“What are you doing? What are you doing? You’ll bleed to death!” She yanked to free her hands, but his grip was too strong. Why was he doing this? “Please, John. Give me my phone. Let me call for help.”
He released her hands. His breathing was labored and he winced, sitting up. “Despite what this looks like, I’m not going to die and I can’t go to the hospital.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This isn’t the way I wanted to tell you, but I guess I have no choice now.” He lifted his shirt and removed a few splinters that stuck to his skin. Where was the hole? There should have been blood gushing from the wound. Instead, the wound looked hours old. “See? I’m almost good as new.”
He’d healed already? How was that even possible? “I don’t understand. What’s happening?”
“There’s a reason I heal fast. There’s a reason I can’t go out into the sun and eat real food.”
“What does your allergy have to do with—”
“I’m a vampire.”
She felt for bumps on the back of her head. “Did I hit my head? I could have sworn you said—”
“You heard me correctly.”
She leaned over and whispered, as if anyone was actually overhearing their conversation, because he was talking crazy. Maybe he had hit his head. “But John, vampires don’t exist.”
“We do. We just hide our existence.”
All this time she’d thought that maybe he’d been the one. He was either crazy or…what? She was? For wanting to believe him? No way was any of this real. Tears formed in her eyes. “You’re just making fun of me because of the books I own. Aren’t you? If you wanted to end things, you didn’t have to resort to these lies.”
“End things? Sarah, I don’t want to end things. I love you.”
The cold air finally seeped into her bones and she shivered. She lifted her hands to cover her face, but blood covered one hand so she hugged herself instead. This was all a bad dream. It had to be.
“Can we go inside and talk?” he asked.
Talk? What could they possibly talk about? Would he try and bite her next?
* * * *
“Oh my God, you’re nuts! I have to get out of here.” Sarah grabbed her neck as she scrambled upright.
She couldn’t go, not yet. John didn’t want her to leave upset and confused and he stood when she did. With his blood reserves low, the sudden movement caused a cramp so severe, he doubled over. She flinched away from him, tearing a hole in his heart.
His fangs lowered and he talked, hoping she wouldn’t notice. “Please don’t leave. Let me explain.”
She stood there shivering, but she didn’t move toward the car.
“Can we talk inside, where’s it’s a little more private?”
“No. I don’t want to go inside.”
“How about the car?”
“No.” She sat on the ground, shoved her hands in the pockets, and huddled inside her coat.
John sat with her, giving her enough space. “Sarah, I’m not nuts. Please believe me.”
“Okay, say I believe you. Has this been a game all along? How many times have you bitten me?”
“I’ve never bitten you and you’d know it if I had. This wasn’t a game for me. I love you, Sarah. That’s the truth.” Not exactly the way he’d planned to tell her, but there it was. He prayed she believed him.
“You love me? Can vampires love? Aren’t they something like soulless creatures?”
“Your idea of what a vampire is and what a vampire actually is are two completely different things. I want to explain them, but you can’t tell anyone. It’s important no one finds out what you know.”
“What, like someone would believe me if I started saying I know some vampires? Hell, I’m not even sure I believe.” She sounded bitter, not that he could blame her.
“Then how do you explain this?” He peeled the wet shirt from his skin. The puckering would eventually fade, but for now it was puffy and red.
Her eyes widened. “Are those fangs in your mouth?”
“Yes, but I would never bite you. I swear.”
“Why haven’t I seen them before? I mean, we kissed…”
“They come out when I need…food.” No use telling her they popped out when she aroused him. Let her figure that out later. If there was a later.
“You mean blood.” She grabbed her neck again and what little color she had in her face fled. “Oh God.”
“Does that mean you believe me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
Close enough for him. “This wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you and I understand your confusion, but you can’t tell anyone. Not because humans won’t believe you. It’s because other vampires will and they’ll want to shut you up. Our number one priority is to keep the secret.”
“Didn’t you kind of blow that one when you started dating me?” Her gaze bored into him, accusing. “What were you thinking anyway?”
Hadn’t he been asking himself the same thing? The phrase love is blind had never made sense to him, but it did now. He’d been blind to reason. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. But if you recall, I did try to break it off.”
“Yes, and you succeeded, too. I left you, John. You came back to me.”
Shit. What was he doing? He couldn’t blame this on her. “I’m sorry, you’re right. What can I say—I was weak? After the first time in the garage, I was sure I’d never see you again, but then you walked into Wings and I was curious. I felt something with you I’d never experienced before.”
Her eyes rounded. What had he just said?
“Wait a minute,” she said. “You saw me before I came to the bar? When was that? Why don’t I remember?”
Oh, crap. Think before speaking, stupid. An encounter he’d never wanted her to discover and he’d blurted it out as if it were common knowledge. Great. Now what? Well, he wouldn’t lie to make himself look good. Not if he ever hoped to have a relationship. Ha! As if that were even possible now.
He scrubbed his face. “You don’t remember because you were out cold. That was the night you were attacked.”
Her jaw dropped. “You were the one who attacked me?”
