by Pamela Yaye
“How so?”
“One morning when I showed up at the boutique looking haggard, Malcolm brought me a cup of coffee and offered his ear. We ended up talking for over an hour. He told me about the plane crash that ended his father’s life and—” Ebony broke off when she noticed the harsh look on Xavier’s face. His vacuous stare only added to her uncomfortableness. “What?”
“Malcolm’s father isn’t dead.”
Ebony felt her face pale. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to think. “But Malcolm told me his dad died in a TWA plane crash back in 1989. He even showed me the newspaper clipping he kept in his wallet.”
“Malcolm Pleiss Sr. is very much alive. The last I heard, he was living in Vegas with a twenty-year-old showgirl.”
“Like father, like son,” slipped from Ebony’s mouth. Shutting her eyes to block out the pain made it seem less real. In her mind’s eye, she saw Malcolm holding her in a comforting embrace and telling her he knew what it was like to feel alone. “You’re not alone, Ebony,” he’d said in a deeply tender voice. “You have me now. I’m here for you. We’ll get through this together.”
Ebony shook her head in wonder. Besides being a cheat and a schemer, Malcolm Pleiss was also a pathological liar. He would say and do anything to get a woman into bed. Ebony wondered if anything he had told her was the truth. I’ll be thirty-three on my next birthday…I manage several contracting companies…I don’t have any children…I love you, girl. It was a marvel that Malcolm had the time to work with all the time he spent lying and juggling various women.
Regret filled Ebony’s heart. And the more she thought about his deceit, the angrier she got. Malcolm might have regarded himself as a twenty-first-century Casanova, but he was a dirty, mangy dog in her book. “What kind of guy invents a story about his father dying just to worm his way into a woman’s life? I can’t believe this! He made up that whole story just to soften me up!”
“That’s what it sounds like.” Xavier actually felt sorry for her. When Ebony had told Jacqueline she didn’t know Malcolm was married, he had mumbled under his breath. She sounded like the typical mistress. “Don’t hold me accountable for my actions. I didn’t know. I didn’t know,” were the first words out of an adulteress’s mouth. But hearing what his ex-brother-in-law had done gave new credence to Ebony’s claims. Cracking his knuckles, he pictured himself driving down to Prospect Park and paying the lowlife a visit. He didn’t know his house number, but it wouldn’t be too hard to find. There weren’t too many Jaguars in Minneapolis and none had personalized plates that read Smokin’. Xavier shelved the thought for now. “What happened next?”
Ebony thought back to the first time Malcolm had taken her out for dinner. The man had wined and dined her to the tune of a two-hundred-dollar meal, plus tip. The pismo clam chowder and Maine lobster entrée had been the best meal Ebony had ever had. After date number one, they began seeing each other sporadically. A movie here, a dinner there. Nothing serious. Malcolm was an average looking guy with kind eyes and an easy smile, but she wasn’t attracted to him. She didn’t have fantasies about becoming his wife or having his babies. She enjoyed his company. She liked having someone she could talk to. Confide in. Vent to. Ebony considered Malcolm more of a confidant than a lover, so when he invited her to his thirty-third birthday party at the Marriott Hotel, she didn’t think anything of it. That is, until she got to the suite and discovered she was the only guest. Swept up in the soft lights, Luther’s velvety voice, and the champagne, she had allowed Malcolm to kiss her. He was in the middle of undressing her when the hotel door busted open and a hysterical woman screamed at the top of her lungs, “Get off my husband, you tramp!”
The sound of Xavier’s voice brought Ebony out of her thoughts. She cleared her throat and manufactured a smile. “Did you say something?”
“Were you in love with Malcolm?”
“No.”
Xavier was shocked by her prompt response. Ebony had been struggling to answer his questions ever since they sat down, but she had responded to the last one easily. Xavier swallowed. He hoped she would answer his next question with the same speed. “Did you guys sleep together?”
Ebony took her time answering. Jacqueline had done a venerable job of seeing to it that Xavier didn’t trust her anymore. The seeds of doubt had been planted and there was nothing she could do to change that. Xavier’s words played back in her mind as she considered her options. There’s no one in this world I’m closer to than Jackie. There was a slim chance he’d forgive her if she told him the only reason she’d slept with Malcolm was because he’d pressured her. Xavier had been raised in a loving, supportive and deeply religious family; she had raised herself. Cliché as it might sound, blood was thicker than water and Ebony knew this was one fight she just couldn’t win. Causing a rift in Xavier’s relationship with his sister was the last thing she wanted to do. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Ebony threw her hands up in disgusted resignation. “Take it any way you want. I’m not going to dredge up my past just to make you feel better.” There was a lot more she wanted to say but she held her tongue. Everyone deserved a second chance, regardless of their past, but it was clear Xavier didn’t see things that way. It was too late for them, but his eyes needed to be opened to his own prejudices. “We can’t change our mistakes,” she told him. “We can beat ourselves up all we want, but it won’t change anything. Yes, I’m sorry about some of the things I’ve done, but I wouldn’t be who I am today without those experiences. I never once questioned you about your past because it didn’t matter. We—”
“What do you want to know?” Xavier demanded, raising his voice. “Go ahead and ask. I don’t have anything to hide. My life is an open book.”
