by Aven Jayce
“You passing the Washington Park area?”
“I can.”
“You don’t have to go out of your way. I’ll walk once we reach the city limits.”
“What street?” She repositions her mirror so it’s on him.
“Where do you live?” he whispers.
“South Pine Avenue, at Cortland Street,” I say.
“Just...” He looks up at her. “I’m fine with getting out around the Washington and Lark area. That’s close enough.”
I write once more on the notepad and set it in his lap.
I don’t care where you live. I’m not a snob.
I care. He writes back. Date tomorrow or not?
“Yes.”
“Library,” he says softly.
“That’s unusual.” I place my hand on his leg, gripping his knee. “It’ll be a first. I can’t wait.”
“The library on Washington. Outside, not in. We’ll go for a walk. That alright?”
“Sure thing.”
“Good, I haven’t seen the city in a year.”
“Did you murder someone?” Jess blurts out.
“What the fuck? Would you shut up?!” I shout. “Nadine, fix your friend. That was rude and hurtful to Quinn and me.”
“Jess, she’s right. Don’t be so boorish.”
“No, I’m right. You’re planning a date and should know more about the guy before meeting him outside the library.”
“It was the wrong question to ask,” I fume. “Besides, how can you be this judgmental after having your vagina stuffed with a stranger’s dick? Hypocrite.”
Brian bursts into laughter, agreeing with me, but Nadine waves a finger for us to stop.
“It’s a reasonable question after Roxanne’s comment,” Jess insists.
“No,” he answers faintly. “I haven’t killed anyone.”
We quiet down after hearing the wounded sound of his voice. Jess spends a good five minutes between his reflection in the mirror and the road, back and forth, gradually sensing she was wrong.
“Sorry,” she says. “I’m bold sometimes... well, all the time. A cheeky woman who should realize when it’s time to stuff a sock in it.” She puts herself down, trying to clear the air.
“That’s the truth,” Brian agrees, checking his cell. “You like sports, Quinn?”
“Played baseball and football in high school.”
“What positions?”
“Quarterback and pitcher.”
“No shit? Adlyn, you can go out with this kid anytime. I’ll even loan you my car.” He laughs. “Did you play in college?”
“Right here. This is good.” Quinn directs Jess to pull over, opening the door before she comes to a complete stop. “Tomorrow at four?” He glances at me as I slide over and take his seat.
“Tomorrow at four.” I grin.
The door closes and I wait until he’s far enough away before spinning toward Jess and smacking her arm. “Thanks a lot. You really offended him.”
“Well, maybe that should tell you something. Roxanne didn’t mention that murder thing without good reason. Obviously, I hit a sore spot with the guy or he would’ve brushed it off.”
I put my sunglasses on and stare out the window, watching him disappear down a side street. “What’s that neighborhood like?” I ask Brian.
“I wouldn’t walk down there even in the light of day, if that tells you anything.”
“Think he’ll be okay?”
“I’d say so, considering his size and that he seems familiar with the area. As long as he’s not part of any gang.”
“Doubt it.”
“Well, tomorrow when you meet up with him, make sure you two walk in the opposite direction, not over that way.”
“What’s your fascination with him?” Nadine asks, as Jess heads to our neighborhood. “Besides the fact that last night your tongue fell out while admiring his good looks.”
“Gorgeous looks,” I correct her. “And no, I’m not superficial, there’s more. He’s been kind and affectionate towards me, and he seems innocent. I don’t know if that’s an act or not, but it feels real. He also has a secretive side about his past... and the present. I’m drawn to that.”
“Secrets can be dangerous.”
“Maybe.” I take the last sip from the bottle he left behind, tasting his salty lips on the rim. “I think he needs help.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “Except... I haven’t figured out what he needs help with... I don’t know; I just have a gut feeling we were supposed to meet.”
“So in other words he’s a lot like you,” she says. “Innocent, secretive, hiding from the past, looking for guidance.”
