Joel paused in the middle of pulling on a light short sleeved shirt, his head about to disappear underneath the cotton. He gave her a weird look and then pulled it on. By the time his head had emerged again, his face had darkened a bit.
"Amber, I thought you understood, I don't have money to pay for a place. After I paid you back for the tournament, and the fact that I haven't fought in a couple of weeks, my savings-"
"I told you that entry fee was a gift, I didn't want you to pay me back unless you won."
"And I told you I don't like being in debt to people."
"Whatever. Look, I'm not asking you to pay for rent. I'm just saying that you might as well move in-"
"Which would put me right back into debt to you!" he said, his voice raising in frustration.
"So what? What's the difference anyway? You've been here every night since the tournament and you're not paying me now."
His eyes flashed in anger. "You're right. You're absolutely right. I should pay you for the time I've spent here."
"That's not what I'm saying," she said, shaking her head. He could be such a hot head, especially around money and debt. It frustrated her.
"No, that's what I'm saying. I've been freeloading and it's time it stopped. That's one lesson I learned from Darryl and Linda, at least. There ain't nothing in this life that's yours that you haven't paid for. I'll go back to the shelter tonight after training." Amber always thought it was sad that he referred to his parents by their first names on the rare occasion that he brought them up. Fully dressed now, Joel pushed past her and left the bedroom. Amber grabbed her own shirt and pulled it on as she followed after him.
"Joel, don't be an idiot."
He stood by the door, pulling on his shoes and not looking up at her. She could see he was fuming.
"This is silly. I don't want your money, I just want you. I can pay for the rent. I've been doing that since I started living on my own."
"Well congratulations on being so together with your life," he spat. "Not everyone got such a positive head start in life." He stood up and spun around without looking at her, yanking the door open.
"Joel, wait! Don't leave like this. Come back after training and let's talk."
"I have nothing more to say." With that he stepped out into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind him with a bang.
Amber let out a shuddering breath, her eyes starting to sting a bit. What the fuck was that all about?
Joel
Joel stomped through the city towards the YMCA, his shirt already wet with sweat. He had originally planned on taking a bus, but after the fight with Amber he decided to walk off his frustrations. He had plenty of time before he needed to be at Rock House anyway.
He kicked a loose piece of concrete hard, sending it skittering into the road. An oncoming car swerved to miss it and honked at him angrily. He threw up his middle finger and kept walking. The one feeling he hated more than any other was that he owed someone something. His parents had kicked him out with only the clothes on his back, and from then on he learned to rely only on himself. If you rely on other people for things, you're in for disappointment.
He owed Amber more than anyone. She was the one that helped him that night he was injured. She was the one that found the tournament and sought him out to convince him to try it. She was the one that paid for his membership - although at least he had been able to pay her back for that. There wasn't a lot he could do about the others; it was harder to pay back gestures.
But she was right. He was basically living with her rent free, which was just racking up his debt to her. The fact that they were... what? Seeing each other? Boyfriend and girlfriend? They had never defined it - but anyway, it didn't matter. It was still freeloading and it had to stop. Unfortunately, he was just about broke. Paying her back the $300 to join Golden Dragon had taken most of his savings, and he had used the rest to buy some of the training equipment that Shawn had told him he would need before starting at Rock House.
The equipment was what he needed from his locker. He hadn't brought it back to the apartment because he didn't want Amber to ask questions about it. He knew she would offer to pay for them or something, which would have just ended them up in the same fight they just had. The whole argument was unavoidable, with no money it was bound to come up sometime.
He could see the YMCA in the distance now, it would only be another 20 minutes or so before he got there. He considered having another quick shower to clean off the sweat and then change into another shirt, but there was no point. He'd just get sweaty again once he started training.
Was this relationship with Amber really going to work? They were so different. She may live in a crappy apartment, but at least it was a stable roof over her head and her own bed at night. And at the end of the day, if things went bad she could always go back home to her parents. She had a safety net, and she couldn't comprehend what life was like without one.
And yet, he wanted things to work. Even though deep down he knew he didn't deserve someone like Amber, not by a long shot, he still wanted her. She was kind hearted. More so than anyone he'd ever met. And when she turned that kindness towards him, it made the bleakness of his existence just a little bit brighter.
It didn't hurt that she also gorgeous. Especially naked. A smile crept across his face as he pictured her. It had been a long time since a girl had offered herself to him the way Amber did - exposed and vulnerable. Even in bed she was giving, always putting his pleasure above her own.
It made him feel guilty sometimes, adding to an internal debt tally that just grew and grew with no hope that he could ever repay it. Adding money to that list as well, something he could repay if he was more successful, just made him feel even worse. Maybe if life had given him a few more breaks instead of just constantly finding new ways to remind him of his failures.
