Silence. You don't get this kind of silence in Boston. Always there's some noise coming from somewhere, either someone's TV, a car driving by blasting music, distant police sirens, the sound of voices on the street, something. Here, there's an aching silence which slowly resolves itself into a more natural tapestry of sounds. The wind through the trees. The distant call of subtle night insects. If I weren't so tense and wound up, I'd find myself enjoying it tremendously.
My hot chocolate is almost gone, and despite the ski jacket that Rachel lent me, I'm starting to shiver when a car pulls into the driveway, headlights slicing through the dark. It rolls up the driveway, tires crunching on the gravel, and stops in front of me. It's him. I stand as Alexander opens the door and turns to look at me across the top of the car. He looks haunted.
"Hey," I whisper.
"Hey," he says, and closes the car door, then comes around to stand at the base of the steps.
I set the mug down and move to stand in front of him, looking down into his upturned face. "Thank you for coming."
A faint ghost of a smile crosses his face. "It was a strongly worded request."
I take a step down. "I've learned a few things. Things that could change everything."
Alexander doesn't answer, but he looks skeptical.
I swallow and push on. "Rachel Wilder, the owner of Honeycomb Hall, is a witch." I don't know what kind of reaction to expect, but Alexander doesn't even look surprised. He just nods. "She said she can cast a ritual." My words grow soft. I'm scared about saying this. Offering this chance to him. "A ritual that could remove your lion. Make you a normal human. Forever."
Alexander blinks, as if my words don't make sense, and then frowns and shakes his head. "What?"
I step down to him and take his hands. They're cold. "She can make you a human. Remove your lion. But she said you would never be able to undo it. You would be what you've wanted to be, with no going back."
He pulls a hand free and rakes it through his hair, eyes darting from side to side, considering. "I'd be able to run for mayor. For any office. I'd be able to make a difference."
"Yes," I say. "But, Alex, there's no going back. Ever."
He rubs at his face, and I can't imagine the struggle that is taking place in his heart. "Be a human."
I watch him anxiously. "No matter what people would say about your heritage, you'd be safe. A blood test would clear you of all allegations."
Alexander turns to me. "Forever. No going back?"
I shake my head. "It's permanent. But..."
He narrows his eyes. "But?"
I'm scared to go on. "But Blake told me more. That your father is convening all the cairn elders. He's going to try to get them to support him in making new demands on humanity. That we allow shifters to take over our government and rule us for our own good."
Alexander barks a savage laugh of disbelief, then stops. "You're serious?"
I can only nod.
"But that's madness." He pulls his hand free and stalks to one side, staring out at the night. "Somebody will stop him."
"Blake's going to try." I don't follow him. "He said it'll be a duel to the death."
"Of course," says Alexander, snorting. "My father would have it no other way."
Silence. I hug myself and wait.
Finally he turns to look back at me. "What do you think?"
"Me?" I'm surprised. "I don't know where to begin."
That smile of his ghosts back across his face. "Yes you do. I know you better than that, Myra Cole. What are you thinking?"
The darkness hides my blush. Now I do cross the grass to stand in front of him. "Alex. This ritual would remove your lion. Make you what you've pretending to be. But who is that person? This false human? Would you still be yourself, or just a shadow? You've been living half a life for so long, maybe it's started to feel real, but when we were together, when you touched me, when you let go -"
My mouth is dry. His eyes are so large, they look like they're consuming me. "I felt your true self." I press my hand to his chest. "The real Alexander Adams. And he was vital and good and powerful and complete." I hesitate. "If you kill your lion, if you cut him out, you'll be human, yes - but only a shadow of who you could be. Who you really are."
He narrows his eyes. "So you agree with my father."
"Of course not!" I'm suddenly beyond indignant, and I give him a shove. It's like trying to shove a wall. "Shifters and humans are just different. Both are imperfect, and we both have a lot to learn from each other. But you're a shifter, Alex. You have a heart of fire, a talent for leadership, a vision that I think comes from your lion. Your passion. Your drive. Would it still be there if you cut yourself down?"
