“Not funny. Amazing.” Ian was still leaning against the wall. “You're probably one of the few women not intimidated by Keith.”
“Keith’s like the little brother I never wanted, and no I’m not intimidated by him or any of the giant apes that work with me. I’m intimidated by you, though.” She admitted.
“Me? Why?” He pushed himself off the wall and walked toward her, but she held up her hand to stop him.
“You’ve got the power to break my heart into pieces.” It was her biggest fear.
“You’ve got that power too.” Ian took her hands and pressed them against his chest.
“How are you so calm about everything that you’ve found out in the last few days?” She’d never been so out of control of her emotions in her life. “You just seem to be taking everything in stride, and you go on. I don’t understand how you can do that.” She could accept Ian’s daughters, but it was going to take some time. She loved him with all her heart, and she’d love any part that came from him.
“You think I’m not scared shitless?” Ian continued and rested his hands on her hips. “Sandy, I’m terrified. Of being a good dad to those little babies, of losing you. I don’t care if you can have babies or not, but I can see it’s devastating to you and I don’t know how to make that sadness go away.”
“Ian, the sadness is because I’m scared you can’t accept that I’m damaged.” It was the only way to explain how she felt about herself. Damaged was the only way to explain it.
“You’re not damaged, and with all the scientific breakthroughs these days nothing’s impossible, and if it is, there are other avenues to explore. Right now, I want you, and to me, you’re perfect.” She didn’t know when the tears started and she hated crying in front of anyone, but she just couldn’t hold them back. What he said was so beautiful, and it made her feel like the happiest woman in the world.
“There’s something else you need to know,” Sandy said. “Ruby has custody of Tessa’s daughter, Evie. I’ve asked them to come live in Hopedale with me because Scott’s still out there. It’s my fault that Evie lost her mother.” Ian stepped back, and his eyes went completely full.
“What? He’s not in jail?” Ian gasped.
“During all the commotion, he was shot in his hand by one of the cops. He slipped out of the hospital when they were taking care of him. He’s sent a lot of threatening emails to me over the years saying I was the reason he was on the run. It’s the reason Keith has Trunk and Crash doing security for Ruby and Evie.”
“Trunk and Crash?” The look of utter confusion on Ian’s face made her smile.
“They work for Keith, and before you ask, no that’s not their real names.” Sandy took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “He swore he’d take away the most important people in my life.” Ian cupped her cheeks.
“I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this but aren’t they safe where they are? Isn’t that putting them in more danger to bring them where you are?” She knew Ian was just asking, but for some reason, it struck a cord, and she pushed him away.
“Do you think I’d bring her here if I thought I couldn’t keep them safe?” Sandy stomped away from him.
“I didn’t mean anything by that.” Ian reached out to her, but she pulled back. “Are you doing this because of my girls?” With those words, all she could see was red.
“This has nothing to do with your girls. I’ve wanted Evie close to me, and now that Ruby has agreed to move here too, I can give her what she needs.” How dare he insinuate she was bringing Evie to live with her because she was jealous of his daughters? Did he even know her at all?
“Sandy, don’t get pissed at me. I was just asking….”
“You think this is all of a sudden? I’ve been struggling with this for years. You’ve got no idea how it feels to know that a child lost their mother because of you and you lost your own child because you were stupid. No, you have no idea. Of all people, I thought you’d understand, but I guess I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.” Sandy spun around and ran out of the house ignoring Ian’s demand for her to come back.
She didn’t need him. Fuck him. The only thing she cared about now was bringing Evie and Ruby to Newfoundland and being able to see the little girl every day. She still had her brother and sister. She was sure Brad and Kim would love Evie as much as she did. Ian O’Connor wasn’t going to be as supportive. Her heart felt like it was shattering in her chest.
She made it to the front door of her house, and when she got inside, she slammed the door and fell on her knees. She was devastated. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her body shook with sobs. She cried over the man she’d been in love with for years and the relationship that never had a chance.
Chapter 13
What the fuck just happened?
