by Wendy Owens
“Holden,” I say again. He pops up, taking hold of my shoulders and repeats my name.
“Belle? Belle? Can you hear me?” He’s gentle as he shakes me, and I feel a drop of liquid from his hovering cheek land on my chin. He was crying, I realize. I peer into his eyes and smile.
“Am I okay?”
“You gave us quite a scare.” His eyes linger on me for a moment before he rushes to the door and shouts, "Dr. Marshall, she’s awake! Kenzie, bring the baby.”
My mind initially begins to process that Dr. Marshall had been on standby for me, but suddenly I realize Holden also called for Kenzie and the baby. Kenzie’s here? Am I about to see my daughter?
“The baby?” The first words to escape my lips cause Holden to look back at me. He smiles, and it’s not the type of smile that prepares you for bad news. No, I can tell it’s a very different kind of smile. It’s the kind that you see when someone is happy for you.
“She’s perfect,” Holden whispers, not taking his eyes off me, his fingertips trailing the length of my arm. “I know she’s been wanting to see her momma, though.”
“There she is!” I hear Dr. Marshall exclaim as he enters through the open doorway, a stethoscope hung around his neck. He walks immediately to the bedside, opposite Holden, and scoops my hand up into his, feeling for my pulse and counting. I watch the doorway, eager to see the first glimpse of my child.
“How are you feeling?” the doctor asks. I ponder the question for a moment before responding.
“A little groggy.”
“Well, that’s to be expected after being asleep for so long. It will take your body a little while to—”
“How long was I out?” I demand, not waiting for Dr. Marshall to finish his thought.
“Two days, and I should really kick your ass for that, too.” Kenzie’s voice fills my ears, and my eyes lock onto her face as she enters the room.
“Kenzie,” I moan, my gaze drifting down to the tight bundle she holds in her arms.
“Why don’t we give them a minute,” Holden suggests to Dr. Marshall, who doesn’t seem to be listening. Holden makes his way to the door and around Kenzie, then coughs loudly to gain the good doctor’s attention.
“Huh,” Dr. Marshall grunts, looking over his shoulder. “Oh, yeah.” He then looks back to me pointedly. “I’m going to want to do a full exam shortly, understand?”
I nod and shift to sit upright on the bed. As soon as Dr. Marshall makes his way to the door and exits with Holden, Kenzie swiftly swoops in and makes her way into the spot where he had been standing. Instinctively, I reach out for the baby. Kenzie doesn’t hesitate, placing the swaddled newborn in my arms.
Pulling her into my chest, I take in a deep breath, preparing myself for the first glimpse of my daughter. I’m not sure what I’m expecting—perhaps to see Jack staring up at me, but this is nothing like that. She has my eyes, Jack’s chin, a thick tuft of black hair atop her small and perfectly round head.
A shiver runs through my body, the jolt causing her to open her eyes ever so briefly. I gasp, and a new and raw emotion I’m unfamiliar with consumes me. I feel my eyes fill, and a tear escapes, rushing down my cheek.
“She’s so beautiful,” I cry, not willing to look away from her face.
“She is, but I didn’t know what to call her. You never decided on a name,” Kenzie reminds me.
Without giving it any thought, a name slips from my lips. “Emily.”
“Emily?” Kenzie questions before adding, “No, I like it. Emily. Hi there, Emily.”
I place a finger against her tiny hand and rub her soft skin between my fingertips. Though she seems lost in a deep sleep, her fist opens and wraps itself securely around my finger. A squeak of delight escapes from my throat.
“You know you really scared the shit out of me,” Kenzie snarls.
“I don’t even understand what happened,” I begin.
“Apparently you decided it was a good idea to go and get pneumonia while pregnant and alone in a foreign country. Oh, and an hour away from the nearest hospital, you decide, during a blizzard, to then go into labor,” she explains, leaning forward in her chair, her voice heavy with sarcasm.
“I wasn’t alone,” I answer.
