by Gordon, Rose
“That’s when we discovered the bite. Oh, Ella, it was the most grotesque thing I’d ever seen or smelled—up until then that is. I saw it a few days later and couldn’t eat a crumb for the rest of the day. It was red and black and bloodied and the edges surrounding the black were half an inch thick with a whitish-yellow fluid.” She grimaced and shuddered at the same time. “It was as if the skin was decaying. Wes came to take a look at it and said it looked like a spider bite from one of those brown spiders with the fiddle-shaped marking on its back. I don’t know why, but their bite causes the flesh to die. Wes and Jack cleaned it as best they could with the limited amount of supplies they had on hand. The next day, Jack bought alcohol and tried to clean it again. But it was of no use, it kept spreading and your moments of consciousness were rare and always seemed to be confusing to you. On the fourth night, it was looking very grim.”
Allison bit her lip, a faraway expression on her face. “You should have seen him, Ella. The poor man had stayed in this room with you the entire time, refusing to accept help from anyone so he could rest.” A wobbly smile took her lips. “He even got in trouble the first day for not reporting to work because he’d been so distracted with trying to get your leg to heal.” She waved a hand through the air. “Anyway, that final night, when it was undeniably apparent that we were going to lose you, Jack had a decision to make. For the first time in days, he left your bedside to go see a man named Dark Moon.”
“An Indian?” Ella gasped in horror. Never in her life had she ever heard of a soldier seeking out—and receiving help from—an Indian. It was positively dangerous.
“Yes. Gray went with him, while Wes stayed in here with you, me, and Mrs. Lewis. Colonel Lewis took the lookout. Talk about a very long four hours. My nails were all bleeding by the time they returned with some medicine from Dark Moon. Then he did it again—”
Ella no longer heard Allison’s words. She didn’t need to. She knew the rest. She recalled the dream she’d had. The one where she’d awakened to having a substance akin to lava being poured on her leg and being forced to drink a foul liquid at the hands of a stranger who wore a stained shirt and had a calm, soothing voice. The stranger she knew she should recognize, but didn’t, and lost all memory of the details of his face as soon as she went to sleep again. He’d been the same stranger who’d touched her with a cool cloth when she was hot and who’d been kind enough to help her when she’d needed—
Suddenly another wave of emotion hit her like a sea storm in the gulf. That was Jack. All of those times, it was Jack. Kind and gentle. Attentive and persistent. Always ready with water or tea. His voice, apologetic and calming when torturing her. Careful when moving her. A sob clogged her throat. What had she done? He’d just spent who knows how long taking excellent care of her, and she’d scorned him and thrown the past in his face. He’d even tried to explain when he’d said something about lifting the sheet to look at something, and she’d snapped at him, accusing him of being a liar and demanding he leave her alone.
“...Colonel Lewis approved orders that he could be excused for a week after you awoke to make sure you could use your leg and get around.”
Allison’s last sentence shook Ella to the core. “What have I done?” she choked, a series of sobs now wracking her body.
“Wh—what’s wrong?” Allison asked, genuine concern filling her voice.
“I—I... This morning....” She tried to catch her breath and think, but it was futile. So much made sense now. Why their room had more in it than the last time she’d looked around. He’d had nothing but time to unpack while she’d slept. Why everyone seemed so concerned about her and asked if she was all right all the time. She’d really been sick. Even why she was in a chemise she didn’t recognize. As she’d suspected, it likely wasn’t hers but was borrowed from one of the other ladies at the fort when they’d needed to change her clothes. With each new realization, another—harder—series of sobs wracked her body until she couldn’t breathe at all.
“There, there,” Allison soothed, wrapping her arms around Ella. “It can’t be that bad.”
“It is,” Ella sobbed. “I said—” sob— “I told him—” sob. She shook her head. “He must hate me.”
“No, he doesn’t hate you.”
“Yes, he does.” She buried her face against Allison’s shoulder. “I don’t belong here.”
“Would you stop with that?” Allison asked, not unkindly.
“I don’t deserve him,” Ella croaked.
Allison sputtered with laughter. “And to think at the start of this conversation, I’d have believed you were convinced that he didn’t deserve you.”
“He doesn’t. He deserves better. He deserves a woman who will listen to him and not shame and demean him in front of others.”
Silence broken only by a soft series of sobs filled the air for a few moments before Allison spoke again. “Is that to mean you’re blaming yourself for why Jack went back to work today?”
“Yes,” Ella cried. She then gave Allison an abbreviated version of the morning’s events and how she’d refused to listen to Jack and had insisted he quit using her as an excuse and return to work.
When she was done, Allison took a deep breath and gave her a quick squeeze. “Ella, Jack isn’t completely without feelings—or fault. If he didn’t tell you everything that happened, then he’ll be understanding. I promise.”