“Your past means nothing to me. I don’t care how many lovers you had before me, or how many times you’ve been in love, or if you used to watch porn.” Ebony couldn’t resist touching him. Her fingers caressed his cheeks, and then outlined his lips. When he managed a small smile, a frisson of hope filled her heart. If Xavier could find it in his heart to give her another chance, she would make sure he never regretted it. “Baby, all that matters to me is the man you are today. Your past has no bearing on our future and neither should mine,” Ebony’s voice faltered at the end and she had to stop a moment to control it. “The only thing I care about is us, right here, right now.”
Her words pierced him to the core. Ebony had a damn good point. This wasn’t the first time he’d been admonished to let go of the past and look to the future. He had heard it countless times before at Jubilee Christian Center. If anyone is in Christ, old things have passed away, and new things have come. As Xavier reflected on the power of the scripture, he was reminded of something his great-grandmother used to say. “Don’t go stirring up old ghosts,” she would warn, swaying in her wooden rocking chair, “because once you do, there’s no turnin’ back.” His grandmother’s words made sense, but his curiosity was burning a hole in the back of his head. It didn’t matter that Jacqueline was happily remarried and awaiting the birth of her first child. He loved Ebony—mind, body and soul—but he couldn’t move on until he knew every single detail of her affair with Malcolm.
Xavier’s mind wandered. He envisioned Ebony in Malcolm’s arms. They were in a seedy motel on the outskirts of town, and the busted neon green sign flashed across her clear and radiant brown skin. She was wearing a pink lace garter set, high heels, her jet-black hair a volume of springy curls. Xavier saw Malcolm’s grubby hands pawing her breasts, and then gliding down the length of her stomach. Half drunk, they tumbled onto the battered queen-size bed. Pressing his eyes shut, Xavier gave his head a good shake. He wouldn’t go there. He wouldn’t allow his imagination to run rampant. It would eat him up inside if he thought about Ebony’s relationship with his ex-brother-in-law. But instead of turning his mind from the past, he asked, “How many times?”
It took Ebony a second to catch
his meaning. She stood and walked away from the couch. “Xavier, it’s time for you to leave.”
“That many, huh?”
She paused. Not long, maybe all of ten seconds. Blinking away the tears stinging the back of her eyes, she put a hand to her chest to steady the volatile beating of her heart. “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me like this?”
The sound of her injured voice made him reach for her. Hurting the woman he loved was not his intention. Xavier went to her. He found it in his heart to push away his anger, and take her in his arms. “Ebony, you know I love you, don’t you?”
She slowly nodded. His gentle words were just what her heart needed to hear and his touch was welcome, even if it was just for a moment.
“You’re perfect for me in every way and despite what happened tonight, I still want you in my life. But in order for us to get there—”
“You need to know what happened with Malcolm,” she finished.
“Exactly.” When Xavier asked Ebony if he could ask one final question, she grudgingly agreed. Holding her in the crux of his arms was the greatest feeling in the world, and though they were at odds, this was exactly where he wanted to be. “Why didn’t you go to Jacqueline and tell her the truth?”
Ebony’s eyebrows drew together, but Xavier didn’t let the hard expression on her face stop him from getting to the bottom of things. “If what you say is true, that Malcolm lied to you about being married, then why not track down his wife and explain?”
Ebony pulled out of his arms. He was doing it again. Judging her. Their future hinged on her response, and that scared her. They had fun together, shared jokes, and even in the silence that sometimes plagued their conversations, she felt loved. Ebony didn’t want to lose Xavier, but there was nothing she could do to make him stay.
“I don’t know.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that, Ebony.”
“I was young,” she said, pushing the words out of her mouth. “After Jacqueline busted into the room, Malcolm threw on his clothes and ran after her, leaving me all alone. I had every intention of tracking her down and telling her what really happened, because I knew Malcolm would lie, but I got scared. A week passed, then two, and before I knew it, six months went by.”
When Xavier parted his lips to respond, she waved her hand in his face. “No more questions.”
He held up an index finger. “Just one more.”
Later, when Ebony reflected on their conversation, she would regret ever giving him such leeway, but in the moment, she wanted to erase the pain in his eyes. During their relationship Xavier had been the one to make her laugh. And smile. Tears of happiness had flooded her eyes too many times to count. It had been his sweet, compassionate nature that had opened her heart to love. Xavier made her feel good about who she was and what she had accomplished in her life. He encouraged her to do better, and in the time they had been dating, he had proven to be a shoulder she could lean on.
Friends, family, co-workers and even employees had commented on her improved outlook on life, and she had credited her newfound peace to her growing faith and her relationship with Xavier. Their love was embedded in security and loyalty, and the raw, deep-seated attraction they shared only intensified their bond. Ebony wanted to return to the safety of his arms, rest her head on his chest and listen to the soft beating of his heart, but knew she couldn’t.
Bracing herself for the worst, she held her head high and met his gaze. “One last question, Xavier. And then I want you to go.”
“Did you continue dating Malcolm after you learned he was married?”
