"Don't ever let me go, promise me. If I'm yours, then keep me."
"Is it wrong to say that I'm falling for you so hard and so fast but I'm no longer scared? I'm not a twenty year old guy that wants to play games and drag things out to compete with my friends. I'm old enough to know when you find something as right as what we are starting, you hold onto it with your life."
"How old are you anyway?"
"Really? That's what you ask when I put myself out there for you?"
"Don't avoid the question."
"I'm thirty two, how old are you?"
"I turned thirty a couple of months ago."
"Wow, you're older than I thought. Forget what I said, I need a younger one if she plans on keeping up with me."
I smacked him in the arm playing around and attempted to push him off of me.
"Oh no you don't, this is my home. I'm staying right here until I'm ready to go again."
"Again?"
"See, told you I need younger."
We both laughed. Tony took a hold of my leg and lifted it over his head just so he could roll over and spoon me. Never leaving where he was now, obviously calling his home.
Facing away from him yet still wrapped in his arms, we said nothing more. Our breathing slowed and I knew sleep was pulling us under. Just as I was about to surrender I heard him say "Thank you" and then I was asleep.
CHAPTER 13
The next morning I woke up starving. It took me a second to realize where I was and another one to remember that I forgot to eat dinner the night before. I could smell coffee brewing and something amazing cooking. It didn't take me long to go to the bathroom, finger brush my teeth and head out into the kitchen.
"Good morning, handsome."
He had been chopping but when he heard me he looked up with a smile that would melt your heart. It definitely did mine. It didn't hurt that he wasn't wearing a shirt either.
"Well hey there, sexy. I was hoping I could have this all done before you woke up, so I could surprise you in bed."
"I'll be sure to remember that the next time I stay here. Sleeping in doesn't sound like a bad idea ever."
"Why are you up already? Was I too loud?"
"Not at all, I just need to get going into work."
"Do you have any meetings scheduled?"
"Not until the afternoon, why?"
He walked over to me and pinched my nipples. "Because there is no way with you standing naked in my kitchen that I'm letting you go this early."
"Well, let’s see. First, I no longer have any bottoms remember, you shredded them. Second, my clothes are out here and you didn't leave me an alternative sitting out anywhere."
"Hell no I didn't. Why would I want you to cover that body up?"
"Third, I have plans to meet with Ash later this morning and I would like to not look like I have been fucked sideways if you know what I mean."
"That is exactly how I prefer you, but I get it. What are you and Ash meeting up for?"
"He wants to make some things for the nursery."
"Your brother is a good man."
"Yes, he sure is."
"So, I don't want to come off as a controlling asshole, but I do want to ask you what your thoughts on telling everybody are?"
"I really hadn't thought about it. Truthfully I don't think it's any of their business, yet at the same time it is. With you being best friends with Sadie and Ash being my brother, what happens if this doesn't work? Not that I'm saying it won't, but do we want to hear what they think?"
"I agree completely. Before we tell them anything, let’s see if we can stick this out first."
"Are you dooming us from the start?"
"Not at all. We can tell them today if you want, but what would we say?"
"Well then it’s decided, we wait."
He leaned down, lifted my chin and kissed me again. I love those lips!
I walked back into the family room, gathered my stuff and then put on what there was left of it.
"Your breakfast is ready."
Watching him be so domestic- half naked to boot- was picture perfect. Literally! When he turned to wash a dish off in the sink, I grabbed my phone and took one. As he turned back around, I threw it behind me leaving no evidence.
"Did you just take a picture of me?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Really, you are going to use a lie on me with this?"
"I have no idea why you would think I'd be lying to you."
He walked over to me and took my hand, leading me back to the sink he just abandoned.
"Do you see what I see?"
"Do you hear what I hear?"
He just stared at me.
"What? You seriously don't know the song?"
"Oh, I know what song it is, why you felt the need to sing it is beyond me."
"Hey! I can sing."
"No baby, you can't."
"That's not true."
"I, unlike you, don't lie."
"How are you so sure that I'm lying to you?"
"Again, can you see what I see?"
"Again, well not really, it just sounded cool when you said it. No, what the hell am I supposed to be seeing?"
"Fine, wait right here."
I stood in place, while he walked back to where I had been when this all started. And then I saw it. The reflection in the window showed him clear as day. When my face read guilty, he started to wave.
"Hi baby, do you see me yet? Wait, don't move." He ran for his phone and started taking picture after picture.
I hated to admit it but I was caught and had no choice.
"All right, I did it! I took your picture!"
"Can I ask you a few questions?"
"Sure."
"Why would you want to take a picture of me washing a dish and why the hell would you lie about it?"