“No,” she says then hesitates, “I suppose you weren’t. So what is going on with you and this Holden guy exactly?”
“I don’t know.”
“He seems to care a lot for you.”
“Yeah, he does,” I say, thinking of the private prayer I had just witnessed.
“When he called me, he was scared out of his mind. That much was pretty obvious.”
“I don’t remember any of it.”
Kenzie jumps in with a retelling of the events. “Well, when he called, he said you were sick, and that the weather was too bad to get you to the hospital in London. But he had a doctor here with him who was going to try and slow the labor until there was a break in the storm.”
“Are you serious? I don’t remember anything.” I pull Emily closer to my chest. Her exciting entrance into the world now seems all the more amazing.
“Yeah, I raced straight to the airport and got on the next flight out of Chicago. Two connections and twelve hours later I was here. Holden kept me updated at each layover, but somewhere over the Pacific little Emily there made her grand entrance.”
“I wish I could remember,” I moan, peering at Emily’s face. My heart melts as I watch her purse her lips.
“Sweetie, I doubt you’d want to. Dr. Marshall didn’t know if you were going to wake up.”
“What?”
“Yeah, when my flight got in they still had the roadways shut down. I called, and Holden was flipping out. Bea had to get on the phone and explain what was going on. After the doctor took Emily through C-section, your fever kept climbing.” This entire story gives me goose bumps, and it’s hard to believe it happened to me.
“So I just got better?” I inquire.
“Not exactly. Doctor Marshall told Holden if you were going to have any chance, they had to break your fever. Holden went out and started bringing in buckets of snow, and they packed it all around you.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, Bea was telling me Holden wouldn’t leave your side for a second. She took care of Emily while they tried everything they could think of to keep you from going into shock. Then a couple hours before I found a cab, by paying triple his rate, by the way, your fever finally broke. And then it was just a waiting game.”
“I didn’t know how much he cared about me,” I say softly.
“Really? Well, it’s obvious he loves you. How do you feel about him?” Kenzie asks, staring into my eyes.
There it is, the direct question staring me in the face. After Jack’s warning, I wanted to swear off love as something that didn’t fit into my life as a single mother, but now, I am feeling something completely different. I can’t be wrong about him; he has to be one of the good guys. “I love him, too.”
“Does he know that?” Kenzie quickly follows up.
“He does now.” When Holden’s voice reaches my ears I feel my heart seize up, and I wonder if it will ever start beating again. It does, and I want to look at him, but I can’t. I can’t look up and see his expression. There’s no more denying my feelings for him … he has heard me say them.
Kenzie stands. “Awkward. Well, I think I’ll go out and see if Dr. Marshall needs any help.”
I watch in silence as she exits the room, staring at her back so I don’t have to look at Holden’s face. And then she’s gone, so I look back at Emily.
“I named her,” I offer up in conversation, trying to alleviate the silence.
“Oh yeah?” Holden continues, approaching me and taking a seat.
“Emily,” I answer, nodding. I can hear his breath catch in his throat, which causes me to involuntarily look up at his face. His brow is narrow; I’m at a loss as I try to decipher the look. “I’m sorry. I hope that’s okay.”
&nb
sp; “That was my mom’s middle name,” he replies in a low tone.
“I know, Bea told me.”
“She did?” His eyes shift to the baby. “You didn’t have to do that, Belle.”
“It wasn’t just for you. I think it’s a beautiful name.”
“Thank you. That would make my mother happy.” Holden nods and grasps my arm.
Both Holden and I stare at Emily for a few moments, then I hear him swallow and take a hitched breath. “Are we going to talk about what I heard?”
“Perhaps we should discuss your manners and your habit of eavesdropping instead,” I suggest with a huge grin.
“Fair enough,” he concedes with a snicker. “But my poor manners don’t change what I heard.”
“What you think you heard.” I say with a bow of my head.
“So I didn’t hear you say that you love me?”
