by Linda Ford
They had moved away from the bunkhouse to the clear, fresh air of the nearby pasture and stopped to lean on a rail fence. Burke’s gaze sought the distance but Jenny directed her attention to him. She was not just curious; she wanted to know why things were not as she expected. Something was wrong here, hidden under a current of secrecy and more. For Meggie’s sake she needed to find out what it was.
Burke sighed and slowly brought his gaze back from afar. He stared at the grass at his feet. “I suppose Lena told you about Flora?” He glanced at her.
“Your fiancée?”
“She was.”
Was? But before she could shape or voice the questions roaring through her like wildfire, he sucked in air.
“Flora stayed with a lady in town most of the time. Circumspect, she said. But she came for visits, staying a few days at a time. I gave her the third bedroom and moved out here.” His voice was soft, as if he had gone back to his memories.
Jenny sensed that to say anything, ask any of her burning questions, would make Burke stop talking so she forced herself to remain quiet. But after a few minutes she decided he wasn’t going to say more. “But you said no one has stayed there for months. What happened? What did you argue about?”
“Nothing.” He drew his mouth down in a fierce frown. “Or maybe everything, though I didn’t realize it at the time. She didn’t want to marry until she got used to the place. Maybe I hurried her too much.”
“I’m sure it’s not too late to mend your fences, so to speak.”
At the look in his face, she drew back. Anger. Frustration. Defeat. And then amusement. “Believe me. It’s too late.”
“You need to reconsider. For Meggie’s sake. She needs a mother—”
He made a harsh sound. “Once Meggie gets used to me we’ll do just fine. Be assured, Flora won’t be coming back.” His whole face tightened. “I have no need of a wife.”
Jenny couldn’t find a response. She would not admit that a tiny part of her—a corner of her heart not brought into submission—was glad he seemed so certain Flora no longer had any part in his life. She scolded herself. It made no difference to her. In a few days she would be back home and shortly thereafter announcing her engagement to Ted.
Shouldn’t she have felt something besides resignation at the idea? It was only because this place was so far removed from her real life that the two couldn’t coexist in her mind. Once she returned, she would realize this was only a dream. But what didn’t change were Meggie’s needs and her promise to Lena to see her daughter properly cared for. “Someone needs to take care of Meggie.”
Slowly he faced her, such coldness in his eyes she almost stepped back. Only her stubborn nature enabled her to meet his gaze without flinching.
“I am perfectly capable of caring for her.”
“But—”
“I’ll hear no more argument on the matter.” He turned and called Meggie. “I’ll take you back to the house.”
Anger roared through her. How did he think he could care for a two-year-old and run a ranch? She reached for Meggie’s hand. “I can find my own way, thank you very much.” She hurried away as fast as Meggie’s little legs allowed.
Partway back she realized the humor of her situation. She’d asked God to keep her thoughts pure. To help her remember her promises. She’d thought it would be a fight to deny her attraction to Burke but his rude behavior had cured her. She laughed. God had uniquely answered her prayer. But by the time she reached the steps she didn’t feel so much like laughing as crying. She only wanted to help. Keep her promise to Lena. Burke had no need to act like she’d done something wrong.
She went inside and begged Paquette for a job.
“Clean veranda, you?”
“I’d love to.” She hurried out to tackle the job, leaving Meggie playing in the kitchen. She sorted out bits of harness and hung them from nails. She tossed the boots to the ground, carted shovelfuls of debris to the ash pile back of the house and set fire to it.
She had swept the floor and was on her hands and knees with a bucket of sudsy water and a brush when she heard the thunder of approaching animals and the whistles of men driving them. Leaving her task, she hurried around to watch. Burke threw open the corral gate and Dug drove a herd of horses into the pen. The horses milled around, tossing their heads, manes and tails catching the wind. Black horses, every color of red, a couple of buckskins and two or three pintos.
Jenny laughed softly as excitement coursed through her veins. It was glorious. So much power. So much activity.
Burke dragged the gate shut behind the last horse. Jenny couldn’t make out his words as he called to Dug who edged toward the gate. Burke opened it enough to let him ride through then climbed up to sit on the top rail. Lucky joined them and the three men pointed and nodded.
Jenny wished she could hear what they said about the horses, wished she could join them and be close enough to feel the surge as the horses milled about.
After a few minutes, Dug moved away, taking his horse to the barn. Burke watched the wild bunch a bit longer. Jenny told herself it was the animals she couldn’t take her eyes from but it was Burke she watched. Why was he so set against marriage? No. That wasn’t what she meant. Why was he so set against making up with Flora? Her thoughts bounced around inside her head as if seeking an open door and escape. Regret warred with hope. Caution fought with adventure. Her thoughts were wayward children needing discipline. How often had both Ma and Pa warned her she must learn to control them? She sucked back air until her lungs released then returned to scrubbing the veranda floor. Several times she paused to listen to the horses whinny and neigh but she would not allow herself to return to the side of the house to watch the activity.
Only later, after the men had eaten dinner, full of talk about the horses, and after Meggie had fallen asleep for her afternoon nap, did Jenny slip around the veranda until she could see the pen.