"I was embarrassed. I thought you looked good standing there and I wanted to remember it. Thanks for making me feel like a creeper."
"Oh woman, you did that yourself. Now, if you want some pictures, all you have to do is ask. I will pose for you anytime you want. Now, go eat before it gets even colder."
Humiliated, I walked over to the table, sat down and started to pick at my food.
"What's the matter, is it gross?"
He made eggs, bacon and fresh fruit, how can that be gross?
"No, it's great, thank you."
"Are you really going to lie again? You have a major problem with this and you need help." He started to laugh.
"You find this funny?" I got up and walked straight out the front door.
"Don't you dare get in that car."
"Whatever Big Man, I don't have to listen to you."
I reached my car, had the handle in my hand when, "I swear to God if you open that door you will regret it!"
My middle finger flew up in the air as I got in and closed the…
The door was almost closed. I almost had it! It was back open and in no time I was riding back to the house over Tony's shoulder. Once we crossed the threshold, he kicked the door shut and spanked the hell out of me.
"Ouch! What the hell Tony!"
Whack.
"Shit! Put me down!"
Whack.
"Motherfucker, if you hit me again..."
Whack.
"I hate you!"
He put me down, but grabbed me by the shoulders, holding me back so I couldn't kill him myself.
"You hit me!"
"No I didn't, I spanked a spoiled brat."
"What did you just call me?"
"If you act like one, I'm going to treat you like one."
"Why not just let me leave?"
"Because I wanted you to stay."
"What if I don't want to be here anymore?"
"Why, because I called you out on another one of your lies? They are for no reason and yet you still do it. And guess what, I'm going to continue pointing them out. I'm not quitting until you start making at least an effort, but there is n
o way in hell you are going to stomp your feet and run away from a problem either."
"You are not my dad; I have one of those already!"
"No I'm not! I'm just a man falling in love with you and I demand some fucking respect."
"Really? Now? You throw that out there now like it's going to make me stop dead in my tracks, run and leap into your arms, screaming ‘Me too’! Well guess what? I'm pretty sure I already do but there is no way I'm telling you that now!"
"What did you just say?"
"I have no idea, can I go now, Master?"
"Just stop okay. I'm serious, please tell me what you said."
"I have no fucking idea what I just said, I'm pissed off and I want to leave. Now."
"No."
"You can't do this. You can't tell me no and that be it. I don't like you right now and I want to leave."
"You may not like me but you looovvveee me."
"Like hell I do."
"You just said you did two seconds ago."
"Keep dreaming, Big Man."
"I'm starting to not like that so much anymore."
"Then let me just say this, BIG MAN, I'm never going to call you anything else!"
"Keep it up Kate, and you’re going to get it again."
"Kiss my ass, Big Man!"
"That's it."
He picked me up effortlessly, disregarding the fact that I was thrashing around, doing everything in my power to get down. When I landed back on his bed, he jumped on top of me and began to tickle the crap out of me. I fought as hard as I could, but there was no way to avoid laughing. He got me under the arms, on the inside of my thighs, the sides of my stomach and wouldn't stop until I gave in. When all of my energy was spent, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard. At first I refused to kiss him back but he maneuvered himself between my legs and with every subtle shift, he ground himself into me. My own body betrayed me as it returned each grind with one of its own. Before I knew it, I was stripping my clothes back off and we were having the best sex yet. This time it was softer, more even paced. Tony looked into my eyes the whole time he moved in and out of me. I couldn't help but stare back at the man who infuriated me but who was starting to consume me also. I didn't want to admit it, even to myself yet but I knew it was true. I was in love with Tony Harrison.
I think he saw it in my eyes, like somehow he could read my mind. Nothing else can explain why a smile took over his face right as I finished my thought. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me more passionately than ever before while moving himself deeper, making sure to work the spot he knew I needed. My muscles started to contract as a flood gate opened. His arms went under mine, gripping onto my head, as he held himself within me, spilling everything he had right along with mine. Neither one of us screamed out anything, yet that one simple act solidified it all.
He had me pinned down, which was fine for a while but I really needed to go to the bathroom.
"Tony."
"No."
"I need to go..."
"You’re not leaving."
"If you would let me finish, I need to go to the bathroom."
"Do you promise not to leave when you're done?"
"I can't stay forever you know."
"Why not?"
"I really need to pee, Tony. Come on, get up."
He rolled off of me on to his back, putting that magnificent body of his on display.
I went to the bathroom and when I came out, I found him in the same spot.
"I have an idea."
His eyes had been closed but he opened one of them, peeking at me and said, "What would that be?"
"Just hold on, don't move. I will be right back."
