by Kate Wendley
He was damned either way, but at least with Anthony’s blood there was a chance he could have a normal life again.
He took him up on his offer, but he’d never let a vampire feed from him before and was so uncomfortable by the whole thing that he ended up growling at Anthony that first night.
Big fucking mistake.
The ass beating at the ranch had just been play to Anthony. Growling at him when he was trying to feed… Sebastian was lucky to still be alive after doing that. As Anthony strangled Sebastian that night, fangs bared and eyes blazing bright in fury, he read through the skin to skin contact that Anthony had actually been trying to be careful with him since it was his first time letting a vampire feed. He also found out that he had a hard time getting new feeding partners. He was too private, too powerful, and it made most of the blood volunteers deathly afraid of him.
Somehow they got through that night, but then Anthony let Sebastian have too much of his own blood in a hearty attempt to help him with his uncontrollable power. It left Anthony too drained, and he was too stubborn to admit it. Instead he nearly lost it up in the club around all the warm bodies pumping fresh blood.
Thankfully Zach stepped in and offered himself up that night as a feeding partner, and then made the arrangement permanent. Things worked out pretty well for them all after that.
Except Sebastian still feared Anthony. His usual calmness lulled some people into the false idea that he might actually be weak. They’d never been on the receiving end of Anthony’s incredibly fast reflexes, his powerful punches, and his ability to drain the life right out of you either by drinking your blood or by touching your skin and sucking your life energy out.
Sebastian didn’t want to die that way. People had bad days, but what if Anthony had a bad day? What if he accidentally drained Sebastian some night? That girl last month that the vampire Les drained didn’t die, but just because a shifter couldn’t die from blood loss didn’t mean they couldn’t easily be killed another way while they lay there looking ready for their funeral.
He flicked a glance at Anthony when he felt a stirring of energy. He’d be awake soon, so Sebastian laid down and tried to calm his mind. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He thought about Jade, about her willingly touching him, and about her actually asking him to her place.
Her invitation made him nervous. He wanted to be happy and feel like maybe people actually didn’t hate him anymore, but he had years of memories of people ignoring him, looking blatantly disgusted by him, or even outright yelling at him to get the fuck away from them for him to get too excited about one person being nice. Hell, for all he knew, she was just playing a cruel game. When he showed up at her place on Saturday, Torin and his buddies would probably be there to laugh in his face.
Anthony’s energy steadily became stronger and he forced himself to calm down. Jade was a nice girl and he’d never seen her talking to Torin or any of his friends. She’d have to be completely different than he thought she was for her to play such a cruel joke on him.
Sebastian could feel it when Anthony opened his eyes. It was the only thing besides the energy in the air that gave away that he was awake. He didn’t breathe, he didn’t suddenly just get warm, and his heart wouldn’t start beating until he began drinking Sebastian’s blood.
And he always took at least a minute or two after coming awake before he fed. Tonight was no different. When he was ready, he sat up and straddled him, and his presence felt intense as he brushed aside his long hair so it wasn’t draped across Sebastian. His focus was always on his neck when he woke, and they never looked each other in the eye. That was too personal. This wasn’t. It was just a feeding. It was what Anthony needed to survive and Sebastian willingly allowed it.
Anthony’s teeth punctured his skin and he felt a sharp pleasure as his fangs sank into him. He suckled Sebastian’s neck, which felt weird if he thought too hard about it. Anthony never dawdled, though. He was purposeful in his feedings and always quickly released him as soon as he was done.
A lot of times Sebastian couldn’t wait that long, though, and he always felt bad when he tried to push him away before he’d had his fill. He couldn’t help it. Anthony had let him into his mind too many times back when Sebastian couldn’t control his power, and he’d seen some fucked up things.
Anthony was old. Old old. He’d been around for a long time, had seen some wars, been in some wars, and Sebastian was still haunted by some things Anthony hadn’t meant for him to see.
Like all the people he’d killed. Many people. The war deaths were one thing, it was the other deaths that really freaked him out. Through his mind reading power he’d absorbed the emotion Anthony felt from killing the others, which was barely any at all. When Anthony decided he needed to do something, he just did it. He didn’t think about it, he just did it, and that’s what was hard to shake. If Anthony ever decided Sebastian was too much bother, he might have no idea before he just snuffed him out.
He felt tired all of a sudden, and it was getting hard to form thoughts. He weakly batted at Anthony’s arm, and he instantly released him. He licked the wound before smoothly leaving the bed, allowing Sebastian time to rest and heal.
**
Sebastian woke to the sound of a closet door opening. He didn’t bother to look. Anthony would most likely be standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist as he picked out clothes to wear. He heard the sound of hangers moving, then felt Anthony going back into the bathroom.
He sat up and focused on the dresser to see if his vision was ok or if he needed more rest. He could clearly make out Anthony’s wallet and keys, so he got up and went upstairs for the night.
