by Mia Woods
Just then, Billy sauntered into the kitchen. He was fully dressed and I had to look away, afraid that I’d blush if I kept staring at him. Even with his hair mussed and dark circles under his eyes, he was easily the most handsome man I’d ever seen.
“I’m sorry about that,” Billy said. “I’ll leave now. You sure I can’t take you both to breakfast?” He glanced down at Jacob. “I happen to know a place around here that makes some dynamite hotcakes.”
“No,” I said sharply. “You need to go.”
The hurt in Billy’s blue eyes was obvious, but I couldn’t waste any time feeling guilty about him, too. I’d already committed a Single Mother Mortal Sin, and I wasn’t going to let myself get tricked into committing another.
“Okay,” Billy said. “See you soon, Alex.” He turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen. I held my breath until the front door closed, then I sighed and slumped down in a chair.
“Mom,” Jacob said sharply. “Who was that man?”
“I told you, sweetie,” I said, gritting my teeth. “Just a friend of Mommy’s. He’s gone now, okay? Now tell me – what would you like for breakfast?”
--
Hours later, I’d finally managed to calm Jacob down. I’d made scrambled eggs with cheese and toast for breakfast, and then we’d watched one of his favorite movies. I hated being stuck indoors on a day that was so beautiful outside, but I was feeling so guilty over what had happened that morning that I didn’t dare push Jacob to do anything that would upset him. I felt like the world’s worst mother – what kind of woman brings a man home after the second date? Especially a man who was practically a stranger.
It was almost a relief when Elisabeth knocked on the door shortly before I had to leave for work.
“Hey,” I said. I yawned. Despite my long night of sleep in Billy’s arms, I was exhausted.
“Hey,” Elisabeth said. She kicked off her shoes and tossed her light denim jacket over the back of a kitchen chair. “Where’s the little guy?”
“Still napping, thank god,” I said. I sank into a chair and wrapped my hands around a steaming mug of tea. “I don’t have to leave for about fifteen minutes.”
“So,” Elisabeth said. She smirked. “Feel like telling me about your date last night?”
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. “God, no.” I sniffed. “It was a complete disaster.”
“Really?” Elisabeth frowned. “That seems unlikely. You just went out for burgers – what the hell happened?”
“He came home with me,” I said quietly, keeping one eye on the kitchen doorway in case Jacob suddenly appeared.
“Oh no he didn’t,” Elisabeth gasped. “Alex, I’m so proud of you!”
I glared at her. “Come on,” I said. “I acted like a total slut. I’m not proud of it.”
“You’re being way too hard on yourself,” Elisabeth said. “When was the last time you had any fun?”
I rolled my eyes. “Fun is spending time with Jacob, watching a Disney movie,” I said. “Fun is not bringing home a strange man and sleeping with him after the second date. I can’t believe I did that.”
“Well, how was it?” Elisabeth smirked.
I swallowed and blushed.
“That good, huh?”
“Stop it,” I hissed. “Jacob will hear you!”
“If he didn’t hear you last night,” Elisabeth said.
“Shut up!” I growled. “Come on! This is already bad, Liz. I totally screwed up.”
“Oh come on,” Elisabeth said. “Stop being like this, Alex. You didn’t do anything wrong – you’re a woman, and you have needs, and that guy is smoking hot. What’s wrong with the occasional hot night of sex, as long as Jacob is safe and asleep in his bed?”
“Because,” I said through gritted teeth. “That’s not how it happened. We fell asleep…and when I woke up in the morning, Jacob was standing at the foot of my bed.”
Elisabeth’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit,” she muttered. “You’re kidding.”
I moaned miserably. “I’m not,” I said. “I wish I was. I really, really wish I was. Trust me.”
“What happened?”
“Billy was in the bathroom, and then he came into the kitchen when I was trying to feed Jacob,” I said. I glanced down at my hands, twining them together between my thighs. “Jacob kept asking who he was. I didn’t know what to say.”
“I’m sure he’ll forget all about it,” Elisabeth said soothingly. She rubbed my shoulder. “Don’t worry, Alex. It’s fine. Everyone screws up sometimes.”
