Croygen directed us to the Otherworld door, not hesitating before he crossed over, disappearing. I was next to follow, but a hand came down on my shoulder.
“If you are the reason Ryker dies,” Amara’s voice whispered harshly in my ear from behind, “I will kill you myself.” With a shove, my body stumbled through the door.
I whirled around to retaliate, but halted when both she and Ryker stepped through together. Looking like an idyllic couple, her arm looped through his.
He seemed oblivious to her territorial claim. He listened as she filled him in on what happened to her as we made our way back through the doors to Peru. His only interruptions were to ask her more about Vadik and everything she could remember about the infamous man. No one had seen him before, and Ryker was intent on learning everything he could.
Finally we reached the entry we used in the forest of Peru. The moment I stepped back into the warmth of South America, I moaned happily. Thawing, I rubbed at my fingers and toes. We hadn’t been in Aguas Calientes long, but it already felt like home. Seattle held much sadness and death in my memory. This place was a new beginning, and I liked the life Ryker, Sprig, and I were forming here—a happy bubble—a fragile haven, which burst the moment we stepped into the fae door. It would have happened eventually, but I wasn’t ready for it to end this soon. We had finally let our walls down, let each other in, and now the close feeling was gone. What if I would never have his lips on mine, or feel him inside me again? I shook my head. I can’t think of it right now.
If it was possible, the trek back to the village felt even longer. Watching Amara walk next to Ryker and touching him every chance she got, the reality of the situation was setting in. It was like someone was grinding my heart, mincing it into slop. Anger and agony pressed down on me, weighed my body down, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was the other woman. The bitch. The one who slept with an unavailable man. I had known this was coming, but I heedlessly jumped anyway.
Stupid!
My ribs crushed down on my lungs, strangling the air from my lungs. Hurt tore into my soul, causing me to stagger to the side.
“You all right, Bhean?” Sprig was still on my shoulder, his hand touching my cheek.
“Yeah.” Of course I wasn’t fine. About anything.
“You don’t look so good.”
I couldn’t breathe. I grasped at my chest, my feet tripping over a shrub.
“Whoa.” Sprig’s nails dug into my skin as he clung on. “Viking?” he yelled for Ryker.
Was it finally happening? Terror ran cold down my spine. I didn’t know if I’d die slow or fast. It wasn’t a detail Daniel ever got around to explain. I was really hoping it was the latter.
“Zoey?” I heard Ryker call for me.
If we were alone, dying in his arms would be a good way to go, but I didn’t want Amara and Croygen there. I wanted to be home, safe in the bed Ryker and I had shared many nights.
The world around me swirled, making me dizzy. I heard my name again before my eyes shut and a rush of air swished past me. I felt the soft mattress beneath my body before anything else. Without opening my eyes I knew I was back home.
“Dingle droppings!” Sprig’s arms and legs were wrapped around my neck, holding on for dear life. He eventually untangled himself and lay on the pillow next to me.
My lids lifted but my head still spun, and I quickly shut them again, bile rumbling around in my stomach. Guilt twisted it even more. Every time I used his magic, Ryker’s powers became a little bit more mine. In a way I was murdering him. Slowly and torturously.
“Uh-oh. Code red.” Sprig’s voice opened my eyes again. “All over the sheets.”
Blood dripped from my nose and soaked into the newly changed white bedding. The poor maid should be getting overtime with us. Disappointment slammed into me; it was over now. Would the housekeeper have to change the sheets for Ryker and Amara? I barely got to the toilet in time.
Heaviness dropped me to my knees. Utter loneliness I hadn’t felt since before Lexie came into my life constricted my chest. Dying only roused the feeling stronger. Isolating me. It sent thoughts of Sera into my mind. She would understand. If she only believed me when I told her we were DMG’s experiments. I didn’t blame her for not trusting me; it did sound crazy. And it’s not like we ever liked each other.
I truly had no one, and it almost crippled me. When I was young I turned the emotion to anger and lashed out. It was not so simple now.
