Neutrino didn’t want to do it. It was true, he had made that incredible jump, and he had returned from Arnasi, but it still felt like it was mostly luck and desperation. Would he be so lucky the next time? He kept imagining all of the things that could go wrong; the unknown waiting for him in the quiet deep of space. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to go back out. He wished there was someone else.
“Well, Neutrino? Are you going to do it?” Renix sighed deeply. “I could order you. I could threaten to throw you into the brig if you refuse, but there doesn’t seem to be much point. If imminent destruction isn’t motivation enough for you… Well, I don’t know what would be.”
Neutrino opened his eyes and stared down at the street below. People were starting their day, some hurriedly moving towards their destinations, others taking their time. Did they even know the danger they all faced? Had the Senate seen fit to warn them? Or was it deemed unnecessary? He thought about his mother, just waking up, watching the news, not knowing what lay in store, not knowing the choice her son now faced.
Would she be proud of me finally? Do I even care anymore?
Then he thought about Creet and his family. Neutrino had done so much already to try and save them, what would it be worth if he didn’t follow through? They would all perish anyway, along with the rest of the system. He closed his eyes, sighed and banged his head lightly against the glass.
“Uh, this is a bad idea,” he mumbled, then he said more loudly to the others, “When do I leave?”
“Two hours,” Renix said, “Listos will accompany you.”
Neutrino turned around to face them. Listos, the man he presumed to be the director’s assistant, was smiling contentedly up at him; the little psychopath evidently wanted to be part of this mission. Neutrino immediately didn’t like him. He also didn’t trust him, Listos was a little too eager to run into danger.
“You want me to take a passenger too?” Neutrino asked. Renix nodded. “But, sir, this will be hard enough on my own, why do I need him?”
“You’ll need a Navigator for the second part of your mission,” Renix stated simply, “Besides, you brought a passenger here from Arnasi, it seems this is another area you’ve improved greatly in.”
“Yeah, but, that was only because she was about to be eaten,” he snorted, “What is this ‘second part’ anyway? I thought I was just taking a message to a scientist.”
“At this point in time it’s irrelevant. You will only need to proceed with the second part if Dr. Darwyth’s project is complete. He will relay further instructions to you when necessary.”
Yet another perfectly military response, which also meant perfectly irritating. They were sending him on a mission to save the entire system, if he failed they would all be dead, but they still wouldn’t want to reveal any classified information if they didn’t have to. A week ago it might not have mattered to him. This was how the government worked, no use trying to stop it, but now… He couldn’t help feeling cheated and angry.
“Fine, if I have to take a Navigator with me, I’ll take Lylia.” Listos’ face dropped to the floor. Neutrino struggled to keep the smirk off his face.
“Lylia?” Renix said in disgust. “Why would you want to take her with you?”
“For one thing, she’s brilliant,” Neutrino retorted. He didn’t particularly care for Renix’s tone, “And I’ve already streamed with her so I know what to expect. It will be a much smoother trip than if I took someone new.” Renix looked at him with skeptical brown eyes, so Neutrino added, “And, quite frankly, you need me, and I want it to be her, so, just make it happen.”
“Very well,” Renix, looking slightly miffed, exhaled sharply through his nose and Neutrino wondered why he seemed to hate Lylia so much. “You can take her with you. Go to the mess hall for something to eat and then report to the Launch Room for final preparations.”
Renix stood up and began to walk out when he turned back towards Neutrino, “Thank you. You’re doing the right thing you know.”
So why do I feel so wrong about it? He just nodded at the director and the commander, who was looking rather pleased, as though he had had something to do with Neutrino’s advancement. Then they left with Listos walking close behind, every bit like a spoiled child who’s just been told “no” for the first time. Neutrino watched them go with mixed emotions. A single thought kept marching through his head with all the might of a military parade.
There’s never been a famous Neutrino before.
Trying to ignore it, Neutrino stared once more out the window towards his mother’s apartment. He wondered what she was serving for breakfast today.
16. Begging
A sharp knocking on the door to his mother’s apartment brought Neutrino from the breakfast table to see who it was. His mother had been gracious enough to make him some eggs and stone bread before she returned to her easy chair and eight-finger knitting. He thought it rather odd that someone should be at the door at this time; his mother had never had many visitors. He was not prepared for this particular guest.
“You lousy, spoiled, Stream brat! How could you?”
“Lylia?” She shouldered past him into the entry hall with her long ponytail whipping around behind her and nearly whacking Neutrino in the face. Her brown eyes flashing her rage, Lylia rounded on him with her fists tightly clenched and continued her tirade.
“Of all the stupid, selfish, arrogant--” she yelled.
“Whoa, Lylia, slow down!” he whisper-shouted back.
“Do you think the whole Universe just revolves around you? You had no right!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Myno, who is it?” Neutrino’s mother had come to the threshold to see what the commotion was about. She was still wearing the finger needles which were rapidly twitching away, creating some bright yellow square that nearly matched the blonde of her somewhat disheveled hair. She put it up every morning, but it never seemed to take long before it was falling out in pieces around her face, as though it was just too tired to stay upright. It generally matched the worn look in her eyes. “Is this a friend of yours?”
