“Thank you. I’m so very sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. Life can change so unexpectedly.”
The procession moved on and Riley was on her own.
54
Riley didn’t go to Garrett’s house. She couldn’t picture herself pretending to fit in with his family’s friends and relatives. Who was she to Garrett anyway? A friend? A coworker? The girl who was supposed to be recording with him? Or was she the girl he kissed several times and then changed his mind about? And to be honest with herself, she didn’t know what she wanted to be to him.
She checked into her budget hotel a few blocks away. The simple room was cool, which was a nice change from the stifling summer heat of San Antonio.
At one point she ventured out and found a tourist area with souvenir shops, a movie theater, and a wax museum. If she went to the museum, would she find a life-size figure of Garrett? She shuddered and then laughed at the creepiness. She checked out the Alamo and ate dinner at a sub shop before retreating to her hotel room.
Riley wondered what Garrett was doing. Probably surrounded by friends and family. He said he’d been avoiding his brothers the past few months. Not much avoiding he could do anymore. What would they do now that their dad had died? Would Garrett ever come back to Chicago? She kind of lucked out with her timing to quit. Now Garrett had much bigger things to worry about than her.
Later that night she lay on her bed watching TV, waiting for tomorrow and her flight home.
It had been nice to see Garrett and meet his brothers and mom, but she probably shouldn’t have spent all this money for five minutes with him. Why had she come anyway? Something about Garrett kept drawing her in, as if she had no control over her emotions. Her phone beeped.
A text from Garrett. She sat up.
Are you still awake? he texted.
Yes.
Want to go for a walk?
Her heart took off. Sure.
Where are you staying?
She texted him the address.
See you in ten.
Riley hopped off the bed and ran to the mirror, did a couple of quick makeup touch-ups, and ran a brush through her hair.
Stepping outside, she found that the sweltering heat of the day had subsided into a balmy night. She waited on a bench in front of the hotel, fully expecting him to pull up in a fancy sports car. As the minutes passed, a lone figure appeared from the darkness, just outside of reach of the streetlight. In the dim haze she could tell the stranger wore a cap and cargo shorts. As he came closer, she recognized him to be Garrett wearing a faded San Antonio Spurs T-shirt and sandals.
Riley stood. “I didn’t recognize you at first. I thought you’d drive and then we’d go for a walk.”
“Our house is less than a mile from here.”
“I’m surprised you could get away,” she said.
“I had to. We’ve had nothing but togetherness for the past four days and I think we all need a break from each other. Makes me wonder how we survived on tour for so long. Any place you’d like to go?”
“Wherever you like is fine.”
“All right.” They set off side by side at a casual pace. “You didn’t stop by this afternoon.”
“No. I didn’t want to intrude.”
“You wouldn’t have,” he said in a soft voice.
Did he really mean it? “How are you doing?”
“Fine, I guess. It’s actually a relief to have the funeral over. It feels like weeks since he died, and like the world stopped and nothing else existed outside of our pain. It’s weird being out and not surrounded by family and the heavy reminder that Dad died. It’s strange seeing people going about their business as if no huge tragedy just happened.”
“The funeral was nice. I think your dad would have really liked that song you and your brothers sang. It was beautiful.”
“Dad loved Crosby, Stills, and Nash, and especially that song. He taught it to us when we first started out. He said it was about how important it was for parents to teach their children, but just as important for children to teach their parents.”
“Interesting. I never thought of the song that way before.” There was a lot she needed to teach her mom, but was her mom willing to learn? Probably not.
They entered a busier area, with more traffic and tourists walking about.
“Aren’t you worried people will recognize you?”
“Not really. This is home to me. I refuse to let that get in the way of me getting out to my old hangouts. Plus, our manager said there’s a huge engineering conference in town. They aren’t exactly the Jamieson demographic. Between that, the heat, and how late it is, I doubt I’ll be recognized. Have you seen the River Walk?”
“No. I was going to, but I didn’t really understand where it was. I did check out the Alamo.”
“When I was a kid, our school took us to the Alamo once a year. But everyone should see the River Walk. Come on, I’ll take you down there.”
They took a turn and Garrett guided her to an old stone bridge and a staircase next to it. Down one level, a secret world opened up before her. Where a street should have been, there was a river. Open-air restaurants with bright-colored umbrella tables lined the waterway, and savory scents wafted through the air. Flower baskets burst with color and trees draped with twinkling lights leaned over the river as if helping to hide it from the rest of the world.
“This is amazing.”
Garrett smiled. “I thought you’d like it.”
People milled about the narrow sidewalks that ran along the river. In some spots dining tables were set inches from the water’s edge. Live music played in the distance.
They passed under an old bridge that arched across the river. “There’s nothing even close to this in Chicago. San Antonio must have been a great place to grow up.”
“It was. My grandparents moved here when they were first married. My grandpa was in the air force and got stationed here. They liked it so much, they stayed. Of course, this area wasn’t so built up back then.”