That was what had made him so angry at the apartment. He hadn't even considered the fact that he was freeloading, living with her this past week while she continued to pay the rent, the bills, even buy all the food. She may not have been accusing him of it, but bringing it up made him realize he was just digging himself in deeper with her, and he really had no plan to even things out.
Shawn Rock had offered to train him, but that wasn't going to earn Joel any money. And even if he could find a job, there was no time for it now since he'd be training during the days and needing his sleep at night. There was only one thing he was qualified to do anyway. Joel squeezed his fists.
He'd promised Amber that now that he was going to train at Rock House he would give up fighting at nights. But if he did, he'd have no money at all. Yet he really did want to live with her - he just wasn't willing to do it for free. He needed to pay his own way. If he couldn't, then he didn't see a lot of hope for a future between them.
Surely breaking that promise was better than breaking their relationship. That rationalization solidified the decision in his mind, although he knew he had to keep it to himself, at least for now.
First thing he had to do was track down Randy, the organizer of the underground fight club. He had an idea of how to do that, but it would have to wait until after today's training session.
Amber
Amber spent most of the rest of the morning angry and confused. How did a morning that started off with a sexy shower end up in a fight like that? It had all happened so fast, she was confused about what exactly it was even about. Joel was quick to anger, she knew that about him, but she thought they had been getting to a good place and he was really starting to trust her. Now he was painting her as a gold digger looking to dip her hands into his pockets. That wasn't what she meant at all.
She had been paying rent on this place on her own for almost two years, she didn't need him to chip in. Sure, it would help in the sense that then she could save for an even better place, with him, but that wasn't even her goal. It had really just been an innocent suggestion. Why did he fly off the handle like that?
What burned her the m
ost was his comment about her "head start". She bit her lip in frustration. What did he know about her home life, anyway? He never once asked about it, and she knew better than to dare and ask about his. Her parents didn't give her anything to help with this place, if that's what he meant. They hated that she lived here, but it wasn't like they ever offered to help her find anything else. They lived in their own little bubble, making comments about everyone else's life and affairs without ever lifting a finger to change anything. Full of advice and no action.
Still, Amber had a feeling she did know what Joel was talking about. She had suspicions that Joel's home life was pretty bad. One didn't end up living in shelters and fighting for a living after growing up in a happy and positive environment. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like, but she hoped one day he would open up and tell her. For now she would leave it alone. He had mentioned once that the shitty apartment she lived in was at least in a better neighborhood than where he came from. When he told her where that was, she had to agree - he grew up in the worst part of town.
But other than a rough idea of where he had grown up, the only other thing she ever really got out of him was that his parents were gone now, although she wasn't even sure how long ago they had died. If it was relatively recent, then that could be part of his touchiness. Joel had told her he'd been on his own and in shelters for the last few years, though, so it couldn't have been that recent. It was sad that he ended up on the streets after they died. She couldn't imagine not having anyone else he could have turned to in all this time. Then again, she had no idea how much of that was his choice.
What frustrated her the most was that if she just understood more about his past, and it was really as bad as she supposed, then it would go a long way toward excusing his current behavior. But since she was in the dark, she wasn't sure how mad she should be at him.
Was he acting unreasonably and just being a jerk? Or was there a very good reason he was so touchy about things like money, debt and his family. She was his girlfriend, for god sakes. Wait, was she? They never really had a conversation about it. She wanted to bring it up a few times, but she was always concerned about how he would react. The truth was, she wasn't sure at all what he felt about their relationship.
She resolved to bring it up the next time she saw him, whenever that was. He was already pissed off at her anyway, she may as well get this subject out there as well and deal with it all at once. It would help to know where she stood. After all, if he was just thinking about her as a fun little diversion, or a place to sleep where he didn't have to worry about getting robbed in the night, then it was better to end it now anyway. But she hoped she was more than that. A lot more.
According to the clock next to her bed, Joel's training should just be starting. Neither of them had any idea how long it would go, but now it sounded like he wasn't even planning on returning when it was finished.
Fuck him. She had to work tonight anyway. Friday night was a big tip night, and the money was always needed. Still, tips often reflected the frame of mind she was in, which meant that by the end of the night she might actually owe somebody money. Guys typically wanted their hot bartender to be perky and friendly and flirt with them. If any of them so much as made a comment about her mood tonight, though, they'd be lucky not to end up with a drink in their face.
She needed a distraction. Someone or something to take her mind off of Joel for the night. Her mind immediately went to her gay bar-back, Simon. He was always asking her to go to an after-hours place to get shit faced once their night ended, but she was usually too tired. But she had no reason to run home tonight, or to get up early tomorrow morning. Better to sleep away a hangover than deal with obsessive thoughts about where Joel was and whether he was still mad at her.