“I didn’t think of that,” I whisper.
“Do you still have that pepper spray I gave you?” Brian asks.
“I carry it in my purse. Why? You worried I’ll need to use it on Quinn?”
“No,” he says. “But considering the direction he’s headed, you might need to use it on whoever he’s with.”
Chapter Seven
PURSUIT
“O-O-PHEEELIA, mmm-mmm.” I hum, listening to The Lumineers on my cell while waiting for Quinn.
The late afternoon sun has made the park bench in front of the library sizzling hot. I keep repositioning my ass, trying to tug my shorts down so the backs of my legs don’t burn. Just a little lower... a wee bit... a teeny-tiny bit. Oh, fuck it. I’ll just stand.
There’s a tree nearby, offering a small amount of shade. I walk over and raise my foot on the trunk, continuing to scroll through my music. It’s past four. 4:15 p.m. to be exact... he’s late. But I’m cool with that, considering how excited I am. Brian and Nadine on the other hand, not so much.
Their lecture on how to defend myself, what to do in an emergency, yadda-yadda, was the same discussion my mom and I had when I was thirteen. I just don’t get it—I’ve taken off to Jersey before without such a fuss. Must be because a guy’s involved.
A stunning guy at that... here he comes. Wow. Black T-shirt and a crew cut. Hot.
Okay, maybe I’ve been wrong. A man in my life might be part of the answer to finding happiness again. Not entirely, although it sure does help. I can feel my face exploding with delight... wait... what happened to him?
“Hi. You look—”
“Did you get in a fight? What’s that mark under your eye?” I reach out and he tilts his head, backing away from my touch. He swallows hard, leaning against the tree with me.
“You look beautiful.” He finishes his sentence, nervous, with his head down. He’s holding job applications, the corners being folded over as he speaks. “I’ve been thinking about you all day... which makes... makes this hard.” He swallows again, refusing to look at me.
“What are you doing?” My stomach tightens.
“I’m sorry. I can’t go through with this.”
“What? The date. What are you talking about?”
“This...” He sighs. “I... I can’t figure out how this will work. You and me.”
“If it’s because I live in that area of Pine Hills—”
“No. Well, kind of.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know.”
“Damn it.” I gaze heavenward, blowing strands of hair off my forehead. “Just like that? You said yesterday you were all in.”
“I didn’t think it through.”
“What did you think through?” My voice rises. “Luring me to the barn to try to fuck me? And what happened to your face?”
“It wasn’t like that. And nothing.”
I feel anxious. No, not anxious, it’s a panicky feeling of desperation that’s come over me... because of my mom. He’s going to walk away then eventually fade from my memory. It sucks when people come and go from my life.
“I don’t have money, Quinn. My uncle does, and I can’t help that. It’s not mine,” I speak quickly. “And if it’s about who’s poor and who’s rich, if that’s the case, then what wer
e you thinking at Afterglow? You came after me the moment you saw me. You know the people who go there are loaded. Plus, the way you came on to me, how fucking sweet you were. Was it just a game? Pretending to like me just to get in my fucking pants. Fuck you.”
I start to walk up the street, toward the garage where I parked my aunt’s car, hearing his footsteps following close behind...
“I didn’t pretend. You weren’t a game to me. That’s why I can’t... Adlyn, stop. Stop!” He takes my arm, pulling me to the side of the building and away from everyone on the sidewalk. “Listen... I like you. Okay? I was up half the night thinking about you... thinking about what us would be like... but there’s nothing I can do. I’ll never be able to make you happy.”
“Bullshit. What does that even mean? You wanna know what I think? I think you’re just a... a... a big... ergh! I’m too bothered to come up with a good word. I hate it when people make me feel this way. God, I’ve told myself time and time again not to get my hopes up because people just disappear from my life in a flash. This time it happened before it even started.”
“Stop. I don’t want to do this. I have to.”
