by Amira Rain
CHAPTER FOUR
Once we’d both finished eating, Cora took me on a tour of the village, which, as she’d promised me setting out, was almost indescribably beautiful. Dozens of rustic cabins, including my own, backed up to the jungle and faced the beach and the ocean, which shimmered all silver and gold in the sun. Closer to it, the water was actually a crystal clear turquoise blue, a gorgeous color that lifted my heart just to look at it. That afternoon, after we’d joined several other women for lunch, Cora and I went swimming for over an hour, and I genuinely began to feel like I was simply on vacation with a friend.
However, despite this, and despite the fact that I’d told Cora that I’d try to clear my mind of all thoughts except enjoying myself, I found that I was unable to do that entirely. My mind kept wandering back to everything she’d told me.
The truth was that although she seemed perfectly sane and credible, I just couldn’t make myself believe her. It was all just too wild, too fantastic. I couldn’t believe she’d actually been able to tell me that Holden and his men were bear shifters with a straight face. The very idea was just literally unbelievable.
Though at the same time, touring the village had convinced me of one thing, which was that I was definitely not on Ellis Island anymore. The landscape and geography was just too obviously different.
But even so, rather than convince me that everything Cora had told me was true, this just bolstered my thinking that everything couldn’t possibly be and likely wasn’t. I figured that on a secluded island, far from all other civilization, it was probably easier for people to get into a group-think mentality and all believe the same half-truths or outright untruths, for whatever reason.
Maybe everyone had been on the island so long that it had made them all a bit unbalanced and prone to believing in fantastical ideas. Maybe everyone was on drugs. Maybe everyone was in some strange cult, and Holden was the leader. And maybe how they recruited new members was by drugging and kidnapping them from Ellis Island, and then trying to make them believe the fantastical ideas that everyone else thought.
All these things seemed like reasonable explanations to me, and they seemed like explanations that any rational person would come up with, rather than just instantly believing in things that sounded absolutely crazy. However, the more time I spent with Cora, and the more people I met in the village,
I began to doubt myself. Not a single person acted as if they were on drugs, and everyone seemed mentally stable. And as far as everyone belonging to a cult, I didn’t get that vibe at all, either. People seemed to speak to each other and disagree just as freely as any other average group of people. I wasn’t getting the impression that there was any kind of a lockstep, group-think mentality going on.
One woman, whose husband was part of a group of men who’d remained behind to guard the village while Holden and the rest of the men were dealing with the Forms, even got in a shouting match with her husband right in front of me while Cora and I were strolling by. The woman, who was doing the majority of the shouting, was upset that her husband disagreed about what color they should paint the exterior of their cabin.
Cora stopped walking and rolled her eyes at her. “Come on. With our guest, Haley, present, let’s at least pretend that we have a completely harmonious community.”
With her face reddening, the woman muttered an apology, then went inside her cabin, slamming the door with her husband still outside.
Cora glanced at me, sighing. “Well, just erase that experience from your mental compartment of vacation memories. We all really do get along here together most of the time. Except when we don’t, which... Well, it happens. That’s when Holden has to step in and keep the peace, and what he says, goes.
Fortunately, everyone around here respects him and always ultimately obeys what he says, which is a very good thing. Sometimes I think it would be chaos around here otherwise. Everyone gets their different opinions about different things, of course, and sometimes people can be very vocal and fractious about things.”
I had to admit, that didn’t sound very cult-like.
Cora and I enjoyed the rest of our afternoon together, combing the beach for shells and beach glass. I had an idea to take a little collection home with me, to make jewelry with. Jewelry that I had an idea that I might sell if I ever got my own business up and running.
That evening, we ate dinner with Cora’s sister Amy, and Amy’s four-year-old daughter Emily. I let myself forget all about everything Cora had told me that morning and all my doubts about it, instead just allowing myself to relax and enjoy the company and the delicious lobster dinner Amy had made.
With my spirits further bolstered by two large glasses of wine, I was actually in a pretty great mood by the time Cora walked me back to my cabin around ten. Shortly after, I drifted off to sleep, sure I had the tiniest of contented little smiles on my face.
However, my mood plummeted the next day, when Holden and his men still didn’t return. A little irritated with myself for wanting to see him again, I tried not to let my low mood show. After all, it was silly of me to want to see him again so badly. No matter the reason, he’d practically manhandled me to get me back to the village the day before.
He’d actually thrown me over his shoulder. Not to mention that it was hopefully true that I’d be able to go home soon, so there was no point in kindling any kind of a relationship with him. Also not to mention that I still had strong suspicions that he’d somehow kidnapped me. Which, obviously, was a pretty big reason not to get involved with someone.
So I couldn’t understand why my mood got even lower when Holden and his men still hadn’t returned to the village by the afternoon of the second day. I could tell Cora had noticed, though she hadn’t said anything. However, while she, Amy, and I were sunbathing, when she got a text and said it was from Holden, I jumped up to sitting before I could even stop myself, surely giving my anticipation away.
I tried to cover the action by speaking casually. “So, just out of curiosity, what does the text from him say?”
