by Helen Brain
“And your mom can’t help you out?”
“No. I heard her telling my dad that the vet practice is losing money. She sounded so worried. I don’t even know if she’ll give me the other half. Ten thousand rand is a lot of money.”
“Hmmm,” Pan thought for a minute. “You’ve sold all your little stuff. You’re going to have to sell something more expensive. What have you got that’s valuable?”
“My brothers … Oh no, they’re worthless. I wouldn’t be able to give them away.”
“But seriously,” Pan said. “You must have something you can sell.”
Jamie felt her stomach lurch. “My iPad Air,” she gulped. “It’s the only thing I’ve got that is worth four thousand rand. I really don’t want to sell it.” She sighed. “You’re right, though. It’s the only thing I’ve got that will get me enough money by the time Mrs Bunhoffer gets back. I’ll put it on Gumtree when I get home.”
A silver SUV swooshed past them and pulled into a parking bay for disabled people.
“I hate it when people do that,” said Jamie. “I bet you there’s nothing wrong with the driver.”
“You’re right,” Pan said. “Look who’s getting out.”
Oh no, not HER. She hasn’t been over since the poo shoes incident. Suddenly Jamie remembered the sandals she was wearing. She went cold.
Shardonnay came teetering up on her super high heels. “Hey, Pan,” she cooed, ignoring Jamie. “I’m having some friends over tonight for movies and pizza. Do you want to come?”
Pan moved closer to Jamie. “Both of us?”
Shardonnay looked down her nose at Jamie. “Sorry, there isn’t room for everyone.”
Jamie blushed as Shardonnay ran her eyes down her jeans. They stopped when she reached her shoes.
“O. M. G!” she screeched. “Are you wearing my shoes? The ones your toilet overflowed on. I threw them into the rubbish bin. Eeeeuw, that is disgusting.”
Jamie wanted to die. “Of course not!” she exclaimed. “These are mine. My mom bought them for me.”
“You liar!” screeched Shardonnay. “Your mom can’t afford shoes like that. You took them out of the bin. You’re worse than a beggar.”
“Actually,” Pan said coldly, “it was my idea. It’s called recycling and saving the planet. But you wouldn’t know anything about that,” and she gestured to the enormous silver car.
Shardonnay’s eyes got huge. Before she could answer, Pan jumped in. “I won’t be able to make your ‘pizzas and movies’,” she said with a smirk. “I’ve got something better to do. I’ll be cutting my granny’s toenails.”
“Forget it, you loser,” snapped Shardonnay and flounced off.
Jamie was shaken. “I KNEW that would happen. I didn’t want to wear them, but one of my other shoes disappeared. My mom did wash these, I promise you.”
Pan was giggling. “Your family’s really weird, you know that? Weird in a nice way.”
“You could have gone to Shardonnay’s party,” Jamie said. “I wouldn’t have minded.”
“After what she said to you? You must be joking. And anyway, I’ve already made plans with my REAL friend.” She gave Jamie a hug. “We’d better get to the drop-off zone. Claire will be here in a minute.”
Jamie peered around the corner. “Shardonnay’s standing near her car with that bitchy girl from Grade 8. I’m sure they’re talking about me.”
“We can cut through the alley and go round the back way.”
“I don’t want to. It’s deserted and creepy in there.”
“What choice do we have?”
Jamie sighed and followed Pan to the entrance of the alley.
11
Cat rescue
Pan and Jamie were half way down the deserted alley when Pan stopped dead. “What was that?” she asked looking at Jamie with big eyes. “Did you hear that funny noise?”
Jamie punched her arm. “Ha-ha, very funny. I’m not falling for your ‘there’s a zombie behind you’ joke.”
There was another noise. It sounded like something scratching and clawing.
Jamie went pale. “WHAT WAS THAT?”
“I think it’s coming from under that bakkie!” Pan shrieked.
Just as the girls were about to run, they heard a pitiful meow. Jamie got down on her hands and knees and peered under the vehicle.
“Look,” she gasped. “Aah, shame, it’s a cat and it’s injured.”
“What’s wrong with it?” asked Pan nervously. “It might have rabies.”