He stood on the deck of his house staring at Sandy’s front door that just slammed so hard he heard the glass in the door rattle. Why had she gotten so upset with him? She was the one who kept a huge secret and now was bringing a child into her house that was possibly in danger. All he did was ask if it was safe.
“What did you say?” Keith walked next to him, and Ian turned to face him.
“I have no fucking idea.” Ian shook his head. “All I asked was if she was sure it was safe to bring the kid here. She flipped at me and took off.”
“You, stupid asshole.” Keith threw his hands up in the air.
“What?” Now he was baffled.
“Maybe she wanted you to say you’d help her keep Evie safe.” Keith tipped his head and raised his eyebrow.
“Well, how the fuck was I supposed to know that. I’m a doctor, not a cop or bodyguard.” Ian pushed by Keith and stomped into the house.
“She just wants your support.” Keith followed him.
“Of course, I’ll support her.” Ian snapped.
“Well, maybe that’s what you should’ve said.” Keith sighed. “Look, she’s scared that dickhead is going to go after Evie. I don’t know why the hell he’s out to hurt Sandy because I was the one who finally got him arrested.”
“And nobody has any idea where this guy is?”
“I’ve got some friends in the RCMP, and they’ve been looking for him since he escaped, and he slips through their fingers every fucking time. The bastard is like a snake, but he’s also a fucking predator who’s raped at least six more women since he escaped and that’s only the ones we know about, and he’s not gonna stop until someone stops him.” Keith growled through gritted teeth. Ian was sure his brother wanted to be the one to stop the bastard.
“Why didn’t you ever tell us about Tessa?” Ian finally asked.
Keith walked into the living room and slowly lowered himself onto the couch, but his expression didn’t change. He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together.
“Because I was so obsessed with taking down the guy who raped her that it ended up getting her killed and almost got Sandy killed.”
“Did you love her?” Ian sat in the armchair directly across from Keith.
“I cared about her but thinking about it now I don’t think I loved her like a husband should love a wife.” Keith sighed. “She was pregnant and even though Evie isn’t mine. I love the kid.”
“You were trying to be her hero.” Ian didn’t mean it as an insult. It was what Keith did all his life. He always stood up for the underdog and protected people who couldn’t defend themselves. It didn’t matter how it affected him.
“I didn’t want people to look down on her because she was pregnant and alone.” Keith sat back on the couch and rested his head against the back. “Please don’t start with the hero complex shit again.”
“It’s not shit, you’ve been doing it all your life, and I’ve got a feeling you always will.” Ian stood up and stretched. “I need to head to bed. Those little girls are cute, but they like to get up really early. You can stay if you like and crash on the couch.”
“You’re just afraid Sandy is going to co
me back and kill you in your sleep.” Keith chuckled. “I think I will crash here, though.”
“I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep, but I’ve got to try.” Ian plowed his hands through his hair. “It’s so weird not to be working and feel more exhausted than if I worked an eighteen-hour shift.”
“When are you going back to work?” Keith asked.
“I’ve taken four months’ paternity leave, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be going back to the ER once it’s over. It won’t work with the girls.”
“Going to take up the old man’s offer?” Keith chuckled.
“I think it’ll be the best option.” His father had wanted him to go into practice with him ever since he completed his residency.
“Do what’s best for you. You know the family will give you all the help you need.” Keith was right, but Ian didn’t want to think about that now. He was too worried about Sandy and if they’d ever work things out.
“There’s extra blankets and pillows in the window seat.” Ian nodded toward the large bay window.
“Thanks, bro, and don’t worry. Just talk to Sandy in the morning. She’ll have time to calm down because you know she’s like a firecracker.” Keith said.
Ian knew Sandy was passionate, but the way she reacted to his question made his stomach feel like it was in knots and his chest hurt. He couldn’t lose her now not when they’d finally found their way to each other.
