by Rachel Grant
Alec could recover his lead and win the election, but much of how it played out wouldn’t be in his control.
One thing that could be controlled, however, was not having a liability at his side. Isabel’s presence in the campaign would be a constant reminder of the story they couldn’t tell, not to mention the newspaper article that painted her as mentally unbalanced—which many people would always believe.
She had no doubt she would reduce his chances of winning.
He wanted to win, and she wanted it for him. The state of Maryland would be lucky to have him, and the US Senate would be a better place if he held a seat. She’d made her decision before she even shook hands with the officials and left the conference room.
At least she and Alec would have tonight for good-byes.
She expected him to remain in the conference room with his employees after the officials left, but instead, the meeting ended and everyone dispersed to their quarters. They all had earned a night off.
He draped an arm around her shoulder as they strode down the winding halls. The compound was quiet. They’d agreed to remain closed for another month, but then the trainings would resume, with Sean Logan as interim director, and she suspected eventually Brad would be named to the top spot.
She wanted to shut down the part of her brain that worried about logistics and cover stories, to set aside for the moment all that had been hashed out during the meeting. She just wanted tonight with Alec.
After they entered his quarters, he pressed her against the closed door and nuzzled her neck. “God, I missed you during the trip to Fairbanks.”
“I missed you too.” She pressed her lips to his. Tentative. They hadn’t done more than hold each other since the shooting yesterday. But she wanted more now. She wanted to forget everything she couldn’t remember.
Or, more accurately she wanted to forget there was something she didn’t want to remember.
But that wasn’t the only reason she wanted him, or even the most important. He made her feel warm, special, and alive. Plus she loved him.
His tongue slid between her lips, and she melted into him, thankful he was ready to move on from cautious touches and take this to the next level.
He pulled back. “Are you sure, Iz?”
She gripped his shirt and held him close. “Don’t treat me like I’m fragile. I’m not. I need you. Need this. But I don’t want soft or gentle. I want hot and fierce.”
“You want angry?”
“I’m a little angry. Okay, a lot. But not at you. Never at you.”
His mouth covered hers in a deep, hard kiss. His fingers threaded through her curls and twisted, holding her in a tight grip without causing pain.
Yes.
His lips left her mouth and trailed downward, hard, sucking kisses that would likely leave marks. She didn’t give a damn. She wanted to ride the edge of rough. She wanted the feel of his hands, his mouth, his body to override every sensation she’d experienced in the last days—even the ones she couldn’t remember.
This would be the memory she took away from Alaska.
She began unbuttoning Alec’s shirt, but the process was too slow. She gripped the opening and pulled. Buttons popped off, and with satisfying speed, Alec’s chest was exposed.
He laughed and scooped her up, heading for the bedroom.
“No,” she said. “The marble sideboard.”
He changed direction, taking her straight to the named furniture. “It’ll be cold.”
“And you’ll be hot inside me.”
He set her feet on the floor and unbuttoned her jeans, then stopped. “Strip while I grab a condom.”
She obeyed and was fully naked by the time he returned. He still wore slacks and his torn shirt. Sexy and perfect, and she was about to fulfill the fantasy she’d had that first morning she was here. She opened his fly, and no sooner did she have his thick cock in her hand than he lifted her and set her on the cold marble counter. It was exactly the sensation she wanted—the juxtaposition of hard, unforgiving surface beneath and behind her, with him hot and hard between her thighs.
He slipped the condom on, and that fast, he was inside her. She stretched around him. His first thrust sent intense ripples of pleasure through her.
God, yes. This.
She locked her ankles together behind his ass, gripped the lapel of his open shirt as her head lolled back and bumped against the wall with each thrust. Pleasure radiated from her core, but not the kind that built toward orgasm. For that, she needed direct clitoral stimulation, and she was content to just feel him within her. To have this intimacy. To know her body gave him the intensity he needed.
He loved her.
She could see it in his eyes. In the ferocity of his gaze as he’d stepped into her cabin in the early morning hours and surrendered his gun the moment he recognized the threat to her. In the way he’d held her last night, as she tried to escape into the oblivion of sleep but couldn’t—not without a sleeping pill provided by Doc Larson.
And now, as he took her with the edge of roughness she’d asked for.
As if he could read her mind, he grabbed her wrists and held them together above her head, restraining her with one hand, while his other slipped between them and stroked her clit, quickly bringing her to the verge of orgasm. With her hands restrained, she couldn’t stop him, couldn’t hold back. She had to give in to what he demanded from her body, and she came apart. Her body rocked as the orgasm slammed into her. She came so hard, so abruptly, she cursed. His fingers stayed on her clit, giving no quarter as she bucked against him, trying to pull back, certain she was about to split in two.
His mouth found hers again, and his hard kiss was as inescapable as his fingers. As she rode the wave of what might be the hardest, longest orgasm of her life, she was grateful he made her take it. Midorgasm, the pleasure built even higher, when she would have withdrawn, causing it to end.
