There was no reason for her to be afraid—none at all, unless she was part of the terrible secret.
“I’m sorry,” Juliette whispered, reaching for his hand. “So very sorry. I wanted to tell you for so long. But I had to keep the secret.”
Matthew stared at her, noting the shape of her nose that was so similar to his own. Her hair held the same color as his, and he suddenly guessed the truth she had not spoken.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” He moved closer and knelt down beside her chair. “You are my true mother.” He kept his gaze fixed upon hers, now understanding why Charlotte had taken him in—to protect her niece from scandal. All his life, he’d had a special bond with Juliette, never realizing that she was not merely his cousin—she was his true mother.
But there was another piece to this puzzle that was missing. “How do you know Sarah Carlisle?”
Juliette closed her eyes as if pushing back the pain. “Your father’s name was Brandon Carlisle, the Earl of Strathland. Sarah is his sister.” A darkness slid over her face, and she admitted, “He raped me, and I became pregnant from it.”
He squeezed her hand, deeply troubled by her confession. The thought of someone hurting this kindhearted woman brought out a flare of rage. He knew that Strathland was dead—but it didn’t diminish the dark fury Matthew felt at knowing he’d been sired by such a monster.
With effort, he tamped down his emotions and kept Juliette’s hand in his. “I am sorry for what he did to you.”
She nodded. “It was terrible. But I endured, thanks to Charlotte.” She steeled herself and admitted, “I confided in her, knowing she would help me. She pretended she was taking me away on a tour and that I would be her companion. But Lord Arnsbury knew the truth. They planned that Charlotte would claim you as her baby. Everyone was told that she stayed in Norway to give birth, being fearful she might lose the child.”
Her grip softened on his hand, and she said, “The labor was very difficult, and I nearly died. I was only eighteen when I gave birth to you, and you meant the world to me. I visited Charlotte often, because I needed to see you. I needed to hold you in my arms and be a part of your life. It’s why I was named your godmother.”
She reached out to touch his face. “I wish I could have told you the truth sooner, but we decided it was the best way to protect your inheritance. Only a few people know the truth.”
“Your husband?” he questioned.
She nodded. “Yes, of course. I told Paul long ago, before we married. And I was fortunate that he did not go off and kill Lord Strathland, as he wanted to. But the earl died when you were only a year old, after he was shot.” Her green eyes turned pensive. “I was glad of his death, as terrible as that might sound.”
He didn’t find it terrible at all. “Perhaps it is a good thing I never knew him. Else I might have shot him myself.”
“I am thankful he was not part of your life. And believe me when I say you could have had no better father than Lord Arnsbury. He and Charlotte could not have showered you with more love. It broke my heart to give you to them, but at least it gave me a chance to see you often and to know you were well cared for.”
Matthew handed her his handkerchief, and Juliette wiped her eyes. “As for Sarah, she may cause scandal if she speaks of it, but she cannot threaten your place as earl. Your father baptized you as his son. Furthermore, you were formally recognized in the House of Lords, and no one can take your title from you. Be assured of it.”
“Why did my father pay her anything at all?”
Juliette stood from her chair and said, “Her life was controlled by her brother, and she was struggling to survive. Lord Arnsbury promised to give her a small yearly sum in return for her silence.” She paused a moment and added, “Then, too, before you were born, she was infatuated with Lord Arnsbury. She was caught alone with him at a soiree, and though nothing happened, Lord Arnsbury refused to marry her to save her reputation. She was unable to show her face in society, and she was treated poorly. I think the earl felt sorry for her, and the money was meant to atone for her shame.”
He thought of Lily and the seduction. They had been fortunate she had not become pregnant on their first night together, before he’d left for India. Otherwise, she could have been in the same situation as Juliette, alone with a newborn child.
“And would you continue to pay her?” he asked.
“Either that, or try to arrange a marriage for her. Sarah has led a difficult life and has been a spinster all her days.”
Matthew could not imagine finding a husband for such a woman, but he finally said, “I will think upon it.”
He rose from his chair, studying Juliette. It felt as if his life had been turned upside down and then right side up all over again. But he was glad to finally know the truth.
For that reason, he opened his arms and embraced his mother once again. Though he understood the reasons for their secrecy, he was grateful for the truth.
Juliette cried when he hugged her, and she whispered, “I love you, my son. And I pray that you will find the same happiness in your own marriage that I have known in mine.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Two weeks later
“Are you feeling any better?” Lily stood at the doorway of her sister’s room, hesitant to enter. Rose was lying on her bed, propped up on pillows. For the past fortnight, her sister had remained in this room, struggling to keep down any food. Iain had been reluctant to return to Ireland alone, but she could not have endured the journey.
Rose gave a weak smile. “It’s been a grueling morning, I fear.” She grimaced and reached for a cup of water.
Lily stepped inside the door and asked, “Can I get you anything?”
“Another stomach?” Rose closed her eyes. “Or perhaps you could transform time so that it’s four months from now. They say it will get better, but I have my doubts.”
