Some kind of fucked up Stockholm syndrome this is. They better invent another word for the kidnappee returning to save a kidnapper. Tucson syndrome, perhaps?
I down that first shot, then ask for another, the burn in my throat and the warmth in my stomach at least works to take the edge off my anxiety. Dutch courage for certain, but I don’t ask for a third, however tempting it is. I want to retain some semblance of a clear head for what I’ve offered to do.
I would have thought nothing could have tempted me back to that place, to risk being imprisoned in that cellar again. But I hadn’t realised how important Rock had become to me until I understood he might be in danger. I want him to be safe. I don’t want him hurt. The memory of how he’d appeared when I’d first seen him comes back to me. I remember thinking he looked worse than me. He’d taken a beating then, that’s for sure. I’d do anything for that not to happen again. This time, thinking he’s a planted mole, they might not stop.
I take my half-finished drink over to the couch and continue to take small sips until it’s empty. Then I lose sense of time as I sit rolling my empty glass around in my hands. Lost in thoughts of things I’d prefer not to have to think about. Especially about Hawk telling me it was ordained that I should give myself to him.
Is it God’s plan that I go back to the people who are saving me for Hawk, my husband? Has this only been a brief interlude to show me I could lead another kind of life? To wave temptation in front of me, then to snatch it all back?
It’s not until I feel the couch dipping beside me that I start and look up, seeing the men have come out, and that it’s Beef who’s sat down beside me.
He gives a timid smile and takes my hand. Then looking at his massive paw resting on my, in comparison, tiny one, he starts to speak. “Rock and I are tight. We go way back. Came out of the blue when Prez said he’d stolen from the club. Wouldn’t have believed it but for the way he’d run, and not doing much to explain himself. That made me believe he was guilty for sure.” He squeezes my fingers and chuckles. “Fuckin’ Prez is one crafty asshole. He probably even had that arranged and set up. If Rock had stayed he’d have had his club tat burned off.”
I’m not sure where he’s going with this.
“Becs, Prez took a risk, but he balanced it up. And Rock’s a brave fuckin’ man to have agreed. Knowin’ him, he’d have volunteered for this shit. He lived, lives, for this club and everyone in it.”
I nod. I’m sure he does. He must, to have done what he did.
“Prez isn’t stupid, Becs. He always has plans A, B, and fuckin’ C. If you go into the Chaos Riders compound, he’ll sort it so you get safely back out.” Another squeeze. When he next speaks, his voice sounds choked. “Want both you and Rock out of it.”
“Becca?” Drummer’s voice booms.
I stand, pulling my hand out of Beef’s grasp. Our eyes meet for a moment, and then I nod. What he wants is exactly what I want too.
Drummer’s standing with his office door open. He waves me inside and to a seat in front of his desk and in the middle of Wraith and Peg. Blade’s standing with his back against the wall.
After taking his own place, Drummer sets me in his sights. “Don’t like using a bitch to do what should be a man’s work.”
Bristling a little at the term he used, I ignore it and shrug. “You didn’t. I offered.”
Blade speaks from behind me. “You changed your mind, we can think of something else.”
“I presume Jill hasn’t returned?” I ask, then when told she hasn’t, offer sadly, “If she went to their compound…” I don’t need to finish the thought that they might not allow her back out. She’ll soon find that Riders are completely different to Devils.
Drummer looks grim. “If she’s not back tonight, I’ll take it she did. None of the other sweet butts know where she was going. And it is unusual for her to take off. Allie’s sobbing her heart out, she knows she did wrong.”
“Jill didn’t give her much choice.” I jump to the friendlier woman’s defence. “Jill wasn’t going to let up until she told her. She got violent, as I said before.” I look down at my hands, admitting quietly, “I’m just sorry I didn’t try to do anything to prevent it.”
“Now stop right there,” Drummer interrupts. “Girl, you’re still weak as a new born foal, and I doubt you’ve been in a fight in your life. Jill’s got street smarts, she’d have taken you down with one hand tied behind her back. No one’s blamin’ you for what happened. You weren’t to know what she was going to do with the information. I wouldn’t have expected it myself.”
