I knew my mother said something in anger and distaste back to me, but I was too lost in Zach to care what it was. So lost, I didn't protest as he took my phone and tossed it behind him. I knew there would be a fall out from that phone call, yet being here in this moment, with all of my walls lying in ruin around us, I felt like I was living for the very first time.
The bell announced the opening of the front door, reminding us we really did have to leave the world we had created and go back to being responsible adults. With a final kiss, I rose from his lap. As if the phone call wasn't enough, the tiny girl who had caused so much heartache stood inside the door providing the perfect cap to the day. I looked to Jason who was now headed in her direction.
"What do you want?"
Living with my brother, I've had the opportunity to see him in many different situations. I've watched as he took on a bully who tried to shove him in gym class. Cheered for him as he broke the school running record for most yardage during the homecoming football game. Defied my father in denying his place at his firm. Now, I will witness him confront the woman who toyed with him, broke him down, and then had him believing her lies.
Hannah was a beautiful woman. Her family’s money and regular appointments with the country's top plastic surgeons had insured that. Her cold and evil heart was the only original part on her and she perfected it well. Her walk was rehearsed, calculated, and purposeful. She used whatever measures available to her to get where and what she wanted. For the longest time, she wanted my brother. Everything changed when he chose to open this shop, instead of the door to the corner office in our father's firm.
Zach moved from his chair as if he was going to intercede, but I knew Jason needed closure. He needed to show Hannah he had moved on and the hold she once held over him was broken, replaced with the love of a girl who deserved him. One who would make him happy no matter what his occupation. I placed my hand in the center of Zach's chest, instructing him to let it be, sit back and be a spectator this time.
"Is this anyway to address the woman you love?”
Etiquette ruled me to remain silent, “let the adults have a conversation, Kennedy.” Living in the moment, however, allowed me to snort, causing Zach to pull me into his chest, a protective cage he created with his arms wrapped around my middle.
Hannah had no inkling of the man who stood before her. A man who rose from disappointment and heartbreak, earning new battle scars and life lessons. The man Hannah had left cold and bleeding died, leaving a new and improved version that now stood proudly in his place. He was loved and respected by those he chose to surround himself with.
"The woman I love isn't in this room, unless you're referring to the love between a brother and sister. Although, everyone knows that isn't what you're referring to." Jason’s voice was calm as he turned his attention away from the she-devil standing before him, cleaning his station with pride and determination.
"Jassie, I was wrong."
Clearly she was wrong, in more ways than just creating a situation that caused Jason to break things off with her. My brother was never one quick to anger, a quality I wanted to find in the man I gave my heart to. But as the expression goes, everyone has their breaking point and by the look of Jason, she had pushed him to his.
"My name is Jason, not Jase or Jassie or any of the other ridiculous names you degraded me with while we were together." All those years of resentment came bubbling to the surface. Resentment for sitting back and letting her be cruel, for doing what our father asked of him, and dating her only to please our parents. He needed this, a cleansing of sorts. I prayed he and Zach kept something stiff to drink hidden around here somewhere as I suspected he would need it soon.
"Actually, your name is daddy."
The woman had no boundaries, no level she wouldn't stoop to. Our mother would have been proud at her antics. It wouldn't surprise me if she had paid a visit to the queen bitch first and got some pointers.
Jason's movements stopped, and I watched sadly as he eyes closed tightly. The feelings changed as I witnessed the smile that slowly took form on his hidden face. With grace and determination he shifted his body, closing the drawer he had been working from, purging himself of the negativity he had been forced to carry for so long.
"You expect me to believe you're pregnant?" There was no mistaking the amusement in his tone, or the anger in his stance. Even knowing I was in no danger from him, I pushed back into Zach’s body, seeking protection that was not warranted.
"The chances of that actually happening are a bigger miracle than Jesus himself walking in here and asking for a piercing. Especially since you haven't let me get my fucking dick near you in over a year." My eyes were wide with shock, my hand covering my mouth to keep me silent. "Only allowing me to pleasure you on occasion, and only when you felt that pussy of yours was, as you proclaimed, perfectly groomed." His anger was evident in not only his tone of voice, but by the redness covering his face. She had hurt him, made him to feel belittled and humiliated when he should have been loved and cherished.
"So you can take your snake oil and peddle it somewhere else, cause I'm not buying." Jason tossed the rag he had used to clean his area onto his empty chair. As he was walking away I noticed Savannah stood at the end of the hallway, her arms open wide and her face covered with a warm smile. I swear I saw him run to her, pick her up and disappear into the back alley. Hannah didn't linger in the shop or even acknowledge my presence. However, it didn't escape me the second she left the shop, her cell phone was pressed to her ear. There was no doubt in my mind who she was calling.
