by A. T Brennan
“God, Jenna,” he groaned and pulled away so he could look at her.
She could feel him pressing against her hip, and she couldn’t help wiggling against him slightly.
“Fuck, Jen.” He looked down at her, lust and desire shining in his eyes. “I want you.”
“I want you too,” she almost gasped as she nodded to him.
With a grunt he pulled her into the bedroom and right up against the side of the bed as he reached for the waistband of her pants. They were already undone, and he slipped his hand down the front of her panties, but her jeans were so tight he wasn’t able to reach her.
He helped her lie down on the bed and knelt next to her. He grabbed her jeans and started to tug them down. It took a lot of shifting and maneuvering, but he managed to peel them off before tossing them aside.
He gripped the hem of her shirt and started to tug it up, and she moved so he could pull it off. Still kneeling beside her, he pulled his own shirt off by the back of the collar and looked down at her.
She just bit her lip and swallowed as he ran his gaze over her body. The last time they’d been together was the first and only time she’d been in this position, and she hadn’t been this naked the last time.
His gaze didn’t make her uncomfortable. She could see heat and desire in his eyes, and that bolstered her confidence.
After a moment he draped his body over hers, pressing her down into the mattress as he kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around him and hooked one leg around his, trying to pull him even closer. She could feel his erection against her abdomen. Even though she wanted him more than anything, she was a little afraid.
The last time had really hurt, and she didn’t know if this time would be the same. She hadn’t been with anyone else, so she didn’t know if she would be able to take all of him without pain.
“Jenna?” He pulled away and held himself over her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly.
“What is it?” He looked at her closely. “Do you not want to—”
“No, I do.” She shook her head. “I just don’t have a lot of experience.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s been a while for me. I’m scared it will hurt.”
“I’ll be gentle with you,” he promised as he gave her a sweet and tender kiss. “I’ll take care of you, Jenna.”
She gave him a small smile and nodded as he bent his head to kiss her again. She wasn’t worried about him hurting her on purpose; she was worried he would be too big for her.
Still kissing her, he shifted so he was pinning down half her body and started to run one hand over her skin. He started at her shoulder and slowly moved it across her chest, pausing to cup her breast for a moment, and then started to slide it down her body, across her stomach, and over her panties.
She gasped as he rubbed against her, teasing her over the cotton of her underwear. She spread her legs for him, silently telling him she wanted more.
He slipped his hand under the waistband of her panties and ran his fingers over her slowly, gently teasing her and giving her a chance to get used to the sensations. After a moment he started to push his finger inside her, and she cried out against his kiss.
He pulled his lips from hers and pressed his forehead against hers as he moved his finger in and out of her, starting slowly but quickly gaining speed as he continued.
“Oh yes,” she gasped as she arched into him slightly.
“Does that feel good?” he asked as he slipped his free hand under her and pulled her closer to him.
“Yes. Yes, that feels good.” She nodded and squeezed her eyes closed as she enjoyed every sensation.
After a moment he slipped a second finger inside her, and she cried out as her body stretched to accommodate him. He was being gentle enough it didn’t hurt, and it felt wonderful.
She felt her body tightening and gripped his strong arms in her hands as she tried to release some of the pressure that was building inside her.
“God, you’re so fucking hot right now, Jen,” he said, his voice husky and low, and the timbre of it sent a shiver up her spine.
“Yes. Oh God yes!” She cried out when he pulled his fingers out of her and then started to tease her again. He was moving over her in tight and fast circles, but his touch was feather-light and it was exactly how she liked.
“Are you going to come?” he asked as he stared down at her.
“Yes, oh God, yes.” She nodded as she looked up at him. Her legs started to shake as the pressure and pleasure inside her kept building. She was so close, she was right on the border between when the pleasure was at its highest and when it crested, and it was incredible.
“Oh yes!” she almost screamed as the pleasure broke inside her, and she was nearly overwhelmed as her orgasm hit her, hard.
She clung to him as she cried out, shaking and writhing under him as he wrapped his arms around her and held her, giving her a moment to recover and enjoy the afterglow.
“Oh, Clay,” she sighed as she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He looked so handsome and strong above her, and she could only smile as he grinned down at her.
He gave her a quick kiss and shifted so he could reach into the night table. She heard him rummage around and a moment later he pulled out a condom.
She watched as he ripped the package open with his teeth and then sat up. He stripped off his sweatpants, a little awkwardly, and when he was nude he took a moment to roll the condom on.
She wasn’t afraid anymore, and he was glorious. The last time they’d been together she hadn’t really gotten a chance to see his body. Now he was on the bed with her, nude and proud and perfect. Every inch of him was strong and lean and incredible, and she just took a moment to admire him.
He gave her a smile as he started to pull down her panties, and she lifted her hips to make it easier for him.
