by Hugh Cook
"I have come to seek your aid against Shabble," said Guest.
"I don't know if you've heard, but Shabble has seized Safrak.
Shabble's a ball, a ball which flies. It throws fire, too, and speaks in prophecy of the teachings of a Cockroach."
"I know of Shabble," said Iva-Italis. "And I know of Shabble's recent doings. Do not trouble your head about Shabble, dear friend, for Shabble is but a toy, a thing of trifles."
"A toy!" said Guest.
"Just so," said Iva-Italis approvingly.
"This ... this toy of which you speak so lightly, this toy has set its heart on global conquest, a feat one thinks within its powers."
"Undoubtedly," said Iva-Italis, entirely unperturbed by this probability. "So Shabble seizes. So Shabble conquers. But, having seized, will Shabble hold?"
"I don't see what can stop the thing," said Guest.
"It's not a question of stopping," said Iva-Italis. "The thing is a toy, as I have said. It is trifling in its nature. It has fads, fashions, passing fancies. The preaching of religion, the conquest of the world - Guest, the thing is but a bubble. It will tire of its games. Come back to me when Shabble is gone, and then we will talk business."
Privately, Guest thought as did Iva-Italis. Shabble would tire of the game of world conquest sooner or later. But it had by now occurred to Guest that the people Shabble had been installing on Alozay - many of them piratical refugees who had fled from Untunchilamon and had arrived by diverse paths at the Temple of Cockroach which had been founded in Port Domax - would not tire so readily.
By the time Shabble abandoned the Circle of the Partnership Banks to find new toys elsewhere, Shabble's followers might have consolidated a regime which could rule the world with or without the bubble of bounce - a regime which would have precious little use for Guest Gulkan, and precious little time for his pretensions to power.
So Guest wanted Shabble abolished - and now!Guest had expected Iva-Italis to be angry rather than calm; and, finding the demon not angry, Guest presumed the thing to be ignorant of the fate of its master Jocasta, and hence vulnerable to bluff.
"My lord," said Guest, seeking some way to bend Iva-Italis to his will. "You may not have heard, but your master Jocasta is in desperate peril in Obooloo. Shabble has chosen to close the Door which gives us access to Obooloo from Alozay. If we could but reopen that Door, and promptly, then - "
"You are a liar," said Iva-Italis calmly.
"A liar?" said Guest, effecting surprise. "Me? My lord, the Yarglat are noted for their honor."
"You," said Iva-Italis, "are noted for the weight of your turds and the bigness of your ears. I am in daily contact with the Great God Jocasta. Even now, that Great God languishes in Dalar ken Halvar, recovering its strength after an encounter with the evil Anaconda Stogirov."
"So you will not help me," said Guest.
"I will do nothing precipitate," said Iva-Italis. "If you cannot control your suicidal urge to over-hasty action, then you must find your death in your own time, in your own way, and without any help from me."
Rebuffed, Guest Gulkan withdrew, and began to brood his way around the Hall of Time, pacing a slow and steady track around its echoing oval. While he tried to think of a way to coerce Iva-Italis to his service, he began an idle inspection of the timepods, smearing away the dust and spiders to gaze on the visages inside.
Most were unchanged from the first inspection he had made of this facility - long, long ago, in the years when he had been but a boy hostage on Alozay.
But to his surprise, when he had scarcely begun his inspection, Guest found someone who was - was it? - yes! - it was her! Yerzerdayla! Yerzerdayla, yes, the woman whom he had won from Thodric Jarl in combat! Yerzerdayla the fair, locked in her timeprison!Guest Gulkan thought this the greatest of all imaginable mysteries, for he had long been under the impression that Yerzerdayla had been left in Gendormargensis when Witchlord and Weaponmaster had gone to war with each other. As the interloper Khmar had taken advantage of that civil war to conquer first Gendormargensis then the entire Collosnon Empire, Guest believed that Yerzerdayla had surely fallen to Khmar's possession. He had heard, after all, that Thodric Jarl had chosen to enter Khmar's service specifically so he could reclaim the luscious Yerzerdayla.
So how had Yerzerdayla come to be on Alozay?
A great, great mystery!
