Her little head tilted down and about broke his heart. He’d done this. He’d let her get attached. He’d do better in the future. He brushed his palm against her dark hair. “Let’s see that homework.” He skimmed through it. “Perfect. You’re a genius. A pure genius.”
“If we see Ms. Sadie and Jack in the park, can I still play with him?”
“Of course you can.”
He got up to stir the pasta. He was going to have to be much more careful.
* * *
THE PHONE WOKE him from the doze he hadn’t known he’d slipped into. The book he’d been reading had fallen to his chest and slipped to the floor as he reached for the phone. He scrubbed a hand across his face.
“This is Wyatt.”
“Hey. It’s not too late to call, is it?”
Sadie. He swung his legs over the edge of the couch and sat up. Her voice was soft, hesitant and made him long to pull her into his arms. “No. Are you okay?”
She breathed into the phone for a moment. “Yes. I called to apologize about today.”
“Accepted. Obviously something happened to upset you. Is it anything I can help with?”
“Not really.”
She sounded as exhausted as she’d looked that afternoon. He leaned back and put his feet up on the coffee table. The silence stretched out.
“Last night was fantastic,” she said low and whispery.
“That’s a fact.”
“I wish we’d met under different circumstances. I’m...I’m struggling with some stuff here. I don’t think I’m in a good place.”
He let his head fall back against the couch back and rubbed at his chest. He wished they’d met under different circumstances also. Like ones where his entire presence in her life wasn’t based on a lie. He closed his eyes. Which was a mistake because with her breath whispering in his ear, his mind offered up the memory of her in his arms.
“I understand. I wish that, too.”
“So, we’re good? Apology accepted?”
“Apology accepted, but we’re not good. I have a few things I want to say to you.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. Number one. You are not a loser. I know I don’t know everything, but I’ve heard enough. You had a crappy childhood. Raised in foster care, out on the street at eighteen. Maybe statistically you should have ended up a loser, but you didn’t. You built a successful business.”
“That’s different.”
“How’s it different? Tell me.”
“I wasn’t talking about my business when I said I was a loser.”
“Then what?”
“Me. Me. I’m a loser. I don’t know how to care for people.”
He couldn’t stop the burst of incredulous laughter. “You? All you do is care for people. Josh. You took him in off the street, right? Gave him a job. Gave him a life. Your guys love you because you care about them. I’ve heard them talking. You paid for one of them to fly home for his aunt’s funeral. You care for them.”
“That’s still different.”
“What are you talking about then? Who don’t you know how to care for?”
She didn’t answer and he heard a muffled sniffle.
“What happened today?”
“My past came back to haunt me. I’m sorry. I didn’t call to cry on your shoulder. I’ll let you go now.”
“Wait. I have one more thing to say to you. About the way you came through for Jules and the curler thing. You went out of your way to keep a small promise. It says a lot about how much you care for others.”
“After I forgot about it.”
“I forgot, too.”
She didn’t respond. He thought he’d made her mad. Which he didn’t really mind. He liked a sassy Sadie better. “She asked if she could still play with Jack if we saw you in the park.”
“Is that what you want? To be friends?”
“I think you and Jules can be friends.”
“But we can’t?”
“I don’t think I can be just friends with you.”
“Friends with benefits?”
There was a definite increase in the snark level. It made him smile. “No, I think I’d want more.”
He waited. Molly had warned him. The closer he got to her heart, the more she’d push away. He needed her to push away. He was playing a dangerous game here. His logic knew he should walk away before she knew he’d lied to her. His heart didn’t want to let her go.
“I don’t know if I have it in me.”
He pressed his lips together to stop himself from continuing to try drawing her out. Walk away while you’re ahead. “Wrong place, wrong time.”
“Tell Jules I hope I’ll see her at the park.”