He doesn't answer.
"Don't do it, Alex." My voice is a whisper now. I place both hands on his chest. "You have no idea how much I admire you for what you've tried to accomplish. But humanity isn't the only group in need of good leadership. Your people - your true people - they need a true leader too. Aurion is going to step up and start spreading his madness. Somebody has to stop him. Somebody needs to show your kind that there is a different way, a better way than Aurion's."
Alexander's jaw tenses and he looks away. "I've worked so hard to get where I am. To get the support. To change people's minds."
"I know," I say. It breaks my heart to watch him fight this.
"I'm so close. My aide, Eric? He said the unions could be ready to line up behind me. With them, with their support and financing, I could really make a go of it. And if I were elected? Boston is a city of millions. I could change their lives for the better. I could -" He cuts himself off and clenches his fists again.
I want to hug him so bad. Find some way to comfort him. But I can only watch.
"My father. He'll welcome my challenge." Alexander smiles, but there is nothing good or warm in the expression. "He'll welcome my claws with open arms. And if I defeat him? He'll die happy."
"But you're not your father," I say. "Your defeating him wouldn't doom you to following his ways."
He meets my eyes, and I feel an electric jolt course through me from his intensity. "I'd have to kill my father. How would that not change me? Make me like him?"
I'm out at sea. I know nothing about shifter traditions and politics. "I don't know, Alex. But somebody has to stop him. Somebody has to step up. A true leader. Your people need you." I need you, I almost say, but I bite down on those words.
"Myra," he groans, and lowers his head. "I don't know what to do."
"Listen to your heart," I say, stepping closer and sliding my arms around his waist. "Look deep within yourself. What does your truest self say?"
He stands still, not speaking, and then shivers. "When I listen close," he whispers, "when I open up to my deepest self, all I hear is roaring."
I shiver as well.
"An angry sound," he continues. "Righteous. A caged lion, furious at being denied for so long. Wanting so badly to be free."
"Then let him out," I say, my voice shaking. "Let your lion go free, Alex. Embrace who you are, not who your father thinks you are. Your true self."
His body is tense. Every muscle is hard. I feel like I'm holding a column of marble. He's not even breathing, just standing there, rocking slightly from the strain. Finally, with an explosive breath, he nods and steps back. I let him go.
Alexander Adams stands in the shadows of Honeycomb Hall, and before my eyes, he shifts into a lion. It's a terrifying, surreal, and beautiful sight. First his golden hair thickens, growing rapidly down past his shoulders while his face distorts, growing a muzzle. His frame grows, his chest deepening, and then his clothing can't contain him any longer and he falls forward onto all fours as golden hair appears all over his body.
He's down on all fours, growing, a massive animal, tufted tail lashing the air, his mane thick and streaked with black. I can't help it; I stagger back. He's easily twelve feet long, powerful and graceful, the king of beasts, a lion of such nobility and power that I'
m awed.
He turns at last to regard me, his blue eyes incongruous and self-aware in his leonine face, and I have to fight the urge to drop to one knee. I never expected him to be so large, so muscular, so savage and royal at the same time. He chuffs, blowing out a blast of air, and then throws his head back and ROARS.
The sound shatters the night. I feel it in the depths of my chest like bass at a dance party. It causes the windows to rattle in their casements behind me, and every instinct in my frail human body urges me to turn and run. The roar rises into the darkness, and in it I hear defiance, anger, sorrow, and determination. Goose bumps break out across my whole body.
As his roar is ending, it's suddenly joined by a series of howls. Wolf howls. I turn, startled, and see wolves emerging from the trees, with the largest one of them all stepping out through Honeycomb Hall's front door. Blake, I realize, and his pack. The six or seven wolves move to stand as a group in front of the lion, and as their howls die down the shifters regard each other.