“Thank you, Drummer.” Some of the guilt eases off me. I look at each of the men in turn. “What happens now? Are we going straight away?” I doubt Drummer will delay when a man of his is in danger.
“No. We go tomorrow.” As my eyes open in surprise at the short reprieve, Drummer continues. “Not tellin’ you anything else. Though your eyes and ears will tell you a lot. Hopefully you won’t be there long, but what you don’t know, you can’t tell Chaos.”
“You expect him to question me.” I hadn’t thought about that.
“She’s not going in,” Blade insists, his jaw clenched. “It’s not right.” I turn and look at him straight on as he continues, directing his comments to me. “They might torture you for information. Have you thought about that?”
“Blade! We’ve discussed this. She won’t need to hang out for long. We’ll be going in right behind her.”
I hadn’t thought about torture. It had been mental torture last time. Now it seems they’re suggesting it might get physical. But it’s for Rock. I take a deep breath and pull my shoulders back, wondering whether it’s the tequila that’s made me braver. “What should and shouldn’t I tell them?”
Drummer looks at Wraith, then Peg. They both shrug. “Thing is, Becca, old ladies don’t know anything at all.” I nod. I’m not even an old lady. “But you’ll hear other bikers arriving tonight. If Chaos gets close enough to question you, the only thing you don’t tell Chaos is anything to do with our numbers. Can you manage to do that?”
I open my mouth, then shut it again, seriously considering the question. Then answer it with one of my own. “If keeping quiet is the difference in me and Rock being alive or dead, what do you think, Drummer?”
Slowly his face is transformed by a smile. “I think, as I may have said before, that you’ll do.”
It’s that enigmatic statement again, the one I don’t understand. But I don’t question him further. What I don’t know can’t hurt me.
Returning to the clubroom, I decide to stay for a while rather than returning to the solitude of my suite. I want to enjoy the company for what time I’ve got left. Alone I’d only give myself a chance to brood on what the following day will bring. I can’t see it having a happy ending.
The buzz of conversation is all about Rock. At first incredulous that he’s not been a traitor, then when they’ve discussed that enough, starting up with all sort of anecdotes about him as they talk of him with fondness. I listen eagerly, trying to soak up information about the man who, in truth, I barely know, even though I’ve offered up my freedom, and possibly my life to save him.
Apart from his sexual antics, which I try to close my ears to, I hear nothing that does anything except leaving me wanting to know him better. My initial reactions that he’s a good man are only confirmed by all they’re revealing.
During the evening, and into the night, the air is filled with the thunder of engines as more and more bikers pile in. Matt and Truck are kept busy finding places where men can place their sleeping bags. The crash rooms are full to overflowing, the mats in the gym brought into play, and the sweet butts are trying to man the bar as well as keeping the men occupied. When their particular services are required, they disappear with various newcomers into the back rooms in deference to the old ladies who, it being relatively early, are still around. Not for the first time I wonder how the sweet butts can do it, voluntarily allowing their bodies to be
used for sex. But I suppose it’s no different to me allowing the man who’d put a ring on my finger to use me.
Eventually, when it becomes clear my space on the couch is in high demand, I rise with the intention of taking myself off to my suite, even while dreading being alone, knowing tonight it will be hard to get any rest. It’s only when I start walking toward the door that I realise while I’ve been lost in my reverie, just how many new men had arrived. As I start to make my way through the throng, I discover it’s heaving with strangers that I’ll have to walk through to get out. No faces I recognise are in the immediate vicinity.
With a growing sense of unease, politely I ask bikers to move out of my way. A few do, then suddenly my progress is halted by a jolt. Swinging around, my hand goes up to try and loosen the grip of the man who’s got hold of my t-shirt.
“Yeah,” he leers as he looks first at my face, then down my body. “Not the best specimen, but you’ll do. Ain’t enough women to fuck tonight.” As he speaks his free hand pulls my tee away from my breasts, exposing them.