Blood poured from nose, zapping me of energy. By the time it stopped, and I cleaned myself up, I barely could get back to the bed. I crumpled onto the mattress and wrapped my body with an extra sheet left on the table. Sprig was sound asleep on the other pillow, his snores fluttering in the air.
My lashes dropped, and I quickly joined him, letting sleep take me.
SIXTEEN
Heated voices roused me out of my slumber.
“I’m sorry, I’m confused. I don’t understand what is going on here, Ryker. Do you care about her or something?” Amara’s voice stirred my lids to open, but I closed them tighter. “She is human.”
“I know that,” Ryker’s deep voice responded. The room was tiny, but it sounded like they stood at the foot of the bed by the table, underneath the windows.
“You despise humans.”
“I still do.”
Ouch.
“Or at least I used to,” he huffed. “Look. I don’t want to discuss Zoey with you, but she and I have gone through a lot. She’s made me see things differently.”
I could no longer keep my eyes closed. I cracked them enough to let a sliver of light break through, to watch them without them knowing I was awake.
I was not above eavesdropping.
“See things differently?” she repeated. “If I didn’t know you as well as I do, I’d say something was going on between you. But I know you would never fall for a human. Ever. Especially when your girlfriend is locked in a prison being tortured. For you!”
“Mar—”
“Be careful, Ryker. You might tolerate her, but she clearly has a crush on you. You need to stop it now. I am back. She needs to understand her place.”
Understand my place! Excuse me?
Ryker’s silence cut into my heart.
“The girl already has to die for you. You should simply help her do it now and get it over with.”
“Amara!” Ryker seethed.
“What? It’s the truth. She has to die, Ryker. You need your powers back. Her life is a blink of an eye to ours. She could step out tomorrow and get hit by a car or something. Humans are fragile. You were the one always telling me that.”
“Yeah, I did.” He let his sentence trail off. “But she has shown me they are not as delicate as I thought. At least not this one.”
“Wow,” she snorted. “She has really made you soft.”
“Excuse me?”
“Where is the intimidating Wanderer I knew? The man I knew? Can you still lift your axe, or do you need help with it?”
Ryker growled, grabbing her arm.
“There he is.” She let her head drop back, pushing herself in. Her hand went for his cargo buttons. “Oh, it looks like all of you are here.”
The impulse to lunge for her, ripping her away from him, sawed my teeth together. My fists were always my first reaction. And I struggled to not let the Avenging Angel come to the surface.
Calm down, Zoey. Busting her lip and breaking her fingers will not help the situation.
But I really wanted to.
“Stop.” He gripped her wrist tighter.
“Why?” She glanced at me and back to him. “She’s out cold. Croygen has vanished. And don’t tell me you haven’t been dreaming about this for the last month.” She pulled the first button free. “My gods, do you know how many nights I dreamed you were inside me, recreating the night we had in Rome?”
Ryker’s lids shut, squeezing them tight. “Stop,” he whispered hoarsely.
“You want to fuck me,
Ryker. Don’t deny it.” She leaned up, her voice husky. “Right here.”
Frozen. I had no air. Not a muscle twitched.
Ryker inhaled and exhaled rapidly while Amara undid the rest of his buttons.
I wanted to scream. To stop him, but nothing came out.
“No!” Ryker barked, moving out of her reach. She stilled, shock furrowing her brow. “Things are not the same as before.”
“What are you talking about?” Amara’s head once again flicked over to my “sleeping” form. “Are-are you telling me you don’t love me anymore?”
“Mar, come on. You know I am not capable of loving anyone. And you can’t say you ever really loved me. It’s what made us compatible.”
“I didn’t love you? I was tortured for you!” She shoved at his chest.
They both stood there, breathing heavy.
“Oh my gods... have you fallen for her?” Amara’s voice rose in astonishment, like it was the first time she considered the notion an actual possibility.
Ryker shifted on his feet. “This has nothing to do with her.”
“Not an answer, Ryker. Do you love her?”
“No. Of course not.” He rubbed the top of his head. My eyes squeezed together to push out the pain that barreled down on me. Did I think he was in love with me? No. But it still hurt to hear.
