We fell silent for quite some time while I leaned against Malachi, gazing into his face. I pretended he was just asleep. He looked so peaceful, so content, like he was having a beautiful dream.
There came a rapping on the door and Hepsati stood to answer it. As the door opened, I saw the early morning light flood in before I heard Samuel’s voice.
“Is she…?”
“She’s still with him,” Hepsati answered.
Samuel pulled back the blanket and looked down at me. “Naomi.”
He rushed over and kissed my head while Hepsati caught Saul and sent him to Joshua as well.
Samuel’s arm wrapped around my waist. “Dear sister, it’s time to let him go.”
“No, please.” I cried.
He sighed. “Naomi, this is indeed a sad day. You know I love him like a brother, but he has moved on and we must prepare his body.”
I pressed tighter onto Malachi’s chest and sobbed again. “Just a few moments longer.”
“All right. I can’t move him by myself anyway.” He sat back beside me, gently stroking my hair, then wrapped a robe around me to preserve my modesty before the other men arrived.
Next to arrive was Bilhan with Rena’s oldest son, then Uriyah with his oldest two sons. Then finally, Tobiah arrived with Jared. They pushed through to their younger brother and began to weep. Their tears gave me relief, as every person that had entered had come to me and tried to give me comfort. Their tears for Malachi felt right, that he was remembered by someone other than me and my children. As a result, when Tobiah reached for me, I let him pull me back from Malachi. He held me as the men lifted Malachi to take him and prepare his body for burial.
Three days passed, and we buried Malachi on our farm in a knoll overlooking the river. All of our families were there except Tut; I hadn’t returned to Horemheb’s estate, so I hadn’t had a chance to tell him. Itani also did not know; she was still hidden away.
Hepsati, Rena, and Adina kept close to me to give me comfort as the men lowered Malachi into the ground. Rachel wouldn’t stop crying loudly, which brought a deep stabbing pain in my heart. Zakkai, on the other hand, was my rock and held my hand tightly while keeping his brothers quiet.
Once the men closed the grave, all seemed to turn their attention on me, to give me their condolences. But I didn’t want them. Nothing they could say or do could bring my husband back. I struggled to remain gracious and accept all their words of comfort, until finally, just Rena and I stood there while the others had returned to the house.
She linked her arm though mine. “Naomi, I know how you are feeling right now. I know you don’t care what anyone is saying to you.” She gently brushed my hair back under my shawl. “Malachi is still your husband, don’t lose faith in that, but for now, let yourself grieve. I won’t stop you if you just want to run away for a while.”
I looked down at her, surprised, as she gazed up at me with wide, teary eyes. “I did.”
She let go of my arm and stepped back.
I stared at her for a moment, then glanced toward the road. I wanted to run, I couldn’t bear people trying to console me any longer. I wanted to pretend that Malachi was still with me. I took a deep breath and began to run.
I dashed through the nearly abandoned, early evening streets. I passed the well and remembered dropping the bucket when Malachi had called me his property, then when he had stood between Horemheb and me. I couldn’t stop there.
Next, I turned down the empty marketplace and remembered walking with Malachi and Tobiah and finding the daughters of Laban. I couldn’t stop there either. I passed my father’s house where Samuel now lived. Memories flooded over me, so I rushed on.
I passed the fields, the courthouse, the place where Malachi had caught the stone that had been flung at me, until finally I reached the festival square and came to an abrupt halt. I saw in my mind the large bonfire of our annual festival and I remembered the first time we had danced together. He had been charming, lively… He had dipped me and kissed my neck right in front of everyone, then he had been taken away and almost killed.
Now he was dead.
I cried into my hands. I couldn’t go anywhere without thinking about him. I couldn’t escape him anywhere I went. He had been my everything. We had always done everything we could together. Then I thought of one place where Malachi had not been allowed to go, except once. I swiveled and ran for the exit of our sector.