“Why am I even mad? I should just say, fine, to hell with you, and go home. Actually, that’s a good idea. I am going home.” I jerk away, on route to the car. “I’m surprised you even showed up here today.”
“I’m sorry,” he says in a desolate voice.
“It’s time. Let’s go!”
I peek over my shoulder, observing a woman in a raincoat, ratty jeans, and flip-flops, yelling to Quinn while giving me the finger. What the fuck? That was rude... and what’s with the coat? There’s not a cloud in the sky.
Her hood’s up, covering her face, and brown hair hangs out the front—long enough to flow over her breasts. He heads in her direction, pointing across the street to where he wants to go. And... fuck, he’s taken in her arms as soon as they meet, rocked in a never-ending hug.
What the hell?
My long strides change to a stroll, my eyes fixed on the two of them.
Screw this. Does that asshole have a girlfriend? Am I that dumb?
I stop and set my hands on my hips, hoping he turns back to see how furious I am. I should march right up to that girl and tell her about... no, I’m not the type. Shit, I was really starting to like him, too.
Your first crushes won’t last forever, Addie. Relationships when you’re a teen are ephemeral. You have a long way to go and plenty of men to meet before you find your soul mate.
“What about now? When I’m twenty?” I respond to my mom’s voice in my head. “You gave me that advice when I was seventeen. I want to hear something new from you.”
I stand in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing a man with his bulldog and a woman with her two young children to walk around me. I’m stuck, debating whether to follow after him to give him a piece of my mind, or just head home and drink for the rest of the night. Neither choice will end well, but I’ll choose the lesser of the two evils.
I start a slow walk, then quicken my pace, trying to catch up to him.
Quinn not wanting to go on this date because my uncle has money is a lame ass excuse, and if it’s because he has a girlfriend, then that’s a whole other fucked up situation... fess up, buddy.
Has this chick been waiting for him to come back for an entire year? Wait, two nights ago he said he hasn’t felt a woman in years. So did he meet her last night? And if he just hooked up with her, then what makes her so goddamn special over me? The more I think about it, the angrier I get.
I’m two blocks behind them, gaining a block when they wait to cross an intersection. There’s not much down this way once you reach Interstate 787, past that is the Hudson River.
I place the strap of my small handbag across my chest, gaining ground with a jog. The girl runs ahead while Quinn makes a sharp turn and disappears down a side street.
Good, I can talk to him without her around.
There’re restaurants and cafes in this area and I’m overcome with the scents of pizza, baked bread, and coffee drifting upward with the warm breeze rolling off the river. I stop outside the last business on the street, taking my time to slowly turn the corner. It’s a parking lot, not a side street like I thought, and Quinn’s at the far end... what the fuck is he...
“No way!”
He turns and my heart leaps. In a panic, I sprint to the street, hiding in the doorway of an Italian restaurant. Is he... no... I can’t imagine... ugh, my cell’s ringing. I dig through my purse, frantic to answer it before he hears the ring.
“Hello?”
“Why are you whispering?” Nadine asks.
I take a quick look and spot him walking toward the Interstate, swinging a brown paper bag in one hand while still holding the job applications in the other. He didn’t see me.
“Where are you going?” I say quietly.
“Who? Is everything okay?” she asks.
“I just left the house forty-five minutes ago. I’m fine.”
“Hmm... you don’t sound fine.”
I exhale, annoyed that she’s checking up on me. It’s a loving gesture, but also points to the truth—she doesn’t trust Quinn.
“Addie?”
“He called it off with no good reason, so I’m following him. I want to know what the hell’s going on.”
“No. No, no, no, no... Brian!” she shouts. “Get in here. We have a problem. I need to talk to you.”
“Aaah, I have to go.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m downtown, give me two hours. Love you.” I put the cell away, my palms and feet sweaty and the blister on my heel’s starting to throb.