“Fuck it seems like one hit after another.” Ian flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He pulled his phone from his pocket and found nothing from Sandy, but he wasn’t surprised. He had to let her know he’d be there for her whatever she decided. He started and deleted the text a half a dozen times before he finally sent one.
The last thing I wanted to do was upset you. I just wanted to make sure that bringing the little girl here wouldn’t put both of you in more danger. You know I love you, and I can’t take anything happening to you, and I know if something happened to Evie it would be devastating because I’ve got a feeling she’s taken the place of the baby you lost. I’m sorry, please don’t shut me out. I love you.
He stared at the screen for a few minutes waiting to see if she read the message, but it seemed that she wasn’t even going to check it. He tossed his cell next to him on the bed and rolled onto his side. His life had taken such a one-eighty in the last couple of days. He finally admitted his feeling to Sandy, then found out he had two little girls that he hadn’t known about and then he was told Sandy had a roller coaster of her own she was riding. He closed his eyes and for the first time in a long time he prayed.
Ian sat upright on the bed with a start. At first, he didn’t know what the buzzing sound was, and then he glanced at his phone. He’d forgotten to turn off his alarm for work and getting woke at five in the morning when it was after three when he finally fell asleep made him want to smash his cell against the wall. He sat on the side of the bed and cursed. Hopefully Lily and Grace were still sleeping so he could at least take a shower to feel somewhat human.
After confirming the girls were still sleeping, he quickly showered and trimmed his beard. Once he threw on a pair of track pants and shirt, he headed to the kitchen.
Lily’s soft voice had him stopping and peeking into the living room. She was talking to Keith and Ian stifled a laugh because his brother looked downright uncomfortable.
“Did you have a sleepover with daddy?” She asked Keith. He looked like he hadn’t slept much either.
“I guess you could say that, kiddo.” Keith yawned and stretched his arms over his head.
“My name’s not kiddo. It’s Lily. Did you forget?” Lily stood with her little hands on her hips staring down Keith.
“No, I didn’t forget. Kiddo is just a nickname.” Keith looked up and met Ian’s amused expression, but Keith wasn’t amused.
“But I’m not Uncle Nick,” Lily said, and Ian almost choked on his laughter.
“I didn’t mean Nick as in Uncle Nick, I just meant… never mind.” Keith was smart because he would be fighting a losing battle with Lily.
“Are you gonna make breakfast?” She asked.
“I think your dad is gonna do that.” Keith pulled on his shirt.
“You got a lot of tattoos, and you’re really bumpy.” Lily pointed to the tattoos on Keith’s arms, and his brother glared at him.
“Hey, kiddo look, your dad is up.” Keith nodded toward Ian.
“I’m Lily, not kiddo.” She said as if he’d insulted her.
“You know you really talk a lot.” Keith sighed.
“I like to talk.” Lily sat next to Keith, and his brother looked like he was about to run.
“Lily, why don’t you go get dressed while I make breakfast.” Ian stepped into the living room and to give his brother a reprieve from the curious little girl.
She skipped out of the room and disappeared into her bedroom. Ian heard her talking to Grace and knew it wouldn’t be long before the baby made it known she wanted to be changed and fed.
“That kid is intense.” Keith stood up and followed Ian to the kitchen.
“Well, she must take after you.” Ian chuckled.
“Fuck you, asshole.” Keith shoved him lightly.
“You better watch what you say, or she’ll tell mom.” Ian began to prepare breakfast for the two little girls.
“There are so many kids around now, you can’t say shit.” Keith lifted the cup to his lips and stopped. Ian turned around to see Lily standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
“Daddy, your brothers sure say a lot of bad words. Nanny Kathleen must have used a lot of pepper when they were little.” Lily was shaking her head as she turned to leave the kitchen again.
“She’s like a fu…. freaking ninja,” Keith mumbled, and Ian burst into laughter.
Breakfast was enjoyable with Lily always telling Keith, her name wasn’t kiddo. Keith seemed a little uncomfortable with how Grace was staring at him. It wasn’t like his brother wasn’t used to kids because he played with his nephews all the time. Maybe it was because they were little girls. When Ian thought about it, Keith always looked uncomfortable around John’s little girl too.
