She nodded, blinking away tears. “I’ll never forget that guy. I know you don’t believe me, but I swear I saw him at Bagram.”
Ethan blew out a sigh. “You were scared. I believe you think you saw him.”
She shook her head.
“Okay, so say it was him. You’re not TDY there anymore. You’re quite literally thousands of miles away. You don’t need to be afraid of him.”
“You think I’m crazy.”
“Not crazy,” he reassured her. “Stressed. Upset. Hell, I have no idea what I’d think or how I’d act if that ever happened to me. I’ve never been in your shoes.”
“Sorry. Let’s just finish eating.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” he said gently. “I’m glad you’re opening up to me. I’ll talk as long as you need to about it. I just hate seeing you upset.”
“It’s not something I can just quickly get over,” she said, looking at him sadly.
“And I’d never expect you to. That’s why you’re here, remember? To give yourself a little breathing room. I promise you’re not in any danger here, but I swear, if someone tried to hurt you, I’d protect you with my life.”
“Ethan….”
“I would. I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m not exactly proud of it, but I shot some of those bastards chasing us down the mountain. If someone showed up here trying to harm you, I’d do the same damn thing.”
She swallowed, staring across the table at him. None of this made any sense—not her feeling of foreboding. Not her panicked feelings when she was alone in a crowd. And certainly not her attraction to the handsome Navy SEAL sitting across from her. She’d just been kidnapped for God’s sake. She shouldn’t be interested in a guy, should see?
And besides, what exactly did he see in her?
She was nobody. Just an Army Reservist who’d been doing her job. Who’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She worked at the Pentagon and went home to her apartment every night. He was a larger than life hero who could probably have any woman he wanted.
“My mom still wants to have you over for dinner,” she said, trying to lighten the mood.
“Just say when,” he quipped.
“And you’ll just—fly across the country?” She was curious as to what his answer would be. Obviously, he couldn’t just go AWOL to come visit her. But would he visit? He’d invited her out here to stay, but she’d also been invited by Hailey. It wasn’t exactly the same thing since she’d planned to come anyway.
Ethan flying out to see her would be…bigger. It would mean something.
“Sure. I’d have to request leave of course, but I’m old enough to realize I don’t just instantly connect with every woman I meet. I’d love to fly out and see you.”
She took a deep breath.
“Would you be okay with that?” he asked, his voice gruff. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by saying that.”
She looked into his dark eyes, her heart pounding. “I’m scared,” she admitted.
“Of us? Or of being found again by your kidnappers?”
“Yes. Both,” she said immediately.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” he said gently. “Maybe it was an unusual way for us to meet, but I’ve rescued plenty of people over the years. I’ve never felt this way about any of them. I’ve never gone to visit them in the hospital, and I sure the hell never brought them to my house.”
“Ethan, God. I just feel really overwhelmed and out of my element right now. My world was upturned when I was kidnapped. I haven’t even returned to my normal life yet.”
“I know. I’m not trying to put you on the spot. I know you have to reacclimate to living back here in the States, going to work every day, and just being free. It kills me that you had to endure any of that, but I want you to relax while you’re here. Let’s finish eating,” he said. “We don’t have to decide anything right now. We’re just getting to know each other better this week, remember?” He winked. “Tomorrow we’ll have Hailey and Ghost over. We’ll go to the beach one day and do whatever you want to relax and get your mind off things. I’ll touch base with Raptor, too, so you can meet Clarissa.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’d like to meet her.”
Kimberly’s phone buzzed on the table, and she glanced down. “Hailey just wanted to make sure I was okay,” she said after reading the text.
“She’s a good friend,” Ethan said.
“The best,” Kim agreed. “You probably know she used to work at the Pentagon. That’s how we met. And we both lived in Arlington. Well, I still do, obviously.” She started talking more about her life as she ate, telling him some of her crazy work stories as he shared some sanitized versions of his missions.
Over an hour later, they’d finally finished their early dinner. Ethan put the rest of the food in the fridge, and then they went back out to his patio to hang out and relax. Ethan had two lounge chairs off to the side of the table, facing the palm trees that lined the back of his yard. He sank down into one and held out his hand to her. “Come sit with me,” he said.
She went to him without thought, sitting between his legs and leaning back against his chest as his arms wrapped around her. He was nothing but solid muscle and warmth. She shivered slightly in the cooler air as the sun began to set. “Are you cold?”
“You can keep me warm,” she said, snuggling further back into his embrace.
“My pleasure,” he joked.
“It’s so gorgeous out here. Do you sit out back and watch the sunsets all the time?”
“Never,” he admitted with a chuckle. “It’s nicer with you in my arms. Usually on weekends the guys and I hit some of the bars or just hang out. Jackson and Taryn were having a barbeque the night before we left to rescue you.”
“Wow. That must be a little weird—to just get called up with no notice like that. Usually if the reserves are activated, it’s because of some emergency that everyone knows about.”
She felt Ethan shrug behind her. “I’m used to it. When I was younger, I liked the rush of it all—deploying in an instant, never knowing where I’d be the next week.”
“And you don’t now?” she asked, curious.