“Umm, sort of?” Neutrino looked to Lylia for help. He really wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Lylia just stood there with her arms folded tightly across her chest and glared at him.
“Oh. Well…” his mother didn’t seem to know what to say either, and at that moment her attention was drawn back to the vid of the last Slipstream Competition. “Nice to meet you,” she mumbled, then limped back over to her chair to watch the repeat she had seen already dozens of times. Lylia gave him a somewhat puzzled yet still angry look and Neutrino just shrugged.
“Why don’t you come in?” He closed the door and led her down the small hallway of his mother’s tiny apartment. There was only a kitchen attached to a small living room, two bedrooms and a bathroom. With his mother occupying the main room, Neutrino had no choice but to take Lylia to his bedroom.
As they entered, Neutrino noticed Lylia staring at his rather impressive collection of Messenger action figures and Slipstream memorabilia. He tried not to squirm as she examined them. It wasn’t exactly the impression he wanted to make, but he loved those toys. His mother had given him one every Celebration Season and Universal Space Day since he was a baby.
“Each figure represents a real Messenger, right?” Lylia asked.
“Yeah,” and Neutrino knew all of their greatest accomplishments and fastest course times. He had often wondered if he might have an action figure himself someday. Now it just seemed silly.
“Hmm,” she mused, “I see what you meant about Slipstream Messaging seeming like your only choice.”
He didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead he just asked, “Why are you here Lylia? How did you even know where to find me?”
“It wasn’t that hard, I just asked a few of the Messengers at the base where you would go.” Ouch. Wow, he really was pathetic if the only place he ever went besides the Academy barracks was his mo
ther’s apartment. “And I’m here because you’re a giant bag of ylmax dung. How could you volunteer me for this mission without even asking me?”
“I…I don’t know,” Neutrino said. “I guess I shouldn’t have.”
“You guess? You guess?! You’re unbelievable! Stream brat!” The last she accented with a finger pointed directly at his face, her anger back in full force.
“Would you stop calling me that? I’m not a Stream brat, I just…” he sighed.
“Just what?” She folded her arms and shot daggers at him with her eyes. He considered lying to her, but he needed her help and the only way to get that, he reasoned, was to just suck it up and be honest. What did it matter what she thought of him anyway? She obviously didn’t like him already, so what if she laughed at him.
“I’m just scared, okay,” he finally admitted. Then he took a breath and turned to the bed. He sat at the edge and looked down at his hands. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first. You’re right, I should have. But… but I just… I know that I can do this if you’re with me. I don’t think I can stream with anyone else,” he glanced briefly in Lylia’s eyes to gauge her reaction. She looked less angry but more confused, so he tried to explain. “I mean, we already completed a tough Slipstream trip together, so I think that, we could do it again. And, this is probably going to sound idiotic considering I haven’t known you for more than two days but, I feel like I can trust you. If you don’t want to do it, just tell me and I’ll take that peon Listos with me instead, I’m sure he’d be ecstatic, but I don’t trust him. I don’t trust him to do the right thing. I know… well I know that if things get messy with this mission, you’ll do the right thing. I know you don’t want to go; believe me, I understand. But, please Lylia, I need your help.”
Neutrino felt fairly stupid begging her for help like this, but considering his situation, he didn’t feel he had much choice. He looked at her face again. It had softened, but then she turned away.
“Stardust!” she cursed under her breath.
“Lylia,” Neutrino started but was quickly shut down when Lylia raised her hand, then a single finger indicating that she needed a minute. It was silent for several minutes while she apparently considered his request. Neutrino watched her long figure gracefully pace the short distance of his room.
“All right, fine, I’ll go with you,” she finally conceded. “But if we end up floating into space your air shield will be the second thing to go.”
The second thing? He wondered what the first was, but she just flashed him a mysterious smile over her shoulder, and turned to look back at the figure of Star Dancer.
“And besides, any chance to make Renix mad is a good day,” Lylia said as she ran her fingers over the doll’s helmet. Neutrino thought back to Renix’s sour reaction when he said he wanted Lylia for the mission.
“What is it with the two of you?”
“He’s not exactly an admirer of mine.”
“Why not?”
“He and I just don’t get along. I ask too many questions about things. I never could keep my mouth shut. You see, Renix doesn’t appreciate being questioned. He just wants everyone to do what he says in the way he tells them to do it. Usually they do. I was second in my class, could have been first except that I like to do things my way. How else do you think someone as skilled as I am wound up in the far reaches on that forsaken ball of dirt? That’s not conceit either, I really am that good,” she sniffed.
“Did you really hate Arnasi that much?” It seemed like an okay place to Neutrino.
Lylia sighed. “It just wasn’t exactly a challenge for a person like me. Some loser from the bottom of the class should have been sent there instead.” Neutrino retreated from her slightly. He knew that she had little respect for Slipstream Messengers in general, that was obvious. But was it more than that? Was she just another one of them?