“No, it’s someone’s pet,” Jamie said crawling closer. “It’s got a collar on. We’ll have to take it to my mom. Give me your jersey.”
Pan untied her jersey from her waist. Jamie leopard crawled right under the bakkie and wrapped the cat onto the soft fleece. Pan helped her lift the cat out. At the end of the alley a car hooted.
“Perfect timing,” Pan said. “Claire’s here.”
Jamie carried the cat gently to the car. “Can you drive slowly, please, Claire,” Jamie said to Pan’s au pair. She cradled the cat on her lap. “She might have injured her spine.”
“Poor kitty,” Pan said, stroking her head. “She’s beautiful. And she’s so fat. Someone must love her very much.”
“How did you get your jeans torn like that, Jamie?” Claire asked, pointing at a large rip on her knee.
Jamie looked at the tear in dismay. “Oh, no! Must have happened under the bakkie. My mom’s going to go spare. She was moaning about buying me new clothes the other day.”
The moment Claire dropped them off at Jamie’s house the girls hurried through to the vet practice. Jamie tried to hold the cat as still as possible.
Ilona jumped up as they opened the front door. “You girls can’t go through there,” she snapped. “We’re doing the MONTH-END accounts.”
Jamie gave Ilona a dirty look. “I’ve got an injured cat here, Ilona. You know how Mom is – the animals always come first.”
Ilona pulled aside Pan’s jersey and inspected the cat. “We can’t treat every stray out there, you know. That cat looks filthy.”
“We’re not treating EVERY stray, Ilona, just this one.” She pushed past the receptionist and hurried into the consulting room.
Arabella looked up from a messy pile of papers. “Hi, girls,” she said with a tired smile. “What have you got there?”
Jamie put the cat down gently on the examining table. “We found a cat, Mom, she’s hurt.”
Arabella carefully opened the jersey. “Shh, kitty, shh,” she murmured as she lifted the cat’s head and inspected her gums and her eyes. She listened to the cat’s chest with her stethoscope. She ran her hands gently over the cat’s round stomach and moved her legs. The cat cried as she touched her back. Arabella lifted the cat’s tail. “Oh no, this poor little thing is about to give birth. She’s in labour.”
“Oh wow, awesome,” said Pan. “I’d LOVE to watch kittens being born.”
Arabella took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “Not so wonderful, Pan. Her pelvis is broken. She’d obviously been run over. In fact, the stress of that may be what has forced her into an early labour.”
Jamie also looked worried now. “What can you do, Mom?”
Arabella stroked the cat’s head. “Well, we’re caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, Jamie. It will be too painful to let her have these kittens naturally. I’m not even sure that she’ll manage with a crushed pelvis but she’s in shock, and doing a Caesarean could be really risky.”
Pan was horrified. “Do you mean she might die?”
Arabella nodded. “She might.”
“But, Mom, you HAVE to try. She deserves a chance.” Jamie had tears in her eyes. The cat looked at her so trustingly, and meowed. “At least if you operate, her kittens will survive.”
Arabella put her hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “I’ll try, but there are no guarantees, even for her kittens. They might be premature. You girls go call Unathi while I set up the theatre. I’ll need your help too.”
The girls dashed off to call Arabella’s assistant.
While they were away Arabella clipped the cat’s fur from her leg so she could set up a drip and administer a pain killer.
The girls and Unathi were back within minutes. Arabella set up the anaesthetic into the cat’s drip line. She fell asleep and Unathi held her head up so that Arabella could place a breather tube into the cat’s airway. They attached the tube to an anaesthetic machine. It gave a soft blip-blip sound every time the cat breathed. It was reassuring – they knew that she was still alive.
Unathi clipped the hair off the cat’s belly and sterilised the skin while Arabella scrubbed her hands and pulled on surgical gloves. Then Unathi carried the cat through to the operating room. Jamie wheeled the anaesthetic machine through with them.
“Right, girls,” said Arabella briskly. She was holding her gloved hands up in the air to keep them sterile. “I will make a cut and take out the kittens. I will pass them to you one at a time. You take them in a towel and rub them vigorously until they start breathing.
