by Riley Moreno
“Ethan?”
“I’m right here.”
He emerged from the bedroom in a freshly pressed blue suit and a paisley tie. Shaved with his hair slicked back, his smile widened when he saw her, and Julie felt a rush of crimson spring into her cheeks.
“What’s all this?” she asked as he took her hand in his.
“Sort of a surprise,” he said. “Are you okay?”
Julie started to answer when she melted into the feel of his free arm winding around her waist. His hold was still the safest place to be, and Julie fell into his chest and nodded softly.
“Good,” he whispered into her hair. “Because it’s all for you.”
Looking into his eyes again, Julie took note of the worry lines leaving his face as she curled closer. His breath wafted into her eyes, and Julie sank into his shoulder as he held her again.
“Well thank you for that,” Julie said.
Lifting her eyes to his, he kissed her softly, and she stared to give into the lure of his mouth when she remembered her big news and suddenly broke away.
“What?” he asked, a tinge of worry trapped in his tone. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” she said as she smiled and shook her head. “In fact, I don’t see how things could be more right.”
Ethan cocked his head to the side, and Julie guided him towards the couch. Sitting together slowly, she kissed him again and kept her fingers on her neck.
“It’s Kim,” she started.
“Oh really?”
“Yes really,” Julie said as she playfully nudged his ribs and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I think she’s finally coming around.”
“Why the sudden change of play?”
“She just seems like more like herself,” Julie continued. “Her old self. Before…”
Sometimes just thinking about it was still hard, and when Julie shuddered, Ethan’s embrace was right there to calm the waters in her soul.
“A good thing,” he reminded her. “You just said that she needed some time to feel normal.”
“And I think she does now. I mean, maybe she’s not all the way there. But she’s taking… I don’t know. Baby steps or whatever.”
Ethan stayed in her eyes as he appeared to let her words sink in, and Julie waited for his reaction with her teeth to her lips.
“Thank god for the little things,” he said. “They save you every time.”
“Don’t they just.”
Flinging her arms around his neck, she started to claim his mouth again. More and more, there was nothing even resembling fear when she held him, when she kissed him, and she started to wind her leg around his when he suddenly pushed back with a gentle laugh.
“What is it?” she asked. “Something wrong with you?”
For a second, his eyes grew dark, hinting at some unseen concern buried deep in his soul.
He has his own crosses to carry. I’d be wise to remember---
“Other than needing to get a jump on my plans, nothing at all.”
Stretching to his feet, Ethan offered his arm, assuming the stance of a gentleman caller. Julie was nearly ready to take hold when she stared down at her ratty jeans and laughed.
“If you’ve gone to all this trouble, I should really be dressed for the occasion.”
“You look just fine to me, Juliet.”
“Give me a second, and you’ll like me even more.”
Kissing his cheek, Julie rushed to the bedroom and stripped as soon as had the door closed behind her. Pushing into her closet, she picked though a rack of clothes and was about to go with a high-necked blouse paired with a dark, flared skirt. But as soon as she started to step into it, Julie caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror.
Makeup only did so much for the scar on her face, but she’d grown accustomed to the sideways glances whenever she worked the counter of took the train. And it could be attributed to anything almost innocent. Car accident with smashed glass and her inability to shield her face in time. Or maybe just a fall, missing a step and grazing her cheek against a sharp corner. That flaw in her flesh was something that she increasingly found easier to live with.
The marks on her neck, on her back, were another matter altogether.
Even in the dimmest light, there was no question that these marks came from a whip. And such treatment was reserved for slaves. In twenty-first century terms, that meant only one thing. It was why she opted for turtlenecks and scarves at every chance. But there was no need to hide it, any of it from Ethan. He had seen and stroked her skin in all of its imperfections. And behind these walls, she had nothing to hide.
Returning to the closet, she pulled out a strapless blue sundress, something that she had purchased on a whim. As soon as she got the garment home, Julie knew that there would be no way to debut it without a buttoned cardigan over her chest. Even then it would look like she had something to hide, so she let the dress lie and almost forgot about it.
Until this night…
“Ethan?”
The table was already set for two as he turned to face her. Julie’s scars were on full display, but she made no effort to hide her injuries as she stepped closer to his side.
“Do I… do I look alright?” she asked.
He stayed silent as he ran his hands down her neck. As always, there was never any cruelty in his touch, and he smiled as he scanned her up and down.
“Of course you do,” he whispered. “You look just great to me, Juliet.”
He kissed her quickly and motioned towards the table.
“All your favorites,” he promised. “And not one slice of pepperoni in sight.”
“You’ve been talking to Danielle,” she teased.
“Where else would I have scored these?”
He presented her with roses dotted with baby’s breath, and she saw him stifle a sneeze as the scent passed between them.
“You didn’t pick these out all on your own,” she said.
“Had a little help,” he confessed. “But you like?”
Julie hugged the bouquet close to her breast.