I shook my head. “Billy kept wanting to go out to breakfast,” I said miserably. “I basically kicked him out without even saying goodbye.”
“Well, Jacob is more important, and if Billy’s a good guy, he’ll realize that,” Elisabeth said. She rubbed my back. “God, you’re tense.”
“Wouldn’t you be?” I shot back. “I just hope Jacob forgets about this – and soon.”
“Well, maybe not,” Elisabeth said. “What happens if you and Billy start dating? Like, officially? Then what?”
Just thinking about dating Billy was filling my stomach with butterflies. Stop it, I thought sternly. The last thing you need to be doing is mooning over this guy like a schoolgirl. You’re thirty-one, not sixteen. Grow up already.
“You like him,” Elisabeth said smugly. “I can tell. You’re blushing and your eyes have that dewy look.”
I leaned back in my chair and sighed. “It’s nothing,” I said. “It’s just an infatuation. It’ll go away. It always does.”
Elisabeth smirked. “We’ll see about that.”
Chapter Seven
I managed to stay so busy for the rest of the week that I almost forgot all about Billy.
Well, that’s not exactly true. Every time I had a moment to myself, a second alone, the memory of our hot night replayed in my mind like a tape on loop. I couldn’t forget the sensation of Billy’s fingers racing along my skin, playing my body like a violin. Every nerve tingled in my body when I thought of how he’d kissed me so deeply.
I have to admit that I was disappointed when Monday rolled around and he didn’t call or show up at The Sleeping Dog, begging for another date.
By Wednesday, I was practically desperate.
“This is what he wants,” Elisabeth had assured me when I was getting ready to leave for work. “He wants you to want him.”
I’d glared at her. “Well, tough shit,” I’d mumbled under my breath. “I’m a working mom, and he’s going to have to try a little harder than that.”
By Friday, I’d made up my mind – I was going to forget Billy Lessner. I’d forget all about his sparkling blue eyes. I’d completely let go of the memory of his muscular body, thrusting eagerly against mine. Billy was nothing. He was no one – he was a figment of my imagination, something that I’d created to deal with the stress of being a working single mother.
Of course, Billy chose Friday to stroll back into my life. I’d hardly been at work for more than an hour when he sauntered through the double doors of The Sleeping Dog, carrying the biggest bouquet of lilies and white roses that I’d ever seen.
Billy smirked as soon as he saw me. I stood up stiffly and exhaled, trying to look as icy and regal as possible. He’s no one, I thought as Billy walked closer and closer. He’s nothing. He doesn’t mean a thing to me.
“Hey beautiful,” Billy said. He grinned, then set the bouquet down on the counter.
“Who’s the lucky girl?” I asked stiffly. “Those are nice.” They were nice, and they smelled heavenly – for a moment, I was transported out of the smelly, sticky bar and into a floral, fragrant paradise.
“I don’t see anyone but you,” Billy said. He winked. “You want to find a vase for these bad boys?” In the week since we’d seen each other last, his southern twang seemed even more noticeable than before.
I licked my lips. “I’m working.”
“I see that.” Billy glanced around, pretending to study the corners of
the bar. “Problem is, I don’t see much of anyone else. You keepin’ busy back there?”
I narrowed my eyes and held up the dirty rag I was using to polish the top of the bar. “I’m cleaning.”
“I see that,” Billy repeated. He grinned, then rocked on the balls of his feet and stuck his thumbs in his belt loops. “I’ve got something else for you,” he said. My mouth went dry as he leaned down and came back with a giant gift bag.
“What is this?” I narrowed my eyes. “More flowers?”
Inside the bag, nestled in a bed of tissue paper, was an expensive Lego kit that I’d been eyeing for Jacob’s birthday. I knew that it was close to one hundred dollars.
“Oh, no,” I said, pushing the bag across the bar, towards Billy. “There’s no way I can accept this, Billy. I’m sorry.”
Billy smirked. “I thought you might say that,” he said. “But there’s a problem, Alex.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” Billy said. He chuckled. “It’s not for you. It’s for Jacob.”