He settled between her legs and held himself over her.
“Put me where I need to be,” he said softly. “Tell me when you’re ready.”
She nodded and reached between them. She grasped his hard shaft and slid him down so he was pressing right against her opening.
“There.” She let go of him and looked into his eyes. “I’m ready.”
He nodded and gave her a quick kiss as he started to push into her.
“Oh!” she gasped as he started to fill her.
“Jenn—” he started as he paused.
“It’s okay. Don’t stop.” She shook her head and looked up at him. “It feels good—just go slow.”
He nodded and started to move again.
This time it didn’t hurt at all. She felt her body stretching, and she felt very full when he was completely inside her, but there was no pain.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
She could hear the strain in his voice and see it on his face. He was having a hard time holding back.
“It’s good,” she assured him. “Please,” she added when he just looked at her.
With a nod he started to move inside her. He wasn’t going hard, but there was some power behind his thrusts, and his pace became erratic very fast.
She wrapped her legs and arms around him and clung to him. The feeling of fullness was gone, and it had been replaced with a strange pleasure. She’d never felt it before, but the more he moved the better it felt. She couldn’t stop the gasps and moans from escaping her lips as she gave in to it.
“Fuck, Jenna,” he groaned in her ear as he held her close.
“Yes! Clay!” she cried out as she buried her face in his shoulder. “Oh yes.”
A moment later he grunted into her hair as he jerked against her. She just held him as he enjoyed his orgasm, and she reveled in the feeling of having him over and inside her.
After a very long time he pulled out of her and rolled so he was lying on the bed, pulling her with him so she was cuddled up against his side.
&nb
sp; She snuggled into his strong chest as his arm tightened around her, and she couldn’t help but smile.
That had been incredible. It hadn’t hurt at all. There had been pleasure, and she’d felt connected to him. Her body was still tingling, and she felt satisfied and happy.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked after a drawn-out silence.
“Not at all.” She shook her head and looked up at him. “It felt good.”
He gave her a smile and kissed the crown of her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She had no idea what he could possibly be sorry for.
“I was fast—”
“It was wonderful, all of it,” she cut him off with a smile, shaking her head as she did. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
He smiled at her and pulled her up on his body slightly, so she was nestled against his shoulder, and she sighed.
This part felt wonderful. She’d never really cuddled with anyone before, and the physical closeness was incredible. She felt safe and protected and cherished. It was night and day from their first time.
He didn’t seem all that inclined for her to move, and she wasn’t in any hurry. A part of her worried she was overstaying her welcome, and he just didn’t know how to tell her to leave, but he seemed happy to lie there with her.
After a long break she knew she had to get up. She was still a little hung over, and she was getting sleepy. She had to get up and get moving, otherwise she would fall asleep.
She expected things to be awkward as they got up and pulled on their clothes. She thought things would be weird as he walked her to the door, pausing so she could pull her coat and shoes on and collect her purse. She expected it to be uncomfortable and forced as they stood at the door, but he’d just given her a smile, a very sweet but still very deep kiss, and opened the door for her.
They didn’t say a word as she smiled and headed out the door, and she kept on smiling all the way out of the building and to the corner.
It was then she realized she had no idea where he lived, but when she saw the intersection she was surprised. It was only a twenty-minute walk to her parent’s house.
Instead of bothering with a cab she just stuck her hands in her pockets and started to head toward her house. She could use the walk and the time to process everything that had just happened.
* * * *
As Clay closed the door, he just shook his head and grinned. That had been incredible.
When he’d brought Jenna home he’d never even considered having sex with her, mostly because he’d been sure she wouldn’t ever want him to touch her again.
He hadn’t set out to sleep with her when he’d kissed her. He knew one of the reasons they’d both wanted to was in part because of their loneliness, but at that moment he didn’t care.
He was happy and satisfied, and he’d felt something with her.
Sex for him had always been sex. It had been about physical pleasure and the act itself, but with Jenna it had been different. The pleasure had certainly been there, but there had been something more.
He’d felt connected to her, and there was something about the way she’d looked at him, the trust he’d seen in her eyes and the way she’d given herself over to him.
She’d told him she wasn’t very experienced, and he’d been able to tell it had been a while for her. She’d been incredibly tight, and he’d worried about hurting her again, but she’d told him it hadn’t, and he was inclined to believe her.
He didn’t know what it meant, if anything, but he also knew it didn’t matter. She was going back to school tomorrow morning and he’d probably never see her again, but maybe they could meet up again in the summer, if she came home.
It might be the end of right now, but maybe it didn’t have to be the end for them.
Shaking his head, he knocked himself out of his musings and headed into the bathroom to take a shower and clean up. There was no point in thinking about the future. Right now he wanted to think about what had just happened in his bedroom.
