by Kip Nelson
When everything had gone dark she thought about them and wondered if they still were out there. She hated to think of her father out in the world. He was a monster in every sense of the word and she dreaded to think of him let loose, with her mother in tow, of course. There was no way she ever would have left his father. Before Diana escaped them, she thought about telling her mother and trying to get her to go with her, but her mother had been under her father's influence for too long. She had been fully broken, and Diana knew if she had tried to tell her mother, the plan quickly would have found its way to her father's ear. Diana had learned that lesson when she was very young, after she had confided a secret to her mother. She knew even those you trusted most could betray you. She remembered the pained look in her mother's eyes, as clear as crystal, knowing she was unable to help her daughter. In that moment, Diana had been shown the stark truth of the world, she was on her own.
Many other people in the same situation would have responded by breaking, but Diana gritted her teeth and turned her heart into stone. She made sure she never would be placed in such a vulnerable position again. In Annabelle, Diana saw much of herself. While Diana's trauma was borne from her parents having an overbearing presence in her life, Annabelle's was driven by her parents being absent. Diana still had not pressed Annabelle for any more details about her parents, but she suspected there was some kind tragedy involved. She wanted to make sure Annabelle had the childhood of which Diana had been deprived, even though it was going to be difficult given the state of the world.
Diana had managed to escape her past, but because of it she was able to survive in this world. She was used to taking her pain and making it into something formidable, and she wanted to teach Annabelle that as well. She may even have to teach it to Adam, since he had a lot of burning pain. In some ways they were quite similar, but in most ways, they were entirely different. Adam reminded her of many people she had encountered in her old life, people who saw life from a certain, singular perspective and could not see it from any other angle. If she told him the truth about her life, he probably would have run a mile, and there always would be that sense of a secret shame. Peter was a strange one, too. Diana hadn't spent much time getting to know the man, but Annabelle seemed to be quite taken with him. Diana had learned to trust Annabelle more than she had trusted anyone else in her entire life.
To Diana, Annabelle was the future. The eleven-year-old girl represented all that was good in the world and all that needed to be nurtured and remembered. It was Diana's mission to see that she was, not only for Annabelle's sake, but also for the girl that Diana used to be. In a way that would be the salvation Diana had been searching for all of her life.
In time the group was rested and able to move on again. The journey was taking them about four hours, and there still was plenty of daylight ahead. The day was a rare one, where the mists had cleared, and the storms were giving the world a respite. It still was cold, and their breath still swirled in the air as they walked, but they were dry. It was important to enjoy the small victories, for they were few and far between. Adam tried apologizing to Diana, but she brushed him off brusquely and made it clear she didn't want to talk. Adam fell back beside the other two.
“Is she always like that?” he asked.
Annabelle shrugged. “Sometimes she has bad moods. But she's still kind.”
“Do you know why she's in a bad mood?”
Annabelle shook her head.
“You got any advice, Peter?” Adam asked, not having anywhere else to turn.
Peter looked thoughtful for a moment. “You could always ask her,” he said. Adam rolled his eyes.
“That's no help, she'd bite my head off,” he said, and looked at the woman striding ahead of him, so filled with mystery.
He wasn't a fool and didn't expect romance to happen. He just wanted to get to know her, so he actually could call her a friend. It felt as though the fault lay with him since he never had been good with people. He could count the number of friends he had on one hand. He'd always wanted to the debonair hero, but instead was always the awkward one in the background, watching life pass him by. He wanted to prove to Diana that he was capable and that he could be trusted with major decisions. He was sure that once they returned from the hospital and were welcomed in the community she would see him the way he wanted to be seen.
But they still had to get to the hospital. They walked through the streets carefully, listening for any sudden movements. Adam hoped with all his heart that Diana hadn't been right, and Lisa had sent them out here because it was dangerous. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the huge building emerge in the distance. He praised Annabelle for her skill at reading the map. She grinned widely. They sidled up to a nearby building, making sure to be extra careful. Given that the hospital was such a big building and had plenty of beds and other things to offer those in need, it was almost certain there would be other people inside. It was easy to assume a relief center would have been set up there. It struck Adam that there may not even have been any medication left, but he didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to return to Lisa empty-handed. His entire future hinged on this plan.
After they made sure there were no signs of anyone else around, they approached the building from the side, just to make sure they wouldn't run into any trouble. If there were hostile people in there, they certainly would be guarding the front. Adam considered telling Peter and Annabelle to wait for them, but he knew Annabelle wouldn't have liked that, and he didn't like the idea of splitting up anyway. They slowly opened the door to the hospital and walked into a dark and eerie room, which was silent.
“Well,” Adam began, starting to relax, but then they heard a noise, and the hair on the back of his neck started to bristle.