They climbed to the top of a small bridge. Lights from the restaurants shimmered over the water.
“I used to come down here with my friends all the time when I was a kid. We’d get in trouble for dropping this concoction we made. It looked like bird poop. We dropped it off the bridges as the guide boats passed below. My dad would get so mad, but then later, I’d overhear him telling my mom and laughing.” Garrett smiled at the memory.
Riley could picture a young, mischievous Garrett. “How is your mom? This must be incredibly hard for her.”
“She’s been so strong for all of us. The only thing my mom ever cared about was family. Then suddenly, the band broke up and all of us scattered. My dad had planned a big trip for him and Mom. They were supposed to leave . . . I guess it would have been a couple days ago. Dad said they were finally going to see the sights instead of being rushed from one concert venue to another. Now it’ll never happen.”
They walked for a while in comfortable silence, their hands occasionally brushing together, but he didn’t take her hand.
“What are your plans?” She wanted him to say he was returning to Chicago, and held her breath waiting for his answer.
“Honestly, I have no idea. I can’t imagine abandoning my mom right now. I’d like to be here to help her figure out all this legal stuff she’s got to face.”
“I understand. Listen, about the things I said at the House of Blues—”
Garrett interrupted. “Don’t think twice about it. A lot was going on that night, it was such a mess. It feels like a million years ago to me.”
She was about to say that maybe she’d reconsider recording with him if it would bring him back to her, but it sounded like maybe he was giving all that up. She’d turned into a damn yo-yo with her emotions whipping one direction, then another.
“Did you and your mom make up?” he asked.
“Not really. I’m trying to keep her at a distance, otherwise she takes over m
y life.”
“Sounds like a smart idea. It’s a lesson that I need to learn, too. I seem to have a problem with overstepping my boundaries.”
They saw a bench overlooking the river and sat.
“I’ve been a real jerk,” he said.
“No.” She smiled. “Okay, maybe a little.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching since my dad died, and I don’t really like what I’ve found. I practically forced you to sign on with me.” He stared straight ahead as he spoke.
“No, I walked into that knowingly; I needed the money.”
“And that’s the wrong reason to record. Did you know that I have been jealous of my brothers my whole life?”
“Why?” She couldn’t imagine Garrett being jealous of anyone. He was confident, talented, and when he wanted, so charming she couldn’t think straight.
“I don’t know why, but I always was. When Peter was born, everyone made such a big deal about the new baby. He was this sweet little kid who everyone loved.”
“I’m sure they loved you just as much.”
“Yes, but I couldn’t see it. And then Adam came along and it was worse. I was supposed to be the more responsible one. I was held to a higher level than my brothers.”
“I can relate to that.”
“And then they were both more talented than me. Peter could sing, play, and write the best songs. And Adam was this happy, goofy guitar genius. I could play, but never to Adam’s level, and I couldn’t write, and I wasn’t strong enough to be a lead singer. They were always better, so I needed to succeed in other ways. So I made sure I was in charge. All the time. Looking back, it wasn’t fair. I interfered when I shouldn’t have. I acted like I knew more than they did.”
“Why are you telling me all this?”
“Because I wanted to give you a little insight into why I’ve been such an asshole. I don’t want to be that jerk anymore.”
“There’s a lot more to you than being a bossy jerk.”
“We’ll see about that. I want you to know that I’m going to tear up the contract.”
“But . . .”
“You signed it for the wrong reasons, and the way I pushed you was inexcusable.”
Was she experiencing relief or dread? At least she wouldn’t have to go to battle with him, but it also ended their time working together.
“It’s going to take me a long time to pay back all your money, but I will. I’m not like my mom. I’ll do it.”
“The money is yours. You earned it.”
“I couldn’t.”
“Yes you can, and you will. It’s clear to me that you’ve had a rough time, and if that money helps get you back on track I’m more than happy to do it. But there’s something else you need to know.”
“Okay.” Was it grief that drove him to say these things?
“You don’t need to pay the insurance company back for that accident.”
“Now you’re sounding like my mom. I’m not going to ignore my responsibilities.”
“That’s not what I meant. All you need is a decent lawyer to represent you. They’ll be able to prove to the court that you were never in possession of the car and couldn’t have possibly been driving it at the time of the accident.”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“I have, and I’ve talked to one of our attorneys. Here’s his number. He’s offered to represent you pro bono, for free.” Garrett handed her a slip of paper from his pocket.
“I really won’t have to pay it back?”
“Guaranteed. It’s a simple case. I figured that’s how it would work when you first told me about it, but I wanted you to need the money, so I didn’t mention it. I’m sorry.”
He stood and she followed as he walked along the river’s edge.
“What about the three songs we finished?” She was proud of what they’d done together. Would those songs ever be heard again?
“Eventually I might like to do something with them, but not right away. I have a lot more to figure out in my life, like how not to mix business and personal. I messed up with you big time. I thought I could mold you into my idea of a star.”
