'My Dearest Lorna,
This is just to tell you that Manoel and I are leaving for Brazil tomorrow with Francisco and Nannie, a dragon of a Scotswoman whom Rafael found for us (trust him!).
I'm sorry my letters have been so brief since you left, but I haven't had much time since I came from the nursing home. Now, with all our trunks packed and nothing to do until we leave tomorrow, I really feel I must sit down and say hello to you all over again.
You will not be; surprised to hear that Rosalia is now Deveer. Although the wedding was a simple one there was a great hullabaloo about it, and your eyes would have popped out if you had seen the linens and silver in her trousseau! This house was so full of family I could have screamed, but thank goodness most of them have already left.
Inez was a bridesmaid, and although I don't like her I must say she looked beautiful. She's still here and struts around like the cat that swallowed the canary, in this case the canary being Rafael.'
At this point Lorna's legs gave way and she sat down on the edge of the bed. Although she had imagined the eventuality of Rafael getting married, seeing it confirmed was like reading her own epitaph. She bent her head to the letter again, tears blurring the print.
'I don't know how you feel now you are home again, Lorna. Your letters have been so noncommittal that I can't read between the lines, but I suppose you want it this way. I didn't know whether or not to mention Rafael's name or to tell you that Inez was here, but if we're going to keep in touch in the future I don't want to hide things from you now. Don't keep me waiting too long for a letter, I'm dying to know whether you see much Of Derek and if any romance is brewing between you.
I've never thanked you properly for coming out here to keep me company. It was like old times having you with me and I hope we won't have to wait years before meeting again.
Now I really must stop. Manoel's waiting to take me out and he's getting impatient. Believe it or not, he's been most attentive since I've come home, and I intend to keep him up to scratch!'
The rest was an almost illegible scrawl with the signature standing out clearly.
Slowly Lorna put down the letter and stood up. If she had been in any doubt about her future course, Amalia's letter had more than shown her the way. How easily Rafael had forgotten her; how quickly Inez had been restored to favour! Well, she had learned her lesson, and if the sun never shone quite as brightly for her, or the beauty of the moon seem quite as appealing, no one except herself would know.
Soon the party was in full swing, and flitting from one person to the other Lorna had little time to think. The radiogram played softly and a few couples began to dance while others laughed and talked, their voices raised against the clinking of glasses and music.
Derek was the last to arrive, and Lorna greeted him warmly.
'The flowers were marvellous, but you shouldn't have been so extravagant.'
'You invite extravagance, my pet.' He kissed her lightly. 'Happy birthday, darling, I'm sorry I'm the last to wish it to you.' He took off his coat. 'Never be an accountant, my dear, I'm so busy worrying about other people I haven't time to worry about myself.'
That's just as well.' She led him into the room and waved her arm. 'I think you know most of the people, so I won't bother to introduce you.'
'And those I don't call "bud". I'm sure they'll be only too pleased to answer - especially if I'm offering them a drink!'
In the laughter that followed they moved into the dining-room and Lorna was kept busy passing plates of sandwiches and cakes. It was nearly ten when her aunt appeared from the kitchen with a magnum of champagne.
'A toast to Lorna's birthday!' Derek called. 'Come along folks, fill 'em up!' With a loud pop the cork flew off and champagne frothed into the glasses.
'Speech, Lorna, speech!' someone called.
Lorna looked round the small room. 'I don't know what to say,' she stammered. 'I rehearsed something, but now I've forgotten every word! I'm not awfully good at making speeches, but I'd - like to thank you for coming here and — and—' The door bell rang.
'Saved by the bell!' Derek cried.
'I'll take it,' Marion Fairfax said. 'It might be one of the tenants complaining about the noise.'
'Bring him' in and give him a drink. That'll cure his complaints!'
There was more laughter and as it subsided Marion Fairfax came back.
'A visitor for you, Lorna.'
Lorna took a step forward, drawing back as she saw the tall dark man framed in the doorway. Rafael! The blood pounded in her ears and her body trembled so violently that she could not walk.
'I hope I'm not intruding.' He came towards her, his tan startling by contrast with the unfamiliar dark suit. 'I didn't know you were having a party, Lorna.'
'I - I — it's my birthday.'
'I see. I'd have brought you a present if I'd known.'
'Oh no, there was no need.'
He continued to look at her, and awkwardly she began to introduce him. This done, she looked for Derek, but he was nowhere to be seen, and as Rafael remained firmly by her side she desperately made conversation. 'You must be hungry. Would you like something to eat?'
'No, thank you. I've already dined.'
'A drink, then. You must have a drink.'
She hurried across to the improvised bar and as she turned round with a glass, found that he had followed her. Her hand shook, spilling the liquid, but he took it from her without a word.
'To you, Lorna. A happy birthday.'