The rhythm of his thrusts changed. He groaned into her mouth, and she knew he was reaching his own climax. Impossibly, she crested again as he came with three deep strokes.
Spent, his grip on her wrists went slack, even as the fingers on her clit remained firm. She felt his chuckle—his chest quaking against hers as his lips slid from hers to her neck.
His weight shifted, and she again locked her ankles behind his butt, preventing him from pulling out of her. She felt like she could melt into the marble counter and didn’t want him to leave her body just yet.
Without a word, he lifted her and crossed to the couch, sitting down with her straddling him so she could lie across his chest while they both returned to earth.
She propped herself up on her elbows and met his gaze. If only this moment could last forever. If only there was no need for words. No need for him to resume his place in the world. A place in which there was no room for her.
He smiled and tucked a curl behind her ear. “I love you, Isabel.”
She shook her head and set her fingers against his lips, as if she could erase the statement. So they didn’t have to face it.
She loved him too, but that only made this harder. She cleared her throat. There was no better time or way to say it. “I’ve made a decision. I’m going back to Oregon.”
He frowned, but then flashed a tentative smile. “To finish your PhD? I think that’s a good idea but admit I was hoping you’d be able to do the bulk of the work while living in Maryland. I’d assumed your coursework was done.”
“Yes. It’s all done. My dissertation is ninety percent complete, actually. But I’m not going back for school. I’m going for work. It’ll be easier for me to get a job in Oregon.”
He scooted up on the couch, sliding from her body. She remained on his lap but was no longer on top of him. Now they were face-to-face. Equals. “You can get a job in Maryland, and it’s not like you’d have to worry about money if you don’t find anything right away.”
“I can’t, Alec—”
“Give me one good reason why not. I’d have acce
pted grad school, but not now.”
“I didn’t say it was for the PhD, because I won’t lie to you.”
“Then it can’t be because you don’t love me, because we both know that would be a lie too.”
She stroked his cheek. “I wasn’t going to tell you, because I figured that would only make it harder.”
“Harder for you to dump me? I hope so.”
That was fair enough. She owed him so much more than three words. She wanted to give him so much more. Hell, that was what she was trying to do in letting him go. “I love you. And you’re the only man I’ve ever said that to.”
His eyes smiled even as he frowned. “Then why the hell aren’t you coming with me?”
“It was different when I thought you didn’t stand a chance in the election, but now, with the DIA and CIA putting a lid on everything, you have a real chance. But not if I’m by your side. I’m the reminder of everything that could ruin you.”
“You want me to drop out of the race.”
“No! I think you’d be an amazing senator. I want you to run. I want you to win. But how much would you grow to resent me if I’m the reason you lost?”
“If I can’t get elected with you by my side, then I don’t want the job. You could never be the reason I lose. I’m the candidate. If I can’t sell myself to the people of Maryland, it’s all on me. It’s not my campaign manager’s fault, not my advisors, not the volunteers. It would be nobody’s fault but mine. It’s like planning an op with the Rangers. If the plan failed, there was no one to blame but myself.”
“I’m scared, Alec.” Even as she said the words, her belly turned. She’d had no idea how afraid she was until she voiced it.
“What are you afraid of, honey?”
“Pretty much everything. Except bears. At this point, bears don’t bother me.”
He chuckled. “It helps that you carry bear spray.”
She smiled and leaned into him, snuggling against his chest. His arms wrapped around her. She could imagine being less afraid if she ended every day like this, and maybe started each day like this too.
With her cheek to his chest, she closed her eyes. “I don’t belong anywhere.”
His arms tightened around her. “You belong with me.”
She wanted to say no. To walk away without looking back. But what would it be like, on the dig bum circuit in Oregon, California, Washington, and Idaho, knowing she’d walked away from Alec?
He’d—hopefully—win his election. She’d see him on the news nearly every night—because she’d scour C-SPAN if she had to.
“If you don’t move to Maryland for me, think of Gandalf. I’ve grown strangely attached to him. Surely you wouldn’t deny me the first cat I’ve ever thought was tolerable?”
She laughed. Gandalf had slept with them last night. She’d had Alec at her back and her kitty at her front as she closed her eyes to mark the end of the third worst day of her life. Nothing could top losing Vin and her parents.
“Two months. I’ll try it for two months.”
“No good. That’ll get us through the election, but if I win, not to the swearing in.”
“Fine. Four months.”
“That’s not enough either. Life would be in transition, not normal—or whatever normal would be if I’m a senator. I want an eight-month commitment. If I win, that would give us time to settle in to a routine, to find out if we’d really work as a team. Give us until next April.”
“You do realize that except for grad school, there are few places I’ve lived for eight months straight?” He couldn’t possibly guess what a big commitment this would be for her.
He kissed her nose. “Yes.”
“How do you know that?”
“The background information we gathered on you. I have every address you’ve ever listed on a government form.”
“That’s not even all of them. You’ve probably lived in the same house your whole life.”
“No. I bought an estate right before I left the Army.”