The men seemed to be sorting out the animals. She wished she knew why they were put in different pens. Finally there was only one in the main pen.
Burke threw his lasso around the remaining horse and snubbed the end of the rope to a post before the rearing animal could jerk it from his hands. He edged toward the wild-eyed thing, speaking calmly.
Dug stood by with a blanket and saddle.
Burke intended to ride the horse!
Jenny’s heart leapt to the back of her throat and stayed. She slipped from the veranda and, hoping no one would notice, crossed the yard until she pressed herself against a large post, hiding from view as best she could. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself but she would not miss a moment of this drama.
Burke deftly drew the rope tighter until the horse couldn’t rear. He snagged the blanket from Dug and eased it to the horse’s back.
From where she stood, Jenny saw how the animal’s eyes widened and its nostrils flared. It quivered all over.
Burke waited a moment, all the time talking softly. She couldn’t make out his words but his tone of voice was soothing. A man in control. A man who knew how to still fears. A man—
Stop those wrongful thoughts.
Burke eased the saddle from Dug and gently lowered it to the horse’s back. When he reached under the belly for the cinch, Jenny’s lungs stopped working completely and refused to start again until the saddle was secured and Burke stood back safe and sound. Even then her breath jerked past tense muscles.
He managed to get on a bridle.
He caught the saddle horn.
Every muscle in Jenny’s body quivered as he swung into the saddle.
“Let him go.”
Dug released the rope and the horse exploded, head down, hind legs in the air.
She flinched with every pounding jump but Burke held the saddle like he was glued there. Her tension shifted from fear to excitement and admiration. She no longer watched the horse. Her eyes were on Burke. The alertness in his face as if anticipating every move, the set of his jaw, the way his arms exer
ted such control…
Her eyes burned with longing. Her throat tightened. Oh, if only she could be part of this every day.
The horse stopped bucking.
Dug yelled. “Way to show who’s boss.”
Jenny clapped and cheered. Then she clamped her palm against her mouth. She hadn’t meant to reveal her presence. Did a lady hang about the corrals watching cowboys break horses? She didn’t expect they did and could almost hear Ma’s soft admonition. But it was too late to slip away. Burke had seen her and smiled.
She needed to explain herself. “It’s the first time I’ve seen someone break a horse.”
“These horses are already broke for the most part. Just haven’t been rode in a while so they pretend they’ve forgotten.” He patted his mount’s neck. “Just trying to see if I’m still boss.”
She knew her eyes shone with excitement, admiration and things she wouldn’t confess even to herself. “Will you ride them all like this?”
“Me or one of the boys. It’s not hard work.”
She’d seen the pounding his body took. Looked like hard work to her. Hard and thrilling. “I wish—” She stopped before she could say how much she’d like to try riding a wild horse.
“If you ever want to ride, let one of us know and we’ll saddle up a quiet horse.”
“I might like that.”
Dug cleared his throat. “Hey, boss, did you forget there’s more horses? You want me to ride ’em?”
Burke blinked as if caught at something he shouldn’t have been doing.
Jenny had the same guilty feeling. “I better check on Meggie.” She picked up her skirt and hurried to the house.
Burke watched her go. She’d observed the whole time. He’d seen her slip across and hide behind the post as if she didn’t want anyone to notice her. He noticed all right. With every thought and every nerve ending. She was like a magnet drawing from him feelings he didn’t know he owned. Didn’t want to deal with. It had taken every ounce of his self-control to keep his attention on riding the horse.
And then she’d clapped and cheered. He knew by the way she covered her mouth she hadn’t intended to and it thrilled him more than riding the horse to know he’d managed to edge past her cool exterior. What else lay beneath? What was she really like?
Stupid thoughts. He needed to rope them and ride them into submission.
Instead he watched until she disappeared inside the house.
“She’s different, boss,” Dug said.
“Different than what? Old cheese? Fresh bread?” He hoped his tone would tell Dug to cease.
Dug only laughed. “Different than that other one.”
Seems the men couldn’t bring themselves to say Flora’s name. Not that he could blame them. Flora had been rude and nasty to them. And that was at her best.
“Flora was different, too, to start with.”
Dug was silent—not an easy silence.
Burke turned to see the stubborn look on his face. “What?”
“You only tried to tell yourself it was so.”
“I tried to tell myself lots of things.” That she would change. That he could persuade her she’d get used to things. He no longer believed it and wouldn’t try and convince himself or someone else ever again. “Let’s get another horse.”
He needed to work away his foolishness and he rode horse after horse until his whole body ached. Still every time he paused, his thoughts headed for the house to wonder what Jenny was doing.
He should pack his saddlebags and head out into the distance. He could check the herd. Explore the countryside—
But he couldn’t. He now had a little girl to look after. Things would be a great deal more complicated when Jenny left and Meggie became his sole responsibility. Of course, Paquette would help as much as she could.
He needed to stop worrying. Meggie would adjust quickly and as she grew older, she would learn how to look after herself. Why, by the time she was three, she’d be riding all over with him. Maybe he’d see if he could find a small pony for her….