Chapter Thirteen
The rattling, shuffling noise could have been anything. Adam's vivid imagination always went to the worst possibility. He pictured it to be some lumbering, monstrous person who had been stuck in the hospital, ridden with disease, driven only by a need to feed upon those that wandered into his lair. He quickly grabbed the others and they raced to a nearby room. They rushed across the corridor, their footsteps leaving light echoing sounds as the soles of their feet slapped against the floor. They sank into the shadows, breathing heavily. They crouched down near the open door. Adam craned his neck and listened to see if he could hear anything other than his own pounding heart. Vacant beds lay behind them and the blinds were drawn shut, plunging them into darkness, making it difficult to see.
Never had he seen a hospital so empty. He'd always hated hospitals. Even now, when it was empty, he realized he still didn't like being in one. It was where people went to die, and Adam always had feared being unhealthy. Fortunately, he never had had to be in a hospital for a long stay, but this fed his fear because that meant the hospital was the unknown. Sweat beaded on his temples, borne more from fear than physical exertion.
The hospital was dark, as the only light came from the windows, which were sparse in this big building. The hallways usually would throb with the pulse of electric lights, but they sat there on the ceiling, completely ineffective. The winding corridors twisted around and had held all manner of things. Adam suddenly felt fear grip his heart as he wondered what kind of people would live in a hospital. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, as he did not want to collapse under the pressure. He had to prove to himself and the others that he could cope with missions like these. He had to make it back to Lisa with her list completed so they would be welcomed into the community and he actually could start feeling safe and secure again, and begin his plan for revenge.
“I spent a lot of time in a place like this once...” Peter said sadly. Diana and Adam instantly hissed at him to keep quiet and he looked saddened. Adam felt guilty, but he didn't want to risk someone...or something discovering them.
They remained silent for a few moments. He looked across at Diana, who jerked her head in the direction of the door. Adam shook h
is head. Diana glared at him and jerked it even more vehemently. Adam rolled his eyes and sighed, crawling the little way to the door, laying on his side, and peeking around the corner. He had to strain his eyes to peer into the darkness and in the distance, he could hear more noises. He licked his lips. His throat ran dry with fear. A slow, methodical clap became louder and louder, as if something was on a slow and inexorable march toward him. Adam's hand slipped around to his back and pulled out the knife, ready to use it against whatever monstrosity came forward and revealed itself to him.
The more he listened the clearer the noises became. Then he realized there were more than one of whatever it was...or perhaps it was just that it was a huge behemoth. He dared not think of what could have grown and mutated in the hospital over all this time. At the end of the corridor two murky figures came into view. Not only was there the sound of walking, but also the shrill sound of metal tapping against the floor as well. This left Adam in a state of confusion. He drew himself back into the room so only the top of his head was visible, hoping against all hope that whatever this was would not see him.
The figures came forward, methodically, mechanically, then he heard cackling laughter and voices.
They drew close enough to no longer be shrouded by the darkness. They were human. They were old and frail. One of them used a walker, while the other still could walk under her own limited power. Adam breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at himself for being so foolish. He slid back into the room and shook his head, indicating there was nothing to worry about. He waited for the two old people to pass and then stood up, stretching out.
“Don't worry about anything,” he said quietly, “it was just two old people. Guess they found their home here. We're going to have to be careful. I doubt they like the idea of people coming and going wherever they please.”
“I'm not surprised,” Diana said. “It's a good place to stay, and there must have been abundant supplies of food. Let's hope they're friendly if we do run into anyone.”
“Frankly, I'm surprised there aren't more people crammed in here,” he said.
“Did you not hear about what happened here?” Diana said, looking at him incredulously.
“I was out of the city for a while.”
“This place was one of those that offered refuge for people who needed it, but of course there were too many people. A lot of people were afraid there was going to be some kind of biological attack and they wanted to get to safety. Of course, there weren't enough police to keep everyone safe.”
The way Diana said it sounded a lot like what had happened at city hall. Adam had hoped the carnage of that night never would be repeated anywhere else. Yet, it seemed as though it had happened at various locations throughout the city, and this filled him with sadness.
“People got crushed. I'm not surprised that people avoid this place. Go and look out the window.”
Adam moved to the other side of the room and drew the blinds. They opened slowly. He separated them with his fingers, widening the gap through which he looked, and then his heart filled with sadness. Outside were a pile of dead bodies, too many to count. Flies buzzed around them, and they were piled up to the entrance of the hospital, meaning anyone who wanted to go through the front would have to trudge through a river of death.
He felt sick inside. He wanted to be sad and weep for all of them, but he was all out of tears. He had seen so much death already that it was just more bodies to add to the horrific sights he already had seen. He wanted to feel a deep sorrow in his heart, but what was the point? These people had been dead for a long time, and whoever mourned them was probably dead, too. This hospital had been a place where people had gone to try getting well, a place of healing. Yet, now it was surrounded by death, and the entire nature of the building had changed.