Ian was still trying to get his head around Keith’s secret marriage. It didn’t make sense why he hadn’t told anyone, but as the brothers did, Ian would keep it to himself until Keith was ready to tell everyone.
Ian did his best to keep his mind off of Sandy, but it wasn’t easy. She hadn’t returned his text, and her car wasn’t in her driveway. He kept screwing things up with her, and he didn’t know if he could fix it this time. Stephanie and Marina had come by to take the girls for a sleepover, and although they’d only been with him for a few days, he missed them. He also realized that he hadn’t gone for a run since they arrived. He did his best thinking when he was running, so maybe taking a long run could help him figure out how to make things right with Sandy.
He found himself on the beach an hour later tossing rocks into the waves. The beach always gave him a sense of peace, and he went there when he needed to think. He hadn’t come up with any epiphany, but it made him realize that April winds were hard on the lungs. Spring wasn’t a season that often appeared in Newfoundland, and from the chill in the wind, there was a good chance that it would probably snow before the week was out. When he turned to head up from the beach, he was sure he saw someone standing at the edge of the wharf watching him but by the time he made it to the road the only thing that was there was a smoldering cigarette butt.
He made his way across Beach Street and walked onto Glory Road. If he didn’t drop in to see his mother, she'd disown him. Besides, he was starting to feel the chill of the wind in his bones. He jogged up the driveway of his childhood home as he’d done so many times in his life.
“Mom, you home?” Ian called as he opened the front door. Just because the door wasn’t locked didn’t mean someone was home. His parents still refused to believe that Hopedale was the type of place you locked your doors
.
“Yar mudder jus’ went ta da shop.” Nanny Betty’s voice floated from the kitchen along with the smell of fresh homemade bread.
“How’s the best grandmother in the world?” Ian asked as he entered the kitchen and gave his grandmother a kiss on the cheek.
“Hmm…. Now would me bein’ da best grandmudder have anyting ta do wit da bread I jus’ pulled outta da oven?” Nanny Betty raised her eyebrow as she brushed butter over the top of the hot loaves in front of her.
“Nan, you know you’re the best in the world.” Ian smiled as he poured a cup of coffee.
“Inky, I wasn’t born yesterday.” Nanny Betty shook her head. “but since yer here ya can take a loaf home wit ya.” She pointed to the bread that was already in bags on the counter.
“Thanks, Nan.” Ian sat at the counter and watched her finished buttering the last loaf.
“So wat brings ya here t'day?” Nanny Betty sat next to him.
“Steph and Marina took the girls for a sleepover, and I went for a run. I wanted to drop in before I head home.” Ian smiled when she cut a slice off of one of the hot loaves of bread and put it in front of him with a bottle of molasses.
“And yer tryin’ ta figure out how ta get yerself outta da dog house wit Sandy.” Nanny Betty took a sip of her tea as she met his eyes. Her eyes were a similar blue to his own, but she always insisted their blue eyes came from Grandda Jack.
“How did you know?” Ian sighed.
“Stephanie was here when Sandy called her.” She explained.
“You know everything?” Ian didn’t need to ask.
“I know wat I needs ta know.” She said.
“What’s your advice?” Ian asked because of all the people in his family Nanny Betty was always the one that knew how to fix things.
“Inky, when a woman's told havin’ babies is not in da future, it’s devastatin’. After Cora had Pammy, she almost died, and as ya know she wasn’t able ta have any more youngsters. It took her a long while ta even function. It’s not somethin’ a woman gets over. They jus’ learn ta live wit it. I think dis little girl gives Sandy wat she can’t have and considerin’ wat ya did ta her, I’d suggest ya be understandin’ and support her.” It was a hard pill to swallow that his grandmother was disappointed in his transgression, but she was right that he just needed to help Sandy and let her protect Evie.
Dangerous Secrets (O'Connor Brothers Book 3) Page 12