Damn it. Nothing he said came out right. “I didn’t attack you. I stopped the man who had. I just happened to be in the garage when I saw him putting you into his trunk.”
“What?” She looked down at her lap and murmured, “So, you’re the one who put me in my car?”
“Yes. After I took care of your attacker, I came back to check on you, but you’d already left. Figured it was better that way. I just never dreamed…”
“That I’d ask you out?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I should have said no, but I didn’t want to. There’s something about you, Sarah. I need you.” She looked up at that and raised an eyebrow in accusation. Everything he said to her she read the wrong way. That, or his blood loss had destroyed his thought process. “Not that way. I don’t know how to explain it. I just know I feel whole whenever you’re near.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks and seared his heart. He hated hurting her, wanted to hold and comfort her instead. Yeah, like she’d let him do that. She hadn’t run off yet, so why tempt her?
“Ah, Sarah. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry I wasn’t upfront earlier. But I’m not sorry for loving you. You’re the best thing to happen in my life. Can you ever forgive me?”
She sat there, wiping her face and quietly shivering. He’d wait forever for an answer, but not at the expense of her comfort.
“You sure you don’t want to go inside?”
“I want to go home.” Her eyes glistened as she met his gaze. “Are you going to let me go?”
“Of course.” Did she think so little of him? Hadn’t he shown her what kind of person he was? Then again, she’d been hit with a major shock. Maybe once she processed the information, she’d come around. “Are you
sure you’re up to driving? I could take you.” It would be difficult, but he’d find a way.
“No!” The fear on her face hurt him more than the stake had. “I can drive myself.”
Her words cut deep. Forgiveness seemed far off, almost impossible. “Okay. Please promise me you’ll keep the secret. I don’t care what happens to me. I don’t want them coming after you.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.” She stood and wiped her backside.
John rose with care, using what was left of the handrail for support, keeping the cramps at bay. “I’m sorry about your coat. I’ll replace it for you.”
“No. I don’t want you to do anything.” Her voice was cold, uncaring.
He couldn’t let her leave without knowing how he felt. “I hope you can come to forgive me, but I’ll understand if you can’t. You mean the world to me, Sarah. Please don’t doubt that. If you have any questions, call me. Any time.”
One lone tear ran down her cheek. Would she cry if she didn’t care about him? It gave him hope. Maybe she only needed time. He could give it to her. He had plenty of it.
She walked to the driver’s side and opened the door. “Goodbye, John.”
She drove off with his heart.
Chapter 15
A full moon lit up the park as a warm breeze caressed her skin. John strolled toward her and she smiled. When he reached her, he cupped her face and slowly backed her into a tree. Her heart flip-flopped as it did every time they touched. Glimmering blue eyes gazed into her very soul. She wrapped her arms around his neck waiting for his kiss, wanting his lips next to hers. As he bent toward her, he flashed his fangs, turned her head, and bit her neck.
Screaming, Sarah bolted upright. Where the hell was she? Was she bleeding? She ran her hand across her neck. Dry. Sun filtered through the curtains. The familiar surroundings of her bedroom brought her back to reality.
“Just a dream.” She fell back on the bed. But the dream lingered and she trembled. Sleep had eluded her most of the night. So why did she have to dream of John when it finally claimed her?
Vampires. They didn’t really exist, did they? He was nuts. But how did that explain his super-fast healing? Or his fangs? Wait. Maybe the whole thing had been a dream.
She sat up and smiled. Yes. That was it. She had dreamt it. They went to the hockey game and then…what? Her coat, draped over her dresser, displayed bloody smears. No dream did that. Crap. She pulled her knees up as an ache spread in her chest. What was she going to do?
She needed a place to escape, a safe haven. A shower. She could always think more clearly while the water poured over her. She crawled out of bed and headed for the bathroom.
The water steamed all around her, but she stood and shivered under the stream. John had warmed her. He had made her world better, more enjoyable. Had he only used her? Her chest tightened. He had become a big part of her life in the short time she’d known him. How had she let it get out of hand? Because she’d thought he was different. Yeah, he was different all right.
The shower a bust, she dried herself off and broke down in tears. How would she ever get through the weekend? It wasn’t like she had her job to distract her.
She searched for projects in the apartment: cleaning, mending, anything to keep her mind off John. She brought up Lori’s number, because her friend could talk up a storm, but couldn’t push the send button. Lori would want to know what happened. What would Sarah tell her, My boyfriend’s a vampire and we broke up?
Sarah put the phone back in her purse. There wasn’t anyone she could call. She was alone. Again.
Searching through her cookbooks, she decided to fix an elaborate and time-consuming dinner, requiring a trip to the store. She opened the closet for her coat when she remembered it was soaking. Great. She wore several sweaters under a lighter jacket and felt like a Sumo wrestler. She could barely bend her arms, but damn it, she’d be warm.
The grocery store was neutral territory, since John had never accompanied her there. Walking up and down the aisles became therapeutic and she took her time perusing. Of course, maybe she shouldn’t have come on an empty stomach or a sad heart. Besides the ingredients she needed, she also filled the cart with comfort food—cookies and ice cream. She could eat herself to oblivion. Then she wouldn’t only feel like a Sumo wrestler, she’d look like one, too.