With a sense of horror my hands shoot down to try to make myself decent again, as another man nudges the first.
“You’re right about the lack of pussy. Mind if I share?”
Oh no. At that moment I remember Jill saying there are only two types of women in the club. The reason for the old ladies all having worn their leather vests with their property patches evident tonight immediately becomes clear. Needing to correct their assumption, I try to explain. “I’m not a sweet butt.” It comes out shakily.
The first stares lazily at my face, then his eyes roam back down at my still exposed breasts. I’ve yet to be successful in fighting to regain control of my shirt. “You ain’t wearing anyone’s patch, darlin’. That says you are. And a sweet butt’s job is keep the men happy. Drummer ain’t gonna be pleased if you don’t give that pussy up.”
The other man’s hands try to still me from behind, and he’s shoving his hard cock into my ass. I start to get frightened, my puny efforts to get away aren’t working. Women should do as they’re told. Women submit to men. We don’t force women here, Becca. My mother’s voice fights with Beef’s in my head, all the while these two men are pawing at me. Frantically looking around, I see there’s no one I recognise within sight.
As the first man rips my tee in two, the action startles a loud terrified scream out of my mouth.
“Hey, ain’t havin’ none of that. You’re club property. A whore for us to use, whichever chapter we’re in.”
A voice from behind speaks into my ear. “Stop struggling. We know how to make you feel good, sweetheart. Ain’t that right, Petty?”
“Sure thing, Roller. Now stop resisting before you get hurt. You know what you’re here for.” As he talks, Petty lowers his head and puts his mouth around my nipple. It does nothing for me except to start me panicking, my head full of Hawk taking me whenever he wanted. Beef promised I wouldn’t be forced.
My heart’s beating so fast it feels like it’s going to leap out of my chest, my breathing speeding up as if I’ve done a full workout. I’m finding it hard to get air into my lungs, and as I start screaming and screaming, my vision starts to go black.
“What the fuck’s going on here? Petty, Roller. Leave her a-fuckin’-lone. She ain’t no sweet butt! Here, darlin’.” As the two men assaulting me take a step back, new arms come around me, stopping me falling to the floor.
“She’s not wearing a property patch, Beef.”
“She’s our fuckin’ guest. She’s under our protection.” While his arms are comforting, Beef’s body shakes with rage.
Petty’s not going to give up. “How the fuck were we to know? And we weren’t going to hurt her. Just give her a good time. Hand her over Beef. There’s not enough pussy to go around tonight.”
Beef steps back, taking me with him. “You watch your mouth, Petty. She ain’t for you. She’s Rock’s.”
Roller’s hand lands on my shoulder. “That fuckin’ traitor? If she’s his and he left her behind, that makes her fair game.”
“Rock’s no fuckin’ traitor,” Beef roars, his loud voice making me jump. Angrily he swats Roller’s fingers off my shoulder. “As you’ll find out yourselves when Drum updates you.”
I want to protest there’s no way I belong to Rock, but if it’s going to save me, it won’t hurt to let them believe the lie.
“I’m taking her out of here. Now get out of my fuckin’ way.” Then, more softly, to me he adds, “Come on, sweetheart.” He turns me around so I can face him, and that’s when he sees my breasts exposed. His jaw tightens as he looks up and growls. “Don’t think you’ve heard the last of this, brothers. This ain’t the way we treat women in this club.”
He lifts me as if I weigh nothing at all, cradling me to his body so my naked breasts are no longer on display, and completes what was only a short distance to the open door. He carries me through the numerous bikers who have spilled out of the clubhouse into the night and, at last, we’re out of the medley and walking up to the suites. Ignoring Rock’s room where I’m staying, he takes me into the adjacent one I’ve never entered before. I realise it’s his.
Again I start thrashing. “Beef! No!”
“Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you.” Putting me down while he opens the door, he pushes me inside then gently lifts me and places me on his bed.
I start wailing, thinking I’ve jumped out of the pot and into the fire.