I rushed into the estate in tears. I didn’t care who saw me, I just had to get to Horemheb. He would know what to do, he would be able to calm me and ease my sorrow. I ran through the abandoned rooms toward his bedchambers, and as I approached, he burst out.
“Naomi?”
I rushed into his arms and sobbed loudly into his chest. “Horemheb, he’s gone, we just buried him. How can I go on? Who will tend to the farm? Who will help me with the children?”
“Naomi, are you saying your husband…?”
My legs gave out as my grief overcame me. He caught me to hold me up. “I haven’t even been able to let Tut know,” I said through my tears. “He’s going to be devastated.”
He pulled me into his room and shut the door behind him so we could talk. “I’ll talk to Tut in the morning.”
“I’m so lost, Horemheb. Zakkai and Joshua can’t tend to the farm on their own, and I can’t afford to employ servants to assist.”
“I will take care of it.”
“How? You have so much you have to do already.”
“I’ve always been able to manage, haven’t I? Trust me, Naomi. I’ll send servants for you, and I will increase your pay.”
I looked up at him feeling grateful. “That’s too much.”
He smiled. “If you think so, then it’s just enough.”
I pressed my cheek against his chest as I embraced him. “Oh, Horemheb, what would I do without you? It never ceases to amaze me how someone who everyone fears so much could take care of me so well.”
He rubbed my back gently, and after a few moments he asked, “Do you fear me?”
I looked up at him, surprised, and said, “No.”
He gazed into my eyes as his hands lifted to clasp my face. Then without realizing it, I pressed against him and kissed him. He took a moment to respond, but then he kissed me back passionately. His arms wrapped tightly around me, as my hands lifted and touched his face. He pulled my shawl off and ran his fingers through my hair, so I lifted my hands to return the gesture. He pushed me back and we collapsed onto his bed, never for one moment stopping. His hands ran up and down my body, taking in my curves. He broke away and kissed my neck. I grew excited as I ran my hands over his powerful back and shoulders.
He pulled at my clothes as he whispered, “Naomi, how I long for you! But Hebrews wear far too much clothing and it’s making this very difficult.”
His hand ran up my leg under my tunic. I gasped, suddenly realizing where this was going.
“Stop, Horemheb. We can’t do this.”
“Of course we can.” His voice came out heavy as he tried to pull off my robe. “I love you, Naomi. I want nothing more than to be with you.”
He leaned down and kissed me passionately. It felt so wonderful that I wanted to give in to him; I even felt my body push against his as he pressed down on me. But I was riddled with guilt as Malachi filled my mind. He hadn’t had the strength to be with me for several months, and I felt as if I was simply passing my carnal desires onto Horemheb.
I pulled away from him and started to cry again. “Stop, please! Malachi hasn’t even been in his grave an hour. I can’t do this.”
He froze. Then slowly, he lifted himself off me and sat on the edge of the bed. I curled up and cried. His face fell into his hands and he muttered, “I’ll never have you as my own, will I?”
His words only made me cry harder as my heart broke for him. After a few moments, he sighed and lay beside me. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close so I could cry into his chest. It felt good there. His arms wer
e so strong. He never spoke a word. Somewhere amidst my tears, I fell asleep.
awoke and sat up, disorientated. I glanced around to get my bearings, and saw light coming through the cracks in the curtains. Horemheb slept beside me, which made me flinch and fall off the bed.
He sat up, startled by the noise, and looked around. “Naomi?”
I groaned as I rubbed my rump. “I shouldn’t be here.”
He shuffled over as I untwisted myself from the blankets. “Let me get you some breakfast.”
“No, I—”
He grabbed my arm. “Naomi, you are not to work today.”
“I must get home. My children…my family are probably all worried about me.”
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and helped me untangle myself. “At least wait to see Tut. I can send word to your children.”
I pulled myself free and looked up at him. “Very well.”
He stood and helped me to my feet. “Go downstairs and eat something while I dress and send for Tut.”