Wyatt held the phone to his ear long after she’d ended the call. A crazy idea was circling his mind. Tell her. Sit down and tell her everything. Beg for forgiveness. She liked direct. She respected honest. He put the phone down and got up. He made his rounds. Checked the locks. Checked the lights. Stopped to watch Jules sleeping in her bed. Then he went to stare at his ceiling.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SHE HADN’T BEEN avoiding him. Not really. Maybe a little. She’d been around the morning after her phone call, seeing the guys off and making sure the day started smoothly. Wyatt had been there briefly. The heat in his gaze knocked her a bit off-kilter. He’d broken the eye contact, but as he left he’d given her shoulder a little squeeze.
This morning, she was pretending she wasn’t hiding in her office, letting Josh handle the morning rush. It was Wyatt’s last day. She couldn’t face him. She was having crazy thoughts. Like why does it have to end? Why can’t they try? Truthfully, why couldn’t she try? And therein lay the problem. It was her. She knew herself well enough to recognize the urge to run from anything that made her feel vulnerable. Talking to Grant had amped her flight response to critical levels. Since she couldn’t lash out at him, she’d taken it out on the closest target. Wyatt.
She sighed and rubbed at her face. Concentrate. Wyatt’s quitting left a hole in her teams. Aaron needed an experienced partner but she couldn’t put him with Noah. Those two were too close. Fraternity brothers. That was asking for trouble. She sighed again and shifted through the papers. DeShawn was coming back on Monday. She could put Aaron with him for a while. But maybe he’d need a break from having a new guy. And it still left Noah without a partner...
She pushed the papers away and reached down to grab the jelly-bean jar. She swung her feet up on the desk and sifted through them. Cinnamon and vanilla cream. Yuck. Strawberry and vanilla cream. Better. Why couldn’t she concentrate? A memory of Wyatt’s face above her filled her vision. Her hands on his jaw, stubble rough beneath her fingertips. Watching the lines of pleasure etched on his features. She sighed. Those thoughts were not helping.
She swung her legs down and paced around the room, Jack alert to her every move. In case she started dropping doggy treats or something. You’re in love. She stopped in her tracks.
No.
Yes, you are.
No. Her heart pounded against her ribs and she wiped her suddenly clammy palms against her hips. She didn’t do the love thing. But that’s what it was. She didn’t want to let him go. Didn’t want to let him walk away.
She returned to the desk and the papers stacked there. Tell him. Oh, that’s not gonna happen.
Why not? She set the papers in order. Put the jelly beans away. Wiped up the slosh from her cup of coffee. Lined up her pens. Doesn’t matter. He’s leaving. She straightened from her slump.
He’s not an employee anymore. Tell him. Tell him you want to...to what? What do you want to do? Her hormones sent out a surge. Besides that! Date?
Didn’t matter. She’d never be able to do it. The very idea made her nauseous with th
e stress of it. What if he said no? What if he said she was crazy? She’d certainly given him enough evidence of that over the past few days. Unbalanced. Unfit to be around Jules.
“Why are you torturing yourself with this?”
Jack lifted his head and gave her the one-ear-up head tilt that never failed to make her smile. Even today.
“Your owner is crazy, Jack. Do you know that?”
He put his muzzle on his front paws and did the doggie eyebrow thing. Goofball. She put her forehead down on the desk. Damn. You are in love with him. Only question left now is what are you going to do about it? Two options. Tell him, or let him walk away. She pulled the pile of paper closer. She had an exit interview scheduled with him for whenever he and Noah finished up for the day. She and Molly would go over paperwork, make sure everything was in order. Her stomach jiggled around in her gut at the thought, but a goofy grin kept appearing on her lips while she made her way through the never-ending forms on the desk. Maybe she’d work up the nerve to say something by then.
She managed to get her seesaw emotions under control and finish off most of the paperwork mountain. Until Molly tapped on her door. “We’re set up and ready in the conference room.”