Jade was in the restaurant, as usual this time of night, making him instantly nervous. He wasn’t sure if he should go talk to her or leave the whole thing alone, but once she looked up and waved, he smiled and decided the hell with it. He walked straight to her table, relieved when she gestured for him to sit with her.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
He sat down and immediately eyed her water.
“Are you ok?” She gave him a curious once over.
“Huh?”
“You look tired. Again.”
“I do?”
She nodded as she slid her water over to him. He drank the whole glass down.
“Thanks. It was my turn to let Anthony feed from me tonight. It makes me thirsty. And hungry.”
Her nose crinkled in a cute way.
“Did you order your dinner already?”
“Yes.”
He looked anxiously around and said, “I’ll be right back.”
He went to the kitchen and quickly made himself a sandwich, grabbed some fries, then loaded Jade’s order along with his own food onto a tray. He brought everything back to their table, got them some drinks, then finally sat down with her before realizing he was being quiet.
She had a strange look on her face. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Sorry, I’m not usually very talkative, especially when I’m hungry. It’s not you.”
She cocked her head and got a small smile. “You were always the quiet kid in grade school.”
He smiled in surprise. “In grade school? You remember grade school?”
“Yeah, don’t you? Remember Mrs. Keenan? She was so nice.”
He chuckled as he ate some fries. “She was really old, right? Who was that kid that ate glue? He’d stick his pencil in the top of the bottle and swish it around, then pull it back out and lick the glue off.”
She cringed while she laughed. “Oh my God, that was Jeremy Halstenson.”
He pointed a fry at her. “Yes! What happened to him? Is he still around?”
She chuckled as she took a bite of her mac-n-cheese. “I think he married Laura Cook.”
“Who?”
“She moved here during our senior year, but she’s a year younger than us.”
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t remember her then. My life was just s
tarting to get fucked up that year.” Jade’s eyes went wide and he cringed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk about that.”
She put her hand on his and he couldn’t stop himself from staring at it. It felt good to have her touch him.
“Sebastian, I’m−”
He felt like his heart was laid bare as he quietly said, “Please don’t. I don’t want pity. I don’t need it.”
She frowned and pulled her hand away, making him realize how mean he was being. Still not quite sure of his welcome, he slowly reached across the table and touched her hand. “That came out bad. What I mean is…” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I mean, I just don’t want pity.”
She gave him a thoughtful look, but didn’t pull away this time. “I think you scare the pity right out of people.”
He laughed at how ridiculous that sounded and how serious she looked when she said it. She reluctantly smiled, and it felt good to be here with her. He pet her hand for a moment, then realized what he was doing and pulled back. He couldn’t look at her as he took a drink of water, hoping she wasn’t mad at him for touching her. It was quiet between them as she picked at her food, making him feel self-conscious for being here.
She finally said, “So, uh, do you ever listen to the bands at open mic night?”
He smirked. “Sometimes. You and Tina come down for it every week.”
She gave him a suspicious smile. “Tina likes a guy in one of the bands. She drags me down here so she doesn’t look creepy watching him all by herself.”
He chuckled and got lost in the sound of her voice, giving himself a moment to pretend that he was just a normal guy hanging out with this innocent, sweet, beautiful woman. It was dangerous for him to get his hopes up about people, though. He’d been burned too many times over the years when he’d put himself out there hoping for someone, anyone, to just treat him like a human being even though he’d developed this freak power. His ego could only take so much hate, disgust, and outright humiliation, so he’d stopped bothering trying to be part of life and kept to himself instead.
But as they finished their dinner together, talking about nothing in particular, he got lost in Jade’s deep sea green eyes and decided maybe he was ready to try again. Maybe this time when he let his guard down things would be different.
**
Jade went home feeling happy… and a bit like a hypocrite. Sebastian was a really nice guy under his tough exterior, and she’d been infatuated with him for an eternity, but she didn’t like how awake and aware her cat was when they were together. She didn’t want to be reminded that she wasn’t totally human.
But Sebastian was a shifter, too, and he made her feel excited in ways she’d never dreamed of. But he also scared her. And what did she think was going to happen between them? He was an Alpha for gosh sake. If she was afraid of being hurt by another shifter, then Sebastian was the last person she should hang around. But he was also someone that she had no fear of ever hurting.
He had a bad reputation, though. She’d even seen how he used to be, so wild and angry at the world. He didn’t always seem as angry anymore, but he was still powerful. And unpredictable. Would he ever turn on her like she’d heard he had on some of his wolves? Or were those rumors total lies?
Whatever the truth was, the only way for her to get stronger would be to take part in the blood exchange, where she’d have to actually drink someone’s blood. That was gross on so many levels, besides the fact that she didn’t want to accidentally inherit someone’s rare, freakish power.
Like Sebastian’s mind reading ability.
She frowned as she opened her apartment door and flicked on the light. Zach always told her she couldn’t gain new abilities by drinking blood, but she didn’t believe him. How would he know for sure? Just because no one admitted to it?
She went to her kitchen to wash her lunch dishes, but stopped as she looked at her hands. Sebastian held her hands tonight, being so gentle and sweet. He dealt with his weird ability just fine, but was that because he was a powerful wolf? What if she gained something she couldn’t control?