Unathi will show you what to do with the first one, but after that he will be watching the anaesthetic and I will need you girls to take over. Pan, Jamie’s used to blood, but if you feel woozy, then sit down. Oh, and the golden rule is DO NOT touch my drapes or my instruments. If I drop something, leave it. Got it?”
The girls nodded.
Arabella made a firm incision down the middle of the cat’s belly. Blood popped up in little drops. “I’m cutting through the muscles now, and here’s the uterus.”
Pan went pale as Arabella pulled out a big bag that looked like it was full of sausages. She looked up briefly. “That’s the uterus full of kittens. Everyone still okay?”
The girls nodded.
Arabella sliced into the uterus. There was a gush of fluid and then she quickly grabbed and pulled and she was holding a kitten. A long cord hung from its belly button. As Arabella pulled, the kitten came out completely with a blob of tissue hanging from it by the cord.
“That’s the placenta,” explained Arabella. She placed the kitten onto the towel that Unathi had in his hands. He rubbed the kitten vigorously. It gasped a bit and bubbles came out its nose.
“Oh no,” cried Jamie. “Is it okay? I don’t think it can breathe.”
Unathi smiled. “Don’t worry, it is fine.” He held it firmly in the towel and gave a few firm shakes. The kitten started to meow for its mother. The girls were delighted. Unathi tied the cord and snipped it off. He placed the kitten into a basket at his feet, so that he could watch the anaesthetic.
“Jamie, you ready?” asked Arabella, holding out kitten number two.
“Yes, Mom,” said Jamie, taking the tiny, wet bundle. “It hardly weighs anything,” she said, rubbing its back with the towel.
Then it was Pan’s turn.
“Looks like that’s it, only three,” said Arabella as she began to close up the wounds with neat stitches.
The girls leaned over the basket.
“Two white kittens like the mom, and a grey one,” Pan said. “I so wish I could have one of them.”
Arabella looked tired as she tied the final stitch. “Okay girls, Unathi and I will take her for an X-ray to see how bad her injuries are. You two set up a cage with blankets and a warm water bottle for when she’s done. Those kittens must also stay warm.”
“Sure, Mom,” said Jamie happily. There was nothing she liked better than looking after new born kittens.
12
Nimrod 2
It was 7.15 am. The family were lining up as usual to use the bathroom. Jamie rattled the door. “Hurry up, Toby. I’m going to be late for school.”
“Go away. I’m shaving.”
“Don’t be stupid. You’ve only got three hairs,” she yelled, rattling the handle harder. “I need to brush my teeth.”
At last Toby came out, stinking of cheap aftershave. Jamie hurried into the bathroom before someone else nabbed it. Seconds later she flung open the door. “Toby, you disgusting slug, you didn’t flush the loo!”
Tick came up the stairs munching a bowl of cereal. “Wos wrong?” he mumbled. Bieber saw the open door, jumped off Tick’s shoulder and ran into the bathroom. He jumped on the top of the toilet and pushed the handle down.
“Go away, Bieber,” Jamie said, clapping her hands. “Go on. Scat. It’s bad enough sharing one bathroom with humans. I don’t need animals too.”
Chittering and chattering Bieber danced along the top of the loo. Then he picked up a toilet roll, threw it into the bowl and flushed again.
The water rose in the bowl, higher, higher and higher. Dirty toilet paper and … Jamie tried not to look. What had Toby been eating?
Higher and higher it rose. “Mom!” she called, her voice wavering … “Mom, eeeeeeeeek!” The stinking mess was overflowing the top of the bowl and running towards her. “Mom!” Jamie shrieked again, grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste. “Quick!”
Arabella came storming in half dressed. “Oh NO!” she yelped. “Not again. When you think of all that money I paid Mr Bogstripper!” Then she saw Bieber standing at the door, chewing a fresh roll of toilet paper. “It was you, wasn’t it, you little rat. Well, your owner can pay for the plumber this time. I’ve had it!”
When Jamie came back from riding that afternoon, Tick and Fifi were sitting in the lounge with their faces pressed up against the TV screen. “Pass me the phone, Fifi,” Tick said as Jamie came through the door. “Quick.”
