My phone chimed two seconds later with a text from Ryan.
Ryan: U LOOKED PHENOMENAL 2NITE! IT WAS GREAT TO SEE U AGAIN. DON'T BE A STRANGER.
I smiled and then thought, oh shit! This was the last thing I needed. I didn’t want to encourage myself or him. So I responded with simply,
Me: THANKS. I PROMISED DIDN'T I?
After I hit send, I went inside and threw my stuff down on the kitchen counter. I grabbed some aspirin and a glass of water. Anything I could do to beat the hangover that I knew was coming tomorrow would be done. I made sure I had my phone and walked straight to my bedroom. Just as I was climbing into bed, my phone chimed again. I grabbed it off my nightstand, ready to tell Ryan I was passing out and I would talk to him later, when I saw a text from Jarrett.
Jarrett: I WANT TO STILL HAVE THAT TALK. I WILL BE BY TOMORROW.
Crap! He was the last thing I wanted to deal with.
Me: DON'T BOTHER ITS DONE BETWEEN US. I WONT BE HERE ANYWAY.
Jarrett: NOTHING IS DONE UNTIL I SAY IT IS.
Can any of you kill me now for being so stupid as to get into a relationship with him to begin with?
CHAPTER 2
The next morning, I woke up instantly thinking about the text I got from Jarrett. I never responded, but something told me he would come by today regardless, which meant I needed to get out of my house. I had no intention of sticking around to hear anything he had to say.
I got up and showered, feeling the need to get all, and I mean all of the bar smell off my body and out of my hair. Being that it was Saturday, I allowed myself to sleep in, but I wouldn't do the same for the whole day.
When I got out to my garage, I realized my car wasn't there. Thank God my brother talked me into buying an SUV with four wheel drive for the snow we get in the winter or I would be trapped. After I turned the key, I realized I hadn't put one thought into where I was going to go. I pulled out my phone and called my parents. Unfortunately, they were at the country club and I had no desire to go there today. Next, I tried my brother. Luckily he was home and told me to come on over.
For the first time in my life, I was nervous backing out onto the street. I prayed Jarrett wouldn't be waiting and luck was on my side, because there was no sign of him. Thank God! It didn’t take long to get to my brother's house, being we lived in the same subdivision, just on opposite ends.
I pulled into his driveway and went through the garage, helping myself inside his home. Hopefully he wasn't doing anything I didn’t want to see.
I called out for him several times before I saw him coming out of the media room.
"Sorry Kate, I didn't hear you come in. What's up?"
"How could you hear anything when you watch movies that loud?"
"Not you too, Mom is bad enough. Anyway, what brings you over?"
"Can't I hang with my little brother for the day without needing a reason?"
"Sure you can. It’s not like you, but I love the idea. Well except for the fact that I'm leaving in a little bit."
"Ash, where are you going and why wouldn't you have told me that before I came over?"
I gave him a smug look and then went to his fridge for a drink.
"I'm not leaving for a while. I still need to shower and get ready."
"So I'm supposed to just sit here while you get ready? That is not what I had in mind."
"Believe me. I'm meeting all of Sadie's friends at a graduation party. I would rather be in your place. Speaking of your place, why don't you want to be there?"
"No reason."
"Bullshit. This is so out of character for you."
I looked away for a brief second. I just wanted to compose myself but Ash knew me too well.
"What's going on, Kate?"
I could no longer hide what I was feeling.
"Jarrett and I broke up last night."
"And?"
"And I kind of pissed him off."
"I hardly believe this was your fault. You put up with way too much. So please explain to me how you upset him?"
I looked away again. This was so embarrassing. Still staring at the floor I said, "He was two hours late to pick me up, so I left."
"Good for you."
"As he was pulling down my street."
"Great for you!"
"I wish I could see as clearly in the relationship as I do out of it."
Ash walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms.
"Don't we all."
I let him hug me a little longer before I broke away and offered to cook him lunch. Anything to keep me busy and away from my house would work.
"What do you plan on making? It has to be quick. Like I said, Sadie is taking me to meet her friends."
"Speaking of Sadie, you really like this one don't you?"
He looked straight in my eyes and said, "I have never met anyone like her. She's just different."
"Good for you. You finally met a normal girl."
"Oh, she is far from normal. So far from normal, that I can't stop thinking about her."
"You do realize you sound like a love sick puppy. Yuck!"
"Kiss my ass. I do not. You just wish you were me."
"Uh, no I don't. I have no desire to hook up with her no matter how special or different she is."
He bumped in to me as he passed by on his way to the fridge, laughing out loud. "Don't worry. I've already told her I'm not sharing with anybody. She's all mine once she is mine."
That threw me. "What do you mean once she is? Are you not together?"
This time it was Ash's turn to look away and I gave him his time. We have all been there; when we don't know what information we want to give away. He finally looked back up at me and said, "She has this thing with another guy. I don't really know what is going on with them anymore, but I know what I want. She needs to decide if it’s me she wants before we move forward. "
I took a step back. My little brother seemed to have more sense than me at the moment.