Amber got back into bed and pulled her sheet up to her chin, despite the heat in the apartment. If she was going to go out late tonight, she could use a nap. She was up too early this morning, giving out surprise shower blow jobs. Look how well that turned out. She closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to lull her back into unconsciousness. At least then she could stop thinking about Joel and the oversized chip on his shoulder.
Joel
Joel showed up about 20 minutes early to Rock House, carrying his workout and sparring gear in an old knapsack slung over one shoulder. He was impressed as soon as the building was in sight.
Rock House was a massive structure. It looked to be a converted warehouse, with the outside painted a dark and textured gray that he assumed was supposed to make it look like stone. In front of it was a huge sign on a pole at least 50 feet in the air. Rock House Training Center - Mixed Martial Arts.
Joel pushed past the big double doors and was immediately hit by the familiar smell of sweat and heavy, wet air. He breathed it in deeply, finding it strangely comforting and hoping it would help him relax a bit and shake off the fatigue and overall grumpiness that he was still feeling after his restless night and early argument.
Inside was just as impressive as outside. The place was huge, made up for the most part of a vast open area with simple thin mats along the floor. At the back, he could see a full size MMA style octagon cage, as well as a regular wrestling ring next to it. On the opposite end, there was work out equipment. Mostly free weights, but a few bikes for cardio as well. Draped along one of the walls was an immense American flag.
It was also immediately clear that not everyone was told to start at nine. There were at least fifteen guys in the place. Some of them had obviously just gotten there and were standing around talking, but others were already working out. A couple were sparring on the mat, some others were using the equipment and one was pounding on one of the many heavy bags that hung along the perimeter of the big open space.
His eyes were wide as he scanned the room, still taken aback by how immense it was. He wondered how much a place like this would cost to train at if he had to pay. Certainly more than he could ever afford. He gritted his teeth as it reminded him of how much he really owed to Amber that you couldn't really put a price on. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be here. He was a fool for taking out his frustrations on her this morning. That was definitely no way to start repaying his debt.
"Joel!"
He turned to see Shawn Rock walking toward him. The big MMA former champion grasped his hand and shook it firmly in greeting. "Good to see you. How's the head?"
Joel instinctively lifted his hand up to reach around and touch the injury which had now healed over pretty well. Shawn had sent the team doctor over to Amber's place the night after the tournament and he had confirmed it was a concussion, albeit a very minor one. He had been more concerned about the cut at the back of his head, putting in five stitches to close it up, telling him to wait ten to twelve days to fight again. Joel had pushed to start as soon as he could. Today was the earliest he was cleared. "Great," he said.
"Cool, cool. Okay, well let's introduce you to a few people and then get you started." Shawn motioned with his head for Joel to follow and he walked over to the group of men that weren't training yet. There were four of them standing together and talking. They stopped as the two men approached. A couple of them nodded at Shawn. One of them looked at Joel as if he'd just bitten into a lemon.
"Boys, this is Joel Slater, the guy I was telling you about that shoulda won that Golden Dragon tournament. Lucky for us he didn't and we stole him away from Tiger Strike. He has a keen eye for weaknesses in his opponents, so watch out what you show him." Shawn laughed, as did a couple of others. Sour mouth just glared at Joel.
"Anyway, this here is Chris Leeman," Shawn patted a broad shouldered man who had short, curly blond hair that was streaked with red dye. Chris reached forward and shook Joel's hand.
"Kingston West," Shawn said, putting his hand on the shoulder of a large black man. He was even taller than Joel by at least 2 inches, and had muscles of midnight stretching his tight white T-shirt. He smiled without showing any teeth, giving a little nod in Joel's direction.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi."
"And finally, Blake Edwards." Sour puss took a quick look at Shawn and then nodded at Joel, but as soon as Shawn turned away his face curled back into a sneer. Blake looked to be about Joel's height, but thicker. He was bald, with tattoos running up and down both of his arms, likely extending to the rest of his upper body as well but they were obscured by his shirt.
"I've asked these guys to come in today to help show you the ropes around here, they're all part of my core group that I have the highest hopes for in terms of making it all the way. Don't be surprised if you see any of these guys fighting on TV pretty soon. Hell, you'll probably see all of them eventually. It's somewhere I think you can get to as well, Joel." Shawn started to walk. "Come on, let me show you the locker room."
The two men left the group of fighters and walked to a set of doors near the back. Shawn opened one up and motioned Joel through, following after him. The locker room was fairly small, but it still held about 50 lockers. Attached was a washroom and a few shower stalls.
Unbroken (Fighter MMA Romance) Page 2