“Hey, hey. It’s alright, darlin’. I ain’t gonna hurt you.” Sitting on the mattress he turns me to face him. “I’m gonna keep you safe, you hear me? You stay here. I just got some business to take care of. I won’t be long. Don’t go wanderin’ around.”
The voices of numerous raucous bikers can be heard outside. I recognise none of them. Whimpers still coming from somewhere inside me start getting louder, and while a second ago I wanted him to leave me, my mind does an about turn and now I grasp his cut, not wanting to be alone. He understands without needing me to express it. “I’ll be back in a minute, I promise. I’ll lock the door. No one will come in while I’m gone.”
He pries my hands away from his leather, and then he’s gone. I curl into a ball, unable to stop shaking. Memories rushing back, threatening to overwhelm me. Hawk. Always Hawk. Taking what I didn’t want to give freely. As fresh tears fall, I start to rock back and forth.
Chapter 14
Rock
Jill’s been chained to the same shackle as Becca had been, but I doubt she’d appreciate the irony. Her eyes are wide as they flick around, gradually taking in her surroundings. She pulls on the chain and cuff around her leg, quickly realising she’s no chance of escape. Her gaze lands on me, strung up to the ceiling, my toes only just touching the ground, the position causing the stab wound Blade had given me to start oozing blood again.
Already I can feel the burn to my shoulders. As she looks me over, her scared expression shows she’s only now acknowledging we’re both trapped and at the mercy of the Chaos Riders. And it’s all her fucking fault.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
Glaring, wondering how she thinks a simple apology is going to cut it, there’s venom in my voice as I spit the words out, “What the fuck did you think you were doing?”
She looks sheepish, then turns her red-rimmed eyes toward me. “I’ve missed you, Rock. Never thought you could have been traitor. You know I wanted you…want you. When I heard you’d joined a new club I wanted to come and be with you. I thought you might have missed me too. I knew if I could just talk to you…”
I roll my head back, trying to ease the pain in my shoulders. “Well it seems you’ve got my undivided attention now. And we’ll both have to accept neither of us will be getting out of here alive.” Her eyes open as large as saucers at my words. Finally, as the enormity of what she’s done seems to dawn on her, she at least has the grace to turn away.
Beef had been right when he’d pointed out Jill wanted me months ago. I’d have done better to
have taken it more seriously myself. I’d fucked her many times, hell, in the same way I fucked all the sweet butts. She’s been in the club long enough, and I assumed she knew the score, just like the others. As had my other brothers, I just watched on with amusement as Jill started to give herself airs and graces, lording it over the rest of the girls as though she was head bitch. They looked up to her just because she’d been with the Satan’s Devils the longest. When Paige and Diva had joined, she’d shown them the ropes. It was easier for us men to just go along with it.
I had listened more when Beef said he’d seen signs she was getting attached to me in particular. It had started after she’d misunderstood the significance or, in my mind, lack of it, of riding on my bike. Unlike some of my brothers, I think the pillion seat is there for a reason. After Beef’s warning I’d distanced myself, making use of the likes of Diva and Paige instead. It wasn’t a great loss. Jill’s slack pussy had lost any attraction years ago, but the things she could do with her mouth… Still, Allie was no slouch in that area either.
We all know a sweet butt hopes to be up riding behind one special brother, that eventually she’d be made an old lady. However, I’ve never known that to happen in my club—maybe in others. Whether it does or not, as far as I’m concerned, the thought of having a woman who’s freely offered up her pussy to all my brothers is a complete turn off. If I ever settle down, it will be with one special woman who none of the other club members have known. Someone like Becca.
Why did that thought come into my head? Is it because this situation reminds me of the times I saw Becca chained and neglected? It’s only sympathy I feel for her, nothing more than that. All I hope is that she’s being well looked after by my club, and that Drummer will keep her far away from the Chaos Riders. They know where she is now. I don’t doubt, having heard what they had, that they’ll go all out to get her back. Shit, what a fuck up. It’s all due to the woman who’s next to me, chained up.
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