by Kira Adams
I took a drink of my beer hoping it’d cool the feeling of being on fire but it didn’t. I ran the back of my hand over my forehead, but there was no sweat. I wanted to know what was happening, but at the same time, I was fighting it.
This isn’t what I want.
I didn’t want to be a good person.
I didn’t want to go to Heaven.
I pushed from the barstool so fast it fell over, and I rushed outside.
I needed the cool air on my skin.
I needed a cigarette to calm my nerves.
I needed more alcohol.
“You need to help them!” Oath yelled as she came out the door. Leaning over, I placed my forehead against the concrete building. The cold bit at my skin but it didn’t help. I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t bring myself to use my lighter either, so the cigarette would have to wait.
“It won’t go away until you do something.”
I pushed from the wall. “I don’t know what to do!”
“You have to believe it.”
I glared at her. “Then I guess we’re both screwed.”
“You believed in love once.”
“Don’t fucking go there,” I warned, and went back inside, hoping she’d leave me alone.
Oath must have picked up my stool because it was no longer on the floor. I sat back down and asked for a shot of Tequila.
“You okay?” The man who had been sitting at the end of the bar was now at my side. “Couldn’t help but see what happened.”
This day just keeps getting better.
“Do I look like I need your help?”
He rolled his eyes and put a twenty on the bar. “Maybe you need a few more shots.” When he patted me on the back, fire shot through me and stole my breath. I dropped my head and gasped for air. It felt like smoke had invaded my lungs and I was suffocating from the inside out.
“You need to help them,” Oath whispered in my ear and her hand went to the back of my neck. “Think about her, for one second. That’s all it’ll take. Once second, one flash of her, and you’ll be able to help them.” She squeezed my neck, and a bright light hit the back of my eyes.
“She’s gone,” I choked out.
“You buried her deep inside yourself, but she’s not gone.”
The white light got brighter; my lungs were freezing, but I allowed myself to think of her. Just this once. It was only to get rid of the pain in my body and make this all go away. I knew what would happen the minute I allowed myself to remember her. Was I prepared to sacrifice my sanity, my already dead heart, for some relief from this heat? Thinking of her only brought more pain; pain that never left me since she died. People lied when they said it would get easier. Fuck that, how can life get easier when your reason for living, your entire world, is ripped away from you? No warning. No notice. Just blindsided when your worst nightmare becomes your reality. No, it doesn’t get better; in fact, it gets worse every time I think about her and allow a memory to enter my mind. It is the reminder of what I lost, how far I fell from the man she knew.
“Why are you playing this song?” I asked.
“It’s my favorite,” she replied, biting her bottom lip.
“Why is it your favorite?” I asked even though I knew the answer.
I loved it when she got shy.
Her smile grew and she put her hand out to me.
“You know why.”
I slipped my fingers in hers and pulled her to me.
“Will my handsome husband dance with me?”
“Baby, I’ll always dance with you.”
I felt the heat from her skin seep into my own, making us one. Her frame fit perfectly in mine, and we moved as if we’ve danced a million lifetimes together. Never once did I step on her toes, never once did she try to lead the dance. Her beautiful voice sang softly in my ear, her lips just a breath away. I closed my eyes, living in this moment forever if I could.
“You have it, now use it.”
I screamed out in agony as the painful memory of my beautiful dead wife faded and went back into the darkest part of me. I wanted the pain inside my body to go away. I wanted her to go away. If that meant nudging two people to fall in love, then I guess that’s what needed to be done.
I stopped screaming and I no longer felt Oath’s hand on my neck. The bright light was gone, and I slowly started to open my eyes. My fingers dug into my palm, and this time I felt the sweat on my forehead. The old man was standing in front of me like nothing had happened while pouring me a shot. Oath was standing next to me and had her eyes on the couple at the end of the bar. I was afraid to look but I felt like I had no choice as my head turned toward them, like someone was forcing it. I gritted my teeth as I lifted my eyes to the couple.
They were holding hands.
A small white light, which looked like fog, surrounded them.
They were fucking glowing.
“I can’t do this shit.” I pushed away from the bar and left.
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About the author:
Krista Pakseresht has always been a dreamer, from the first time she opened her eyes, creating worlds through words is one thing she is truly talented at. She specializes in young adult/new adult romance, horror, action, fantasy, and non-fiction under the pen name Kira Adams. She is the author of the Infinite Love series, the Foundation series, the Darkness Falls series, and A Date with the Devil.
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Books by Kira Adams:
The Infinite Love Series
Learning to Live (Ciera & Topher)
Life After (Destiny & Topher)
My Forever (Madalynne & Parker)
Beautifully Broken (Jacqueline & Lee)
Against All Odds (Austyn & Avery)
The Foundation Series
Pieces of Me
The Fighter
The Road Back to Us
Darkness Falls Series
Into the Darkness
Emerging from Darkness
The Darkness Remains
Standalones
A Date with the Devil
Ultimate Game Changer