“I don’t know, did you?” I reply, my heart starting to race.
“Belle.” His tone is gentle, yet direct.
“Holden,” I quip right back, adding a flare of snark, deciding to turn the spotlight on him. “How do you feel about me?”
His reply isn’t what I expect. There is no hesitation, no doubt. “I love you. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my life. A life without you doesn’t seem worth having.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I’m not joking.”
And I can see it in his eyes … he isn’t.
“So it’s your turn,” he continues. “How do you feel about me?”
I glance down at Emily, fidgeting. “That’s such a hard question to answer.”
“No, it’s not. I don’t want to waste any more time not being completely honest with how we feel. I love you, Annabelle Hart, and I think you love me, too.”
“I—” Why can’t I bring myself to say it? I want to say it, but I’m a mom now, and I need to think about Emily. I see a flash of hurt in Holden’s eyes as he jumps to his feet.
“Say it, Belle. Tell me how you feel about me … to my face,” he demands again.
“Holden, I—” Again, the words lock in my throat. What’s wrong with me?
“Maybe I was wrong,” his voice is shaking. He turns to exit the room, walking away from my bedside. Though I’m holding Emily close to me, coldness overcomes me.
“Holden!” I shout, terrified he might be walking out for good. “Wait.” Emily begins to stir in my arms.
“What is it?” He is more guarded now; I can sense it in his words.
“It’s complicated now. I have Emily, I’m a single mom, and I have to think about her.”
“You’re making it complicated, Belle. I love you, and all I need to know is if you love me.”
He’s staring at me. I don’t know what to do. If we’re a couple and things go wrong, it could cause Emily pain one day. If I tell him I don’t want to be with him, then I know I’ll be hurting all of us.
Holden shakes his head and pushes his body out of the doorway. My head is spinning, the world is falling out from beneath me. “I love you!” My voice carries through the upper floor of the inn. Emily begins to cry from how loud I shout. “Holden, please, come back, I—”
“No need to beg,” Holden chimes, poking his head around the corner. “I knew you loved me. I just had to get you to say it.”
I huff, shifting in the bed, trying to sooth Emily’s screams. “Now she’s crying.”
“She’s hungry. Bea has been feeding her formula Dr. Marshall brought, but there’s nothing like the real thing,” Holden says, moving to the foot of my bed.
“Maybe we should ask Dr. Marshall,” I say, the entire idea of the unknown a little frightening. Emily hushes for the moment as I pat her bottom.
“I’ll get him,” Holden offers. “But before I go, I want you to know something.”
I peer up at Holden, his golden hair falling over one eye, and I wish I was kissing him right now. “Okay.”
“You and Emily are my world now. For the two of you, I’d do anything.”
Eight Months Later ...
Her binkie! I remember, darting back upstairs and checking under the bed for the missing item that would result in a disastrous trip.
“Where are you going, Belle?” Holden shouts from the bottom of the stairs. “We’re going to miss the flight if we don’t hurry.”
It’s not under the bed. That’s when I remember she had been chewing on it during bath time just that morning. I dart down the hall and see it resting at the bottom of the tub.
“Found it,” I exclaim, though he has no idea what I was looking for. I race down the stairs, and pause at the base to kiss Emily, who is nestled in Holden’s arms. She giggles, and both Holden and I smile. It’s amazing how much joy an eight month old can bring into one’s life.
“Why aren’t you three gone yet?” Bea asks, emerging from the kitchen.
“That’s what I was saying,” Holden growls.
“Well, come on, the taxi’s loaded and waiting. Off with the three of you. Call me when you get in,” Bea instructs.
I take Emily from Holden’s arms, and he scoops up the last couple of bags I have piled by the door. Kissing Bea on the cheek, we rush out and climb into the cab. It’s going to be tight, but as long as we don’t get stuck in traffic we should make our flight in time.
I let out a huge breath as we pull out from the long gravel drive, relief washing over me as I know we’re on our way. Soon enough we will be on a plane, flying back to the States.