He tried looking down at each of their faces, their expressions of panic and fear frozen by the cold. Only the cold prevented all their flesh from slipping off their bones. For some it had been too late, and only the bones remained. It was entirely horrific, but Adam couldn't bring himself to look away. He wanted to feel something visceral again. This was the kind of sight that should have shaken him to his core, but it didn't. The thing that made him saddest was he was getting used to a sight such as this.
The last thing he wanted was to come to a point where something like this seemed normal.
He thought back to the people he knew, and considered again that it was a blessing in disguise he hadn't really been close to anyone. How did all these people cope, having lost their loved ones, their families? His heart went out to Annabelle, who had lost her parents. Diana seemed so cold he couldn't imagine her having any loved ones. Peter had been like Adam, alone. But so many other people had connections all over the globe, and those connections had been severed swiftly and mercilessly. How did they all cope with it? Having to continue life, knowing that you had lost someone who meant so much to you. The only person Adam really had lost so far was Clark. Even then, he had hadn't been that close with the man. It was more the circumstances of his death that had upset Adam.
Dead. Most everyone in the world was dead already. They all were going to die at some point, and it was as though the universe was punishing them somehow. Maybe this was all like the Great Flood, a way to cleanse the Earth of pesky humans. They were in a hospital after all. Perhaps that was poetic. Perhaps humans were the disease on Earth and they needed to be cured, and this was the only way to go about it. Maybe it was just a random act of chaotic chance as well, one that had plunged humanity into the Dark Ages again and culled their civilization to the point where it was almost prehistoric. Death would come for him soon, and he could almost feel it creeping up his spine. So many had died. Those he was with on the first night at city hall would have ended up like these people. The men who were fighting, the scared families, there was no discretion at all. Nobody was exempt from the cruelty of existence.
“It doesn't matter at all, does it?” he said softly, still gazing out of the window.
“What do you mean?” Diana said.
“Anything we do. It doesn't really matter. It never did. We're all just going to end up like those people out there. It's only a matter of time. We're kidding ourselves if we think we can make a real difference. There's only one truth in the world, and that's that we're all going to die. Why are we always trying to fight it with so much strength? Nothing matters.”
He couldn't see it, but Diana was glaring at him. It wasn't the kind of inspirational attitude that needed to be heard by Annabelle. “If nothing we do matters, then the only thing that matters is what we do. Of course we're all going to die, but that was true before the world changed. In some ways it matters more now because every day is life and death. We can't just sit by and let someone else take care of the world. The living are the only ones with power and responsibility now. Maybe it's a burden, maybe it's a curse, but that's what we have to deal with.”
Adam knew she was right, but it didn't make him feel any better. He was at his lowest point since the moment before he had met Peter, when he had been ready to take his own life. He gazed out at the skeletal remains for a few moments longer, and then turned, leaning against the empty bed. At least he thought the bed was empty. As soon as he placed his hand down on the sheets, he felt something hard and sharp, and it made him jump. He drew his knife and held it in his shaking hand, staring down at the bed. Now that the blinds had been drawn a little more light poured into the room, and he could see the lump in the bed. Carefully, he stepped forward and pinched the bed sheet between his thumb and index finger. The knife still was shaking in his other hand. He pulled it back and a skeleton stared back at him. He closed his eyes, wishing he wasn't surrounded by death everywhere he looked. Then he thought of Annabelle and he quickly covered it up before her inquisitive eyes could see the horrific sight.
“Let's get out of here and do what we came here to do,” Adam said gruffly.
He was about ready to return to the camp and surro
und himself with the living. He knew he'd be better once he had a place to stay and a warm bed in which to sleep. The thought of actually having his own living space again was wonderful. As much as he liked Peter and the others, his mind was becoming frayed with all the time spent with other people. He'd always been an introvert, and being with people drained his energy. Perhaps that was why he was so tired and despondent, he thought. He just needed to hold on a little longer.
They four of them left the room and Diana decided to go left. Adam was too tired to start an argument with her. He figured he had made enough decisions for the group and it was time to let someone else have a chance. As they left he saw Annabelle take Diana's hand. He hoped he hadn't caused the little girl any undue stress, and he found that he was envious of Diana for having such a special relationship. He had lived most of his life alone. He had numbed himself to that way of living, but there were times when he wanted to mean something to someone.
“It's going to be okay,” Peter said, the two of them falling in step.
“I thought my life was over when Evangeline died, but it wasn't. We just find a way to carry on as best we can. If I did it, you can, too.”
“I know, but there's been so much death. How do you cope with it?”
“The worst thing you can do is fight against it. I tried, but it didn't work. You just have to accept it. Sometimes you feel like giving up, but you just have to think of what they would they like you to do. I knew Evangeline would have wanted me to try being happy, so I try living for her. You said that nothing matters, but it does. Everything I do I still do it for her, so it matters to me. She would have liked you. She'd want you to keep living and making sure we get to a safe place. I want to stay in that camp, too. It's nicer than that other building. We'll be okay,” he said. Adam didn't know why, but he trusted Peter's words.