Jenny wished she could avoid Burke. It seemed the only way she might hope to control her thoughts. But even when she couldn’t see or hear him, her thoughts wouldn’t be so easily controlled.
And then there was Meggie. The sooner she got Meggie used to things, the sooner she could leave. She had hoped to see a more suitable arrangement concerning Meggie’s care, but Burke was her guardian and it was up to him to see to that. She ignored the pricks of her conscience that said Lena expected more.
She could only do so much. She shivered as she admitted her weakness—how this adventure pulled at her thoughts, how Burke was a magnet to them.
She needed to return home before she did anything foolish she’d regret the rest of her life.
Over the next few days, they settled into an uneasy routine. After the evening meal Burke and Jenny would take Meggie for a walk. First, they visited the cats. If it was cool enough they strolled down the trail away from the house; otherwise they wandered about the yard, pausing to speak to the horses or the men.
Jenny often waited until Meggie was asleep for another walk, which took her down the path to the open prairie. She loved the open plains, especially in the evening. Sometimes Burke joined her. Like tonight.
To keep her thoughts from running in forbidden directions she spoke of her family. “Mary is a year older. She got married last fall.” She’d married John Stokes, a man Ma and Pa fully approved of. So many evenings she had overheard their conversation—John is steady. He’ll be good for Mary. A man with a solid future. She heard the unspoken words—they feared their daughters would choose unwisely and suffer a dreadful future. She understood their concern. But sometimes a safe and solid life threatened to imprison her. Surely it was only her current situation—so foreign and exciting—that made it so difficult to control her thoughts. She pulled them firmly back to obedience and continued telling of her sisters.
“Sarah is fifteen.” She chuckled. “Going on eighteen. I think she’s been trying all her life to catch up to Mary and me.” They were a strange trio of sisters. Mary wanting only to be like Ma and Pa. Jenny longing for adventure and excitement and little Sarah trying to grow up too fast.
“Tell me how you met Lena.”
“The first Sunday they came to church I introduced myself. We just seemed to suit each other. She was so full of life. Not afraid of anything.” Only Mark’s opinion carried any weight with Lena. And then Meggie’s needs became foremost. “She was a devoted mother right to her death.” Jenny’s voice thickened. She owed it to her best friend to follow her wishes to a tee. Who would care for Meggie when Jenny left? Paquette? She was fond of the child but so crippled she couldn’t even lift her.
“Have you known Paquette a long time?” Perhaps he would replace her with someone who could manage the child.
“Since I arrived here.”
“She come with the place?” Jenny wanted to know more about the woman and what options might be available.
Burke laughed.
It was the first time she’d heard him so amused and the sound roared through Jenny’s defenses, leaving her struggling to keep from staring at him. Finally, in order to stifle the thrill bubbling to the surface, she bent, plucked a blade of grass and examined it with devout concentration. “Didn’t realize I said anything amusing.”
“This place didn’t exist when I came out here. I’ve built it up from scratch.” His voice rang with pride. “Nothing will make me leave here.”
She wondered at the harshness in his voice. “Can’t see why anyone would want you to.” Her gaze swept the circle of the horizon.
“What do you see?”
A smile started in her eyes, spread to her mouth and smoothed her heart. “I see space. Opportunity.” She allowed herself to meet his gaze. Knew immediately she’d made a mistake as his dark eyes sought and found entry into her heart. They regarded each other silently, exploring—
It was only because she en
vied him living out here in the open, inviting prairie. Nothing more. Nothing that knocked at forbidden doors in her mind.
She sought to escape her treacherous thoughts. When she felt in control, she straightened. “Paquette?” Did her voice sound as hoarse as it felt? “Where did you find her?” She tried to force herself to look some place other than into his eyes but she couldn’t pull away. She realized what she’d said. Find. As if he’d gone looking for Paquette. Hopefully he would understand what she meant to say. “I mean where did she come from?”
His eyes creased with amusement. “You’re right. I did find her. Literally. In a little shelter made of animal hides. She was so sick she couldn’t walk and was on the verge of starving to death.”
“How awful.” The horror of the idea allowed her to shift her gaze away from his intense look. “Why was she alone?”
“She’d been abandoned by her Métis husband when she got sick.”
“That’s terrible. How could he walk away from her, leave her to die?”
Burke sighed. “I expect he figured she was going to die anyway so the best thing he could do was take care of himself.”
Slowly, knowing she risked being caught in a struggle with her wayward thoughts, she brought her gaze back to him. “Is that how people out here feel?” She thought she knew the answer but wanted to hear it from his lips.
“A person ought to be prepared to deal with challenges, inconveniences, whatever they must, in order to fulfill their promises.”
She nodded. “What sort of promises?”
“Like the promise of marriage, whether an engagement or a signed, sealed marriage.”
His voice rang, conveying just how important this was. He would be shocked to know she’d once or twice over the past few days considered reneging on her promise to Ted—or more accurately to Ma and Pa.
Burke continued. “I think there are unspoken promises about family, too. Like Meggie. I will provide her a home no matter what it takes. And even this ranch. I’ve committed myself to it. What sort of man would I be if I simply walked away when things got tough?”
