by Kate Wendley
He put a clean dish in her side of the sink. “Isn’t that what’s nice about being with someone? You should be able to let your guard down and just… be nice to each other.”
She stared at him as if this was the first time she’d ever really seen him. This was the sweet Sebastian she’d always fantasized about, but not the Sebastian she ever thought was real.
He looked at her for a moment, then back at the soapy dishes he was washing.
He said, “Can I ask you something? Why do you live here at the complex instead of with regular humans, especially if you already work with them? You can obviously control yourself well enough to not have to live here.”
She rinsed the bowl he handed her and started drying it. “Because I feel safer here. Even though I don’t like my animal, I still feel more comfortable here, where my family and friends are.”
“You don’t like your animal?”
She didn’t look at him while she shook her head.
“Why not?”
She shrugged and made sure every single inch of the bowl in her hands was completely dry. “I don’t like to shift. It hurts and sometimes my bones break and don’t heal right away. Sometimes not for weeks. And… since I’m not very strong, if I run into other animals on full moon night, I end up roughed up from that, too.”
She could feel his intense attention on her, but she didn’t want to look at him because she knew what was coming next.
“Really? I didn’t know that. Are you part of the blood exchange? You could gain strength from other people. It would help with all of that.”
She quietly said, “I don’t want to drink blood. I’m a person, not an animal.”
She could still feel his attention on her, but he didn’t say anything else. After a pause that was longer than she could bear, he went back to washing dishes.
They finished washing and drying everything in mostly silence, and she put away the last of the dishes.
“You don’t like being touched, do you?”
“What?” He looked intently at her and she almost cringed under his scrutiny.
“I, uh, noticed you tense up whenever someone touches you, or even gets close to you.”
He studied her face, then leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms and frowned. “I’m not used to it, and even though I can control my mind reading power now, it’s so burned into my memory that bad things happen when I touch someone that it’s sometimes hard to remember that I don’t live that life anymore.”
“Bad things?”
He took so long to answer, she thought he might not. When he finally did, he looked uncomfortable.
“When I read someone, I’m in their head and I can see and hear their memories, even search for something I want to know. But the longer I’m in their head, the more their subconscious stuff seeps back into my head. I don’t want to know everything about everyone, and I don’t want their thoughts in my mind afterwards, and definitely not for hours, or even days later. It’s hard to think straight with someone else’s sh−, stuff floating around between my thoughts, not to mention the other person hating me for reading them in the first place. And since I couldn’t control it for those five years, I’d get jumpy when people were too close to me.”
Sebastian carefully watched her, no doubt worried about her reaction to hearing so much about his crazy power.
“And now? You’re still jumpy?”
He took a step forward and pulled her into his arms, her nervousness fading in the warmth of his body. He hugged her and held her close, then whispered against her hair, “Not with you. It only feels weird when strangers touch me.”
“But I’m a stranger to you.”
“I don’t want you to be.”
“You don’t?”
“No.”
She let out a breath and relaxed against him. She barely knew this real version of him, and already she felt safe in his arms.
He hugged her more snuggly and whispered in a heartfelt voice, “It feels good to just hold you.”
Her heart clenched in sorrow, imagining how lonely his life must be.
“Don’t feel sad. Just hold me, Jade. Touch me. That’s all I want.”
Chapter 10
Sebastian left Jade’s and headed back to the restaurant to get to work. He was confused on his way downstairs, though. Had he totally screwed up with her today, or were things ok between them? She invited him over, yet she acted like he was pushing her into something.
He groaned to himself. He didn’t have much experience with this kind of thing… women and families and relationships. He was barely eighteen when he manifested his horrible mind reading power and hadn’t dated all that much before that. Once he became the freak of the community, the only woman he eventually got intimate with was Gina. But that was years ago now, and there was nothing about that train wreck of a relationship that he could use as guidance for how to be with Jade.
He’d mostly tried not to think about women ever since he gained control over his power. Everyone had already branded him as an untouchable by that time, and not in a good way, so there wasn’t anyone that cared that he’d suddenly become normal again by being able to control his ability. No one besides Zach or Anthony, anyway. He’d fantasized for so long about how great his life would be once he got control of his freakishness that once it finally happened, he was crushed that it didn’t change anything for him.
He got over that disappointment just like he got over all the other bullshit in his life, except… things did change, just not how he’d thought. He didn’t have to drink Anthony’s blood all the time anymore, or Zach’s either.
They were both really good friends to put up with him in their minds and drinking from them for those two years. And Sebastian was finally free of unexpectedly getting pulled into people’s heads by accidental touches. People still worried about him being too close, but he didn’t worry anymore about people’s memories suddenly appearing in his mind and confusing him, at least not as much as before. It was hard to change some fears.
But now that he was seeing Jade, if she even wanted to see him again, he felt like he was finally living a real life for the first time in ages.
Sort of.