“I love,” she said. “But let me save you some trouble.”
Fishing a vase from the cabinet, she filled he vessel with water and transferred the stems to the glass. The petals sparkled under the power of the candlelight, and Julie inhaled again. She pictured them walking hand-in-hand in through a forest without shadows, without predators bearing down on their heels. Not that she wanted to go back to any woods ever again. Looming buildings and pot-holed pavement seemed a safer place to be. But if she ever had to go back, it would be with him.
For him.
“There’s that,” Julie said as she smoothed her hands across her skirt. A light draft whirled around her bare arms and her bruised neck. Her first instinct was to snatch a blanket and cover up, but she fought the urge off and just fell into his arms as he kissed her brow.
“And you do look beautiful,” he insisted. “You hungry?”
The food beckoned from the table, but even as Julie’s stomach emitted a low grumble, she focused on the feel of his fingers on her arms and dared to touch his cheek.
“Yes, please,” she said. “But I… I want you first.”
Julie’s arms swirled around his back, and Ethan’s steps were slow as they moved towards the bedroom. He seemed ready to hold everything and anything that he had to be feeling at bay until they reached the edge of the mattress.
But suddenly Julie couldn’t wait another second.
“Ethan… please?”
They sank to the floor, and she lifted up her skirt. His body seemed to tense as she reached for his belt, but she brought her hand to his cheek and stared at him hard.
“I want you,” she muttered. “I know how you feel.”
“How is that?” he asked even as his lips dotted her cheeks.
“Like home,” Julie said. “Let me know what’s that’s like.”
He kissed her again and obliged with the unspooling of his belt. The ten
sion in his body made her sigh, but Julie took him in her hands and arched her body closer.
“I’m so happy right now, Ethan,” she said. “Do… do you think that you can make me even---?”
“I won’t go down without a fight.”
Slipping inside her, Julie sighed at his entry. It didn’t have to hurt. It could be kind and sweet and flood her veins with only good things. Letting him linger for a few seconds, sensing his desire for the thrust before he made another move, Julie pushed her fingers under his shirt and started to stroke his back as he finally melted inside her, around her.
“Like that,” she said. “More of that.”
Grasping hold of her hips, Ethan kept his eyes on hers as he plunged deeper. His rhythm was slow and smooth, and Julie savored his slight speed as he paused every few seconds to kiss her eyes and whispered into her ear.
“Tell me if I should stop,” he said. “Tell me if---”
“I never want you to stop, Ethan.”
At the sound of those words, he groaned and started taking her in earnest. Julie sank deeper into the floor as the world between the place where his body ended and hers began became next to impossible to navigate. Julie only knew that she wanted more of him inside her, and she grabbed his shoulders as she arched closer.
“Everything’s going to be alright now.”
“Juliet, you… you don’t even know…”
His voice caught in his throat as he released inside her, and Julie moaned into his neck as she pulled him closer and kissed his sleek hair.
“I do,” she said. “I know who you are.”
Ethan fell to her side, and as he stayed inside her, his hands traced the lines of her scars.
“Sometimes… sometimes I wish that I could take them away,” he confessed.
Julie started to pull away from him when she found his eyes and held her breath.
“And… and other times?” she asked.
Kissing her marks, her drew her close to his chest and sighed.
“Other times I’m just grateful that I get to have you this close,” he said. “I’d take you any way that I could find you.”
Her heart lightened at the sound of his words, and she kissed him softly before returning her head to his shoulder.
“I get that,” she said. “And I am with you.”
Wanting nothing more than to hang back in the space of his arms, Julie was unable to mask her surprise when Ethan pulled out and zipped up. Hating the fact that she was losing him, her heart lightened when he stood tall and extended his hand.
“Let me do this right,” he said. “For you.”
Julie allowed him to help her back to her feet, and she clung to his arm as he sat her at the table.
“Shrimp toast,” she said as her nostrils drank in the scent. “You remembered.”
“Nothing about you that I ever want to forget.”
She expected him to assume the seat before her and dig into the cartons when he suddenly sank to his knees and reached into his pocket.
“What are you doing now?” she asked. “Didn’t you work up an appetite?”
“I need to do this now, Juliet,” he insisted. “I… here.”
Pulling out a small velvet box, Julie found herself unable to breathe as he flipped open the lid and revealed a sharp diamond resting against a band of silver. Smaller cuts of what was certainly not glass dotted the ring the whole way around, and her eyes started to fill with tears as he brought the jewelry closer to her finger.
“I was going to wait until the trial was all over,” he started. “When you could be sure that you were safe.”
“Don’t,” she pleaded as she leaned forward and kissed every inch of his face. “I’m safe right now. I…”
“Truly?” he asked as his eyes darted in and out of hers.
“I… I could never be anything else with you.”
He curled his arms around her waist and offered the ring again.
“Then take this,” he started. “Say that you’ll be mine.”
Julie offered no objection as he slipped the ring across her finger and clasped her hand close.