“Why does this one have a helmet on?” Lylia changed the subject. She was still touching the figure.
“Don’t they teach you Navigators anything about Slipstream history?” Neutrino smiled. Lylia gave him a dirty look. He stood from the bed and walked up next to her, presumably to examine the figure closer.
“That’s Star Dancer,” He said, “She was the first female Messenger and in her day, they still hadn’t perfected the air shields and body armor, so they wore bulky helmets and suits. They also lost a lot more Messengers that way. Star Dancer herself died when her helmet cracked. Apparently, it had been damaged in a previous accident and suffered a micro-fracture which split apart in space.” Neutrino looked over to see Lylia staring at him kind of funny.
“You really know a lot about this, don’t you?” she asked. Neutrino just shrugged.
“We should get going, we’re probably already late.”
Lylia straightened and folded her arms again. She looked tense, but not so angry.
“Thank you, Lylia,” Neutrino couldn’t think of any graceful way to explain just how much her help meant to him. By the look in her eyes, Neutrino thought maybe she understood. “I just have to say goodbye to my mother.”
Neutrino walked back to the main room and knelt beside the worn out old gray chair his mother was sitting in, still staring vapidly at the vid screen. Lylia remained in the hall, but he was well aware that she could hear everything he said.
“Mom?”
“Hmm?” she responded without looking up or dropping a stitch.
“I have to go now, mom. I’m going to be gone for a little while maybe.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, they’re sending me on a mission,” he knew he shouldn’t even tell her that, but he just wanted her to know…something.
“They send cadets on missions now?” she asked, still staring at the vid as if she didn’t already know who would win.
“Well, no, but some things are happening. I can’t really tell you more but, well, Commander Trask said I would be graduating this season. I just thought you’d like to know.”
“Oh?” his mother looked down at him and smiled briefly, “That’s wonderful news! I knew you could do it.” Then her attention returned again to the vid. It wasn’t exactly the reaction Neutrino had imagined when he finally got to tell her he would be a Messenger.
What did you expect?
He looked down at her fingers moving swiftly back and forth and tried to tamp down his rising disappointment. She had never been an overly emotional person. Maybe he just wanted too much.
“Why didn’t you ever make me one of these blankets?” he asked. For as far back as Neutrino could remember, she was always knitting blankets, square by square. Most she donated to the local hospital and shelters, some she sold at weekly markets for a little extra spending money beyond what the government paid in disability. But she had never made one for him.
“Why would I? You always had those high efficiency blankets from the store.” She slowed her fingers briefly and looked down at the nearly completed square, then at Neutrino. “Did you want one?” she asked, clearly puzzled.
Neutrino shrugged. “I guess, it just would have been nice to have something you made.”
“Oh,” his mother’s brow creased and she looked back at the square. “Well,” she quickly finished up the square and tied off the ends. Then she removed the needles from her fingers, cut the trailing string, folded the square neatly and tucked it up the inside of his left shirt sleeve. “Take this then. Not exactly a blanket, more of a handkerchief really, but it’s yours.” She smiled a little then and looked right in his eyes.
“Thanks, mom,” he said. She nodded, put the needles back on to start a new project, and turned her attention once more to the vid screen.
He stood and rubbed his shirt just above where the handkerchief was stashed. “I’ll see you when I get back.” She didn’t respond.
17. Back into the Slipstream
“Where have you been? You’re late!” Commander Trask was yelling at Neutrino once again. It felt like any other day of the week.
“You were specifically told to go to the mess hall for breakfast, not to your stinkin’ mother’s. Why can’t you just follow orders for a change?”
“Look, I’m the one on the line here, if I want to have a decent last meal, I will.”
“You didn’t tell her anything about the mission did you?” The commander stopped and looked directly at him.
“No,” Neutrino paused. He had wanted to tell her, to tell somebody just how crazy this was, but he didn’t think she would even believe him. “All I told her was that I was going to be graduating finally. I didn’t think it hurt to tell her that and make her happy for once before I go. I expect you to back me up on it if I don’t make it back.”
“Of course,” the commander’s face softened slightly, “I don’t see how we could keep you from graduating, given the circumstances.”
“Thank you, commander.” It was a rare and silent moment between them. One in which they understood each other.
It didn’t last long. Commander Trask resumed his rapid pace and Neutrino and Lylia followed. They had nearly reached their destination when Neutrino remembered the commander’s comment about his parents earlier. He had wanted to ask his mother, but he didn’t have time, what with Lylia showing up.
“Commander Trask, what did you mean when you talked about my parents this morning?” He caught Lylia’s narrowed eyes over his shoulder. He had the feeling she was scrutinizing him, cataloguing everything for future reference. It made him uncomfortable, but he had to ask before he left Venthall. Who knew if he’d ever come back?
“What?”
“You know, you said something about where I come from?”
“I was just talking about your grandfather is all. He was a great Slipstream Messenger you know, he could do the Talisius Prime run better than anyone,” replied the commander without breaking his gait.
Slipstream Messenger (Neutrino Book 1) Page 10