***
Caroline called me out of the blue one afternoon, feeding me some line about how important it was to spend time together as sisters. Zach was assisting his brother with a Monday night game, so I agreed to have dinner with her. She made reservations at one of the city's most exclusive restaurants. You had to be someone, or know someone, to even get a reservation. The interior was designed around old style dining. Plush benches lined the walls, with small tables situated against them and linen tablecloths created the illusion of elegance, yet the room was comfortable. So much so, I failed to look around taking in the design of it, but more importantly the fellow patrons. It was during my initial perusal, I noticed them. Sitting in a corner booth, their hands clasped tightly together, and looking as if they were the only two people in the room. My breath caught, alerting Caroline something wasn't right.
"Kennedy?" Her questioning, concerned tone did nothing to avert my attention.
"Is that...?" I didn't have to finish my question, we both knew who the couple was.
Seeing my father sitting at a table less than thirty feet from us, holding hands with a woman I recognized as Leeann Charles. I had been introduced to her during a charity event my mother chaired. Leeann didn't really fit the image my mother imagined for her worker bees. She had a brain and, much like myself, would, and could, think for herself. Leeann’s first husband, Thurston, died in a plane crash leaving her a substantial amount of money. She continued to support various events, so I had seen her several times. Just never with my father.
My mind started conjuring up different reasons for her to be in this restaurant with my father. Perhaps he was representing her as legal counsel or maybe my mother had sent him to get a donation for whatever event she was currently working on. All that flew out the window when I watched, in shock, as he leaned over the table, kissing her on the lips.
While my mother wasn't the most pleasant person in the world, she didn't deserve to be cheated on. They had been married for over twenty years, I just couldn't understand.
“Kennedy, you cannot be surprised.” Caroline reached for her wine glass, peering over the top at my shocked face.
“Forgive me for assuming our parents would stay within the confines of their marriage.” Tossing my napkin over my empty plate, I could feel the anger raising my blood pressure.
“Women of our social status understand the needs of men as powerful a
s ours will never be satisfied by a single woman. It is understood we are to turn our heads when we see something unpleasant.”
“Turn a blind eye, you mean? Give him permission to have a girl on the side, so long as the money keeps rolling in.”
“Yes, and if something catches your eye that is pleasing to you, all the better.” Her coy smile gave me all I needed to understand she had cheated on Richard.
“So let me get this straight, you pretend to have a headache so Richard can go off and shove his dick in one of your friends. Or perhaps you invite all of them over and crawl under the table to suck each other’s husbands off. Taking turns as if it is a goddamn carpool.” I want her to be as angry as I am, to see for herself how ridiculous she sounds by her admission.
“Don't you judge me, Kennedy. You have no idea what it is like to marry a man because of where he can take you. You can’t imagine sleeping beside a man who has no clue how to please you sexually. Look around this room, Kennedy. Half the women here find letting their husbands do as they please a small price to pay for living as we do.”
“Then buy a fucking porno and a vibrator. Or better yet, show him how to make you scream his name, not hand him off to your girlfriend so she can babysit him while you diddle the pool boy. You will have to forgive me, my small minded need to have my husband love me, taking joy in fucking me until I lose consciousness.”
“Then you had better get comfortable being alone. There isn’t a man out there who can be everything you need.” Having heard enough of her justifying her actions, I tossed some money on the table, pushed away and left. Outside, I waved down the first cab to come in my direction. It was late, nearly midnight, as I stood on the wooden front porch of the home Zach had purchased. I knew Zach would be asleep, but I didn't care.
I could hear the sounds of the doorbell chiming inside the house. With my fist pounding on the wooden door, I begged him to come and open the door, to rescue me from the nightmare that had unfolded inside the restaurant. I could hear the sounds of his feet descend the stairs, getting closer to the place where I needed him. The light above the door illuminated as the locks on the door clicked open. The opening door gave my body permission to break down. Zach stood in the dark house, shirtless, with only a pair of gray basketball shorts on. His sexiness was lost on me as the tears started to fall, making my body rock with emotion.
"Baby?" Zach pulled me to his chest, slamming the door behind us. He didn't ask me any questions as he picked me up and carried me into his kitchen, the hum of the refrigerator's motor the only noise in the room. He placed me on the counter wrapping me tightly in his arms without a millimeter of space between our bodies. Clasping my arms around his midsection, my hands came in contact with the gun he had tucked in his waistband. He had never hid the fact he owns a gun. Given his former job, it is to be expected
"Are these tears a result of something I did?" His usual commanding voice was raspy, no doubt from his disturbed sleep. I shake my head against his chest as he rubs my back gently. As cliché as it sounds, he allows me to cry myself out. He never moved or tried to get me to talk, held me as my body shook with my sadness. When the last hiccup escaped me, he let go long enough to pull a glass from his cabinet, fill it with an amber liquid and instruct me to sip it.
Zach continued to touch me in a way letting me know he was waiting until I was ready to speak. With the glass half empty, I looked up at him and told him what I had witnessed. Taking the glass from my hands, Zach leaned back against the counter on the opposite side of the room. His right hand scratching at his chin.
"Kennedy, I can see how that would upset you. I can't imagine my father stepping outside of his marriage. Zane either, for that matter." I could tell by the way his words came out, a but was about to be delivered. "Please understand, I'm one hundred percent on your side in this, but—" I took a deep breath and wondered if he knew something I didn't? Maybe he had heard something from his parents about mine and hadn't had an opportunity to tell me.