“Is that a yes?” he asked. “Juliet?”
She nodded without words, and Ethan kissed her cheeks as he pushed her hand and the ring into the candlelight.
“Looks like it fits,” he said. “I’ve pictured it right here for days.”
“Days?” she asked. “Just how long have you been planning this?”
He sighed against her and tightened his hold.
“Maybe from the second I saw you.”
Those words brought them both back to a dark place, and Ethan was the first to shake it off as he clutched her chin.
“Not that I… I would never force you to anything, Juliet. I---”
“I know that, Ethan.”
Her lips were light against his, and she cradled his neck as she kissed him deeper. When their mouths parted, he was still smiling into her eyes, and Julie met his grin as she waited for him to speak.
“So tell me that you want it,” he said. “The ring and---”
“I want you, Ethan. Only you.”
They kissed again, and he pulled her closer to his chest. Julie’s fingers splayed across his shirt, and she kissed his neck as he eased her away from the chair.
“Surprise,” he said. “All I want is for you to be happy.”
“I am,” she assured him.
As he touched her scars, the marks seemed to melt away under the force of his eyes. Julie felt clean and healed in his arms, and when he moved to take her mouth again, Julie held him back and simply stared.
“And you know I love you, right?” he asked.
“I sort of figured as much. But it’s still nice to hear.”
“Then again,” he purred as he kissed her brow.
“I love you, Juliet.”
She nodded and brought him back to the couch.
“I’m so happy tonight,” she started. “Kim’s coming back. I have you…”
“All good things,” Ethan agreed. “Maybe she’ll even want to be there. For… when you know.”
Any and every time Julie allowed herself to picture a wedding, even in the dark days, she always imagined Kim standing up for her. And after tonight, it felt like one more dream that could still come true.
“I can’t wait to tell her,” Julie said.
Ethan moved to kiss her when she pressed her finger to his lips and smiled.
“So it’s not a secret?” she asked.
“Why would it have to be?”
His kiss was light as he sat her up and took hold of her face.
“Might not play at the trial…”
Some shadows still remained, but Ethan shook his head as he led her back to the table.
“Then we can stay home,” he said. “No reason that you have to face him again.”
More than tempted to take him up on his offer, she started to say yes when she knew that it would have to go down another way. When it came to pointing the finger at her stepfather, Julie was essential, and she couldn’t abandon Kim a second time.
“I have to face him,” she said sadly. “Kim’s doing it.”
“Juliet, just because she---”
“I know it’s not my fault,” she continued. “But I can’t leave her to do it alone. Not another time.”
Ethan started to tense, but then he pulled her closer, his eyes intense as he spoke.
“Do you blame me for leaving her behind?” he asked.
“I… I…”
In some parallel circumstance, she wished that he could have taken both of them on his backs and brought Kim home to Brian and her mother so much sooner. Not happening then; hadn’t happened now. But Julie pushed back the idea of what might have been and cradled him.
“I’m going to marry you, Ethan,” she said. “And Kim’s going to be happy.”
Seeming not to need another word, he kissed her and dragged her closer to his body. He felt ready to take her again, and
Julie quietly celebrated the fact that she was able to enjoy his nearness without fear. Her skirt was nearly back over her thighs when Ethan calmed the pulsing between her legs with a kind stroke.
“Okay,” he started. “So how about we get you fed?”
The aroma of the food was almost enough to make Julie forget her fears.
“Shrimp toast,” he said as he started opening the containers. “Know you like that.”
Julie clapped her hands together, but with the ring in its rightful place, it felt like a new sensation, and she gazed at the diamond again. Her eyes started to fill with tears, but Julie quickly brushed them aside and turned her attention back to her plate.
“Love it,” she said. “You’ll serve?”
“Only you, Juliet.”
As they sat down to eat, Julie spied a pair of chopsticks, and she decided to try her hand at it. Kim was a pro when it came to lifting a noodle to her lips without missing a beat. But maybe everything was changing for the better. Maybe she could do that much and more…
“Damn!”
Her fingers fumbled as soon as they started, and Ethan was quick to lay his hand across hers as he spoke softly.
“It’s okay,” Ethan said. “Here.”
Pushing a single slice between his fingers, Ethan fed her from the space of his hand, and he smiled as she bit down and swallowed.
“There we go,” he said. “Fiancée.”
The word brought a grin to her lips. Abandoning her plate, Julie moved to his lap and curled her arms around his neck as she peered into his eyes.
“Say that again,” he pleaded.
Ethan repeated the word as he moved his mouth to her ear.
“Wife,” he finally said.
The sound of that caused her to sit up straighter, but his eyes were calm as the word twirled around his tongue.
“You ready for the plunge?” he asked. “Ready to ink your life to an old man?”
He wasn’t so old that he couldn’t make her body buzz, and she started to move her hand down his chest. Touching him between his legs, she smiled at his hardness and sighed.
“No,” she said. “But you’re just fine.”