“I know that,” she said, knowing it was true even before she said it. Jack might have seemed irritated at her before, but he’d never come across as heartless or unforgiving. That still didn’t make it right. Words were so powerful. In one moment, they could seem so charged with love and be so fulfilling, while the next they could cut someone to the bone and cause their world to crumble. But of course, not all words held such power. Some words were spoken, but not truly felt. Would he believe her apology was genuine or just forgive her because she was his wife and it was expected of him? “I don’t know how to make this right,” she admitted at last.
“Perhaps you can start by asking the colonel to reinstate his time off?”
Ella frowned. “No. That’s selfish. I deserve to limp and crawl to where I need to go. He shouldn’t be made to take care of me.”
“Then don’t let him. Or at least don’t let him help you more than necessary.”
“Then what exactly is he supposed to do during those days? Ride his horse all day?”
“Sure, as long as you’re up there with him.”
That made little sense. “Why would I be on his horse with him?”
“Because your mission will be to woo him.”
~Chapter Twenty-Two~
Jack slid open the drawer in the desk that he shared with McCorkle and dug around for his matches. The sun was setting and he still had much work to do. After he’d parted company with Colonel Lewis, he’d gone to look for where Gray had taken his men and had been informed that Gray had marched them all south to investigate a rumored dispute. He could have gone after them, he supposed, but no one knew exactly where they’d gone and he didn’t wish to take a chance wandering through the Indian land alone. Instead, he’d gone to his office and sorted through the reports and mail on his desk.
Even without taking any sort of break, he still had a day’s worth of papers to sort through. He groaned and lit the two candles closest to him.
“You do know when the sun is so dim that you must light candles to see, it’s past time you went home?” Wes said from the doorway.
Jack blew out the match and dropped it into the tray at the bottom of the candle. “Do you need something?”
“I was just curious why you were down here working instead of with your wife.”
Wes hadn’t meant to, but he’d struck a nerve. “She prefers it that way,” Jack murmured, then signed his name to the bottom of a document and reached for another.
Wes slapped his hand down on top of the stack of papers in front of Jack. “What is this about, Jack? You know you cannot leave her to spe
nd the evening alone.”
“I know. That’s why I made arrangements for her to have dinner companions.”
“The Lewises do not count as proper dinner companions for your wife, Jack. While they might be very pleasant people who I admire, I can hardly believe you thought it would be a comfortable arrangement for them to all eat in your room—without you,” Wes said, frowning.
“It’s Ella’s room, too, and I’m certain she was there.”
“Yes, I’m sure she was. But don’t you think it might have been uncomfortable for her to explain to the guests you invited that you weren’t going to be joining them? Or worse, when Colonel Lewis explained that to her? And don’t you even think to say you hadn’t thought of that, Jack. Even you are not that foolish to have not considered the possibility.”
“I had. But as I said, this is the arrangement she prefers.” He shrugged then grabbed the edge of the top sheet in the stack of papers Wes had his hand on and tugged it free.
Wes grabbed the paper from Jack’s hold. “I have better things to do with my evening than give you marital advice that even a boy would know. Now, put out the candles and go upstairs.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Jack forced a grin. “Wasn’t it you who said that absence made the heart grow fonder?”
“Well, in this case, it probably isn’t working and is likely only making her heart grow harder.”
“I doubt that’s possible,” he grumbled beneath his breath. “Wes, I know you don’t understand this because your situation was vastly different than mine, but it’s better this way.”
“Which way? You being down here and leaving your wife to spend her evening alone?”
“She’s not alone. I’d imagine that at least Allison, if not the Lewises, too, are with her. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Wes agreed, sitting. He sighed and dropped both hands into his lap. “This is what I tried to warn you about. This isn’t a place for ladies, Jack. You know that. There’s always someone locked in the stockade or a drunk standing with empty alcohol bottles on the barrel in front of the fort. I’ll even take Allison home the long way to avoid having to set eyes upon certain men. Women need protection, but it’s more than a physical thing. There aren’t a lot of women here and they have to find where they fit. Allison struggled with that because her life before coming here had been so vastly different than what was expected of her here. I learned at dinner tonight that Ella grew up living at different forts, but I don’t know if that’s a blessing for you or a curse. With her father’s position as commanding officer, she probably never really knew what conditions were like for the privates and commissioned officers.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish by locking yourself in this room.”
“I already told you—”
“If you’re trying to say that you’re following my advice, then I feel compelled to inform you that you’re only following part of it. I said I’d go to work; that way she’d be excited to see me when I returned. I never said I’d work into the night and let her spend it alone. That would only anger her.”
Jack twisted his lips. “Then she seems to be in the same state she was in when I left her this morning.”
“Have you considered that you’re the one at fault?”
“Yes, I’ve considered it, and then I realized that no, I’m not. At least not the only one,” he finished with a grumble. “This isn’t all my fault.”
“I never said it was.” Wes ran a hand over the day’s worth of stubble that had covered his chin. “You’ve had one of two attitudes with her: all or nothing. There has been no balance in your actions. You either shower her with attention or pretend not to care that she’s upset with you and ignore her completely.”