I obeyed and rushed out the door. As I shut it behind me, I noticed someone watching me out of the corner of my eye. I turned and saw the head maidservant staring at me with her jaw gaping. I knew how bad I must look, and flushed, turning away from her.
“Wait!” she hissed.
I paused, but didn’t dare look around.
She rushed over to stand in front of me. “Did you…?”
“No,” I answered quickly, feeling relieved that we hadn’t, even if we almost did.
“Then…” Her eyes darkened as her brows lowered. “I thought you were married?”
“I…” My voice caught as I thought of Malachi. “My husband is dead.”
She scowled and pressed her fist against her hip. “How long has this been going on?”
My eyes flashed up to her. “Nothing is going on.”
She laughed sarcastically. “So slipping out of his room first thing in the morning looking like this,” she flicked at my hair, “Is nothing?”
“I… it’s…” I sighed and slumped, knowing exactly how bad it looked.
Suddenly the door opened behind me and Horemheb said, “Why are you still here? What’s going on?”
The maidservant bowed. “I’m sorry, my lord, we were just returning to our duties.”
“Naomi has no duties today. She is grieving, that is why she has been absent the last few days.”
“As you wish, my lord.” She bowed again, but her glare burned into me.
Horemheb pulled me back from her. “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. Naomi remains as virtuous as the day I met her. Her husband died and as an old friend, she turned to me for comfort. There is no crime in that, so you will show your queen the respect she is owed.”
I winced. “Horemheb, you just called me―”
“I know I did,” he said, glaring at the maidservant. “This is Kiya, my old and dear friend whom I have kept concealed here so she can see her son. I know all of my servants whisper about it, and so I’m confirming it to you now.”
She fell to her knees, her gaze flashing up to me. “My lord, I did not mean to offend.”
He snorted. “Well, you did. Keep her true identity secret or I will behead you and anyone else who dares to open their mouth.”
“Yes, my lord.”
He reached back and took my hand. “Now, find me someone to take a message to the king.”
She rushed away, then he turned to me. “Come, Naomi. You should eat.”
He led me downstairs as I said under my breath, “You know, I don’t think you’ve ever threatened to behead me before. Stab me, slit my throat, but never behead.”
He laughed softly. “Would you like me to?”
“No, I’m fine.”
One of the menservants met us in the grand entry, and Horemheb gave him a message to take straight to Tut. He then guided me into the kitchen and opened the storage room doors.
“I believe there’s some dried meat in here somewhere.”
I rushed over to help him, but he blocked me. “No, I will do this. This is my house; I should know where things are kept.”
I watched him, glad for the amusing distraction as he searched the shelves for several minutes before he found the meat. He then handed it, and some other items he decided would be good for breakfast, to me, and declared it a good soldier’s meal. I smiled at the eggs, meat, and cheese but didn’t argue, just felt grateful for his efforts to keep my mind off my grief. He came over and sliced the cheese with his dagger, then cracked one of the eggs open and realized they didn’t come hard-boiled.
“I’ve always had someone make my food for me.” He scowled as I giggled at him. “Even when I’m at war.”
I talked him through boiling the eggs before he sat across from me, looking proud of himself.
We ate in silence, but I felt him watching me. It made me very uncomfortable. When we finished eating, he tried to clean up, but had no idea where anything was or went. When Tut entered, I yelled with amusement, “To your left! Do you deliberately ignore me?”
“I don’t see what you are talking about!” Horemheb responded from within the storage room.
“Mama, what’s going on?” We both turned at his voice and saw him smiling. But my heart sank at the sight of him, knowing I had to get back to the real world.
Horemheb looked at me. “Do you need me, or would you like to do this yourself?”
“I will do it myself,” I said, standing. I walked over to Tut and grabbed his arm. “Let’s walk in the gardens.”
He gazed down at me with worry and nodded.