"Ash, that is so good to hear. I mean, it’s not good that she doesn't know what she is getting with you, but it’s great that you respect yourself enough to not take what's left over."
"It’s not like that, even though I know that is exactly how I said it is. I don't want you to get the wrong idea of her. The last thing I want is for that to happen because I made her sound bad. She is amazing, Kate. She is worth waiting a lifetime for. And I will wait, because I know in the end that I will have her."
His confidence struck a chord with me. If my little brother could stand that strong then so could I. Jarrett can kiss my ass.
"I believe you. She just better not take too long. With this new side of you, I know plenty of girls who would love a chance to have a man like you. Hell, I would do anything to find one man that is as good as you."
Ash walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me again.
"It will happen for you, girl. I know it will. You just need to stop wasting your time with all the douchebags and make space for a good one to come along."
I pulled back from his hug and smiled at him, knowing he was right. I needed to change the subject, because quite frankly I was sick of the whole 'woe is me' conversation.
"Enough already. What do you want to eat, I'm starving."
"I don't care. Whatever it is, it has to be quick. Sadie will be here soon and I have to get ready."
"Sandwiches it is then."
I went to work, getting everything out and piling it on. We both grew up with an Italian mother that loves to cook. There were no skimpy sandwiches or anything else for that matter in our upbringing.
When I finished Ash's, I slid the plate across the counter to him and went back to making my own. His first bite let me know I had done it just the way our mother would have. His second moan had me laughing.
"Ash, it is a sandwich not sex. I don't need to picture what you sound like during it while I'm eating."
He about spit his food out he was laughing so hard.
"It�
��s about as good as an orgasm and truthfully it’s been so long since I've had one, this sandwich might just get me there."
"Asher!!! Way too much information. Way, way, too much! I am your sister for God’s sake and I think I might have just lost my appetite."
"Good. Then slide that baby on down too. Nothing like getting my fill, if you know what I mean?"
"I'm done! Here." I slid my plate to him. "Have it, you disgusting pig."
He laughed harder than I have seen him in a long time while I pouted like a little kid would.
He pushed the plate back to me saying "I'm full or I would eat that too. I need to go jump in the shower anyway, so eat in peace. I’ll be back to give you more shit in a minute."
He pushed himself off the counter and turned to walk away. I love my brother something fierce, but God he can be so disgusting at times.
I picked the sandwich up and after taking a bite, I found myself making the same noise he had. Ewww! That is just plain gross. But God was the sandwich so good.
After I finished eating, I started to clean up. Everything was put away and I was just finishing wiping down the counter tops when I heard the doorbell. I wasn't sure if I should answer it or not, so I stayed in the kitchen, pretending to still be cleaning. It rang again. Surely Ash heard it this time. The counters have never been so clean by the time I heard him answer the door. I walked closer, but not to where they could see me. I wanted to know what the fuss was all about with this girl. When I saw her, it all made sense. I noticed Ash's demeanor change the second the door opened. She was adorable. Short, petite and cute as a button. Her long hair finished it off because it was so thick and laid perfectly down her back. She was nothing like my brother's usual type. They made for a perfect couple.
I listened closer and heard them talking back and forth about the fact Ash answered the door still naked and wrapped in a towel. Leave it to my brother to do something so crass. Nothing was funnier than when I walked up introducing myself though. Her face was priceless. It turned the most awkward shade of red, that it almost looked purple.
"It’s nice to put a face to the name I have been hearing so much about lately. You're very pretty." And she was. The more I looked at her the more beautiful she became. Her embarrassment only got worse as Ash teased her about the towel he was wearing. Sadie had made a comment about what she would do to him and he just ran with it. This girl had a lot to learn about my brother if this has got her all upset.
"Ash, shut up!"
Yep, she was never going to last. I felt I needed to help her as best I could, so I just said, "It’s okay Sadie, I heard you too. You guys go have fun today and I will call you later Ash."
"Is that when you want the details?" He just couldn't help but humiliate her and I could do nothing to ease her pain. The only thing I could think of was to say, "It's fine, he's my little brother, I’m used to it. See ya later. Sadie, it was very nice meeting you."
I looked back at my brother giving him a warning look. He was in for it and sure enough, as soon as I closed the front door on my way out, I heard her scream, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
I laughed under my breath as I got in my car. I don't see it lasting for them, which is too bad. They could be great together. I started the car and backed out of his driveway before the thought even hit me, now where the hell do I go?
I called Kara to see what they were up to but of course they had plans. My office was the last place I wanted to be on my day off but I refused to go home yet. "This is pathetic," I said to myself.
Why do I drop everyone when a man comes into my life? Normally Jarrett and I would be doing something together, not me going to sit at a desk looking over more paperwork. I drove there in a daze wondering what was next for me. I had been so desperate to find a man that would be perfect for me that I was making them up in my head. Never had Jarrett had any of the qualities that I dreamed of in a man.
Coming out of my own pity party, I looked up and found that I had already reached my work parking lot. Never in a million years would I have thought he would be here.