He was alpha and she was… not. She was so far down on the power scale she was practically the weakest shifter they had in the family. Children were only slightly weaker than Jade, but she was still more powerful than a human.
Having her in his arms today felt really good, and now that they’d fooled around, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He got warm remembering her licking and nibbling on his neck, then her teeth on him. She was excited by his body, he could feel it, but she was also scared of him. Why? He didn’t think he’d done anything bad to her today…
Was she scared of him because she was a virgin? What did she think he was going to do to her? Force himself on her? What kind of person did she think he was? Or was she scared of him for the same reason most people were? He had a reputation for being an asshole, besides being the alpha and besides having his mind reading power. He wondered if he was just too harsh to be around anyone nice. Had he ruined himself by becoming so wild? Maybe she really wasn’t safe around him.
He frowned at that thought. His wolf hadn’t hurt her even when his human brain shut off last weekend after he’d run around at the ranch. So she was safe with him, she just didn’t know it. She didn’t know how much he wanted her, or that she was the only one he’d wanted all these years.
But she was also one of the oblivious ones in the community. Very few people actually knew the crap they dealt with to make sure the supernatural community was safe for everyone, including humans. His job was what it was, and with how jumpy and sensitive she was, he’d probably always have to hide that from her.
It was nice hanging out with her today, though, even if they never fooled around again. It was nice to just have someone new to talk to that didn’t seem to judge him… too much.
**
Jade calle
d Tina almost as soon as Sebastian left.
“Oh my God, you’ve got to tell me everything! How did it go? Did you guys kiss?”
Jade instantly smiled. “Yes. Tina, he’s so sweet, but I’m just not sure−”
“What did he do? What happened?”
Jade sighed. “Nothing bad, but he’s your alpha.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m not into being shifter, and he’s so powerful.”
Tina groaned. “Jade, I swear… is he treating you right?”
She curled up on her sofa as she remembered his arms around her. “Yeah.”
“When are you guys going to see each other again?”
“I… don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Didn’t he ask you out again?”
“No, we didn’t really talk about that.”
“What? Did he at least text you after he left?”
Jade started getting self-conscious. “No.”
Tina sounded exasperated. “You should text him.”
“No! What if he doesn’t want to see me again?”
“You’re not going to know if you don’t ask him!”
Jade growled.
Tina shot back, “Oh now the kitty has claws!” She laughed, then said, “Just text him. See what he says. You want to see him again, right?”
Jade’s heart did a flip flop. “Yeah, I do.”
“All right. Send him a message and call me back in a few minutes. I want to know what he says.”
Jade grumbled into the phone. “All right.”
**
Sebastian’s phone chirped. He pulled it out of his pocket expecting it to be either Anthony or Zach texting him. He stared stupidly at the screen when he saw it was Jade.
Her message said, ‘Hi. Thanks for coming over today. It was nice to see you.’
He had no idea what to say back to her. He fumbled with the keyboard, starting and erasing at least three different responses before finally sending, ‘Can I take you out tomorrow? Do you like gelato?’
Her response was quick. ‘Yes and yes.’ She added a smiley face icon and it made Sebastian’s heart unclench.
He texted back, ‘By the way, you’re a good cook. Hope you have a good night. Three for tomorrow?’
‘Thanks! Three’s good. Looking forward to it. Have a good night at work.’
He texted a smiley face back and his entire body relaxed. She wasn’t totally freaked out by him.
**
Before going to sleep for the day, Sebastian lie in bed thinking about Jade. He felt like maybe his life was finally changing. She treated him like an actual person and it felt really, really good. He replayed everything he could remember about their afternoon together, the silly stuff all the way to the fun stuff.
Oddly enough, it was the silly stuff he couldn’t stop thinking about. Her embarrassment at him seeing her ballet picture and then pulling him into the kitchen to make him stop looking at it. She’d touched him, purposely. And sitting at her table having lunch with her. She made him lunch. Then eating while having small talk that he didn’t even know what he was saying most of the time. The fact that she even wanted to have that excruciatingly awkward conversation with him felt good. It felt like he was doing normal person stuff for once. It was stuff he hadn’t done since before his life turned into a nightmare.
And her parents and brother were nice, too. He could tell they were freaked out by him, except for maybe her mom. He wasn’t sure she really understood who he was, but her dad and brother did. They both rolled with it, though, and even treated him like a normal human being. He respected them for that.
Thinking of Jade’s parents making small talk with him made him think of his own parents. He hadn’t talked to them in about nine years, not since they moved out and eventually became too busy for him. In the beginning they had tons of excuses for why they hadn’t called or stopped by, but the real reason was because they were embarrassed that he’d turned into the freak of the community. They didn’t want to be known as his parents.
He’d accidentally read that from their minds.
He rolled onto his side and focused back on his memories of his afternoon with Jade. Doing dishes with her was nice. Talking to her while they did normal stuff made him want more of that. He didn’t realize how much he missed hanging out and doing mundane things with someone until today.