Her heart rate immediately jumped a few notches but this morning’s giddy swirl of emotions was replaced by a towering fear. No way. There was no way she could do this. No way she could confess her feelings. She followed Molly down the hall to where Wyatt was waiting at the table. She hesitated at the door. He was staring down at his hands with a troubled look on his face.
“Wyatt?”
He looked up and smiled but the smile quickly fell away. Sadie and Molly sat across from him. He smiled again but there was something in his eyes. Some emotion Sadie couldn’t quite identify.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said.
“Jules?”
“She’s fine.”
Sadie sat back and studied him as Molly went through the paperwork. He was nervous, she finally realized. She’d never seen him like this before. His eyes kept meeting hers and sliding away. He nodded and signed where Molly pointed without comment. A dim bit of hope began to grow. Maybe he wanted to say the same things to her that she wanted to say to him. Maybe he didn’t want this to be over, either.
“That’s all.” Molly announced as she gathered the papers. “We’re sorry to see you leaving so soon but hope the best for you in your new job.”
“Thank you,” Wyatt replied, his eyes on Sadie.
Molly glanced back and forth between the two of them. “Well, then. I’ll leave you two to...talk.”
When the door shut, Sadie leaned forward on the table. “Want to tell me what’s really wrong now?”
He sat back and scrubbed a hand across his jaw. “No. But I will.”
That didn’t sound as if he was about to ask her out for dinner and movie. The trickle of fear came back.
He reached out and covered her hands with his, his eyes intense on hers. “Know this, Sadie. I didn’t plan for any of this. I feel terrible about it. About sleeping with you. I do care about you. But I have to tell you the whole truth.”
Fear became foreboding at the urgency of his words. He pulled a business card from his shirt pocket and held it between his fingers. “I was just going to walk away. Hope you never found out, but I can’t. I don’t want to walk away, but I can’t ask to be a part of your life if you don’t know everything.”
Every part of her was numb. Except her heart. It was kicking in her chest like a rabbit seeking escape from a trap. His words made no sense. She shook her head. “What are you talking about?”
He put the card down and slid it to her. “I’m a private investigator. Marcus Canard hired me to find out if you were doing anything illegal here.”
She looked down at the card. Thomas W. Anderson, Private Investigator. Specializing in insurance fraud. She stared at it for a long time, unable to move. Maybe she could stay here floating in this bubble of shock for a while. It was nice in here. It didn’t hurt yet.
She’d always thought something wasn’t right. She’d wondered often why someone like him was doing a job like this. There was her answer. He was a fake. A liar. He’d lied to her about everything. Spying on her. On her crew!
“Sadie?”
A bubble of rage began to float up through her gut. She could see his lips moving but she could hear nothing but the pounding of her heart. Felt only the urge to hurt him like she’d been hurt. She pushed back from the table and stood. “You lied to me.”
He stood also and lifted his hands. “I’m sorry. I...”
She grabbed a bottle of water, wanting nothing more than to throw it at his lying face. Instead, she hurled it against the wall. “You lying bastard. Get out.”
“Hey!” someone yelled from the hall.
The door opened and Josh grabbed her arm. “Stop it.”
She twisted viciously out of his grasp. Any sense lost. The urge to strike back was overwhelming. He’d spied on her crew. Lied to them. They’d welcomed him and he’d lied to them. The fury boiled over. He made no move to defend himself.
“You don’t get to quit! You’re fired. Get off my property right now.”
He raised his hands. “Sadie, let me explain.”
The sight of her company shirt on him sparked her fury higher. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and twisted hard enough to pull him off balance. “Get this off. Take it off and get out before I call the police.”
She was yelling—she knew this. She could feel the rasp of it in her throat and hear the echoes of it. Saw the stunned faces of the guys in her peripheral vision as they rushed to the room, but she couldn’t stop. The idea of him and Marcus Canard working together enraged her. Laughing at her. Laughing at her stupidity. Strong arms came from behind her, enclosing her.