“Ryker, you know I’ve always been open to other girls. As long as there were no feelings attached, it didn’t bother me.” Amara pushed her violet hair over her shoulder.
“I nev—”
“I know. You are as loyal as they come. And I know you and I are always going to come back to each other, no matter what. I was always okay with the fact you didn’t love me. No one else will tolerate it. Like you said, that’s why we work. You know it, and I know it. All the others are temporary, and it will always be us,” Amara huffed. “She is only a blip on the radar, and you will forget her soon enough.”
Ryker opened his mouth to speak, but Amara raised her hand. “Right now we have more important things to deal with. If you want to play this little game of yours with the human, that is fine. At the end of the day I know it will be me you come back to.” Amara turned and went to the door. “I am going to go find more clean sheets. Those are covered with blood and smell like her and that monkey.” She stepped out the door, shutting it firmly behind her.
“What. A. Bitch.” Sprig popped up the moment the door shut. I should have known I wasn’t the only one eavesdropping.
Ryker rubbed his face, plunking down on the bed, his back to me. “You can stop pretending, Zoey. I know you’re awake.”
Oh, was this the reason he stopped her? Because he knew I was awake? Of course his feelings for her wouldn’t simply disappear. I knew this time was coming. It was probably better now than later.
I sat up slowly.
He twisted his head to glance over at me. “You all right?”
I tilted my head, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah.” He scrubbed his head where his hair laced in firm braids. “We need to—”
I put my hand up. I couldn’t handle the impending rejection. “Things have become complicated. Amara’s back. Till this is all over, we will return to solely being partners. Focus on what is really important.”
His jaw twitched. “Pretend nothing happened?”
“Yes.”
“Can I do it too?” Sprig raised his hand. “Otherwise your therapy bill is going to be extensive.”
We both shot him a shut up and go away look. He squeaked and dug himself under a pillow.
“Is that what you want?” Ryker’s voice was void of emotion, which pissed me off.
“It’s not about what I want, Ryker.” Anger moved me out from the twisted sheets, standing.
“What. Do. You. Want?” Ryker rose off the bed, his figure towering over me.
“What I want is to live a long, happy life. To have my sister and Daniel alive. To not have your fae powers trapped in me. To be free of all this. Of you and her.” I wanted to bite my tongue. It came out wrong. Jealousy of Amara was coating my every thought.
His eyes flashed.
“I didn’t mean it.”
“Yes, you did.” He took a step away from me.
My mouth opened to say something, but he was out the door before I could utter a sound.
Shit!
I flopped back on the bed and tugged the sheet over my head. Everything was so messed up. And as usual I only made it worse.
Sprig’s little fingers tapped on the blanket at my forehead. “Not to bother you or anything, but are we getting dinner anytime soon?”
Muscles pinched in my arm and I wiggled, trying to find a more comfortable arrangement. My mind churned with the frequency of someone turning the channels nonstop on the TV. Even with everyone asleep, or pretending to be, the tension in the room was dense, each one of us fighting for dominance. The dislikes outweighed the likes in the room, and most were pointed at me, except from Sprig.
Trying not to toss and turn was torture. Amara’s sighs of contempt every time I rolled over were enough to force me to hold still. I couldn’t blame her. She didn’t like this setup any more than I did. If it wasn’t for the fact I lay next to her, I would have laughed. She probably never imagined one day, per Ryker’s request, she would be sleeping next to a human.
Earlier in the evening, after Amara had remade the bed, she voted I go grab dinner. The only reason I complied was because I wanted nothing more than to get out of the room. Away from her and Ryker. He had stopped speaking to me, and the small room became insufferable. Croygen returned after I brought dinner back. The four of us and Sprig ate pizza in mostly awkward silence.
“The girls get the bed; Croygen and I are on the floor,” Ryker stated, heading for the bathroom.
“What?” Amara jumped up from the bed. “I am not sleeping with her!”
Ryker stopped, turning slowly.