Heat rises off the sidewalk. The metal detailing on the cars parked along the street target me with errant flashes of light that are blinding at times, creating dark spots in my vision.
As I follow, I wonder again if the money disparity is a lie. He got a haircut. His shirt looks new. He must have some cash on hand. It’s gotta be about the girl. I mean, so what if he’s not rich. I don’t give a flying fuck. How can I get that through his head? No, it’s the girl. Has to be the girl.
I want to shout his name, take a minute to tell him off then go home, but I’m becoming engrossed in the chase. I haven’t come this far not to find out where it’ll end.
We’ve been walking parallel to the Interstate for eight blocks. I’m still far enough behind to stay out of view, resting on and off, adjusting my sneaker, attempting to get the heel to stop rubbing my blister. Fuck... it opened, I can feel it leaking, and the throbbing has changed to a burning sensation... bummer, and another phone call.
“Hi Brian,” I answer.
“Nadine said you hung up on her. What’s going on?”
“I’m kinda busy. Besides, I thought our conversation was over.”
A bus parked along the street makes a great buffer. I poke my head around the front, seeing Quinn walk beneath the raised Interstate, toward the Hudson River. I wait for him to be out of sight before shadowing his path.
“What are you doing?”
“Huh? Oh, I’m... window shopping.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Ummm... sorry. Okay, I’m down a ways. Past some railroad tracks.”
“What? What tracks? Give me a street name.”
“I’m following him.”
“Shit... Nadine was right.”
“I told you,” I hear her say.
“I’ll be fine. I need to figure out why he pulled a 180 today. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“You don’t even fucking know him! Tell me what area you’re in.”
“That’s the whole point. I want to know him.”
“Are you walking north, in the direction he was headed yesterday?”
“No. South first, now north.”
I hear Nadine speaking in the background and the phone switching hands.
“Give me a sec. I can’t hea
r with all the traffic.” I drop the cell to my side, skulking below I-787, through a paved parking lot, and reaching the Mohawk-Hudson bike trail that runs along the river.
Ahead, I see Quinn standing next to a homeless man who’s asleep under a tree. He taps the guy on the shoulder, making an effort to wake him with no luck... must be passed out.
I linger off the trail and remain unseen while he opens the bag, putting something by the guy’s hand before continuing on.
“Okay, I’m back.”
“Adlyn Margo Moore.” Nadine’s tone is slow and direct. “I want you to stop whatever it is you think you’re doing, go back to the car, and come home. Right. This. Minute.”
“Why don’t we ever come down this way? It’s so pretty. The trail’s cool and shady, lined with tall poplar trees, and there’s a nice breeze.”
“Look, don’t take offense, but get your ass home!”
“No, you’re making me feel like a prisoner.”
“Wait, where are you?”
I pass the homeless guy. He reeks of hard liquor and body odor, and now I see what Quinn left by his hand... a bagel.
“He’s feeding the homeless,” I whisper.
“What? Addie, answer me.”
“Sorry. I’m on the trail next to the river.”
“She’s on the Mohawk-Hudson trail,” she says to Brian.
“Give me the cell.” He takes it back. “Addie, what part are you on?” Brian’s voice fades in and out as he talks to both Nadine and me. “Is she on drugs? Addie, did you take any drugs today? Did Linnet ever mention anything like that about her? She’s acting way too calm about this whole situation. She’s not even fazed about being by the river alone. Are you stoned? Did he give you weed?”
“No. I’m fine. And my guard’s up. I have the pepper spray and I’m watching my surroundings. Although it’d be easier if I weren’t talking on my cell.”
“What part of the trail?” he asks.
“North I think. I took a left when I reached the river. There was a small dock where I started... I’ll be fine, Brian. If you’d just calm down and wait... like, give me two hours and I’ll be home. I need to do this or I’ll wonder about it forever. Please?”
“It won’t be dark for some time,” he says to Nadine. “I’m not sure what to do in this situation. What do you think?”