I ran for my phone. I was in such a hurry to leave, that I forgot I left it on the couch where I threw it to begin with. I raced back into his bedroom and just like I asked, he was still naked as the day he was born, sprawled out on his bed.
"You said I could take pictures, so I'm letting you know ahead of time, I'm taking pictures."
I surely would have thought he would move to cover himself up, but he didn't budge an inch. He lay perfectly still as I snapped picture after picture. He then rose up, resting his head in his hand, watching me. Every muscle was so defined. It was like a road map. You just wanted to follow where each line would take you. I couldn't help but keep snapping the camera.
"Are you having fun?"
"Without a doubt, you are amazing to look at."
He sat up and held his hands out for me to join him back on the bed. I climbed back up and let him take my hands, leading me into his arms. He hugged me. Not many people hug intimately, but they should. He squeezed, just tight enough for me to feel what he need me to feel. When he pulled back he said, "I'm sorry."
"You're forgiven."
"Kate, please don't lie to me. If you can lie so easily with the small things, how can I ever trust you to be truthful when it counts?"
"I'm sorry too. I will try my best to never lie to you again. But Tony, I really need to get going."
"Damn, I thought you would change your mind and stay in bed with me for the rest of the day."
"Don't you have to go in today too?"
"Yeah, actually I do. Will I see you tonight?"
"If you're lucky."
"I hope I'm more than lucky then."
I got my clothes back on, kissed him goodbye and walked out to my car. Funny that thirty minutes ago I was getting pulled from this very spot. Goes to show you how stupid love can be.
I rushed home, showered, got ready and was at the country club an hour later. I hate this place. The people here are so pretentious. When I walked into the dining area, I found Ash already waiting for me.
"Well don't you look beautiful!"
"Thank you so much."
He stood from his chair while I walked around the table to give him a hug. We both sat down but it wasn't long after that Ash was saying, "Why do you look different?"
"What do you mean?"
"I can't tell what it is just yet specifically. You just look happy."
"Am I normally not?"
"I don't mean it like that, I'm just saying..."
"Oh quit digging yourself in deeper, I'm happy, let’s move on. Sooo, did you guys have fun at the wedding?"
"It was a blast! Sadie was exhausted by the end but it was by far the best day of my life."
"I'm so happy for you. What were you thinking about making for the baby?"
"I was thinking about a crib."
"That would be so cool, Ash!"
"I'm going to need Dad's help but yeah, that's what I want."
"For you and Dad to do this together for the baby, it will mean so much to him or her and Sadie. Does she know?"
"Not yet. I'm not sure if I want to surprise her or not."
"Regardless, it's going to be amazing. What did you need my help with?"
"I was hoping you could help Sadie out if she needs anything. She's so stressed with work and everything coming with the baby and all."
"That's a given, Ash. I will help any way that I can. What about a shower? Can I throw her one?"
"She and I talked about that and feel like with as lucky as we are financially, there is no reason to ask people to buy us gifts."
"That's silly; it's not about the gifts. It's about celebrating the life that you two created."
"Kate, you have to understand, we just had a wedding. She doesn't want another party. She's juggling so much and I am rarely there to help out. I'm almost done with school, but right now I can't devote any more time to anything."
"I get it. Hopefully things can get a little easier on you when the baby comes."
"Yeah right! This is a baby we are talking about. Nothing will be easy."
We both started to laugh. He was right. They were about to be parents.
Nothing is easy about that.
"I wanted to talk to you about something else. You just have to promise not to get mad."
"When you say it like that, how
am I supposed to know how I'm going to feel? I will try, but that's all I can promise you."
"I want to know why the fuck you didn't tell me about Jarrett. I'm your brother, how could you not have told me when you came to my house?"
I wanted to be angry at my parents for telling him but he's right. I should have told him and I can see how hurt he is that I didn't.
"Ash, I'm sorry. When I came over, I just wanted to avoid talking to him. That was all it was at that point. That day ended up to be worse than any bad dream I've ever had, but I swear I didn't know anything yet when I saw you."
"So, why did I have to find out the way I did?"
"I don't have an answer that will make you happy, but the truth is I didn't want you involved. He is a sick man. You could get kicked out the academy if assault charges came against you. Ryan took care of him and me. I'm okay."
"I have never liked Ryan more than I do now. He did what I should have done, but at least you're safe."
"I really am sorry I didn't tell you.
"I love you, Kate. Don't be afraid to let me help you. That's what I'm here for."
"Thanks, I love you too."
The rest of the time was relaxed. We joked around, laughed a lot, we were just being us. I eventually had to get to work, so I kissed him goodbye and told him I would be sure to check up on Sadie for him as promised.
Work dragged on that day, but the texts I received from Tony made it easier to pass the time.
Fearing Regret Page 17