The whole afternoon was more than he imagined it would ever be and he decided he’d do anything to not scare her away. If kissing her and holding her close was too much for her, even though he’d felt her attraction, then he wouldn’t do it. He’d let her set the pace of their relationship. Frankly, it was nice to just have a girl to hug, and if that’s all they ever did again, he could deal with that. It was infinitely better than what he’d had before today.
**
Sebastian went to Jade’s again on Sunday. He knocked and felt good when she opened her door with a smile on her face. Such a simple thing, but it was something that never happened with him. She reached out to give him a hello hug and half-jokingly said, “Hi. I was worried you didn’t want to see me again.”
He forced himself to be calm, but it was hard, especially when he could feel her desire so strongly. He put his arms around her and lightly smelled her, loving the feel of her body touching his. They pulled apart after way too short a time.
“Why would you think that?”
She cautiously smiled. “Well, after my family showed up, and… other stuff. And we didn’t make any plans before you left.”
He went still and just looked at her. The silence between them grew until he finally put his hands behind him and leaned back against the door. His heart thumped harshly in his chest. “I want to see you. It’s hard for me to ask, though.”
Her eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “It is? Why?”
More silent seconds ticked by before he finally admitted, “Because I’ve tried for years to get people to even just have a simple conversation with me, but it does no good. Not since I got this touching power. I’m the outcast of this place. I can only take so much rejection, so I just don’t ask anymore.”
Her eyes went wide and he so badly wished she was in his arms, but he didn’t dare move. He couldn’t handle it if she rejected him now, not after they’d come this far.
He awkwardly said, “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings by not asking you out right away. I promise it’s not because I didn’t want to.”
Her face started crumbling as she stepped towards him. He kept his eyes on her, still unsure about reaching out to her.
She put her hands on his chest. “You don’t have to apologize.” His breath came out shaky as she touched him, her hands starting a slow exploration of his body.
She looked into his eyes again and quietly asked, “Do you like that?”
He warily nodded as he watched her, his hands still behind his back. He was fearful of moving because he didn’t want to scare her away, though she seemed more self assured today.
His voice came out husky when he said, “I like everything about you.”
She looked surprised, then stepped even closer and hugged him. He closed his eyes, and when he realized she wasn’t going to quickly pull away again, he wrapped his arms around her and gave himself permission to relax in her arms.
Chapter 11
Torin’s phone rang, and he scowled to see it was Zach calling. “Yeah?”
“Hey buddy, I need a favor.”
He glared at his computer as he flatly said, “I’m not your buddy and I’m not your assistant.”
“Yeah, so Anthony’s girlfriend Kaia, have you been introduced to her? She’s coming over right now and needs to head straight to Anthony’s office to do some work. She needs an escort, and if you wouldn’t mind, could you get her some food as soon as she gets here?”
His blood boiled. Just because he wasn’t the Alpha Wolf anymore, and just because Zach was the jaguar’s alpha didn’t give him
the right to order Torin around. “You need me to do this why?”
Zach just as chirpily as before said, “Sebastian’s out taking care of some things for the elders and isn’t back yet, so it looks like I’m Anthony’s feeding partner for the night. He’ll be up about the same time Kaia gets here and she obviously needs a bodyguard. No one will try anything if you’re with her. I know Anthony would appreciate that.”
Anthony. Fuck him. Except Anthony was the head honcho around here. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to at least pretend to help him out this one time. Who knows? It might even get him out of this dead end job if Anthony thought he was being helpful.
Still, he couldn’t muster much excitement when he said, “What time will she be here?”
A quiet sigh from Zach made Torin smile. Good. Zach knew he was pushing it with him. “She’s on her way now, so maybe ten or fifteen minutes.”
“Fine. I’ll go down right now.”
“Thank you.”
He grumbled and hung up on him, stuffing his phone back in his pocket. He had to go be a babysitter for a vampire’s human. How demeaning a task was that? Just because it was Anthony’s human didn’t make it any better. And what was Sebastian doing for the elders? Torin never got asked to do anything for them. He hated not being more valued around here. He used to be the Alpha Wolf. He should be shown respect.
He growled under his breath as he put his work aside and shut down his computer. He hated this job. He was sick of doing bookwork to get young wolves signed up for human college classes, taking care of car repair expenses, and all the other paperwork that had to be done to support the wolves in their everyday lives. Not that he was responsible for it all, far from it since he was just a glorified data entry clerk. He had no ambition to learn more about the office work, though, but also wasn’t really sure what he did want.
This was his sixth job around the complex and so far none of them had inspired him, yet he felt like he should be here. He didn’t want to be in the human world, not when the real family business happened here, in these buildings where Anthony and Sebastian lived and worked. No, Torin would stay here and wait for them to totally fuck up so he could step in again and prove his worth to the family.