Jack frowned. “We’ve been married not even a week and a half, during which time, she’s been conscious for less than a collective two days and only not upset with me for a total of no more than six waking hours. Just when was I supposed to find the balance, Wes? I couldn’t very well leave her when she was sick.”
“I never said you should have. What I meant is now that she’s better, you’d do well to find a balance with her. I know you wanted to stay with her to make sure she was healing properly and could get around. I’d be the same way if it were Allison. But perhaps you should leave that to the women so she can have a chance to make friends with them while you’re at work. Then, spend the evening with her. Marriage lasts forever, Jack. There is no need to rush things by spending so much time with her that the two of you will do nothing but argue—”
“I tried that. We played cards.”
“And how did that go?”
“Fine,” Jack ground out. Since when did Wes enjoy talking about relationships?
“Then play cards with her again—in your room, not in the lounge. Take her for a ride.” He grinned. “We have a rounders game coming up.”
Jack scoffed and shook his head. Wes and rounders.
“Whatever you do,” Wes continued. “Just take it slow. This fort is like none of the others. She needs time to adjust to being here and being married...and well, you.”
“Thanks,” Jack said dryly.
“You’re welcome.” Wes stood. “I know I’ve only been married a year and you might disregard everything I just said; but if nothing else, remember that like you when you first came to West Point to find where you belonged, Ella is doing the same. I don’t know what things were like for her where she came from, but she obviously took a chance in coming here. It might take more than the dresses you can bribe Mrs. Lewis and Mrs. Ridgely to make for her, in order for her to find her place.”
Wes’ final words hit Jack like a punch to the gut. He knew Ella needed to find her place—which to his mind was right here with him. Forever. But what he didn’t know was her past. What had driven her to come here? She’d never said why she was leaving her life behind to be a mail order bride in her letters. Nor had he asked. It wasn’t that he had no interest in her past. He did. He had a lot of interest. He didn’t wish to seem rude and push her away. Now, however, it wouldn’t matter what questions he asked her. She already didn’t care much for him.
With a grimace, he pushed to his feet and made his way to their room. He half expected to see Colonel Lewis and his wife when he entered, but instead, the candles were out and Ella lay sleeping in their bed.
In the low haze of the moonlight spilling in through the break in the curtains, Jack undressed and crawled into bed. Tomorrow was a new day, another new beginning, and he certainly had no intention of spending it in the same torment he’d suffered today.
~Chapter Twenty-Three~
Ella woke up the following morning to the sound of knocking.
She looked around the room and realized that she was all alone. She gripped the sheet and pulled it higher over herself. After listening to some of the other wives’ stories yesterday, she had no real desire to make a sound and let people know she was in there alone.
“Ella?” came a muffled female voice through the door.
Ella breathed a sigh of relief. “Just a minute and I’ll unlock the door.” She grimaced as she tried to get out of bed. She touched her bare foot to the soft rug on the floor and tried to stand, but fell.
Less than a second later, the door was unlocked and all of the other wives were rushing in to help her.
Ella flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I can do this.” She tried to stand, but couldn’t, and had to accept help from Allison.
“We would have been here sooner,” Mrs. Lewis rushed, “but Jack only came to inform us you were here alone a few minutes ago. We all thought he’d be here with you.”
So did Ella. At dinner last night, she’d stumbled her way through a brief explanation of how she’d misunderstood the situation yesterday, and the colonel seemed agreeable to grant Jack his requested time off. When Jack didn’t return before the colonel and Mrs. Lewis took their leave, he’d sai
d he’d talk to Jack in the morning about it.
“Did he say anything else?” Ella asked, idly rubbing her knee.
“No,” Sarah Ridgely, who was in her mid-thirties and was the wife of General Ridgely, said. “Just that he needed to be off to marching and asked if we wouldn’t mind spending the day with you.” She smiled. “Not that any of us mind, we’re glad to do it. But after what you’d mentioned yesterday afternoon, we assumed...”
Ella frowned. “I wonder why he’d rather march with his men than be here.”
“Perhaps George hasn’t had a chance to speak with him yet,” Mrs. Lewis offered. She set her sewing basket down on the table. “You didn’t wish to eat breakfast?”
“Pardon?”
Mrs. Lewis lifted a plate that was on the table. “It looks untouched.” She handed it to Ella.
“That’ll be the last time I drink any tea from Allison,” Ella murmured, setting the plate down beside her on the bed. “Not only do I not know when Jack came to bed last night, but I didn’t hear him bring me breakfast this morning.”
“Wes has the same kind of complaint when he drinks my tea. He says it makes him sleep like the dead.”
“It’s probably a good thing,” Sarah said as she threaded her needle. “That you slept so well, not that you missed breakfast with your husband.”
Ella sighed, then picked up the plate Jack had left for her. Sarah was right. It wasn’t such a good thing that she’d missed breakfast with Jack. She’d wanted to talk to him, even if he didn’t want to talk to her—which was abundantly clear after he’d avoided her for dinner and had arranged for her to eat with the Lewises. The dried fruit and chunks of cheese on the plate suddenly looked far less appetizing than they had a moment ago.