Alexander looms over the wolves. He's much bigger, easily twice the size of Blake, and he regards them with a confidence and calm that radiates from him like an aura of power. Blake lowers his head, and as one the rest of his pack does the same. They're bowing to him, I realize with a thrill. Alexander's tail lashes the night, and then he turns and looks over his shoulder at the forested hills that lead up to the cairn.
The moment freezes. Now? Is he going to challenge his father now? I thought maybe tomorrow, or the day after...?
But no. Alexander turns and without further ceremony runs toward the trees, Blake's pack at his heels. In a moment they're gone, disappearing between the trunks.
I hug myself tight. I try to listen, to hear anything, but they're well and truly gone. I turn and startle - Rachel is standing on the porch, a shawl wrapped around her curvy frame, her face set and grave.
"You've done a good thing," she says.
"I have?" I don't know. Have I? "Can I even take responsibility?"
"You're not responsible, but you have had an influence, and a good one." Her voice is stern as she stares out at the hills. "The ritual I spoke of has only ever been used as a punishment. It's unnatural, and while it might give Alexander the solution he thought he wanted, it's a terrible path for a shifter to walk."
I nod. Intuitively I had known that. "But now, he's going to confront Aurion." And fight to the death, I almost add.
Rachel sighs. "It has to be done. Aurion was once a good leader, or so I understand. He and my grandmother were lovers once. But when his mate was killed, a poisonous seed was planted in his heart that blossomed and grew. He's become twisted over time, lost to his hatred and pain. It's right that he be challenged and deposed."
"Killed," I say, my voice harsh.
Rachel finally looks at me, and her eyes are deep and mysterious. "Only if he wants the fight to be to the death."
"He will," I say.
"Then that's his decision." Rachel looks back to the dark hills. "Either way, we'll know soon how this is going to be resolved."
I shiver at those words. I almost can't believe that Alexander may soon be fighting for his life. I step up next to Rachel and turn to stand beside her to watch the dark slopes.
Be careful, Alex, I whisper to him in the depths of my heart. Come back to me. Please don't leave me alone.
Chapter 14
Oh, glory! To run on all fours, to feel that fire burning through my veins, my claws digging into the dirt, my vision penetrating every shadow, my body bounding through the woods with effortless grace. It's been too long since I've let my lion come roaring forth, and it's as if the world has gone from monochrome to full color. How could I ever think of divesting myself of this power and vigor forever? How have I kept this part of me suppressed for so long? I push myself, exulting in my body, leaving the wolves behind. They're lithe and quick, but I am the king, and nobody can match me.
I know these hills. I grew up here, and though I haven't returned in almost two decades, I race toward the cairn as if it were yesterday. The whole forest can feel my approach. I can sense the spirits of the woods fluttering with alarm and excitement, word of my arrival spreading like wildfire ahead of me. Shifter patrols fall back, not daring to challenge me. Nobody will oppose my approach. I am the son of Aurion, and though I have been gone for years, no one seems surprised by my return.
I charge through the night, crest the hill, and stalk forward into the standing stones where my father stands in all his cruel glory, waiting for me in turn.
Aurion has always been a massive lion, bigger than any other, but now his mane is shot through with gray and his body is lean where once it was muscled. For all that, he looks to be carved from iron, and I know his strength is still tremendous, his will beyond compare. He sits, calm, his eyes burning like two stars stolen from the heavens and socketed in his skull.
Gathered around him are an array of shifters, all in their beast forms, standing outside the stones, eyes wide, waiting, watching. For decades this moment has been held in abeyance, but finally it's here.
The son has come to challenge the father, for supremacy, for leadership of the cairn.
I stop in front of my father, and deep within my chest like some powerful machine that could power an entire city I growl, a low rumble that would cow wolf or leopard, tiger or hyena.
My father rises to all fours, his mouth opening to reveal great fangs, and I swear that he's smiling.
"I knew you would return, child." His voice is dire, yet strangely fired by gladness. "I knew that you could not deny your true nature forever."