“I still do, but it’s different. Half of the guys have women at home now. It’s not exactly the same as when the entire team was young, single, and out carousing at bars every night.”
“So, I’m cramping your style?” she teased.
“Not at all,” he said, ducking down and brushing his lips over the top of her head. “I like having you here. Hanging out at Salty Sunset every weekend lost some of its allure over the years.”
Kim giggled. “That was your favorite bar?”
“Yep. Or we’d hit the beach on the weekends. I mean don’t get me wrong, we’ll still go out sometimes. I’m not pretending to be a saint or something. My priorities have changed. It’s the same with everyone, I guess. We get older and want different things.”
“I like being here with you.”
Ethan lightly ran his fingers through her hair. “I’m glad,” he said huskily. His thumb skimmed across the back of her neck, and she felt shivers racing down her spine.
Kim felt safe and cared for in Ethan’s arms. His strength and scent surrounded her, and she wished she could somehow make this moment last forever—the oranges and pinks of the evening sky, the swaying of the palm trees, even the scent in the air. Everything was fresh and vibrant—the whole world beautiful and calm.
She’d seen awful things and knew what the worst of humanity was capable of. But here with Ethan? It felt like a distant memory. All that mattered was this moment. This man.
A gentle breeze blew across the backyard, and she closed her eyes, content.
“It’s late for you with the time difference,” he observed.
“Umm-hmmm.”
“Just relax,” he said in a low voice. “I’ve got you.”
Her breathing slowed as the sun sank even lower in the sky, and she yawned, warmth washi
ng over her as Ethan’s arms tightened. She was safe. Secure. Yet in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but worry that everything would begin to unravel.
Chapter 17
Ethan strode down the hallway later that night, wearing only his boxers. Kim had gone to bed early, and he’d watched part of the game on TV in his living room. He’d kept the volume low so as not to disturb her. She’d practically fallen asleep in his arms earlier on the patio, and he’d gently urged her to go to bed.
She was nestled safely in the guestroom, the door slightly cracked in case she needed something. He wished like hell he could go to her, pull her into his arms, and hold her close all night. He wasn’t about to sneak into the bed of a sleeping woman though. Kim was vulnerable and exhausted. Even if he would love to hold her close and keep her safe, she hadn’t protested when he’d shown her the guest room. And he would never push for something else. Not if she wasn’t ready.
He double-checked the locks on his doors. His gaze shifted to the windows. He lived in a safe neighborhood, and his neighbors knew he was in the Navy. For the first time, he felt like he had something to protect though. Normally he’d crash immediately after brushing his teeth, not too worried about his own safety.
But with the woman sleeping down the hall?
He’d do everything in his power to ensure her safety, so he’d come back out to make sure everything was secure. It was an unusual feeling, but from the moment he’d chased after her in the mountains in Afghanistan, he’d felt she was his to protect. He’d towered above her when he’d grabbed her arm, and something inside him had shifted. She’d been panicked and scared, and somehow his protective instincts had roared to life.
The fact that she was beautiful only added to her appeal. And the more time he spent with her, the more he liked her. Although she’d been frightened at Ghost’s earlier, she’d wanted to make sure Hailey was okay. She cared about her friends and family. She was brave. Hardworking.
They’d talked quietly for hours, both during dinner and when he’d held her out back. He’d never considered himself a man who enjoyed cuddling with a woman, but that’s pretty much what he’d done—held her in his arms while she told him her fears of being alone, of restless nights where she woke up scared.
There’d been no thought of how to get her into his bed like when he usually spent time with a woman he found attractive. He’d just held her, content that she felt safe.
His phone buzzed on the coffee table, and he glanced at the screen as he picked it up.
“Hey Raptor. Is everything all right?”
“Yep,” his team leader said. “Ghost told me what happened earlier. Clarissa used to have panic attacks sometimes when she first got back. She said she could talk to Kim about them.”
Ethan nodded. “Yeah, it might be good for her. Hailey’s coming over tomorrow, but she didn’t deal with exactly the same thing.”
“All right. Talk to Kim in the morning and shoot me a text. We’ll set up a time.”
“Does dinner work?” Ethan asked. “Ghost and Hailey are coming, but you guys are welcome.”
Raptor chuckled. “And the rest of the team? They want to see for themselves that Kim is okay now that we’re back in the States.”
Ethan smirked. Yep. That sounded like his buddies. Plus, they’d been ribbing him about Kim all week. “I’ll check with her. I don’t want to overwhelm her with the entire team showing up.”
“I understand. Let me know, and we’ll plan something. Talk to you later.”
Ethan said goodbye, shaking his head. The last time they’d all been together, they’d gotten word they were headed out on a mission the next day to rescue Kim. And now she was here. She’d met all his teammates, but he didn’t want to freak her out if she’d prefer just seeing Hailey and Ghost tomorrow night.
He turned down the light in the living room, pausing as he heard Kim mumbling in her sleep. He didn’t want to intrude, but she sounded agitated.
“No,” she whimpered. “Leave me alone. Don’t hurt me!”