Of course it was really no mystery at all. For the simple fact was that the Witchlord Onosh, insulted to find Thodric Jarl leaving his service on account of a woman, had arranged by secret treaty for Yerzerdayla to be covertly brought to Safrak.
The Weaponmaster - who had entirely forgotten about his beloved Penelope now that he had sight of Yerzerdayla - caught himself licking his lips.
He broke away from the time prison pod, since staring at the stasis-frozen woman was getting him nowhere. From past experience he knew full well that the pods could not be broken by brute force - they could only be opened or closed by application of ever-ice.
And the sole chip of ever-ice on Alozay was in the ring which had fallen to Yilda's possession!
Well.Guest Gulkan was not about to confess his need for that ring, since such confession would give Yilda a hold over him, and give Shabble a hold too.
As Guest turned away from Yerzerdayla, a thought occurred to him. He returned to the ever-patient block of jade which represented the corporeal form of Icaria Scaria Iva-Italis.
"My good lord Italis," said Guest.
"Iva-Italis," said the demon, as fond of its proper name as any person-in-the-flesh.
"Iva-Italis," said Guest. "Can you ... have you any idea how long Shabble usually maintains an interest in ... in a new sport?"
"Shabble," said Iva-Italis, "never maintains an interest in anything for more than half a thousand years at a time."
Half a thousand years!
That prospect was enough to push Guest into swift and decisive action, and soon afterwards a gathering of seven met in conspiracy. Those seven were Vernon Brigadoon Sod, Onosh Gulkan, Guest Gulkan, Eljuk Zala Gulkan, Thayer Levant, Ontario Nol and Hostaja Sken-Pitilkin.
"Half a thousand years!" said Sod, when he knew the worst.
"One suspects," said Lord Onosh, "that it is but the blink of an eye to a demon."
"An eyeblink!" said Sod. "I have been on Alozay far too long to suffer another eyelash of it!"
Banker Sod had of course been taken hostage before Witchlord and Weaponmaster went questing for the x-x-zix. Sod had expected his hostagehood to be brief, but instead it had stretched out almost to eternity.
"So the demon will wait," said Ontario Nol. "It will wait rather than help us. Very well. Then we must wait likewise. Or else we must steel ourselves to action, and tackle this Shabble on our own. However ... do we have the power to destroy this Shabble?
One doubts it."
"The thing can be broken," said Sken-Pitilkin.
"Surely," said Guest Gulkan, remembering back to his adventures on Untunchilamon, and a crisis of combat in the wormways deep beneath the equatorial city of Injiltaprajura. "It can be broken, and knows it, and fears its own breakage."
"How do you know that?" said Eljuk Zala, he who in his prideful days as a wizard's apprentice was inclined to doubt very much that his warworthy but ignorant brother Guest could be an authority on anything as arcane as a Shabble.
"We fought this Shabble on Untunchilamon," said Guest. "There was an iron dog, underneath the city. A dorgi. The iron dog, the dorgi, the dorgi made the bubble run. Later, there was a demon."
"Like Iva-Italis?" said Eljuk.
"No," said Guest, glad to be able to lecture his scholarly brother for once, instead of enduring the reverse position. "The demon on Untunchilamon was greater by far. Not a rock but a spirit. It's name was Binchinminfin."
Then Guest indulged himself by giving his wide-mouthed brother Eljuk a terse but melodramatic account of the doings of the demon Binchinminfin on the island of Untunchilamon.
"We were u
nderground when the demon raided Untunchilamon," said Guest. "We were held prisoner by Shabble. But by the time Shabble got us to the surface, why, this demon Binchinminfin had seized the island's ruling palace. So we decided to attack it.
Shabble set us at liberty, and we launched ourselves on an assault of the palace."
"And?" said Eljuk.
"And we were lucky not to be killed!" said Guest. "The demon was mightier than any of us! It almost killed Shabble! There was a firefight, Shabble and the demon. Then Shabble ran, because the bubble was too scare to fight with Binchinminfin any further."
"So what did you do then?" said Eljuk.
"Why," said Guest, "we left the demon in possession of the palace. Then we went downhill and we all got drunk."
This was the truth, but it was not at all what Eljuk had expected to hear. He had expected to hear that his warworthy brother had somehow challenged the demon and defeated it - though the sorry truth was that the mastery of Binchinminfin had proved beyond Guest Gulkan's means, and in the end it the task of getting rid of it had been accomplished by an Ebrell Islander named Chegory Guy, whose later destiny had been to serve the Cockroach in a temple in Port Domax.