"Shit!" I said, once again to myself.
I parked and got out of my car reluctantly. There he was, standing against the door of my building, dressed clad in his standard jeans and button down shirt. I walked over hesitantly but was forced to hold eye contact once it was made.
When my feet made their final move, I found myself in front of him. He spoke first which only made things more awful.
"I thought you might come here. Why didn't you call me?"
What words could I use to get out of this situation? To hell if I know either. So this came out of my mouth.
"Ryan, how did you know?"
"Well, let’s see, I know you probably heard from him last night. I also know that if you did, then you bolted out of bed and left before you had to face a confrontation with him. Since I talked to Chad earlier and he said you were wanting to hang out with Kara again today but I knew she was busy, I figured you would come here. Oh, and I was right. Does that answer your question?"
I had no choice but to laugh. I was just called out on how pathetic I am. If you can't find humor in yourself then you’re just screwed.
"I'm that readable, huh? Well thanks for pointing out all my faults. What are you doing here is the one thing you left out?"
"I'm here for you. Time to go have some fun, don't you think?"
What can you say to a great friend that has your back when you need it the most other than, "What do you have planned?"
Ryan looked me over and then said, "Let’s go find some trouble to get into."
"No, no and no again, Ryan Eaton. I'm not doing that again. You got me in so much trouble last time I had to get my dad to help me out of the charges."
"Come on, sissy. We won't get caught this time. You just can't scream again and we will be fine."
Ryan seemed to think it’s funny to set all the car alarms off at the same time in parking lots. I have to admit it was fun running to each car as fast as we could and lifting the handle. And of course it was the parking lot of the country club my parents are members of. It was like being ten years old again.
"Come on, Kate. We need to get your head out of the mess it’s in. Live a little."
"Ryan, I'm all for living. I just don't look forward to getting arrested again if that's okay."
He looked at me with a smirk and said, "I have another idea. Now get in my car. You can leave yours here."
I never knew what Ryan could conjure up from one minute to the next, but I didn't want to sit in my office all day either. So, reluctantly I went along with his plan.
After we got in his car and started driving away, Ryan grabbed my hand and put it in his. He didn't even glance in my direction, like it was so natural of an action to do. For some reason, I felt things shifting between us and I wasn't sure I was as willing of a participant. All of us had been so close since college and I didn't want to rock the boat. My track record with men was far from good. Before I could decide what to do about the situation, he was stopping the car and telling me that we were here.
"You can't be serious. I am not eight years old, Ryan."
He didn't even blink when he turned to me and said, "Kate, you get so wrapped up in where you want to be in your life. How about you just enjoying the moment like a kid does? They aren’t worried about their future, only living in the now. So stop thinking too much and let’s do this."
I couldn't believe how right he was. That one comment led me to let go of his hand, open my door and head to the roller skating rink in front of us with my head held high. Ryan followed close behind me until we reached the door where he held it open for me like the gentleman that he was.
The place was empty, thank God. I hadn't skated since I was a child and I didn't trust myself not to look like an ass. We stood there for a moment, just taking the place in, when Ryan turned to me and said, "Is it even open and running? I don't see anyone working."
"Well, I would be oka
y with it if we skipped this whole idea and grabbed a milkshake."
"Hello, welcome. I didn't hear you guys come in. Will you be looking for a price sheet?"
I followed the voice, until it led my eyes to a teenager with purple hair, smacking gum, covered in piercings.
"Do you charge multiple prices?"
"Duh, of course there are different party packages."
Ryan stares open mouthed at me as I press her to explain.
"Do I look like I want to have a party?"
"Well then why are you here?"
"Yes Ryan, why are we here?"
His open mouth turned into a shit eating grin, "We are here to skate today, not plan a party. Can we do that?"
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I just assumed you were planning a party for your child. My bad, sure you can skate. Do you need skate rental?"
"Does it look like we carried in bags with our own?" Little bitch. That's what she gets for assuming. Ryan walked over and took my hand to settle me down, it wasn't working.
"You don't have to get snotty with me. I just asked a simple question."
This little girl just wouldn't stop. I was ready to leave. There was no way I was going to find any fun there, with it being just us and the brat. I turned to Ryan just as he said low in my ear, "She won't win. You and I are going to do this regardless of that little rainbow bright. Do you hear me?"
Then he turned to her and said, "Yes, we need skates. Size ten for me and seven and a half for my friend."
He stressed friend, knowing that would also help my mood. He knew it bothered me that she assumed we were married with children, bringing my self-pity right back to the forefront of my mind. I watched the pixie dote off and pout. Haha! At least she wasn't gloating.
"Stop wallowing and take your shoes off. We’re going to roller skate it if kills us both."
He gave me a nudge to get me to smile, which came naturally from looking at his beaming face.
Ryan was definitely attractive. Women always tried to get his attention wherever we went. I have always just been careful with keeping the friends that I have friends. He just knew how to bring something more out of what we shared. It could confuse me at times, but I knew to stick with my decision.
Fearing Regret Page 2