“Oh goody gumdropth,” Fifi exclaimed, clapping her little hands together. “Are we buying thomething?”
“What are you doing?” Jamie asked.
“What’s it look like? I’m buying something.”
“You haven’t got any money. How are you paying?
“ … Oh yes, hello … Yes, I would like to order,” Tick said, waving Jamie away.
Jamie sighed and looked at the advert her brother had been watching. If he wanted to waste his pocket money on some rubbish from the shopping channel she wasn’t going to interfere.
A man with goggles was standing in front of a blocked toilet. He was holding a contraption that looked a lot like a bazooka. It was called the Nimrod 2. The man was talking about drain blockages and sewage problems. He pointed his Nimrod 2 into the bowl of the toilet, there was a whooshing sound and they cut to the next scene.
A happy lady who looked a lot like the queen, waved her hand over a sparkling toilet bowl and smiled as her husband and two perfect children admired her loo. Jamie wished the Waine family bathroom was as white and gleaming as the one on TV.
“Here are my credit card details,” Tick said.
Jamie stared. “You haven’t got a credit card!”
“Shhhhhhh! I’m on the phone.”
Tick recited the number. “Name A Waine.”
Jamie’s jaw dropped. Her brother had written her mother’s credit card details on a scrap of paper.
“You’re being tho naughty!” Fifi exclaimed. “I’m going to tell on you.”
“Listen here, Fleaflea,” Tick snarled. “If you say one word about this I’ll flush Snoopy down the toilet. Understand?”
Fifi went pale and clutched Snoopy to her chest. “I thwear I won’t thay anything. Thorry, Tick.” She started to cough. “My chetht ith getting all tight and wheethy,” she gasped. “I’m jutht going upthtairth to fetth my aththma pump. I won’t thay anything, even if Aunty Arabella tortureth me.”
“I’LL torture you if you don’t go away,” Jamie snapped at Fifi. “Using someone else’s credit card is fraud,” she hissed into Tick’s ear. “Mom will kill you when she finds out.”
“Mom won’t kill me. She’ll thank me for sorting out the loo once and for all. She’ll probably take me to the Spur for a treat. I’ve just saved her a lot of money.”
“I’m going to tell her,” Jamie said firmly. “You just spent one thousand five hundred rand without permission.”
Tick grabbed her arm. “I’m doing this for
you. Which would you rather have – the Nimrod 2 with its turbo cleaning pipe boosting germ destroying blast enhancer, or a fat plumber’s bill and no money for a horse?”
“Fine,” Jamie said. If he put it like that … “I won’t tell her, but if she finds out, it has nothing to do with me, right?”
“Fungi, walkies!” called Dawkins from his cage. He gave a perfect imitation of Jamie’s whistle. Fungi came haring down the stairs, his tongue lolling out and his tail wagging madly.
“It wasn’t me, Boy,” Jamie said. “It was that stupid parrot.”
Fungi stared at her, wagging so fast he nearly fell over.
“Walkies!” called Dawkins again.
Fungi dashed into the passage and came back dragging his lead.
“Oh, alright,” Jamie said, patting his head. “I’ll take you for a walk, but we’ll have to be quick. Someone’s coming to buy my iPad.”
13
Dog disaster
Arabella had had a bad day. First the toilet had overflowed and she’d had an outrageous bill from Mr Bogstopper. Then the X-ray machine broke down, and the technician didn’t know if he could fix it. She’d popped down to the shops to buy groceries and the credit card had bounced.
She was certain there was money in it. Where could it have gone? She pulled her battered old station wagon into the parking lot of the veterinary surgery and pressed the brakes. They squealed, but the car kept rolling. It bumped to a stop against a flower pot.
Arabella climbed out wearily. They say disasters come in threes, she thought. Hopefully my luck will turn now.
She opened the back door and pulled out her shopping bags. She tried to slam the door with her knee. It wouldn’t budge.
“You need a new car, Doc,” Unathi said, coming out to help. “This one is finished.”
Arabella sighed. “I know Unathi, and I need a new X-ray machine as well. Why is everything so expensive?”
“You know what your problem is?” Ilona said as Arabella came through the door. “You want to know why you never have any money?”
