“No sex talk. We need to discuss this more before you tell him anything else.”
“Right. I wouldn’t want to teach my man whore ways to your son.”
I rolled up the window and pulled away before she had a chance to say anything else. I dropped James off at school and saw that his friends were pointing to my truck and asking him questions. He smiled slightly before waving and going into the school. At least it seemed I had one person that liked me.
Work flew by and before I knew it, it was already seven o’clock at night. I was loaded down with work, but the reality was, I wasn’t looking forward to going home to my new situation. I was extremely attracted to Cassandra and her kid didn’t seem too bad, but all she did was criticize me so far. When I had proposed the idea to her, I had imagined that she would practically fall down on her knees and rip my pants open to get to my cock, or some other form of gratitude. Instead, she didn’t seem to want me or even seem happy that I had helped her.
I finally left about seven-thirty when I could no longer justify staying at the office. I drove home as slowly as possible and when I got to the garage, I sat outside for a good ten minutes trying to will myself to go in. When Cassandra poked her head out the door and waved me in, I heaved a sigh and dragged my ass inside.
Cassandra was in the kitchen cleaning up what looked like dinner dishes and Ryan was sitting at the picnic style dining room table doing his homework. I glanced around the kitchen and noticed there were no plates of leftovers and no little containers that held my dinner. Great.
I went over to the fridge and started pulling out stuff for a sandwich. It was too late at night to cook anything.
“I think we need to set some guidelines about the way things are gonna go around here,” she said in a low voice. She probably didn’t want James to hear. He was in the other room and didn’t seem to be paying attention.
“Yeah, like maybe dinner being ready when I get home,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What?”
“I said, sure. I just want to eat my dinner.” She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Before you have any deep and meaningful conversations with my son, you need to talk to me first. He’s only ten and I need to be sure that what you say to him is appropriate.”
I took a bite of my sandwich and tried my very best to not say anything stupid right now. It pissed me off that she thought I was so incompetent that I couldn’t judge what was appropriate to say to a kid. I’ll admit, the sex conversation could have gone better, but there’s just no way to sugar coat sex.
“A parent called me today to say James was talking about sex with her son. Apparently, James told him all about how women have a hole down there and that’s where a boy sticks his penis when it gets hard.”
I continued to chew my sandwich. I just didn’t have anything to say to her. Obviously, she wouldn’t listen to me if I told her that I was trying to explain it in the least graphic way. She didn’t care. She only cared that her little boy now knew about something that was dirty.
“Are you even listening to me? Parents have the right to choose when their child learns about this stuff. I don’t want my son informing other kids about the birds and the bees.”
I went to the fridge and grabbed a beer. I took a long drink to wash down the sandwich and all the shit I wanted to spew at her right now.
“You’re giving me the silent treatment? How is that mature?”
“Hey, Ryan! Guess what? I finished the first Harry Potter book. Now you can read it and I’ll start on the second.”
“Sounds good, kid.”
“Do you want to go upstairs to the loft? We can start our books together.” He looked so excited and actually seemed like he wanted to spend time with me. If it was between staying down here and listening to Cassandra rag on me some more about how I talked to her son or reading a book about a wizard, I’d gladly get out my wizard hat.
“Yeah. Let me finish my sandwich and I’ll be right up.”
“Cool!” He ran upstairs and I finished my sandwich, all the while Cassandra was shooting daggers at me. I grabbed my beer and headed for the stairs.
“You are not seriously drinking around my son?”
I turned to her and chugged the last of my beer, then threw the bottle in the sink where it smashed into pieces. She looked at me with wide eyes before I turned on my heel and headed upstairs.
James was sitting on the couch in the lounge area outside his room and had two books with him. I sat down on the opposite side and he handed me the book. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Not exactly my idea of a good read, but what the hell. James and I sat in silence for the next half hour reading. I had to admit, the book wasn’t too bad.
“James, it’s time to get ready for bed,” Cassandra said from the top of the stairs. He closed his book and hopped up.
“Alright, Mom.” He turned to me with a hopeful expression. “Same time tomorrow?”
“Sure, kid.”
He ran off to his bedroom and I placed the book down on the coffee table. I brushed past Cassandra and headed downstairs. I had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my night. It was only eight-fifteen and I didn’t want to go to bed yet, but I didn’t want to be around Cassandra either.
I walked down to the lower level and sat in one of my leather chairs, staring out the window. I hadn’t bothered with the lights because I wanted to see outside. I used to think this was my sanctuary. It got lonely at times and I wanted to someday have someone to share all this with. When I asked Cassandra to marry me, I’d thought it would turn into something great, but the way things were going, I wasn’t sure how long we’d make it before one of us killed the other.
I sat down there staring out at my backyard until well into the night. I fell asleep at some point and when I next woke, the sun was peeking up over the horizon. I sat up and immediately regretted not going to bed last night. My neck was stiff and I could only look straight ahead. This was going to make for a shitty day at work.