'Thank you.' There was a little silence and she searched her mind again for something to say. 'How is everyone? I heard from Amalia today and she told me she was leaving for Brazil. Rosalia's married, isn't she? It must be quiet in the house now, apart from your mother, I mean. I - I—'
Still he said nothing, and she continued: 'I didn't know you were in England. How long have you been here?'
'Just over a week.'
'So long?' It was an involuntary exclamation.
'Not long when you consider the business I had to do. I came to see you at the first opportunity.'
'There was no need,' she said hastily. 'Now if you'll excuse me - the other guests…'
Not for anything in the world could she have remained at his side a moment longer! Why had he chosen today of all days to arrive? Indeed, why had he bothered to come at all? With grim determination she laughed and chattered with her friends, but she was tense to the point of screaming, and with every fibre Of her being longed to be alone. Although she did not look at Rafael she was acutely aware of him in the corner of the room, his face aloof and unsmiling as he watched her.
She ignored her aunt's signals to include him in the conversation, but she had reckoned without his magnetic charm and soon he was the centre of attraction, the men amused by his witty conversation, the women by his attentiveness. Only Lorna still held aloof, and she was drained to the point of exhaustion by the time the party started to break up. Slowly the flat emptied until only one of the girls, Derek and Rafael were left.
Betty Sands looked in the direction of the intriguing foreigner and lowered her eyes engagingly.
'It was wonderful to meet you, Senhor Rodriguez.' Her Portuguese pronunciation was atrocious, but she was pretty enough for it not to matter.
Rafael's teeth flashed in a smile. 'The pleasure was all mine.'
'Not at all,' Betty smiled, showing two dimples. 'I hope we meet again. Well, I suppose I'd better be running along, Lorna. It's awfully late, I do hope I can get a taxi.'She looked coyly at Rafael, but he said nothing and there was an awkward silence until Derek bridged the gap.
'Don't worry about a taxi, Betty. I'll take you home.'
There's no need for. you to go,' Lorna said hurriedly. 'We can always get a radio cab. Stay a little while longer.'
' 'Fraid not. I've a busy day ahead and it's past twelve.' Derek moved into the hall and Lorna followed him.
'For heaven's sake don't leave me alone! Can't you see I don't want you to go ?'
'I can see a lot of things. That's why I'm not staying. I can't fight your battles, Lorna darling, especially when you don't want to win.'
Before she had a chance to reply Betty came back with her coat and with a last flurry of good-byes Lorna was left alone in the hall.
Marion Fairfax came through from the kitchen with a tea-towel in her hand. 'Thank goodness it's over! I'll just stack some of the glasses in the kitchen.'
'You can't leave me too,' Lorna whispered furiously. 'What is this - a conspiracy ?'
'Rubbish! What's the matter with you? You've been pining to see him ever since you got back from Portugal, and now he's here you act as if he were the last man in the world you want to see.'
'I can change my mind, can't I?' Angry tears welled into Lorna's eyes. 'I don't want to have anything to do with him, can't you understand ?' 'You're acting like a child. For goodness' sake behave yourself.'
The kitchen door closed, leaving Lorna with no alternative but to return to the drawing-room alone. Her mouth was dry and waves of panic surged up inside her so that she felt physically sick and longed to run out of the flat into the dark streets - anywhere as long as she did not have to face Rafael.
She clenched her hands and closed her eyes, opening them again to find him staring at her.
'Are you ill?' He took a step forward and she drew back.
'No, just tired. It's late and I've had a busy day. Can I get your coat?'
'No, you can't. I didn't come here to be fobbed off with an excuse.' He caught her arm in a painful grip. 'Come inside and sit down. I want to talk to you.'
His voice was cold and distant, and not daring to look at him, she obeyed. For a moment he stared at her bent head.
'My God!' he burst out abruptly. The last thing I expected to find was a woman made of ice. How can you sit there looking so calm? Anyone would think we'd never met!' His voice shook with anger. 'You deserve a damn good smack, and I've a good mind to administer it!'
'You're not in Portugal now!' She lifted her head furiously, but as their eyes met her anger evaporated. 'Please go, Rafael,' she Whispered, 'please go.'
'Not until I've finished what I want to say.'
Don't you think you've said enough?'
'I do not! We've got to talk this thing out'
'No, no, not again! I can't bear it, Rafael.'
'And do you think I can? Do you think that I'm made of stone. Porra! How do you think I felt when I got home and found you'd gone? Why didn't you wait to see me? Why did you take the coward's way out?.'
'It was the only way. What good would it have done if we'd seen one another — what good is it doing now? More quarrels, more bitterness.' She turned her back on him and wiped her eyes. 'I wish you'd go,' she said wearily. 'Nothing has changed.'
'On the contrary, a great deal has changed. Unless you do not consider my living in London a matter of interest to you.'