Clearly seeing right through me, Cora gave me a knowing little smirk, then sat up herself and began reading the text out loud. “Please ask Haley if she’d like to have dinner with a real son of a freak tonight. If so, tell her I’ll be by with dinner at eight. Also, please give her a cellphone. I’ve been wanting to communicate with her personally to see how she’s been doing while I’ve been gone. Thanks.”
Still trying to act casual, even though my heart was pounding for some reason, I shrugged. “I guess dinner with him would be fine.”
Cora’s sly little smile got a bit bigger.
“Okay. I’ll answer him back that you say not to be late.”
She began typing, and I grabbed the phone away from her just in time to stop her from sending that possibly overly-eager-sounding message.
A short while later, she gave me my own phone, saying that it would only work to call and text other people on the island. “See, our phones are a little different. They have to be modified to ping off an old electronic communications tower that the scientists built here in the eighties. They won’t work to call anyone back in the States, or anywhere else in the world.”
Which is an awfully convenient to keep people who’d possibly been kidnapped from calling home, I figured.
The rest of the afternoon kind of dragged. I tried to keep my thoughts from Holden and our dinner by collecting more shells, rocks, and beach glass for jewelry, but I found it difficult to focus on the task. When Cora strolled over after a swim and asked me if I was looking forward to that evening, I was so lost in thought about Holden that she had to repeat the question before I could fully comprehend it.
Having just filled a small mesh bag to the brim, I stood and drew the drawstring top shut, shrugging. “I guess. Maybe a little.”
While she walked with me back to my cabin early that evening, she asked if I’d been able to do any processing of some of the things she’d told me my first morning on the island.
/>
“I mean... Well, I know I told you to put everything out of your mind for a while and just focus on enjoying a vacation, and I do hope you’ve been able to do that, but do you think maybe you’ve been able to subconsciously process anything? Do you feel like on a gut level, you’ve been able to accept what I told you, and come to a place where you believe it, at least mostly?”
Walking along barefoot in the warm sand, I shrugged for what felt like the millionth time that day. “Well... to tell you the truth, I guess I just... Well...”
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She’d been so kind to me, and I already considered her a good friend.
“You need more time. I understand. And I’m not just saying that; I really do. When I first got here in the eighties, and when I was told exactly what kind of ‘experiment’ the scientists were doing to the men, and exactly what they were turning them into... Trust me, it took me more than a quick second to wrap my brain around everything. It took me much more than a quick second to truly believe and accept everything.”
Before I could respond, Cora quickly changed the subject and the rest of the way to my cabin, she didn’t say anything else in regards to my belief, or non-belief, about everything she’d told me.
Once inside my cabin, I quickly showered and dressed in an all-red, spaghetti-strap, scoop-neck sundress; but then, I changed out of it and into a pale pink sundress, deciding the red one would maybe make more of a sexy impression than I wanted to make. But then, surveying how I looked in the pink one in a full-length mirror, I took that one off as well, thinking that it had too much little girlishness about it, which also wasn’t quite the impression I wanted to make.
Frustrated, I pulled out a few more dresses and held them up to my front, finally finding one I was pleased with. It was a knee-length halter top dress, all white, with a splash of embroidered bright red flowers across the bodice. It was attractive and flattering, though without looking like I was trying too hard. I hoped that’s how it appeared, anyway.
I also tried to strike somewhat of an understated look with my hair, jewelry, and makeup, opting to sweep my long, light brown hair up into a slightly messy bun. For jewelry, I selected simple small gold hoop earrings, and for makeup, I applied just a touch of lip gloss and a single quick coat of mascara only. I’d developed a light golden tan during my couple of days on the beach, to the point that I didn’t need even a faint dusting of bronzer, which I usually wore.
I’d just finished putting on a pair of tan wedge-heeled sandals when a knock on the front door sounded at eight exactly. With my pulse accelerating just a bit, I answered it and found Holden standing out on the porch, dressed in dark jeans and a crisp white long-sleeved shirt open at the collar, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of his chiseled chest.
He was holding several stacked, lidded containers, and he glanced from them to me with his full lips curving in a sexy half-grin. “I made dinner myself, since I figured it might be rude to make a guest cook.”
“Probably no ruder than calling someone a ‘little freak’ in a message to be relayed by a third party.”
He chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound. “Fair enough. I did make up for that, though. I referred to my own self as a ‘son of a freak’ in a text message just today. Clearly, I’ve internalized your insults. Clearly, I’ve taken your wounding jabs to heart. If that doesn’t make things equal between us, I don’t know what will. So, unless you have any new barbs to throw my way, maybe you’ll let me inside to have dinner with you now.”
Fighting a smile, I stepped aside to let him enter. “I guess so. Please come in.”
He did, and soon we were seated at the dining room table, piling our plates with steamed crab legs and tender green beans. He’d even brought warm, crusty French bread, salad, and a bottle of wine, too. He’d also brought coconut crème tarts for dessert, though he admitted that he’d had one of the women in the village make them.