Chapter 8
The Truth
JENNA stared at the clock next to her bed and sighed. It was almost ten, and she’d been feeling terrible since she’d come home.
She didn’t know if it was her guilty conscience or the fact that she’d never told anyone what had happened after they’d had sex the first time, but it was eating her alive and she had to tell him.
It would be better if she kept her mouth closed. It would be better if she just swallowed her pain and her guilt and let him go on with his life, but she had to talk to someone about it. If she didn’t she would go crazy and the guilt would overwhelm her.
After another moment of indecision, she stood up and grabbed her coat and her purse. She didn’t have his number to call and see if he was home, so she would have to take a chance.
“Mom?” she called out as she headed down the stairs. “Mom?”
“Yes, sweetie?” her mom called out from the kitchen.
“Can I use the car for a little bit? I just need to go out for a second.”
“Sure, keys are on the table.”
“Thanks.”
She grabbed the keys off the table by the door and hurried out to the car.
The drive was quick, and after circling the parking lot she found the visitor’s parking around the back of the building.
She looked at the back door and closed her eyes for a moment. She should just go home and forget about talking to him, but she couldn’t. She had to do this, and she had to do it now.
Ever since her miscarriage she’d been wracked with guilt. She felt as though it was somehow her fault. She’d taken her vitamins and she’d done what every resource had told her to do, but she’d been so stressed out she knew it had to have affected the baby.
If she’d just told him right away, if she’d just told her parents right away instead of hiding it and holding everything inside, maybe she wouldn’t have lost it. It had been nearly a year and a half, but she still couldn’t put the guilt behind her. She knew it was one of the reasons she was struggling.
School was hard and life was stressful, but the pain and the confusion surrounding that event was still affecting her, and it was making things harder. She had to tell him, even if it was only for her mental health and sanity.
Taking a deep breath, she climbed out of the car and headed to the front of the building. It didn’t take her long to find his name on the line of call ringers, and after counting to five she pushed it.
“Hello?”
“Clay?”
“Yes?”
“It’s Jenna.”
“Jenna?”
“Can we talk?”
“Yeah. Sure, come up.”
She heard the buzzer ring and pulled on the security door. It was too late to back out now.
* * * *
He had no idea why Jenna would be at his door at this hour, but he was curious. Did she want another tryst? Did she want to talk about a future? Did she want to tell him it was a mistake and he should forget about her?
A dozen more scenarios raced through his head as he went to unlock the door and wait for her to knock. Speculating wouldn’t do anything and she would be there in a matter of moments.
He was just wondering if he should put a shirt on when there was a knock at the door.
“Jenna?”
She looked unsettled. It was the only way he could describe her. She was nervous, and as she looked him up and down she seemed surprised to find him shirtless.
He stepped aside and nodded for her to come in, and after a slight hesitation she did.
“Am I interrupting something?”
“No, I was just reading. You want to come in, sit down?”
“Thanks.”
He led her into the living room and sat down on one edge of the couch, watching as she perched on the edge of the chair in the corner of the room. She didn’t take her coat off, and she looked scared
.
“What’s going on?”
“We need to talk about something.” She looked away from him, and he could see her shaking slightly.
“You want me to put a shirt on?” he asked, unsure if his lack of clothing was making her nervous. Considering they’d had sex less than twelve hours ago, it seemed a little silly for her to be so uncomfortable with his bare chest, but if it would calm her down he’d put on a shirt.
“No, it’s not that.” She shook her head.
“Is it this afternoon? Are you regretting it—”
“No, it’s not that either.”
“What is it, then?” He leaned back on the cushion and stared at her.
“It’s about the night of the party.”
“What about it?” he asked, desperately trying to keep his voice even as he looked at her.
“We have to talk about what happened.”
How could she have known?
He’d been keeping the secret from her all this time, and by her look she’d figured it out. He knew he shouldn’t have lied to her. He should have told her the truth right away. He never should have done it in the first place, but he’d been scared and stupid and young. He hadn’t wanted to admit the truth because he’d been afraid of how she’d react.
“Clay, that night of the party, when the condom broke—”
“I’m so sorry, Jenna, I should have told you then,” he cut her off. He needed to explain before she rightfully ripped him apart.
“What?”
“I’m so sorry. I never should have kept going like I did—”
“Wait, what?” She stared at him.
“What?”
“What do you mean, you shouldn’t have kept going?”
She didn’t know. She didn’t know the truth. She’d come to talk about something else. His mind raced as he tried to think of a way to change the subject or deflect the truth.
“Nothing.”
“You can’t just blurt that out and then backtrack.” She shook her head. “You have to finish that thought. What do you mean you shouldn’t have kept going?”
This was the moment he’d been dreading for a year and a half. This was the moment when he’d have to admit what an asshole he was and what he’d done.