“I don’t mold very well.”
He laughed. “No, you don’t. You’re one of a kind. Don’t let anyone change you. I want to be a better person. I owe it to my dad. Next I’m going to try to fix some of the scars I’ve inflicted on my brothers. It’s the least I could do.”
Her heart broke for him. “Your dad was very proud of you. I saw it when he came to Chicago.”
Garrett smiled sadly, clearly not believing her.
They got up and continued to walk, coming full circle on the River Walk. After, Garrett brought her back to her hotel.
“Thanks for flying down. You didn’t need to, but it was nice that you did. What time is your flight in the morning?”
“Early, six.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“It’s okay. I already ordered a shuttle.”
He nodded. “The walk has been good.”
“I’m glad. Are you going to be okay walking home this late?”
“I’ll be fine. I wish I could say when I’ll see you again, but I honestly don’t know.”
“I understand. I’m sorry you have to go through all of this.”
“Thanks. I should let you get to bed.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then headed off into the darkness, leaving Riley with more questions than answers.
55
The day after his father’s funeral was eerily quiet. Garrett found his mom at the kitchen sink washing dishes. The well-wishers were gone, and extended family had returned home.
“Good morning.” He leaned against the kitchen counter wearing only an old pair of shorts.
“You slept in. I’m glad.” She smiled lovingly.
Still half asleep, he rubbed a hand over his face. “I did.”
“How is your friend?”
“Good. I showed her the River Walk. She liked it.” Riley was probably back in Chicago by now. At least he’d had a chance to apologize and make things right.
“She seemed like a nice girl. Are you still recording the album with her?”
He went to the refrigerator and pulled out the orange juice.
“We kind of had a big blowup the other day. It was the night that Dad died.” He tilted the carton back and drank.
“He told me.”
Garrett wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “He did?”
She nodded. “I overheard him talking to you. It sounded pretty heated.”
“It was. Dad wasn’t happy with the way I’d handled things with Riley. It was a pretty horrible last conversation. I could hear in his voice how disappointed he was in me.” Garrett’s heart ached.
“What did you do that upset him so much?” She washed and rinsed another drinking glass.
Garrett grimaced. “I never told Riley about the videotaping until she got there. She was really sick that day, and didn’t want to go on.”
“Performing sick is never easy.”
“I called her mom to come down, because I thought that would make Riley feel better, but it ignited a huge fight. It was out of control.” He’d had no idea her mom would be so unsupportive. All he’d ever known from his parents was encouragement.
“Maybe you should have kept her informed.”
“But if I told her, she would have freaked out.”
“I must ask, do you want to be the kind of businessman who forces people to do what you want?”
“That’s pretty much what Dad said.” Garrett frowned.
“He was a very smart man.”
“Yeah, he was. The last time I talked to him we argued. I can’t help but feel if I hadn’t upset him so much, he’d still be here.”
She wiped her hands dry on a dish towel. “Garrett, you are not responsible for your father’s heart attack. He’s had heart problems for years, you know that. I’m sorry your last conversation with him was
difficult, but you need to let that go. He was so proud of you.”
Garrett shook his head in denial. The memory of his father’s disapproval broke his heart, and he couldn’t do a thing to fix it.
“Listen to me. Your father loved your phone calls. He’d tell me about your conversations and the progress you were making. He talked about how you were reinventing yourself in the face of adversity.” She rubbed his back. “You are a lot like your father.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Oh yes, you are very much like him, and he loved that. I think that’s why he pushed you so hard, because he knew you could handle it.”
“I miss him so much, Mom,” he whispered, his grief threatening to pour out.
His mom wrapped her arms around him. “Me too.”
Ten minutes later Peter and Adam returned from dropping Libby and Marti at the airport. The girls had summer jobs to get back to in Boston. Garrett envied his brothers’ tight bond with their girlfriends. Riley’s face popped into his mind. She would have gotten along well with Libby and Marti.
Now it was only the four of them. They gathered around the patio table, quiet, as they tried to settle into whatever their new normal would be, over cold beverages and a plate of cookies a neighbor had brought by.
“So tell me what your plans are,” their mom said, pouring herself a glass of iced tea.
“Nothing, really. I thought I might go for a run later,” Peter said.
“I didn’t mean for today. I meant for tomorrow, next week, and next month.”
Garrett exchanged confused looks with his brothers.
“I’m home now. That’s my plan. To be home,” Adam said.
“I love you boys more than anything, and losing your father is a terrible blow to all of us, but staying home grieving isn’t going to work.”
“What do you mean?” Adam asked, looking confused. “You want me to go get a job?”
“No.” She squeezed his hand. “While we all need time together to grieve, it’s just as important that you boys get back to your lives. You’ve traveled the world; you are far older than your actual age. It wouldn’t be healthy for you to move back to your childhood home. Staying here would make you crazy.”
Under the Spotlight Page 24