“Most people buy houses. You bought an estate?”
He shrugged. “Originally, I thought I was going to make it into some sort of military training ground—but then Raptor became available, and I bought that instead. So now I have a big old house on acreage in rural Maryland, and no one to share it with. Just think, Iz, Gandalf will love the forest.”
She laughed. “Well, okay, then, since Gandalf will enjoy it, I can try Maryland for eight months.” Her belly dropped at just saying the words. It was crazy how much this scared her. But at the same time, it was a good sort of scared. Exhilarating. Like a roller coaster.
But mixed with that exhilaration was trepidation. “People are going to talk about how we met—the Sun article made sure of that.”
“We’ll reframe it for them until our version eclipses the tabloid version.”
“How will we do that? Tell everyone I zapped you with bear spray?”
“No. We’ll point out your brother set us up. It just took a while for us to finally meet.”
Warmth flooded her, telling her that she was making the right choice in Alec Ravissant. He’d given the perfect politician’s answer, but she knew it wasn’t the politician speaking. It was the man. He’d said the smart thing, the right thing, and the truth.
Epilogue
Maryland
April
Isabel stood on the upper veranda and looked out over the garden. It was a show tunes sort of day, crisp and sunny. Cherry blossom time was a little late this year, and Alec’s Maryland estate was in full bloom, making it the perfect day for a wedding. If she didn’t know it would scare off the guests gathering below, she might belt out a song.
The event had been thrown together in less than a month, but then, once Erica finally agreed to bring their long engagement to an end, Lee wasn’t about to give her time to change her mind. Alec offered the estate for the ceremony and party, and surprisingly, Isabel enjoyed helping plan the celebration with Erica. The task had filled the long gap between temporary field projects.
She’d been offered a full-time job at Talon & Drake not long after she moved to the city, but had turned it down, afraid of the commitment. Now, eight months later, she knew Alec expected her final decision.
She’d known her answer for weeks but had yet to tell him. She was waiting for the right moment.
She left the veranda and returned to Alec’s bedroom suite, where Erica and her four bridesmaids, Mara, Trina, Undine, and Alexandra, were gathered, putting the final touches on Erica’s gorgeous hair.
“At least half the guests have arrived,” Isabel said.
The ceremony and celebration were relatively small, less than fifty guests, which seemed about perfect to Isabel. She’d accompanied the new junior senator from Maryland to dozens of political events in the last months, none with fewer than two hundred guests. After that, fifty was downright cozy.
Erica stood, and her gown unfurled. Simple and elegant, she was the perfect picture of a glowing bride. Lee was going to melt when he saw her.
There was a knock on the door. Trina jumped to her feet. “That’s probably Cressida. She’s bringing champagne for a preceremony toast.”
Sure enough, Cressida Porter was at the door. She’d been an intern last summer at Navy History and Heritage Command, where Mara, Trina, Undine, and Erica all worked. Isabel had first met the underwater archaeologist yesterday, but she’d heard a lot about her, especially given the legal troubles she’d had a month ago thanks to a rotten ex-boyfriend.
Accompanying Cressida was Alec. He nodded his head toward the guest bedroom across the hall. “I need to talk to you,” he said to Isabel.
She excused herself from the group and followed him into the room. He closed the door and pressed her against the panel.
“You’re going to ruin my lipstick,” she said right before he kissed her.
She liked that he didn’t really give a damn about things like lipstick.
She ran her fingers down his la
pels, feeling very sorry that she couldn’t rip open his shirt, but it would ruin the tux. He looked great in a tux, and he even knew how to tie his own bow tie, a skill he’d probably learned when he attended Richie Rich’s school for loaded boys. It was a good thing, because as a senator, he’d had to don one more than once in the last few months.
Entering his world had been quite the culture shock, but she’d been adapting.
There was less sex in the kitchen than she wanted, because an estate of this size actually required a housekeeper and gardener. Every time she saw the marble counter, she seriously considered the need for downsizing.
“You look gorgeous,” he said.
“Thank you. You look pretty hot yourself.” She straightened his bow tie. “How are things with the groomsmen?”
“JT is moping because Alexandra wouldn’t talk to him, and he’s trying to hide how he feels from Lee.”
“Alexandra’s doing the same thing. I think Erica knows, but she’s too happy to let it bother her.”
“Lee’s the same way.” He pulled Isabel tighter against him. “All this wedding stuff is giving me ideas. You know, it’s been eight months.”
She smiled. “Has it? I hadn’t noticed.” The lie was so blatant, Alec laughed.
The first few months had been a struggle. Not being with Alec—that was never a struggle. It was the spotlight, the constant attention. That and every forest for a thousand miles appeared to have poison ivy, slapping a high price on long hikes to clear her mind.
Alaska might have bears, but the state didn’t have poison oak or poison ivy. And there was no old growth here. Nature somehow didn’t feel quite as…wild.
She’d also struggled with nightmares. Alec helped her through those long nights, waking her and holding her.