“Are you nervous?” Holden asks.
“About which part?” I inquire with a grin.
“About the meeting with the publishing house, of course.” He laughs.
“Oh, that …” I pause to confirm my feelings. “No, I’m not. I think I’m more nervous about seeing my mom and dad again.”
“You all have been getting along smashingly since she read the book.”
“No, I know. But this will be the first time she’s seeing Emily, and not to mention, meeting you.”
“Oh, no worries there. I’m British, and all American women love British men.”
“Is that a fact?” I ask, laughing.
“Yes, it is,” he confirms.
“We’ll see,” I challenge. “I think I’m still in shock Kenzie is getting married.”
“Just shows, true love always finds a way … look at us.”
“What about us?” I tease.
“Oh, come on, you were so messed up in the head, but I stuck it out, and now we’re here. Actually making a go of it.”
“All messed up in the head, was I?” I act shocked, but it is much too hard to get mad at those perfect lips, the dip in his chin, and that hair that hangs in tangles, begging for you to run your fingers through it.
“You know what I mean.”
“Best to quit while you’re ahead.”
“Right,” Holden agrees.
When I think about the complete mess Kenzie’s love life has been since Emily was born eight months ago, it’s hard to imagine she’s getting married. She spent a week with us in England after the baby was born, and despite my protests, she decided she was going to end her relationship with Ben when she returned home.
She explained that if I could have had the baby of an ex-fiancé who cheated on me and still find love, she wasn’t going to wait around any longer. She did exactly as she said, and in those next eight months, while I was learning to be a mom and how to trust again, Kenzie was taking control of her love life. She was going to get her happily ever after even if it meant a trail of broken hearts was left in her path.
“I love you,” Holden leans in and whispers in my ear. Emily grabs his trimmed beard and tugs on it, giggling again. I turn toward him and press my lips against his for a second.
“I love you, too,” I breathe the words.
“Are you happy?” he asks, peering into my eyes. I nod and smile at him. And it’s true, I am happy. Emily is more than I could have ever hoped for. Holden has loved me exact
ly as he promised to, and it looks like my book is going to get published.
Holden’s dad was right about looking into a person’s eyes for the truth. And the truth in Holden’s eyes is clear— he would do anything for us because he loves us.
THE END
It’s not possible to give enough thanks to my readers. You all have shared my books with other readers, purchased my books, and left reviews. I couldn’t do any of this without you; I’m still in awe every day. I also want to thank Regina Wamba, of Mae I Design for capturing Annabelle and Holden perfectly.
Thanks goes out to my editor, Madison Seidler, fantastic job as usual. Thanks as well to JS Nelson Editing for polishing up the final product.
A shout out to Stacey Blake for formatting my book and making it look pretty and clean. I can’t forget my community of Indie Authors who supports me daily. There are far too many of you to list, but you all know who you are and how important you are to me.
To my husband, you’re my muse, my rock, and my reason for everything I do. To my three brilliant children, mommy is so proud of you. I love you to the moon and back.
Wendy Owens was raised in the small college town of Oxford, Ohio. After attending Miami University, Wendy went on to a career in the visual arts. After several years of creating and selling her own artwork, she gave her first love, writing, a try.
Wendy now happily spends her days writing—her loving dachshund, Piper, curled up at her feet. When she’s not writing, she can be found spending time with her tech geek husband and their three amazing kids, exploring the city she loves to call home: Cincinnati, OH.
YA Paranormal
The Guardians Series
Sacred Bloodlines
Cursed
The Prophecy
The Lost Years
The Guardians Crown
Contemporary Romance
Stubborn Love Series
Stubborn Love
Only In Dreams
The Wandering Hearts Series
Do Anything
It Matters To Me COMING FALL 2014
Jack’s Redemption COMING SPRING 2015
Dystopian Science Fiction
Trilogy coming in 2014 and 2015 - more info to follow at the links below