"I've come to end your rule," I say, pitching my voice to carry across the crowd. "Your madness has gone on for too long. It ends tonight."
"Good," says Aurion. "This is as it should be. We shall fight, and he who walks away from these stones will be the elder. Come, cub. Match yourself against me."
"No," I say.
Surprise flashes across his face. "No?"
"No." I step forward, my paws padding silently on the earth. "I will take your position from you without spilling your blood."
"Oh, you will, will you?" He laughs. "Your time amongst the humans has warped your mind. If you think I will relinquish my power willingly, you are a greater fool than I thought."
"I'll take it from you," I say. "I'll force you to step down."
"Then come at me, Alexander!" His words are a roar, and the other shifters step back, suddenly afraid.
"No, Father." I stand proudly in front of him. "My time with the humans has taught me a great deal, yes, but only now have I realized that I can't pretend to be one. I can't deny who I am. And I am not a murderer. I will not kill you. I'm going to take what's rightfully mine. How? By showing you that I'm already the leader of this cairn, and that all these shifters follow me. Not you."
Aurion hesitates, then laughs again. "You are not the elder. I am. What madness is this?"
"I speak the truth. I am the rightful leader. I am the embodiment of the new age. You are a shadow cast by the past. A broken reed that cannot stare into the lights of modernity. You'll plunge us all back into a bloody past. Your hatred will spill innocent blood, and all because you don't understand."
"I understand plenty!" roars Aurion. "I know that humanity is weak, corrupt, and destructive. They cannot be trusted with the power they wield!"
"They are," I say, my calm voice undercutting his fury. "But they're so much more. Ingenious, loving, passionate, creative, wild, and filled with such potential that you cannot comprehend. We are of the wilderness, but we do not change. They are capable of so much more. And the way to see that our future is golden is to work together with them. To offer them the guidance and friendship they need, not the hand of iron dictatorship. Yet this you will never understand. You'll die snarling in defiance before you admit that they are more than scum."
Aurion snarls. "Pretty words. But they don't change anything."
"They change it all!" My roar takes him by surpris
e, and he actually flinches. I step forward again. "We all know how you suffered when Mother died. But that is the world. What we are given is taken away. What we treasure will not be lost. It will be broken, destroyed, and a true leader remains strong and pure of mind. Yet your loss broke you. You tried to break me in turn, but I wouldn't let you. Nor will I let you break this cairn, or our alliance with the humans."
I turn then and look at all the shifters. "I have returned, and I will not leave you again. I'll make sure we enter a dialogue with the humans. That we grow with them. That we'll be partners. We'll enter a new phase, letting go of fear and intimidation and exchanging it for peace and love. Kindness is not weakness. Aggression is not strength. This is a new world. A new age. And I am the one to lead you into it. Come. Stand with me. Now."
The silence trembles, and then one by one the shifters slink to stand behind me, where Blake and his pack stand. Some cast guilty looks at Aurion, while others move with obvious relief. My father casts surprised then furious glances from one side to the other, incredulous at what he's seeing.
"Stop! I am your elder! I command you to stop! Return to where you were!"
Yet nobody does. In a matter of moments, the entirety of the cairn is assembled at my back, and their faith in me causes me to swell with confidence and determination. I stare at my father where he stands alone. He can tell that this is over. That I've defeated him without lifting a claw. And then, just as I expected, I see him crouch lower, preparing to leap at me. He will force a fight, even if it means his dying in shame, rather than admit defeat.
"Stop," I say, and the sheer authority in my voice stays his attack. "Father. You've lost, but it's not too late for you to change. Just as I changed, so can you. Think of Mother. What would she say if she saw you now, ready to kill your son when he has proven himself the true leader of the cairn? Is this the man you wanted to be when you were young? Is this the man Mother married?"
My words hit him like stones, pierce him like arrows, and his eyes go wide with shock. He snarls again, revealing his yellowed canines, but he doesn't leap.
A Lion After My Own Heart: (BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance) (Honeycomb Falls Book 5) Page 9