I walked upstairs to take a shower, but when I got to my bedroom, the bathroom door was locked and I could hear Cassandra getting ready. I walked over to the closet and grabbed my clothes for the day, then went back downstairs to use the other bathroom. Since all my bathroom stuff was locked with Cassandra in my ensuite bathroom, I had none of my usual bathroom supplies, so the five o’clock shadow that I would normally shave off was going to have to be there the rest of the day.
I didn’t bother getting upset about the fact that I couldn’t use my own damn bathroom or that I couldn’t shave. It just wasn’t worth it. The situation was what it was and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it now. I made my bed and now I had to lie in it.
James wanted me to drop him at school again and after a slight nod from Cassandra, I loaded him up in the truck and headed off for the day. I went through my day on autopilot and decided that I was going to head to The Pub when the work day was over. Logan had been watching me all day and kept giving me strange looks. When I stepped into The Pub, I wasn’t at all shocked to see that he had followed me or that he had called the guys.
I walked over to the table where they were all hanging out and saw they had already ordered beer for me. I took a long swig preparing for the Q & A session.
“So, you got yourself hitched.” Sean said. “You said I was crazy for getting married.”
“Guess I’m just as crazy. Only difference is, you actually like your wife.”
All the guys sent each other questioning glances.
“I thought you liked Cassandra. What’s going on?” Cole asked.
“Basically, I married her to help her out with an upcoming custody battle. Only problem is, now that we’re married, she doesn’t seem to approve of anything I do.” I shook my head in disgust. “Everything I do, she bitches at me and tells me I’m wrong. Can’t do a fucking thing right in her eyes.”
“When did you get married?” Drew asked.
“Saturday night. In Vegas.”
I drank down the rest of my beer and signaled to the waitress for more. She quickly brought another round and I sucked back another beer. When the guys didn’t immediately jump on their beers, I grabbed another from the table.
“It’s only Wednesday. Give it time,” Jack said. “Women are stubborn and you have to let them warm up to you.”
I gave him a quizzical look. “I married her to help her out financially so she could keep her kid. I moved her out of her crackerjack apartment to my house, that’s she taken over by the way, and she rags on me for every little thing I do. Oh, and I forgot, she doesn’t want to blur the lines of our relationship, so no sex. Yeah, and it’s only Wednesday.”
“Welcome to marriage, buddy,” Jack said slapping me on the back.
“What did you expect? That she would get down on her knees and suck your cock because you helped her out?”
I looked at Logan with a raised eyebrow. He barked out a laugh and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Damn, Ryan, you have a lot to learn about women.”
“Look, we’ve been dancing around this attraction for a year and half now. Why is it so wrong that when we got married I thought we would have a real marriage?”
“It’s not, but she’s got her kid to think about. She’s thinking that this is going to end and she doesn’t want to get hurt.”
I turned and looked at Drew questioningly. “Since when did you become Dr. Freud?”
“It’s the same shit Sarah went through. She needed to protect her and the twins first. She didn’t want to start something that she wasn’t ready to finish. Same thing with Cassandra. I bet you that fancy house of yours.”
“Alright, so she’s thinking of her kid. I get it, but it’s my goddamn house and I can’t even use my own bathroom.”
“You think that’s bad? I have two kids at home and..Sarah’s pregnant. Shit. I haven’t spent more than five minutes in my bathroom since we got married. Now with another on the way?” He shook his head.
“So, congratulations?” Cole said.
We all kind of looked at each other, not knowing what to say.
“I mean, yeah. I’m excited. The twins are mine, but this is my kid, ya know. It’s..” Drew took a deep breath and blew it out. “It’s good. Really. I’m happy. I’m just realizing that I will never have my own space anymore. The twins are turning two and soon we’ll have another.”
“What are the chances you’ll have another set of twins now that Sarah already had one set?” I asked.
Drew visibly paled and looked like he might pass out. Cole quickly pushed in the chair behind him. “Shit. I didn’t think about that. Can that happen?”
I shrugged. I didn’t have a fucking clue, but it seemed if it could happen once, it could happen again. “What about you, Cole? Are you and Alex having kids anytime soon?”
“We’ve been trying for a while now, but..” He shook his head. “I guess it’s just not meant to be.”
“That sucks, man. After all you guys have been through,” I sympathized.
“Is it.. I mean, do the doctors think it’s because of what she’s been through?” Sebastian asked. He still felt responsible for everything that had happened to her. Every time he saw her, you could see it in his eyes that he felt he’d let her down.
“They think it could have something to do with when she was missing, but they aren’t sure. They told us to just keep trying, but not to put too much pressure on ourselves.”
It seemed we all had our own problems to deal with. Maybe it was a good night to get wasted.
CHAPTER SIX
Cassandra
I HAD WANTED to apologize to Ryan when he got home from work. I had been really hard on him and I could see it on his face when he got up this morning that I was wearing on him. He hadn’t come to bed last night and when I went downstairs to find him, he was asleep in the chair. I didn’t want to wake him in case he didn’t want to be around me.
