pulled up the blankets.
They lay for a long time, just looking at each other, neither speaking. Noah chewed the inside of his cheek, his eyes telling her he wanted to talk, but he didn't.
"Are you comfortable?" he finally asked.
"I'm good. You?"
"I'm gonna roll over."
She nodded and he turned to face the wall.
"Do you want me to scratch your back? My mama used to do that for me, when I wasn't feeling well."
"Sure."
Cara moved her nails around his skin and hummed a tune. After several minutes his muscles relaxed and his breathing evened out.
She swallowed hard. What was she getting herself into? Noah needed help. More than she could give with back scratches or trips to the beach.
When he began to snore she slowed her hands, and then stopped. She slid to the edge of the bed but his hand shot out and caught her wrist.
"Stay. Just a little longer?"
She moved over and he rolled onto his back.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," he said.
She curled up next to him and rolled onto her side as well. He wrapped his body around hers, so she was the little spoon.
The weight of his body made every inch of her relax. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the rhythmic feel of his warm breath on the back of her neck. She'd never felt anything so right before.
****
Bright yellow sunlight peeked through the blinds but Noah wasn't ready to get out of bed. He'd been awake for over an hour and a half listening to the birds chirp outside his window and allowing the chilly morning breeze to caress his skin. Amazingly, he'd slept from quarter to three to eight thirty. Noah hadn't gotten that much sleep in over a year. Having Cara near him soothed his demons. Being with her felt right in a way he couldn't explain. Even his time with Brigette had never felt like this. He'd cared for Brigette and they'd had fun together. If he'd married her, their marriage would have been all smiles, hiding his pain. A lie. But there was no need to lie to Cara. She took him as he was.
He ran his hand up and down Cara's back. Every once in a while he traced the round, jagged scar in the middle of her back, just left of her spine. It was slightly larger than a silver dollar and sent a shiver of fear, mixed with anger, through him every time he felt it. Being a Marine he knew exactly what the scar was from. A bullet wound.
How she'd gotten it or when, wasn't clear but Noah found himself wondering about her past and if the injury had something to do with her mom. The way Cara spoke about her made them sound close. But none of it seemed present tense. His gut twisted thinking someone had hurt Cara. He'd be damned if he let himself hurt her as well.
****
A sharp rap on the door had Cara jumping up. "What time is it?"
Noah pulled his phone from the nightstand. "Eleven forty five."
"Crap. Natasha. Crap. Crap. Crap." Cara leapt across the room and smashed her head with her palms trying to flatten her hair.
Noah laughed and she turned to face him. Her eyes narrowed. "Don't laugh at me."
He chuckled louder. "Man from the look on your face you'd think we had a wild night of animal sex."
Heat flushed her skin and she swallowed hard. In that moment she wished that was exactly what had happened.
A key sounded in the lock of the front door and Cara ran from Noah's room, rushing to the door as Natasha let herself in.
"Hey. I knocked but you didn't answer."
"Sorry." Cara tried to slow her breathing.
Natasha's eyebrows pushed together. "Are you okay?"
"Yup. I'm great."
Natasha chuckled. "Why are you out of breath?"
"I'm not." Cara wrapped her arms around herself.
Natasha's gaze travelled past Cara to the bedroom door and she sniffed the air.
Cara grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the stairs. "Let's go to my room." She raced up the stairs with Natasha behind her.
“You didn't!" Natasha laughed.
Cara climbed onto her bed and pulled a pillow into her lap. "What?"
Natasha flopped next to her. "Spill."
She shrugged and tried to keep a straight face but couldn't. Natasha was her best friend. They’d lived together for months. She knew Cara about as well as Liam did. There was no hiding from her.
"You slept with Noah."
"Yes, but not the way you think. I just slept in there. We didn't do anything."
Natasha studied her for a minute. "What about next time?"
Cara tried to keep her composure, but the butterflies in her stomach, and the heat in her cheeks kept her from sitting still. "Who says there'll be a next time?"
"The blush on your face."
"We're friends that's all. He's a good guy. He's sweet. Good mannered, educated, a bit shy. And a mean cook. I haven't been fed this well since my mama died. And… when we talk it's like… I don't know. Like I've always known him." Cara shrugged. "Besides, even i
f I had been willing, Noah isn't the one night stand or friends with benefits kind of guy. He's better than that."
A conflicted expression rooted on Natasha's face. "Cara… you guys have only known each other like five days."
"So?"
"What if you guys… you know… bond."
"It doesn't work like that with a newly bitten, you know that. He doesn't even know he can do that yet."
"It could happen though. If you two were meant to be together it's possible. And it sounds like you two are getting close. Fast."
"No faster than you and Liam."
"Exactly my point."
Cara looked down at her bedspread and picked at a thread. "Besides, it can only happen if he knows he can bond. Which I doubt he does. You have to choose to mark someone."
"But it's been known to happen, in the heat of passion, even when people don't mean to."
"Well… If we get that far, which I'm sure we won't, I'll be careful. I know myself and I know I won't go there, unless I'm totally positive it's right. I won't lose control."
Natasha shook her head. "I hope so."
Cara bit her lip and reached for Natasha's hand. "None of this matters anyway because after I tell him about my past, he's not going to come near me."
Natasha gave a tight smile. "Maybe that's for the best. I don't want to see you get hurt."
Anxiety wiggled in Cara's stomach and she searched Natasha's eyes as they softened, then saddened.
"Liam told you."
"Don't be mad at him. I made him."
She sucked in a deep breath. It wasn't like she could take back what she'd done. And put in the same situation, she'd do it again.
That didn't keep the guilt from trying to pound her into a lump of mush though.
"I figured he'd tell you sooner or later. And frankly, I'm glad I didn't have to do it."
Natasha touched her leg. "You know it doesn't change anything, right? I understand and don't think any less of you."
Cara nodded.
"Is that why you lock yourself in the basement and don't go out on the full moon?"
"Yup. Until you gave me this." She shook her wrist.
"I hope it helps. But what are you going to do this month?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't have one for Noah. He'll have to shift. Does he have someone to go with?"
Cursed by the Moon (Shifter Rising Book 2) Page 6