“I actually second that.” I folded my arms, leaning back in the desk chair.
“I don’t care.” Ryker scowled. “That’s how it’s going to be.” He whipped around and slammed the restroom door behind him.
Amara huffed, falling back on the bed in a pout, shooting a glare at me like it was my fault.
In a way it might have been. There was no way one of us would let the other one share the bed with him, so this was the best arrangement without it getting into a full catfight.
It still pissed me off.
Almost like Croygen was reading my mind, he motioned to the two of us. “If you girls decide at any time you are going to wrestle, let me know.”
“Why would we fight?” Amara twisted her lips up. “She doesn’t have anything worth fighting her for.”
Oh, she was asking for it.
She got up and began preparing for bed.
Now she and I were stuck sleeping next to each other. I rolled over, tucking in on my other side. She was a snobby bitch, especially about humans. The problem was I wanted to hate her for more than just Ryker, to think she was a spoiled princess, but I couldn’t. She didn’t back away from hard work. She dove in, remaking the bed and scrubbing the bathroom because she found too much of Sprig’s fur everywhere. Maybe she was a bitch, but one with a solid work ethic, which was hard not to respect in a way. The feeling only stirred more unease in me.
It wasn’t merely because I was sleeping next to Ryker’s girlfriend. It went deeper than that. Being this close to fae dragged up all my old prejudices. I still was not comfortable with all fae. I had grown accustomed to Ryker and Sprig. In my head I put them in a separate group, and all the other fae we came into contact with were kept at a distance. Here there was no distance.
Though, I would be unrecognizable to my Collector group now. Sera once slandered me when she believed I had slept with a fae. The idea at the time repulsed me. Disgusted me. Now look at me. I really had crawled into bed with the enemy.
I glanced at Ryker on the ground beside the bed and then over to Amara, sleeping next
to me. I rotated over again. The bed felt like a torture device. The other night Ryker and I were having sex in this bed, now his girlfriend was in here with me, and he was on the floor. Everything that made me feel secure and happy vanished. It felt like I was standing on the top of the tallest building and the floor evaporated under my feet, leaving me scrambling and flailing for anything to break my fall. My stomach plummeting as I dropped into the abyss.
I was used to change, feeling unstable, but I had kept my guard up, never letting hope in. Ryker pushed down the wall, and now I was left scared, unsure, and lost.
My arm twinged with discomfort. I let out a low sigh. Only a baseball bat or bottle of whiskey was going to help me relax tonight. I kicked at the sheets, which tangled around my ankles. A hand landed on my calf, pressing it down on the mattress. My head jerked up. Ryker still lay on his back on the ground, one elbow bent, covering his eyes, his other hand on my leg. His thumb rubbed in soft circles above my ankle bone. I watched him for a while before I laid my head back down, tucking into the pillow.
His touch could ignite my blood but also calm me. Tonight I was going to focus on the soothing option since the kindling would only get me frustrated and more restless. I let my lids drift close, absorbing the rhythmic motions on my skin.
All I wanted was to have time with Ryker and Sprig and live a life free of DMG and Vadik. I wanted nothing more than for Amara to disappear. Sadly, no matter how much I wished her away, she would be the one who ended up with Ryker. Even if I did live a full life, it was still a human one. Compared to Ryker and the years he already lived, my life was a blip. I could see why he cut off humans after a while. Why grow close to someone who would not live as long as you?
But you could live forever. You could have Ryker and all you ever dreamed of, a voice deep in my heart said. My eyes opened, and I glanced over at Ryker’s boots. The unassuming worn boots sat next to the dresser. The power that lay at the bottom of one of the heels was immense but chilling. And very, very tempting. All I had to do was agree to let it in, and it would give me all I ever desired. Didn’t I deserve it? My life had been full of pain, fear, hurt, and sadness. Wasn’t it my turn to have some good things come my way? It wasn’t like I wanted to take over the world like others did. I wanted a family, my sister back, Daniel alive again, a mom and dad. Money, home, security.
The Barrier Between (Collector Series # 2) Page 16