“I’m certain it will.” Though what did she know about it? She had never been pregnant before. A blush stole over her face as she thought of what she had done with Matthew in the library. Though her courses had not yet come, she felt no cause to worry. He had written several letters to her and said that his mother was improving, and he would try to return to her soon. They would marry, and all would be well again.
“You’re daydreaming,” her sister predicted.
“I’m missing Matthew.” It felt empty with him gone, and even though she tried to occupy her days helping the neighbors with their dogs and horses, the mantle of loneliness crept over her at night.
A knock sounded at the door, and her grandmother and her brother entered the room. “Good morning, Rose.” James held out a small beribboned box. “Your husband bade me give you this. He said it would help with your illness.”
He gave the offering to his sister, and when Rose opened it, she exclaimed, “Caramels! Oh, James, thank you.” She nibbled at one, and the confection seemed to improve her disposition. Her pallor grew rosier, and when James tried to reach for one, Rose swatted him, laughing. “These are mine. You cannot have any.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “You wouldn’t have them at all if it weren’t for me.”
Lady Wolcroft stepped forward and intervened. “A man should know better than to try and steal food from a pregnant woman. It isn’t wise.”
But Rose smiled and tossed him a caramel. Turning the subject, she said, “I think it’s time that Lily returned to London. She and Matthew need to make their wedding plans.” With a nod to Mildred, she asked, “Can you accompany her, Grandmother?”
The older woman sat down in a chair beside the fireplace. “Of course. Amelia has been pestering me about it for the past fortnight. She won her wager and cannot stop gloating about it.”
A tension seemed to knot in James’s forehead. “Lily, you won’t be rushing into marriage. There are some rumors I’ve heard recently that need to be considered.”
She had no idea what he was talking about. “James, I am not rushing into anything. I’ve
known Matthew for years, and I love him.”
“You may think you know him, but—”
“He told me about India.” She did not want to hear anything more about Matthew’s past. “I know what happened, and we will put it behind us.”
“Walk with me,” he said, lifting a hand in farewell to Rose. Lily knew it was because he did not wish to upset their sister. Lady Wolcroft started to follow, but he shook his head and closed the door behind them.
“What is it, James?”
“People are saying that Matthew was not the earl’s son. There are stories about him being a bastard, adopted while the countess was traveling with her niece.”
She recalled the note she had received from Adrian Monroe. Matthew had dismissed it, saying that his cousin was only trying to gain money, and she had believed him. “That’s ridiculous. Matthew was the earl’s pride and joy. Lord Arnsbury acknowledged him as his heir.” She saw no reason to give rein to idle gossip. “No one can take his title from him.”
“True, but they can cause a scandal. It was the cause of his mother’s heart trouble. She was deeply upset by the stories.”
IAnd it must have upset Matthew as well, she knew. Lily wished she could be there with him now, to reassure him and offer her love. She needed to go to him and do everything she could to help.
She met her brother’s gaze. “I don’t care what others may say. I am going to marry Matthew.”
“Not yet. It would not be wise,” James said. “Let the talk die down, else it will overshadow the wedding.”
But she had no desire to wait, not anymore. “I want Mother to attend the wedding.” Her voice thickened with emotion, but she held back tears. “She’s not well, James. I don’t know how much longer she will have.”
Her brother’s expression turned grim. “A few weeks longer, Lily. Don’t rush into this.”
“We will be married at Penford. That way, Mother can be here, and there will be no gossip about her madness.” She pushed back her feelings, not giving him the chance to argue any further.
Emotions roiled inside her, and she passed by the drawing room where her mother was sitting with a basket of dying flowers in her lap. Iris was tracing the outline of a dried chrysanthemum bud, her face pensive.
More than anything, Lily wished her mother could share in her happiness and join in the wedding plans. But Iris’s temperament was fragile, and more often than not, she spoke without any clarity.
Her brother came up behind her. “Leave her be. She is content right now.”
“But I am not.” Her words came out as a whisper. “I wish she could share in my happiness and help me with the wedding plans.”
James rested a hand upon her shoulder. “It may never happen, Lily.”
“I don’t want to believe that.” And when she pulled away from him, she added, “But I am going to London in the morning. I will have my gown made for the wedding, and we will return here to be married as soon as Matthew can get the license.”
But her brother did not appear willing. “You don’t know what sort of scandal you will face in London. I’m trying to protect you, Lily.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She couldn’t believe he was even asking her to delay the wedding because of idle talk. “I intend to wed Matthew by Christmas, no matter what anyone says.”
Her brother’s hand tightened upon her. “Then I am coming with you, Lily.” His tone held a warning, and she didn’t doubt that he would remain an overprotective brother.
“And what of Mother?”
“She must remain here. I think Grandmother should stay with her, along with Rose.”
Their mother was busy making a chain of dead chrysanthemums, threading the stems through one another. She was singing to herself lightly, and her eyes were vacant.
Lily took a breath. “All right. But when we return, I will marry Matthew.”
Her brother said nothing and only squeezed her hand.
Matthew refused to stand aside and allow anyone to threaten his family. He had arranged a meeting with Sarah Carlisle and intended to put an end to the blackmail.