Thinking about him touching her hands made her think about his arms around her, and she took a deep breath as she replayed Sunday night in her mind. He was so quick and sure with his movements when they crashed into each other, pulling her into his arms, then cautiously waiting for her to accept him. She still shivered in desire as she remembered his hard body feeling so right against hers. She closed her eyes and gingerly touched her neck where he’d nibbled on her, all of his movements surprisingly gentle even while he held her firmly in his arms.
He’d moaned every time she reciprocated his touch and his kisses, and she couldn’t think of a single guy she’d ever dated that made her feel as crazy for him as Sebastian did. But what if that was just his wolf? What if Sebastian the man was different? Was she brave enough to find out?
**
Friday night Sebastian stopped by Jade’s table, but didn’t have time to eat dinner with her. “Hi.”
She looked up at him and smiled. “Hi.” Her green eyes sparkled and his wolf perked up.
“I have to get some orders in before the seven o’clock cut off so I need to run, but are we still on for lunch tomorrow?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Around three o’clock?”
“I’ll be there.” His wolf suddenly tried to take charge and he fought an incredible urge to pull Jade into his arms and mark her as his. As he struggled with his need, she reached out and put her hand along his thigh, gently kneading him as if she knew just what to do to calm him down.
He cupped her cheek and his wolf settled down in contentment. It felt right for them to be touching like this, and she must have thought so, too, because she didn’t pull away.
After too short a time, a couple being seated near them startled him back to his senses and he stepped back. His voice was husky when he said, “I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow then, unless I see you later tonight.”
She quietly said with a smile in her eyes, “Ok. See you later.”
**
Jade wasn’t sure why she reached out and touched Sebastian when he came over to talk to her. She frowned when she thought maybe her cat urged her to do that. Her cat sometimes took control and did stuff just because she wanted to, stuff Jade would never in a million years do if she’d had time to think about it.
But it felt good. He went still every time she touched him, almost like he worried she’d run away if he moved. Maybe he was right.
After she ate, she headed home to get her place cleaned up and to make sure she had everything she needed to make her and Sebastian lunch tomorrow. As she walked out of the club, though, Torin and a couple other wolves were paying her way too much attention. She tried to ignore them, but she froze in place when Torin stepped in front of her.
“Hey, gorgeous. What are you doing wasting your time with that loser, Sebastian?”
She frowned at him, not liking the second most powerful wolf in the family paying her any attention. She wanted to run away, but was too scared to move.
He smirked and the guys he was with started cruelly laughing. Suzanne, the coyote alpha, joined the group. She frowned as she stared straight at Jade. “Jesus, Torin, leave the girl alone. If she wants to date Sebastian, she can. She’s not wolf, so what difference does it make?”
Jade wasn’t sure if Suzanne was actually trying to help her out or if she was being just as mean as the rest of them, but she took a chance and quickly left. But the image of Torin’s maliciously taunting smile stuck in her head the rest of the night.
Chapter 9
Sebastian was nervous as hell. It’d been years since he’d been alone with a girl, besides the fact that this was his dream woman. He took some deep breaths and tried to calm down, hoping he didn’t screw this all up.
**
Jade startled when she heard a knock. She was so nervous to have Sebastian over today, she nearly ran into the kitchen table on her way to answer the door.
“Hi.” Sebastian held out a small, flowery plant, looking uncertain and helplessly sexy.
“Is this for me? It’s so pretty. Thank you.”
His dimples showed when he smiled, and her heart melted.
“Please, come on in.”
She felt nervousness from him and it helped calm her down, even though she wished she didn’t feel his emotions so strongly. Still, she’d always imagined he was totally self-assured, so she never dreamed someone like her could unsettle him.
“It smells great in here. What’s for lunch?”
“Venison roast with potatoes, gravy and vegetables.”
He nodded approvingly as she set the small plant on the half wall between her kitchen and living room.
Her heart jumped when his gaze stopped on a picture of her hanging on the wall by her door. She was a teenager in the photo, doing a ballet pose in a pink leotard. She rushed over to cover it with her hand. “Don’t look at that!”
He teased, “Why not? It’s cute.”
She was so embarrassed. “It’s just an old picture.”
“Do you still dance? I mean, like that. Do you still do ballet?”
She took him by the arm and tugged him towards the kitchen. “I haven’t gone to classes in a while, over a year or so, but sometimes I help out at the community center teaching the kids.”
His eyes twinkled. “Of course you do.”
Her heart fluttered, unsure what to make of his comment and the way he was looking at her. She pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and tried to make him sit down.
He let her guide him with a little smirk on his face. “That’s what I always liked about you. You’re a nice person.”
She said in surprise, “You make it sound like you’ve known me forever.”
The smile never left his eyes. “I remember you from school. We had a lot of classes together. I’ve always known who you were.”
She was completely dumbfounded. She always imagined he barely knew her face, let alone remembered anything else about her.