“Let go of him.” Josh’s voice was calm and commanding in her ear. His cheek pressed to hers broke the fury and she slumped back in his arms.
“What is going on in here?” Molly demanded from the door.
Josh pulled back on Sadie, and she let him. When he had her out of attack distance, he let go but kept one hand firmly on her upper arm. The guilt on Wyatt’s face stirred the embers of her anger.
“You guys get out of here,” Josh ordered. “Go home. Wyatt, you stay with us.”
“No! He leaves. Right now.”
Josh didn’t answer. He shut the door on Molly. When the three of them were behind the closed door, against which everybody else probably had ears pressed, Josh let go of her with a push.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can explain,” Wyatt said.
“Explain what? You’re a spy.” Sadie took a step forward but Josh put out an arm to block her. She turned to Josh and pointed at Wyatt. “He’s a private investigator. Hired by Marcus Canard to spy on us.”
“Is this true?” Josh asked Wyatt.
“Yes.”
Sadie leaned back on the edge of the desk, her legs suddenly unable to support her. Her stomach contracted painfully as if she’d been punched. She stared at Wyatt. How? How had he so completely fooled her? When he turned to her, she looked away. Her throat hurt. Her head hurt. Her heart. Her poor heart hurt.
“What did you tell him?”
Josh’s tone only seemed calm. While the effect was soothing, Sadie knew Josh didn’t yell when angry. The quieter he got, the more dangerous his anger was. As much as she’d like to slap Wyatt upside the face, she didn’t want Josh to beat him up.
“Only what he hired me to find out.”
“Which was?”
Wyatt brought a hand up to rub at his chest. He took a step toward Sadie but stopped at her glare. He held out both hands. “I’m sorry.”
“Doesn’t matter. You lied.”
They both turned back to Josh. Wyatt let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “It doesn’t really matter. He told me he thought there was something illegal going on. Like some sort of male prostitution ring. But it was just him being vindictive, looking for revenge.”
“What did you tell him?” Josh asked. His tone had lost some of its deadly quiet.
“He wanted more information. How you operate, how you train, client information. I told him I didn’t do industrial espionage. He didn’t like my answer. So I walked out.”
Sadie crossed her arms. She fixed her gaze on the window and tried to focus on the traffic whizzing past. He needed to go away. Her heart was about to break. The only thing that could make this worse was if he saw her cry. She remembered her giddy anticipation of that morning and shame burned through her. I’m a complete fool.
Josh put his hands in the air. “Go. Get out.”
“Sadie,” Wyatt said. “I never lied to you about anything but why I was here.”
A harsh bark of a laugh tore from her throat.
After he left, an insane urge to call him back tore through her. How could you? she wanted to ask. How could you make love to me? How could you lie to me? How could you? But the real question was how could she? How could she have believed any of this—love, happiness—was real? She covered her face. When Josh’s hand came down warm on her back, she twisted away from it.
“You go, too. I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
“Are you okay?”
“No, Josh. I’m not okay. Not one little bit okay. Go away.”
* * *
SADIE SAT WITH her back against the arm of the couch later that evening. In her lap was a bowl of jelly beans. In her hand was an industrial-size glass of white wine. Because jelly beans and red wine were a bad combination. She chose a flavor. Chewed slowly. Stared at the still-empty bookshelf. Rage and loss washed over her. Half of her wanted to rip it apart with her bare hands. The other half wanted to crawl back into bed and cry.
The bed was currently unmade because once she’d convinced Molly and Josh she wasn’t going to kill Wyatt Anderson, she’d come upstairs to hide and lick her wounds. She’d fallen face-first into her bed. And smelled him. In that long moment, with the scent of his skin filling her senses, her heart had broken. She’d cried long enough to get angry at herself. So the only logical course of action was to manically rip every bit of bedding from the mattress and burn it in a sacrificial fire in the backyard. She’d opted for the washing machine instead. Because what a great headline that would have been.
Spying on the Boss Page 19