"Your parents' marriage really isn't your business. Don't get me wrong, I know this hurts like hell, but your father is a grown man. If he wants to have an affair, it's between him and your mother."
As much as I wanted to argue, he was right. The relationship my dad had with my mother wasn't really my business. "You're right, I just don't understand. I mean, my mother is no saint, but no one deserves to be cheated on. Caroline said this was something I would have to do. I would have to turn a blind eye to my husband’s infidelities." Zach shifted his position resting both elbows behind him on the countertop.
"I agree with you, Sweetheart. I can assure you I would never be able to do that to you, nor will I ever expect you to act like your sister. But do you know for certain they are having an affair? I mean, there could be a valid reason for his actions." I loved this about Zach. He was rational and able to look at this from a multitude of angles.
"Somehow, I don't think so. The way he touched her was too—"
"Intimate?" He finished for me. I nodded in agreement.
"Well, there is nothing you can do about this tonight. It's late and maybe, just maybe, things will look better in the light of day."
Zach suggested I stay with him. Agreeing, I sent a text message to Jason letting him know I wouldn't be home. There was nothing sexual about lying beside Zach. I didn't even bother asking to borrow clothes as I kicked my shoes off and crawled under the covers. Zach asked me in a whisper if I wanted to be left alone or if he could hold me. Holding out my hand to him, he took my fingers and laced his through mine. It was enough for me to lay beside him, knowing he was available to me if I needed him, but far enough away I could be alone with my thoughts.
As the sun began to illuminate the sky the next morning, I walked downstairs grabbing my phone and sent my father a text informing him I would be at his office first thing this morning.
***
When I was a little girl, dad would bring me to his office on the days mom would go have her hair done. I would crawl into his chair, pretending to be just like him. Somehow the more successful my father became, the less like him I wanted to be. John Forrester dealt with personal property law, wills, estate planning and the like. He once told me he loved working for the District Attorney's office after graduating law school. Telling me how he worked with people who depended on him, saw people at their lowest and gave his all to help them.
I pushed open the door and came face to face with the man who gave me guidelines on what kind of man I should allow in my life. However, with recent events, those guidelines needed to be re-evaluated.
Ignoring my deep-set manners, I walked around the room before taking a seat on the couch without waiting for an invitation. Dad's face told me he was surprised to see me and my boldness made him uneasy.
"I didn't expect to see you this early."
Leaning forward in my seat, I felt the need to purge myself of these feelings of hurt and betrayal. I needed to tell him what a jerk I thought he was being.
"I saw you last night,” I began. “With Leeann."
Brown eyes that matched mine stared at me from across the desk. There was silver decorating the hair near his ears, and his face, always freshly shaven even on the weekends, suddenly looked older to me. I believed, my entire life, my father had the answer to every question. Now, as we sit staring at each other with the minutes ticking by, there are no answers, no pearls of advice, not even a go ask your mother.
He removed his glasses, tossing them to the center of his desk, his paperwork long forgotten. "Kennedy, do you have any idea what it’s like to live with someone who hates you?"
I’d always assumed my parents were on the same team, both having the same agenda and goals in life.
“Being tied to a woman who married you because your name was the same as her obsession? Being compared everyday of your life to a man who has been dead and buried longer than she has been alive? Someone who fashions her world around a woman she never met, even naming her children after th
is obsession?” It was true; Claudia Forrester possessed an unhealthy obsession with Jackie Kennedy Onassis. When Caroline was born, she had slapped the name on the birth certificate before my father could hold his daughter. When I came along, she told him from the second the pink line appeared, my name, regardless of gender, would be Kennedy.
"Then why do you stay, Dad?" I could have answered him with a simple yes or no, but I honestly didn't want to admit I knew my mother didn't care for me, as a mother should.
"Leeann asks me the same thing, telling me I should put my happiness first. “This was the father I remembered from my childhood, the one who laughs, smiles, and tells the occasional joke.
"She doesn't push me to do anything I don't want to do, to be something I'm not. She also doesn't give a shit about how much money I have or how many properties I own. Just being in her company is enough." His eyes were downcast, his fingers busy with the edge of his desk.
"Again, Dad, why do you stay?"
His eyes flashed to mine, the truth shining brightly. Good or bad, it's there and I want to hear what he has to say, what he has been hiding from us. "Honestly, I didn't want to see the disappointment in your eyes when your mother made our business your business. I guess my carousing did just that, making you see me in a negative light."
I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. I worked my whole life to keep my parents from ever being disappointed in me. "Daddy, I'm not here to judge you. Hell, I know firsthand how hard it can be to live with mom, but no one deserves this." My eyes were pleading with him and praying he didn’t shut me down. "If being with Leeann is making you as happy as you claim, then why not just be honest with her and, more importantly, yourself. Be the man I know you can be. Be the man I have compared other men to my entire life."
Signed, SEALed, Delivered (Trident Brotherhood Book 1) Page 14