Seeing that he was in danger of losing some large fraction of his brother's esteem, Guest hurried past the subject of getting drunk in the face of a demon's danger.
"Anyway," said Guest, "enough of Binchinminfin! Suffice it to say that the demon, why, it could take people in possession then change their form to whatever monstrosity suited its purposes.
That demon - why, that one made Shabble run."
"How?" said Eljuk, wishing that he himself had been privileged to see the doings of Binchinminfin on Untunchilamon.
"I don't know," said Guest. "Maybe Iva-Italis could tell us, after all, Italis is a demon of sorts, but Italis doesn't want to help."
With a brute force confrontation being eventually ruled out by careful debate, the conspiracy then discussed the character of Shabble's trusted associates, and in particular the character of Yilda and Uckermark.
"Uckermark is a corpse master," said the Weaponmaster. "He's a pillager and a pirate to boot. A booty-hunter with the morals of a mosquito. If we can bribe him to our purpose, then he'll turn from Shabble's service sharply enough."
"But Shabble is bent on world conquest," said Lord Onosh.
"What could we offer Uckermark which would over-shadow the potential rewards of association with a world-conqueror?"
"I think," said Eljuk Zala. "I think - "
"About time, young man," said Sken-Pitilkin. "I always thought you had some thinking in you, if you would but give yourself a chance. Tell us now, what do you think?"
"We may perhaps lack the slaughtering of this Shabble," said Eljuk. "But I think its displacement still within our power."
"Displacement?" said Guest, who knew not that word in its Galish incarnation.
"Maybe he means we could kick it," said Thayer Levant.
"I have," said Eljuk Zala carefully, "something very close to that in mind."
Then Eljuk explained what he had in mind.
Chapter Forty-Three
Name: Vernon Brigadoon Sod (aka Banker Sod).
Birthplace: Latimore (a small town near Chi'ash-lan).
Occupation: merchant banker.
Status: Owner of the Morgrim Bank of Chi'ash-lan; claimant to the Safrak Bank; sometime Governor of the Partnership Banks; owner of the wondrous Pazabantsen mansion (most notable building in all of Chi'ash-lan); father of the voluptuous Damsel.
Description: florid male of iceman race, with the black fingernails and thick white bodyhair so typical of that breed.
Hair, eyes and teeth all similarly yellow.
Hobby: breeding snails.
Quote: "The world's one great hidden secret is that we live in a great Age of Agiotage. This is the real significance of the Circle of the Doors."
The conspirators required a night of cloud and fog, something they could not wish into being by mere force of will alone. The right conditions first came some five nights after the banquet which had greeted the return of Witchlord and Weaponmaster to the island of Alozay.
With a night of cloud and fog having been secured to their satisfaction, the conspirators gathered in the banquet hall in Dolce Obo, the Pillow Stratum of the mainrock Pinnacle. In that great gloom, they confirmed their federation. Sken-Pitilkin had a stickbird airship waiting on the Palace Docks of Alozay. The wizard of Skatzabratzumon, accompanied by Ontario Nol and Eljuk Zala, would fly the airship to the heights.
As a wizard of Itch, Ontario Nol had powers to command the winds, and Nol's ability to summon up a miniature tornado or a minor whirlwind could conceivably prove useful if things went wrong and they found themselves locked in outright battle with Shabble.
With those three confirmed in their roles, they departed, going downward toward the Winch Stratum, where bribed washerwomen were waiting to lower them to the docks where Sken-Pitilkin's stickbird waited.
For his part, the Witchlord Onosh would play no active role in the assault on Shabble. Rather, he would withdraw and wait.
Once the star-globe had been stolen, Lord Onosh would stay on Alozay and play at being innocent. If Shabble chose to remain on the island even with the star-globe gone, why then, Lord Onosh would accept Shabble's authority.
But if Shabble left the island, then Lord Onosh would seize power - easy enough to do, since everyone on the island was loyal to him but for a few bandits such as Yilda and Uckermark who gave their allegiance to Shabble.