Lorna stared at him incredulously. 'I don't understand.'
'Don't you? It's quite simple. I've transferred my office from Lisbon to London in the short space of three months.'
'You're joking!'
'I do not consider it a joke to give Up my home and try to find one of comparable beauty in this city of yours!'
Lorna leant back against the chair. After the excitement of the party and Rafael's appearance, it was too much to learn that he had left Lisbon in order to live in London. She closed her eyes to hide the sudden flow of tears, opening them again as he placed a glass against her lips and forced her to drink. The neat spirit ran down her throat and she choked.
'No, Rafael, I'm all right now.' She pushed the glass away and sat up. 'What you just said - could you repeat it again?'
'I don't want to waste time in words,' he said savagely. 'We've wasted too much time already. The house at Hampton Court will be completely furnished by the end of the month and I can say good riddance to living in a hotel!'
'But why have you left Portugal ?'
'Do I need to tell you? You were never stupid, cara, except where I was concerned.' He leaned down and tilted her face so that her eyes looked directly into his. 'It's so simple when you think it out. You won't live with me in Portugal, so I must live with you here. You didn't think I was going to let you walk out of my life as easily as all that, did you?' He shook his head. 'Lorna, Lorna, I'm surprised at you. I thought you knew me better than that.'
'But you never wrote - never got in touch with me.'
'There was nothing to say. As you said yourself before, it had all been said. Besides, words wouldn't have convinced you. You wanted action and you've got it.'
She started to laugh, laughed until the tears came into her eyes, and he pulled her into his arms and let her cry against his shoulder.
'I don't know what to say, Rafael, I can't believe it! These last three months have been agony - agony! I couldn't get you out of my mind - couldn't believe I'd never see you again! Oh, darling, if only you'd told me what you were going to do I'd never have let you!' Between her sobs the words tumbled out. 'To think that you're willing to give up your home for me — to say goodbye to your friends and all the things you love. Oh, Rafael, you make me feel such a beast!'
'Do not call the woman I love a beast,' he said sternly. 'She is a darling, an angel, even though she's also a silly, frightened girl.' He took out his handkerchief and tenderly wiped her tears away. 'Don't you know that I love you too much to let anything come between us ?'
She leaned back and looked into his face. 'But won't it be difficult for you to live here - for your business, I mean?'
'Fortunately not. I've an office in London anyway, so all it meant was that I've taken my manager's place here and put him into the Lisbon office instead.'
'I can't believe it's so easy.'
'Not easy,' he said ironically, 'but very easy compared to living my life without you.'
She sighed tremulously, and with the tips of her fingers caressed his cheek. 'How did you know I wouldn't have fallen in love with someone else in the last three months?'
His eyes narrowed into tiny pinpoints of light. 'You wouldn't have been the Lorna I knew if you had, and then it would have served me right for misjudging you.'
She was shaken with laughter. 'Oh, darling, you're incorrigible. I'll never be able to fathom the way your mind works!'
'All the better. I want to keep some secrets from you!'.
He reached into his pocket and drawing out a familiar leather box removed the ring and slipped it on her finger.
'You once said you'd never put it on a third time,' she said as she looked down at it.
'Because I was stupid and arrogant. But I've learnt enough now to know that you can't have real love without humility.' He stroked back the hair from her temples and kissed the shadows beneath her eyes. 'Darling Lorna, I'm afraid I won't be an easy person to live with. No matter how much I try there'll be times when I'll unwittingly hurt you, when I'll make you cry.'
'Now you're saying things against the man I love!' She twined her arms around his neck, loving the feel of his crisp hair beneath her hands. 'I still can't believe it's true! Are you sure I won't wake up and find I'm dreaming?'
'Will this prove it?'
Her reply was stifled as his mouth came down on hers. Freely she gave herself to his desire, revelling in the knowledge that she could arouse him to a passion that was his master. After a long moment he drew away, shaking his head slightly as he looked down at her parted lips, her half closed eyes.
'I'll have to call you Lorelei if you tempt me like this,' he said huskily.
'Don't you like it?'
'Too much.'
With a happy sigh she relaxed against him. 'I still can't believe you've given up your home for me.'
'Not given it up, querida, only left it for a little while. It will be there waiting for us, waiting until our love is cemented by years of happiness and we are so much a part Of one another that nothing can come between us — nothing can destroy us! We will go back
to Portugal one day, cara, but until that time I am willing to live your kind of' life.'
'And yet I never said that to you,' she cried. 'You make me feel ashamed. Oh, Rafael, I've been so stupid, I should have known from the first that wherever we are it doesn't matter as long as we're together. I am home when you hold me in your arms, home when you kiss me and say I'm yours.'
'Then you are home for ever,' he whispered against her mouth. 'For ever and ever.'
Rachel Lindsay - Alien Corn Page 17