Blood rose to the surface of my cheeks and I swallowed. “I know that,” I said. My voice wobbled, threatening to betray my true feelings. “I know it’s for him.”
“Well, then you can accept it on his behalf,” Billy said. He winked. “Trust me – I’m a lawyer. I know what I’m talking about.”
I sighed. “Billy…”
“Don’t Billy me,” Billy said. He held his hand up in the air. “I thought you needed a little time to cool off. I’m real sorry about falling asleep at your place, Alex. I swear – that was an accident.”
I bit my lip, hating how sincere his apology sounded. Standing in front of me, Billy didn’t look so threatening at all – he just looked like a gorgeous man…albeit, one with a very contrite expression.
“Just take the gift, Alex,” Billy said. “You don’t have to say they’re from me. Doesn’t the little guy have a birthday coming up?”
I frowned. This was all too easy – Billy had simply waltzed back into my life and I was so tempted to throw myself into his arms that my heart ached. But what was I doing? Why was I acting like this? What was wrong with me?
“You don’t have to decide now,” Billy said, as if reading my mind. “I’ll leave this with you, okay?” He grinned. “It was great to see you, gorgeous.”
I watched him walk out of The Sleeping Dog with mixed feelings. Part of me wanted to chase after him and jump into his arms and kiss him until my lips stung. But the other part of me wanted to dump his gifts right in the trash – I had a kid to worry about, and I couldn’t let myself get distracted by a man. Not right now, I thought. I’d always promised myself that I’d wait until Jacob was much older to start dating again…if ever. After all, I hadn’t exactly been plagued by a hoard of desirable men.
But Billy was different.
And now, I had no idea what I was going to do.
--
The next morning, when I woke up, the bag with the Legos was sitting at the foot of my bed. I still hadn’t decided what I was going to do – it seemed dishonest to take credit for Billy’s gift, but I didn’t know whether or not Jacob would be frightened at receiving a present from a stranger. After thinking about it for a few minutes, I decided that maybe this would be a good litmus test: if Jacob reacted positively, maybe that meant it would be okay to start pursuing things with Billy.
You’re being ridiculous, I thought as I pulled on a loose sweater and a pair of jeans. Just give him the damn toy. You can always say it was from someone else!
When I went into Jacob’s room, he was already awake and sitting in bed.
“Hi sweetie,” I said. “Did you sleep well?”
Jacob nodded. When he noticed the gift bag, his eyes got wide. “What’s that?”
I swallowed nervously. “It’s a present for you,” I said.
Jacob’s eyes lit up and he leapt out of bed, jumping up and down with excitement. I had to smile – he was so ridiculously cute, especially when he was this happy.
“From you?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said slowly. “Not from me.”
Jacob looked up at me and frowned. “From Aunt Lisbeth?”
I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t her.”
“Who? Tell me, Mommy!” Jacob jumped up and down, waving his little arms in the air. “Tell me!”
“Mommy’s friend, Billy,” I said. The name felt clunky and foreign in my mouth. “He wanted to get you something.”
Jacob barely acknowledged my comment before diving into the bag and ripping the tissue paper to shreds. When he emerged with the box of Legos, he was grinning and squealing with excitement.
We played together for the next hour, arranging the pieces on the floor of Jacob’s room. He wasn’t so much interested in putting the creation together, but rather making little individual “houses” that looked like clumps of bricks.
“So,” I said casually. “Do you like your present?”
Jacob nodded. “Yes!” His eyes were bright.
I bit my lip. Before I could stop and think about what I was about to say, the words spilled out of my mouth. “Honey, how would you like to spend some time with Mommy and her friend Billy?”
Jacob narrowed his eyes. “Billy?” It seemed like he was hearing Billy’s name for the first time. “Friend?”
I nodded. “Yes, Mommy’s friend,” I said.
Jacob grinned. It caught me off guard – normally, Jacob was so shy that the idea of doing anything social usually frightened him. Sometimes, he didn’t even like the idea of spending time with Elisabeth. But right now, he seemed like there was nothing he’d like more.