"Unfortunately," said Lord Onosh, "I do not think it wise to barbecue this Uckermark, or pull his teeth out one by one, lest Shabble hear of it and one day take revenge. But you can be assured that his authority will cease the moment the bubble flees this realm!"
"Yes," said Guest. "All well and good. But remember that Yilda has my ring! Don't let her swallow it!"
"I won't," said Lord Onosh. "I'll make very sure I get hold of that ring."
It had already been agreed amongst the conspirators that the star-globe would not return to Alozay until three years had passed. That should prove long enough for Shabble to lose interest in the island and depart.
Banker Sod had insisted on accompanying the star-globe into exile, hence was to accompany the raiding party which would shortly venture upstairs to steal treasure from Shabble.
"You realize," said Lord Onosh, who did not trust Banker Sod any further than he trusted the demon Italis, "that if you do not return at the end of three years, then I will execute your daughter Damsel."
"I know it," said Sod.
Sod had pledged his daughter Damsel as a hostage - without consulting that young woman on the matter.
That, then, was the plan.
The star-globe would be stolen, and carried far from Alozay, and kept away from that island for three years. To safeguard the star-globe, those who stole it would not decide upon their place of exile until three years had passed. That way, even if Shabble interrogated Lord Onosh, the Witchlord would not be able to say where the star-globe had gone to.
At the end of three years, with Shabble having departed - back to Port Domax and its Temple of the Holy Cockroach, or back to Untunchilamon perhaps - Sken-Pitilkin would return the star- globe to Alozay by stickbird, and the Circle of the Partnership Banks would once more be reopened.
With all confirmed, Lord Onosh took himself off to his bed - not to sleep, but to worry.
That left three.Sken-Pitilkin, Ontario Nol and Eljuk Zala Gulkan had gone downwards to the docks of Alozay. All going right, they should have claimed Sken-Pitilkin's stickbird already, and have lofted the thing to the air. Lord Onosh had taken himself off to bed.
So the only people left in the banqueting hall were those who were going to tackle Shabble head on head: the Weaponmaster Guest Gulkan, his faithful servant Thayer Levant, and Banker Sod of Chi'ash-lan.
"Well," said Guest, uneasily. "Let's get on with it."
Then, with Thayer L
evant lighting the way with two lanterns carried on a bablobrokmadorni stick - an implement unknown on Alozay until it had been imported by some of the piratical refugees from Untunchilamon - they made their way upward through the mainrock. As they went, Guest Gulkan worried. In particular, he worried about Sod, and the difficulties of guarding against Sod's treachery for three long years of exile.
And where would they spend that exile?
The idea of not deciding on a destination until they had quit Alozay was a good one. It secured them against accidental betrayal. But it also made Guest profoundly unsettled not to know where he would spend the next three years.
Where could they go?
Galsh Ebrek? Possibly, but rumors from Galsh Ebrek reached Port Domax by way of trade. Ashmolea? A highly civilized place, by all accounts, but also another place which traded with Port Domax.
Dalar ken Halvar? Too dangerous, since Shabble knew that Witchlord and Weaponmaster had lately been in that city. Drangsturm? Sken-Pitilkin could go nowhere near Drangsturm, since he was a renegade wanted by the Confederation of Wizards. Sken-Pitilkin's home island, then? No, for Shabble would surely think to seek for the wizard of Drum on the island of Drum. What about Chi'ash-lan itself? Too dangerous, for it would put them in Sod's power.
So where?Sken-Pitilkin seemed so confident that he would be able to hide in a place beyond Shabble reach that Guest was slowly coming to the conclusion that the wizard of Skatzabratzumon intended to fly them to Argan South, and land them in the terror-lands of the Deep South, those wastelands which were commanded by the monsters of the Swarms.
He did not like that idea at all.
Revolving such complexities in his mind, Guest Gulkan walked as rearguard behind Sod and Thayer Levant as they quit Dolce Obo, the Pillow Stratum, home to the mainrock's living quarters.
Quitting Dolce Obo, they ventured upward through the office layer of Inic Obo, the enforcement layer of Brondon Obo and the paper-storage layer of Trilip Obo. At Trilip Obo, they paused for long enough to set fire to the outer wooden staircase which led upwards to the weirding room. Then they took the inner stairway which led upwards from Trilip Obo to Zi Obo, the Pod Stratum.