Ebony flinched as though he had slapped her. “Do you think that little of me, Xavier? Do you think I would continue seeing him after all the stress he put me through?” Tears filled her eyes and when she rubbed them away, her eyes filled with more. She loved Xavier with every fiber of her being, but she wasn’t going to let him hurt her any more than he had.
The inky darkness of the evening, which had enclosed the room, mirrored what Ebony was feeling inside. There was an undertone of sadness in her voice when she finally spoke. “After the incident at the Marriott, I never saw or heard from him again.” Ebony opened the front door. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like you to leave.” Conflicting emotions left her feeling confused. She wanted Xavier to leave, but secretly hoped he would stay with her.
Xavier stopped in front of the open door, unsure of what to do. Ebony wasn’t to blame for what happened with Malcolm. The man was a womanizer who preyed on innocent women searching for love and acceptance. Xavier had disliked the businessman on sight. And when Jacqueline announced they were engaged, after dating a mere seven months, the entire family was outraged. But his sister was a grown woman and there was nothing anyone could say to change her mind. The ink on the wedding license hadn’t even dried when the young newlywed started suspecting her husband of having an affair.
Jacqueline had confided in him about her marital problems, hoping he could give her some advice. Malcolm was coming home all hours of the night or not at all. He was squandering their money on lavish dinners that she wasn’t a part of. And he grew angry when she questioned his whereabouts. Despite Xavier’s protest, Jacqueline began leaving work early and trailing Malcolm around town. After three weeks, she discovered that he was spending copious amounts of time with a young, dark-skinned woman. But it wasn’t until Jacqueline stormed into his hotel suite and found him in bed with his mistress that she filed for divorce.
Xavier remembered that afternoon with acute clarity. Jacqueline had called him at work, sobbing. The more he tried to calm her, the harder she cried. Xavier had signed out at the office and left the school immediately. He spent the rest of the night, and the weeks following, comforting his sister. He helped Jacqueline move out of the house she shared with Malcolm and into his place. One of the women at Jubilee Christian Center, who was also going through a divorce, took Jacqueline to a women’s support group, and six months later, she was back to being her old self. As luck would have it, she met Andrew soon after at a church fellowship service.
The faint lights of the wall sconces cast an angeliclike expression on Ebony’s face, although bitterness underlined her eyes. In the time they had been dating, she had never given him any reason not to trust her. Men approached her constantly, offering dates and even gifts, but she didn’t respond to their advances. She was his woman, his love, his life and he wanted her with him on a permanent basis. But first, he had to talk things over again with Jackie. “Ebony, I love you with all my heart, but if Jackie isn’t going to be okay with us being together, then…”
“Why does she get to decide our future?”
“Because she’s my sister!”
Ebony couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He’s willing to throw away what we have because his sister has a problem with it? I haven’t seen or spoken to Malcolm in years. I’ve moved on and changed my ways. Doesn’t that count for something? Ebony wasn’t going to sit around and wait for Xavier to come to his senses. He either loved her enough to stand up to his sister, or he didn’t. “Don’t bother talking things over with Jacqueline, Xavier. I’ll make the decision easy for you. It’s over.”
“Wait! Let me—”
“No, you wait! You’ve been judging me since day one and I’m tired of trying to win your approval. We tried to make a go of a relationship, and we failed. No hard feelings.” But the harshness of her tone suggested otherwise.
“I’ll call you in a few days and we’ll—”
“Don’t bother. We have nothing to discuss.” Ebony shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly. “I guess you were right all along. We are too different for each other.”
Xavier studied her face. Since they’d begun dating, he’d learned to look beyond the surface and search for the truth in the depths of her eyes. He wanted to dispute her claims but decided against it. Besides, what Ebony said made no difference. Over the next few days, he would talk things over with Jackie and then go f
rom there. There was nothing Xavier wanted more than to have Ebony in his life, but his sister’s feelings mattered to him, too. In one last attempt to smooth things over, Xavier stepped forward and reached for her.
“Don’t,” she warned, narrowing her eyes. Ebony glanced down the hall, thinking about all the packing she would have to do. Movies were stacked in the entertainment unit, nutrition books lined the last row of the bookshelf, and T-shirts, pants and sneakers crowded the spare bedroom. It all belonged to Xavier. “I’ll have your things ready tomorrow. Pick them up before I get back from work and leave my keys on the kitchen counter.”
“Don’t do this, Ebony,” he said, touching her cheek. Xavier wanted to take her into his arms, which he’d grown accustomed to doing, but if he gave in to his desire he knew there’d be no turning back. And now, more than ever, he needed to think clearly.
“Don’t do what? End a relationship that you don’t want to be a part of?”
Xavier wanted to argue with her, yell at her, tell her she was wrong. How could Ebony insinuate that she didn’t mean anything to him? He loved her and he knew that she loved him too, so why was she doing this? Why was she willing to throw away what they had? Xavier was stunned to learn she had had an affair with Malcolm, but nothing had changed. His feelings for her were still intact. Xavier didn’t know how to keep the peace in his family and have Ebony in his life, but he would do everything in his power to have both.