“Yes,” Jacob said. He glanced down at the untidy pile of Legos surrounding his legs. “More Legos?”
I laughed. “No, sweetie,” I said. “And you’ll have to thank Billy, won’t you?”
Jacob nodded. “Yes, Mommy,” he said, his attention already diverted back towards the small colorful toys. “Thank you, Billy.”
I chuckled. I felt an odd mixture of panic and relief rising in my chest – what was I doing? Why I had just asked if my son wanted to be around a man I barely knew?
What was happening to me?
I held off on calling Billy for a couple of days. To my shock, Jacob kept bringing him up – it was almost like Billy’s name was his new favorite word, and he said it as frequently as possible. Finally, I called Billy and asked if he was free the next Sunday. Billy offered to take us to the zoo, and I eagerly accepted. The zoo seemed perfect – it was public, just in case something went wrong, and I knew the animals would hold Jacob’s attention for at least a few hours.
Sunday morning, I woke up feeling as nervous as a teenager on the morning of senior prom. I changed three times while Elisabeth kept Jacob entertained in the living room, feeling more distressed with each outfit. I wanted something comfortable, that I could move around in – but also something sexy, so Billy couldn’t take his eyes away.
Finally, I settled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey sweater that skimmed my body and made my breasts stand out. I had to redo my eyeliner three times before I got it right.
“Dating is such a pain,” I said to Elisabeth over Jacob’s head as we waited in the kitchen. “No wonder I didn’t do it for so long.”
Elisabeth laughed. “You look great,” she said. “Billy won’t be able to stop staring.”
Even Jacob said I looked pretty. When Billy knocked on the door, it was all I could do not to rush into his arms and throw my arms around his neck. He looked incredibly handsome in a pair of dark jeans and a cream-colored button down shirt.
“Jacob, this is Mommy’s friend Billy,” I said, leading Jacob into the foyer. “What do you say?”
To my shock, Jacob looked up at Billy and grinned. “Hi,” he said. “Thank you for my Legos.”
Billy grinned. “You’re welcome, dude,” he said. He squatted down. “Nice to meet you.”
Jacob smiled. “Hi,” he said again.
I
gaped. “This is surprising,” I said to Billy as we walked out into the bright sunshine. “Normally Jacob’s very shy. “
“Am not!” Jacob yelled.
Billy and I burst into laughter.
“I can tell,” Billy said with a smirk. He winked at me and I blushed hotly. “You look beautiful,” he said. “I’d love to kiss you.”
I bit the inside of my lip to keep from grinning like a fool.
As we strolled around the zoo and looked at the animals, I kept watching Jacob and Billy. Together, they looked remarkably similar – I was honestly surprised I hadn’t noticed the resemblance before. And Billy was getting quite a few looks from the girls and women around us. I felt as proud as a peacock as we walked through the zoo, almost like a real family. He’s so hot, I thought as I watched Billy lift Jacob into the air so he could see the giraffes. I can’t believe he wants anything to do with me. How the hell did I get so lucky?
Jacob’s attention span started waning towards the middle of the afternoon. The sun overhead was hot and merciless, and soon I was wiping sweat off my brow with the back of my hand.
“Hey, you two stay right here,” Billy said. He pointed to a bench under the shade of a willow tree. “I’ll be right back.”
Jacob eagerly clambered up on the bench. “I’m tired,” he whined. “I don’t wanna walk.”
I nodded. “We’ll rest here for a minute, sweetie,” I said. “I think Billy had to use the bathroom.”
Jacob giggled. I kept waiting for him to start sulking, as he inevitably did when he started getting tired, but instead he bounced and grinned like the happiest kid in the world.
Billy reappeared ten minutes later, holding three giant cups of frozen lemonade.
“I thought y’all could use a drink,” Billy said. He carefully handed one of the cups of Jacob. “Be careful,” Billy warned gently. “That’s mighty heavy.”
I pushed my son’s blonde hair out of his eyes. “Jacob, sweetie, what do you say to Billy?”
“Thank you Billy,” Jacob said dutifully before wrapping his lips around the straw and sucking ferociously.