Her shriek tore his heart out, and he was moving without thought into the guestroom. “No!” she wailed again, thrashing in the sheets as he moved closer.
“Kim,” he said in a low voice. “Kimberly!”
She cried out but sat up, shaking as tears streamed down her cheeks. He could barely see her in the moonlight, but the sound of her crying was like a knife to his gut.
“It’s okay,” he said softly, sinking down onto the bed and pulling her into his arms. “It’s Ethan.” It was only after he’d pulled her close that he realized he didn’t have a shirt on. He felt her tears on his bare chest, and his heart broke.
She clung to him, nestling closer, even as she apologized. “Oh my God. It was so real. I thought I was there again! I couldn’t move and they just—” She cut off, sobbing.
“It’s okay,” he said soothingly. “You’re okay. And you didn’t wake me. I was just locking up.”
“I want you to hold me,” she said, and he obliged, lying down on the guest bed with Kim in his arms. She was smaller than him, and he pulled her close, curling his larger body around hers. His arm went protectively over her chest, between her breasts as he held her tightly. He felt her hair tickling his chest, and he brushed his lips against her head.
“Shhh,” he soothed as she cried. “I’m right here. I won’t let you go.”
He held her tightly, murmuring soothing words as her tears eventually slowed. She still trembled in his arms, and pulled the blankets up over them, trying to calm her. It broke his heart to hear her like this, and he hated that the only thing he could do was hold her. He’d love to take her fear and pain away if he could. For a man used to charging in to dangerous situations, using bullets and sheer strength to fight the bad guys, he hated that her demons were ones that couldn’t be fought with those means. He’d hold her for as long as she needed, but he wished he could do something else to make it better for her. To make everything she’d suffered through just go away.
“Ethan,” she said, clutching onto his arm.
“I’m here, sweetheart. I’m right here. Go back to sleep if you want. I’ll hold you all night.”
***
Kim stirred as she awoke the next morning, sunlight beaming in through the window. She was warm and safe, and she’d slept more soundly than she could ever remember. She felt a muscular, hard body at her back, and before she could freak out, Ethan was already soothing her.
“It’s just me. You asked me to stay,” he said quietly.
“Right, sorry,” she said, rolling over to face him. She could still feel the heat from his body and almost scooted back to snuggle against him again. She remembered the other morning a week ago when she’d awoken on the plane across the aisle from him. She never would’ve imagined she’d sleep in his arms days later.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, his voice husky.
“Yeah. After you came in, I did. I just—I feel safe with you.”
“You are safe with me,” he assured her.
Hesitantly, her gaze raked over him. Ethan was bare chested, with strong pecs and six-pack abs. She’d felt all that muscle up against her, but looking at it? He was a sight to behold. She felt somewhat weak and almost unattractive in comparison. She’d always been average-sized, but she’d lost weight during her two months in captivity. Her camisole and sleep shorts were a bit loose on her. Goodness—even her bras didn’t fit right anymore. She usually felt feminine in this sleep set, but right now, she felt more disheveled than anything.
“I can grab a shirt,” he said, gesturing toward the door as her cheeks pinkened. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”
“More like inadequate,” she admitted. “You’re in perfect shape and—”
Ethan reached up and put a finger over her lips. “Shhhh. You’re absolutely perfect. I work out a lot for my job, but that doesn’t mean I expect everyone else to be all muscle. I love how you look.”
“Ethan—�
� she protested.
“I’m serious. You’re gorgeous, sweetheart. And if I’d held you close any longer, it would’ve been embarrassingly clear how attracted to you I am.”
She flushed as she realized what he was referring to. The blankets covered his boxers, but now she was wondering if he was hard everywhere. “Hell. I don’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable, but I love how you blush around me sometimes.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
His lips quirked. “It’s endearing.”
“Well, that’s even more embarrassing.” She rolled onto her back, covering her face with her hands. Ethan reached out, taking one of her hands in his. His thumb caressed the back of her hand, and his calloused fingers sent shivers racing down her spine. Ethan was rough and raw and real.
And she was in bed with him.
Even though she’d been panicked sleeping near her kidnappers, with Ethan, she felt perfectly safe. She knew that he’d never hurt her. Never force her. They’d never even kissed. Clearly, they were more than friends, but their relationship wasn’t exactly intimate. Nor was she ready for anything like that.
“It’s cute as hell,” he admitted. Their eyes met, and she could swear her face was turning even redder.
“I’m sorry I freaked out last night,” she said softly.
“I’m glad I was here. I don’t mind holding you when you sleep so that you feel safe. I wish you didn’t live clear across the country.”
She nodded. “I know I just got here yesterday, but I know what you mean. It’ll be hard to leave.”
She couldn’t quite interpret the look in his eyes. She was only here for the week. They each had their own lives to get back to. She’d enjoy this week for what it was and then…deal with the rest of her life, she supposed.
“My commander gave me the morning off tomorrow,” he said. “I know you’ve got lunch with Hailey, but I can hang out with you before she comes over.”
“Okay,” she said, feeling relieved. “We can have breakfast together or something.”
SEAL's Revenge (Alpha SEALs Coronado Book 4) Page 14