Tut and I stood by Malachi’s grave holding hands. He had been quiet since I told him, and very solemn. He stared at the grave with a stone cold expression, his stare fixed on the mound of dirt.
“He was a good father.” He squeezed my hand. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
“Neither can I,” I whispered.
He carefully examined my face. “You should come back to the palace now, and be the queen you are meant to be―”
“No, Tut.” I frowned. “There are still people who would have me dead.”
“No, they wouldn’t. You are the great and wonderful Kiya. You are the mother of the king and―”
“And a Hebrew,” I cut in. “Samuel is practically forcing families to leave the city to help alleviate the pressure we have on us because of the so-called ‘Hebrew issue’.”
“I can stop it, Mama. You can stop it if you return.”
“Tut―”
“Don’t you see? You could be so powerful. You are still feared. When your name is spoken, I see great men tremble. Ay and Nahktmin don’t even allow your name to be spoken.”
I scoffed. “They are the men who prevent me from returning.”
He scowled. “Mama, if I tell them to worship you, they will. I am Pharaoh.”
I folded my arms, knowing this argument would take me nowhere. So I changed its course. “I need to maintain the farm for Zakkai, and the children cannot grow up in the palace, they are not royal in any way.”
“So what are you going to do?” he asked, turning to a gentler tone.
I sighed. “Malachi told me he took care of everything. I have to trust that it will all fall into place for me.”
“Who is to marry you?”
I looked up at him, startled. “What?”
“Who are you going to marry? A woman raising five children, who is not yet old, needs someone to support her.”
I stared down at the grave and shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t want to marry anyone else.”
He turned to me and grabbed my shoulders. “Mama, you cannot possibly tend to the farm, the home, my siblings, and earn an income all on your own.”
“I won’t be alone,” I said defiantly. “I’ll have Zakkai and the boys, and Rachel is learning how to perform her duties.”
He pulled a face. “Rachel is a terrible cook.”
“She’s eight years old.” I frowned
.
“You should marry Horemheb.”
I stiffened. “Hepsati said that, too.”
He grinned. “There’s something to it, then. You know, I think he would become more useful to me if he was going home to you. He would―”
“No, I can’t marry him.” I hung my head, staring fixedly on Malachi’s grave. “I gave you to your father and Zakkai to Malachi as heirs. Horemheb still needs an heir, and if he were to marry me, he would never get one.”
“But he would just be happy to have you.”
I lifted my hand to cut him off. “I would not make a good wife if I could not give him an heir.”
“You sound like Ankhe.”
I looked up into his eyes and saw him staring at me in a very determined manner. I turned away from him, ashamed. “I’m sorry, Tut, but it’s just not possible.”
“Why not? Mama, why?”
I prodded his chest. “Because I’m afraid he will turn me back into a Queen of Egypt. I’m afraid Ay will find me in his house and really kill me. Then what would happen with you and Itani, and more importantly, the other children, the pureblood Hebrews? No, Tut, it’s just not possible.”
I turned on my heel and marched toward the house.
“You’re crazy, Mama!” he snarled, rushing after me. “You could be so great, you could inspire Horemheb to do so much, but you run away because you’re afraid? Were you not the one who told me that to be brave you had to feel fear first?”
I pursed my lips, not wanting to answer him.
“Mama, do you think marrying Horemheb would be betraying Papa?”
I winced; I felt like he had slapped me across the face, then followed through by throwing a stone building block at my chest.
“That’s it isn’t it? Mama, Papa is dead―”
“Stop, Tut!” My tears began to fall. “Just stop.”
He stared down at me, his chest rising with his emotion. I turned away from him so he wouldn’t see my tears, and began walking again.
“Mama!” he called after me. “I know you love Papa, but he’s gone now, and you still have to survive.”
I didn’t turn, but my tears ran faster down my cheeks.
KIYA: Rise of a New Dynasty (Kiya Trilogy Book 3) Page 12