But more than that, he wanted to learn more about the night she had been caught in a compromising position with Lord Arnsbury. She held Matthew’s adopted father responsible for ruining her.
He walked up the stairs to the tiny townhouse where she lived. Years ago, it might have been a quiet dwelling of luxury, but it had fallen into disrepair. Ivy covered the brick façade, and the stone steps were cracked.
Matthew knocked upon her door, and Miss Carlisle answered it without a word, opening it wide so he could enter. Her face was tightly drawn, and she led him inside before she finally spoke. “Why have you come?”
He gestured for her to sit down. “We need to come to an understanding. I have the right to know what happened with my parents.”
She folded her arms and took a chair. He did the same, sitting across from her. The look in her eyes spoke of a woman who had no intention of cooperating. “And why should I tell you anything?”
“Because you want money. You want to continue living here in your brother’s house where it’s safe. I want to know what happened to you, to my parents, and anything about my father.” He stared hard at her. “And by that, I mean your brother.”
Her expression softened slightly. “So you discovered the truth, then.”
“I know who my parents are, if that’s what you mean. But you should know that, even if you expose our secrets, it won’t matter. My father, the rightful earl, formally recognized me as his son. My inheritance and title cannot be stripped away.” He wanted to disarm this woman, so she would not try to harm his family.
“Perhaps not. But words can harm a family, nonetheless.” She straightened in her chair. “And there are others who want to cause a scandal.”
He wondered if she was speaking of Adrian, but she did not elaborate. In her face, he saw the lines of hardship. Her eyes were not those of a cold-blooded vulture. No, she was a woman fighting to survive. His father had pitied her and had given her a small stipend for years. But Matthew suspected that money had not solved her hardships.
“What is it you truly want?” he asked quietly. “A husband? Perhaps a family of your own?”
Her mouth thinned with disdain. “Don’t mock me. I know no man would ever have a woman like myself. I am ugly and poor. And my brother—your father—was an arrogant madman who deserved to die.”
The vitriol in her voice took him aback. They were the bitter words of a forsaken woman. But he needed to know more about her circumstances. “What did Lord Arnsbury do that caused you to be ruined?”
She let her gaze drift toward the dirty window. For a moment, she paused, her expression turning sad. “I was a different girl then. So filled with dreams. I thought I could win the heart of an earl, and Lord Arnsbury was kind to me.”
Matthew waited for her to continue and pressed further. “What did he do?”
Miss Carlisle shrugged. “He saw me among the wallflowers and smiled, that was all. He might have been smiling at someone else, but I wanted to believe that—if I could only talk to him—we might become friends.”
Her face turned distant, and she shook her head. “It was my fault that I was enchanted by his handsome face. I followed Lord Arnsbury down a hallway, hoping to speak with him. He was already conversing with the Duke of Worthingstone, and I lost my courage. I hid inside the conservatory to avoid them. But there was. . .another man already there.” Her voice trailed away, and a deep flush suffused her face.
“He was intoxicated and tried to kiss me. H-he tore my gown. I struggled and called for help. Lord Arnsbury heard me. He struck the man and forced him to go.” There was a pained note in her voice. “I was caught alone with Lord Arnsbury, and my dress was torn. I hoped that the earl might offer to marry me, because I was found in a compromising position. But he refused.”
She took a breath and admitted, “I know it was my fault for following him. He had done nothing wrong
and certainly didn’t want to wed me. But my brother was. . .difficult about the situation. I never told him which man attacked me, for I didn’t want to be forced into marriage with that blackguard. And certainly Lord Arnsbury wouldn’t have me. But after I was ruined, Brandon was insufferable. We were no longer invited to balls or soirees, and he blamed me for our lack of invitations.” There was a weariness in her voice, and Matthew suddenly understood his father’s sympathy toward her. This woman had endured her older brother’s ridicule and had been a spinster all her life.
“Brandon did not know he fathered you until just before he died. Be glad of it,” she said. “There was a darkness in him, a terrible anger that he could never control. I pray you have none of his madness within you.”
Her words speared him with an uneasy fear. Matthew had told himself that it was the torture in India that had brought out his darker side. And yet. . .what if there was something of Brandon Carlisle within him? What if there was a madness in him created by the blood of his father?
He didn’t want to imagine it. “I am sorry to hear of your misfortune,” he said quietly. “And while I understand that my father was willing to pay you a small stipend for your misfortune, you might be happier if you made a new life for yourself. Perhaps with a husband of your own. My family could make the introductions on your behalf.”
But Miss Carlisle stood, her face dark with anger. “I know I am too old. No man would have someone like me.”
He hadn’t considered it in that way at all. “I was only trying to help you. It was never meant as an insult.”
“I kept your secrets all these years,” she said. “I let you believe you were a legitimate heir.”
“Until now,” he murmured.
“I had no choice!” she snapped. “I am fighting for every penny I have. If you would not pay me, there were others who would.” A sullen expression crossed her face.
What the Earl Needs Now (The Earls Next Door Book 2) Page 22