I couldn’t explain why I was acting the way I was. I was so worried that I had introduced Ryan to my son and it would somehow screw him up. When I heard him telling James about sex, I was just so shocked at how detailed he was being that I lost it. I had been the sole parent to my son for so long that I wasn’t sure I knew how to let go.
Headlights shown through the window and I stomped over to the window to look out. It was past eleven and he was just getting home. He hadn’t called or sent a text to me and that was just rude. I couldn’t see much because the headlights were still shining, but someone got out and crossed in front of the pick up and then two figures were walking toward the door. I swung the door open and glared at Ryan who was being held up by Logan.
“What the hell is this?”
“Hey there, wifey. I got a little drunk, so my pal Logan brought me home.”
“How much has he had to drink?” I asked Logan.
“Enough that the bartender cut him off,” he said as he pulled a stumbling Ryan through the door and plopped him on the floor near the bedroom.
“What the hell was he thinking? He has a family at home now to think about.”
“Does he?” Logan asked. He stared me down for a moment and I started to squirm under his penetrating gaze. “You want me to get him in his room? Or maybe he should sleep downstairs again?”
I had a feeling that Logan knew way too much about what was going on between Ryan and I. I suddenly felt the need to defend myself. Logan couldn’t know everything that was going on between us. He’d only heard Ryan’s side.
“Look, things between us have been tense, but that’s no excuse for him showing up drunk at this hour. There’s a little boy upstairs that waited on him to come home because he promised to read with him. You tell me how that’s fair.”
“What happens between you two is your business.” He looked over at Ryan and I followed his gaze. Ryan was slumped over against the wall passed out. “All I know is that he thought he was going to be helping you out and ever since he married you, he feels like he’s failing you. He’s trying. Maybe you should think about if you could say the same.”
He turned and walked out the door, driving away moments later. I turned back to look at Ryan and felt shame creep in. Logan was right. Ryan had been trying to help me and I’d just been shitting on him. I wasn’t even sure if I’d thanked him for all he’d done for us. I walked over to him and tapped him on the face to wake him.
“Hmm?” His eyes fluttered open and a faint smile touched his lips. “Wifey! I think I fucked up. Are you gonna yell at me some more?”
“No, but I think we should get you to bed. I don’t think you’ll be very comfortable sleeping against the wall.”
I grabbed him around the arm and stumbled a few times trying to get him up. We struggled to make it to the bedroom and when I finally got him on the bed, he was passed out again. I took off his shoes and tie, but left the rest of his clothes on. I placed a wastebasket on his side of the bed and climbed in next to him.
As I laid in bed, I thought about how nice it would be to lie next to him as the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. If only things were that simple. It took me a while to fall asleep because Logan’s words kept me awake. I felt absolutely terrible that Ryan had done this amazing thing for me and I had been yelling at him and criticizing him for the past four days. I wasn’t sure how, but I would make it up to him before I totally destroyed what he was trying to do for me.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Oh fuck.”
I rolled over to see Ryan’s arm draped over his face to block the light. I got up and pulled the shade to block the light from coming in. It was a little later than I normally got up, but I didn’t care this morning.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked as I sat down on the bed.
“No. I just need a shower.” He sat up and gripped the sheets as if he was trying to hold on for dear life. “How did I get home last night? I didn’t drive, did I?”
“No.
Logan dropped you off. You were quite drunk.”
“Yeah, well. Shit happens.”
He got up and stumbled to the bathroom, so I went into the kitchen to make coffee. I could hear James upstairs moving around, so I went ahead and made breakfast. I wouldn’t have a lot of time to get ready this morning, but I needed to be sure that my son was at least fed.
When Ryan got out of the bathroom, I called upstairs to James that his breakfast was ready and then went to take my shower. Ryan looked like shit this morning. He didn’t shave and he looked really hungover. Not at all the professional Ryan that I knew.
“Not shaving again today?”
“Well, yesterday the bathroom was occupied and I don’t have time this morning, so this is how I’m going. You got a problem with that?”
I guess I deserved that. I hadn’t been very kind to him, so I supposed it was only so long before he got tired of my shit.
“I made you some breakfast. I thought it might help.”
He grunted and finished getting dressed.
“I’m sorry about-”
“Look, can we not do this today? I feel like shit and I have to get to work.”
A small stab hit me straight in the chest. I knew I didn’t have any right to feel so hurt, but I was trying to apologize for my shitty attitude. Maybe it was just too late. “Sure. If James is done eating, we’ll take you to work.”
I walked out of the bedroom as tears pricked my eyes. I would not cry. I would not cry. I had done this to myself. He just needed some space now and maybe when his hangover was gone we could talk and work things out.
James was finishing up eating, so I grabbed my travel mug and filled it with coffee. “Why don’t you get your shoes on. We have to drop Ryan off at his office this morning, so we need to leave.”
He hopped down off the stool and slunk over to the door by the garage. He was still disappointed that Ryan hadn’t been home last night to read with him. For the first time in his life, he felt like he had a father figure to hang out with and already he was being disappointed. I tried to tell him that Ryan must have had to work late, but it didn’t mean a thing to him.
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