While putting them in the fridge, he’d glanced over at me. “I can put together a simple meal myself, but when it comes to little cakes and tarts... Well, let’s just say I know my limitations.”
I’d given him a smile, finding the comment somewhat adorable for some reason.
We shared a few more smiles over a surprisingly amiable dinner. He asked me about my life and interests, and then he asked me how I liked living in New York City so far. I told him the truth, which was that I wasn’t having a great time of it, then I made him chuckle with a few stories about some very interesting, colorful people I’d met while in the city.
One of them was an older man in my building who had two cats, both of which he’d somehow trained to sit on his shoulders. They’d perch, seemingly perfectly comfortable, while he strolled down the communal hallway to get his mail every day, whistling. I didn’t know this particular neighbor’s name; everyone just called him The Catman.
Holden’s and my good rapport continued while we ate slices of pie, and I even asked him a few general questions about himself, but once we’d finished, he sat back in his chair with his expression becoming a bit more serious.
“So, Cora tells me that you’re still in a state of disbelief about what she told you. Which is fine, but... I have to know. Do you still think I possibly drugged you or kidnapped you somehow? Do you still actually believe that’s true?”
Irritated, I set my napkin on the table, snorting. “You’ll have to forgive me for not being a bit suspicious as to how it happened that I was strolling through the grounds at Ellis Island one minute, then unconscious the next, then waking up in a completely different place God only knows however many minutes or hours later.
You’ll have to forgive me for being a little skeptical of the explanation that I fell through some sort of supernatural portal just by dipping my hand in a fountain.”
“But that’s exactly what happened. It’s the truth.”
“Right. And I’m sure it’s the truth that you’re really some sort of supernatural shifter creature who has the ability to turn into a bear at will.”
“That is the truth. Whether you believe it or not.”
I got out of my seat and began pacing, arms folded across my chest. “Right. That’s the truth. I’m sure. And now since you’re insisting that it is, it’s really making me doubt your assertion that you didn’t somehow drug me and kidnap me. If I can’t get you to tell me the truth about some crazy story about you being half-animal that you’ve somehow gotten Cora to believe, then how can I not be dubious when you say that you didn’t kidnap me?”
Heaving a sigh, Holden got up from the table. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but everything Cora and I have told you is the truth. You did get here by falling through the portal. I am a bear shifter.”
Scoffing, I stopped pacing and looked him dead in the eyes. “Prove it.”
He sighed again, taking a few steps to close the distance between us. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’re a bit mentally and emotionally fragile right now, which is very understandable. You’ve been through an awful lot. But considering this, I think it’s probably best that I don’t shift into my bear form right now, right here in the dining room.
I honestly think it would just scare you, and cause you to further retreat into denial. I think it would probably just cause you to convince yourself that you’re hallucinating or something. You’d probably convince me of drugging you yet again, not that I ever actually did even once. I just don’t feel like you’re ready to be faced with me in my animal form at this point.”
The entire time he’d been talking, I’d been standing stock-still, glaring at him with my jaw clenched.
Now, I unclenched it just long enough to speak. “Excuse me. How did you just describe my mental and emotional state a moment ago? Did I actually hear you right? Did you actually describe it as ‘fragile?”
“Look. Maybe that was a poor word choice. I just—”
“Is this how you get your new recruits to get with the program? You make them feel like th
ey’re fragile and crazy if they don’t get with the program?”
“I never said ‘crazy.’ I—”
“I think you’d better leave. I think I’ve heard just about all the lies and delusions I can handle for one night.”
“Look, Haley, I think you’re just scared. You’re scared because you’re human, and admitting the existence of the supernatural is a scary thing. In fact, I’d be highly disturbed if a person wasn’t scared.”
“So, now I’m fragile and scared? Sounds as if you don’t think much of me as a woman.”
Sighing yet again, Holden raked his hands over his handsome, square-jawed face. “I think you’re right. I think I should go. You obviously need more time to accept things, and I’m sure I made a mistake in asking you what I did tonight.”
Suddenly exhausted, I began stacking the dishes on the table. “Goodnight. I’m sure you can let yourself out.”
After a long moment, he said goodnight and did just that. As soon as I heard the front door close, I set down the stack of dishes I was holding, promptly burst into tears, and buried my face in my hands, unable to understand why him doing what I’d asked should make me cry.
*
The next day poured rain. I stayed inside, and Cora, Amy, and little Emily came over for lunch. While we were alone in the kitchen, making sandwiches, Cora casually asked me how the previous evening had gone. Unable to find the words to respond, I just shook my head, quietly scoffing.
Cora gave me a sympathetic look. “That great, huh?”
I could only scoff again, and she continued.
“Well, then, maybe you’ll be relieved to know that Holden and his men have had to go back into the jungle today. More Form trouble. One of them, a wolf Form, seems intent on trying to charge out to our village. Holden and the others have had a heck of a time fighting him off. I know Holden just wants to kill him and be done with it, but this Form is unusually strong. Holden just hasn’t been able to take him out yet, but he will. He’s unusually strong himself.”