After the order was rung up, she searched for her wallet and found the note that John had left in the trunk. Pain slashed her heart open. Tears gushed out. She’d never been so embarrassed. Get a grip, Sarah. Wiping her eyes, she apologized to the cashier, paid for the order and scrambled out of there as fast as she could.
With the groceries stashed in the trunk, she settled behind the wheel. Was it safe for her to drive? How many more times would she break out sobbing? She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
Ah heck, if she kept that up, she’d end up falling asleep. She started the car, put the stick in reverse, and twisted in her seat. John’s jacket and jersey were on the back seat. She immediately stopped and shut off the engine, probably disappointing the person waiting for her spot.
She retrieved the items and stared at them. What should she do? Throw them away or mail them back? She buried her face in his jacket, taking in his scent. God, she missed him. It hadn’t even been a day and she missed him so much it hurt. She cried into the jacket until no tears remained.
If this was how her life would be from now on, she might as well hide inside a closet. No one would want to be around her for fear of another breakdown. Heck, she wouldn’t want to witness that, either. Finding the strength somewhere, she managed to drive home.
She placed John’s things inside the trunk. Her fingers lingered on the jacket sleeve before she closed the lid. Returning his items wasn’t an option at the moment, but she couldn’t throw them out.
Cooking helped keep her mind busy, mainly because she wasn’t very good at it. It took all her concentration to follow the directions. Her mother never taught her to cook and Steven had always made her nervous. A botched-up dinner led to a blow up and bruises. She was under no such scrutiny now. If it turned out bad, at least she wouldn’t get slapped for it.
But when it came time to eat, her appetite had disappeared. She couldn’t even bring herself to taste it. Instead, she packed it up and stored it in the refrigerator.
She headed for bed with a book and a heart that weighed more than it did when she woke. Would it ever lighten? Would she ever feel like living again? Maybe if she gave herself some time, she would. Saturday was a start. She had survived the day, even if it was miserable. She could only hope Sunday would turn out better.
* * * *
John stood outside the apartment complex and looked up at Sarah’s bedroom window. He’d tried staying away. Wings had kept him busy for most of the night, but as the last few customers left, his mind had returned to Sarah. Was she okay? Not knowing was nearly killing him and the last twenty-eight hours had been the worst of his life. He’d thought he could park by her building and that would be enough. He’d thought wrong.
A dim light illuminated her curtains. What the heck was she still doing up? It was three in the morning. Maybe she had fallen asleep with the lamp on. God, he hoped so. He was about to commit the worst offense ever and if she were awake… Oh hell.
He climbed the brick wall, using the small spaces for his fingers and toes, and stopped at her window. The curtains were closed, but she’d left a gap in the middle. She lay on the bed, a book on her stomach and her eyes closed in sleep. Thank God. He pushed up on the window and smiled when it opened.
Quietly he entered her room, being careful not to knock anything off her dresser. This was so wrong—damn, they put guys in jail for this crap—but he couldn’t stop. He needed to see her. Just one minute and he’d leave.
John knelt beside her bed and took in her scent. Oh, how he missed it. How he missed her. Her breathing was slow and steady and one foot stuck out fro
m under the blanket. He smiled at the socks. Puppies.
Would she ever forgive him? What would he do if she couldn’t? Check on her every night? Oh, God. He probably would. Just crouching beside her brought him peace.
He reached out, wanting to feel her warmth one more time, and then stopped with his hand hovering over her cheek. It certainly wouldn’t be points in his favor if she caught him in her room. Reluctantly, he pulled away.
For an hour he knelt by her side. If he stayed much longer, he risked being discovered. Maybe next time he would come earlier, but he didn’t want there to be a next time. That would mean she hadn’t forgiven him. He whispered in her ear, “I love you, Sarah. I hope you can forgive me.”
She stirred and mumbled. The book fell to the floor. He held his breath for a moment and then slowly rose. Leaving her was torturous, but if he wanted any chance of getting her back, he couldn’t blow it. He lifted one leg over the sill.
“John?” Sarah was sitting up and staring straight at him.
Shit. He jerked backward. With no support to stop him, he lost his balance and fell through the window. He flailed his arms and grabbed for the sill, but it was just out of reach. Great. So much for leaving unnoticed.
* * * *
A thud sounded from outside. Sarah blinked her eyes. Was she dreaming again or had she really seen John fall through the window? If a dream, what was it doing open? Crap! She rushed to the opening. Cold air slapped her awake and the security light illuminated a body lying face-up on the ground below. Her heart stopped. It was John. Oh God!
She grabbed her robe and ran outside, passing the Bumblebee. By the time she reached him, he was on his hands and knees. She stopped within a few feet, afraid to get any closer. How was he able to move?
“Are you okay?” A stiff breeze kicked up and she hugged the robe closed.
“I will be.” As he straightened, his bones made small cracking noises and his breathing seemed labored.
She winced at the sound. It had to hurt. If she had fallen through the window, she would have broken something. Could he heal that fast? “Are you in pain?”
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