by Ann, Jewel E
That voice in his head, the one that guarded his testicles, yelled, “Man-up or maybe give her a little reminder of what you came to show her.” Sometimes it felt impossible to rehabilitate from the man he used to be. Perhaps a man who never entertained the company of a woman beyond sex could not be rehabilitated or domesticated.
“I washed Woody.” But he tried anyway.
“Oh …”
“Woody is my car.” Jillian would have been laughing her ass off.
Ryn nodded. “Well, I’ll have to take a look at Woody.”
Planting his elbows on the table, he dropped his head into his hands. “Jesus … why is this so hard?” He lifted his head. “I didn’t wash my car. That…” he gestured to the refrigerator “…that’s what I came over to show you.”
The unfamiliarity of giving a damn about what a woman thought, left him blind to the truth. Falling for her didn’t happen all at once. It took him without warning—an unsuspecting culmination of a hundred tiny things. In that moment it was the way her smile grew in minuscule increments until her whole face beamed with sheer happiness.
“I liked that. A lot.” She blushed but never took her eyes from his. “In fact, I’m okay with you coming over anytime to show me that.”
The same woman twice. That would be a first—a good first.
“Oh, here I have something for you.” Leaning to one side, he grabbed the black envelope from his back pocket and handed it to her.
“Black huh? This must be my belated birthday card.” She opened it.
“Shit. Your birthday. Well … no that’s not it. I brought flowers, remember? And then dinner—”
With a slight head shake, she tracked the words on the invitation. “You want me to buy sex toys?”
“What? No.”
Tilting her head, she pursed her lips. “That’s fine. You’re right. I probably could use some practice.”
“God … no, that’s … it’s … my neighbor invited you because she wants to meet you. Lascivio is the company Jillian works for.”
“Oh, okay.”
“So you’ll go?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“You don’t have to buy anything.”
“I’m not going to show up and then not buy anything. I’ll get something.”
“Like what?”
Ryn smirked. “I don’t know. Do you have any suggestions?”
He raised a single brow. “Maybe a candle?”
Gathering their plates, she took them to the sink. “I’m not going to just buy a candle at a Lascivo party.”
Jackson carried the rest of the dishes over to her. The fact that she gave careful consideration to purchasing sex toys confirmed he’d been off his game earlier.
A do-over. That’s what he needed to prove that nothing Lascivo sold would compare to him.
“Tell me what you think you want and I’ll prove you don’t need it.”
She closed the dishwasher and leaned against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. “And how exactly are you going to prove it?”
Holding up both hands, he spread his fingers wide. “Sharp teeth, one tongue, two lips, ten fingers, and a very large cock. Take your pick.”
A blush crawled up her neck, slack jaw, lips parted.
Jackson smirked. Yeah … he still had it.
Chapter Seventeen
Day
Samovar defined tea at its best. Jessica loved stealing the occasional evening with her dad working in his garage, but she also cherished Saturday morning tea with her mom.
“How’s my girl?”
A smile overtook her face as she poured her favorite Golden Phoenix Oolong tea. “In love, Mom. But you already know that.”
Sunny winked. “Yes. I do. Have you been making any other progress?”
The other progress always referred to her past.
“I think so. He still devotes several hours three times a week to listening to me. Sometimes it’s just going over what we’ve already talked about and other times he asks me the harder questions.”
“Like what?” Sunny bit into her scone.
“Like things that involve G.A.I.L.”
“If you two get married—”
“I know.” Blowing on her tea, she took a cautious sip. “And we will someday because he is … everything. With each passing day he becomes my new past, and I feel like eventually he’ll be the only past I need. It’s ridiculous, I’m sure, but I wonder if our life together can erase those memories. You know what I mean?”
“I think so. I hope so because I love who you’ve become with Luke. Each week, more and more, the woman before me resembles the girl I used to know: that innocent smile, the renewed sparkle in your eyes—amber like the desert sun.”
“It’s my boys. It’s all my boys.”
Sunny grinned. “How does Luke feel about being referred to in the same company as the dog?”
“The dog? You know Jones is our baby. In fact, my boys are meeting me here in a little while for a jog.”
“Jude said you wouldn’t take him to obedience school.”
“I see Luke’s been running his mouth.” Jessica rolled her eyes. “I did take him. He just didn’t fit in.”
“I heard it’s because you gave him a treat even when he didn’t do what he was supposed to be doing.”
“Mom, the other dogs were being rewarded and he saw it. I didn’t want him to feel like he was being punished.”
“Well, if he wasn’t following directions like the other dogs then maybe he really didn’t deserve a treat. If you don’t make him work for the reward, then the reward system won’t work.”
“Now you sound like the instructor. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t return after the first day because all the other dogs were giving Jones a complex.”
Sunny held her tea cup, letting the steam rise near her face while she studied Jessica. “How’s the sleeping going?”
“You mean have I put him in the hospital?” It felt impossible to look her mom in the eye.
“I’ve never blamed you for what happened to me.”
“What happened? Are you serious? I happened to you, that’s what happened. Don’t make it sound like you fell down the stairs.”
“It was an accident.”
Pain gripped Jessica’s heart as her mom’s hand rested on hers.
“Luke’s fine. We’ve sort of figured it out.”
“I’m glad.”
She nodded.
“Your father will be flying out to D.C. for the week so I’m going to visit Cathy while he’s gone.”
“I can’t believe you’re still friends with her.”
“We’re still friends because she has been my friend since first grade. It’s not fair to judge her.”
Jessica guffawed. “She cheated on Daniel with. His. Brother.”
Sunny stared at her tea. “Yes, but it’s not that black and white. You don’t know all the details.”
“You’re right. It probably isn’t, but I don’t want to know the details. Cheating is cheating, period.”
“Love is reckless because true emotions are immune to logic. The most beautiful love stories are often the most tragic.”
“God, I hope not. I want my love story with Luke to be beautiful, but not tragic.”
Sunny’s lips pressed into a smile that failed to disguise her concern.
“What is it?” Jessica asked.
Her mom shook her head. “Nothing, dear.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” She looked out the window. “There they are.”
Jessica waved at Luke then stood. “Safe travels. Call me when you get to Cathy’s.” She bent down and kissed her mom on the cheek.
“I will. Love you, Jess … and hey…” she grabbed her hand “…I hope you know, I guess I hope you’ve always known. What happened after you came home from the hospital … I forgave you the moment it happened. I’ve always forgiven you. Okay?”
Tears stung her eyes as she looked
to the ceiling, blinking them away. “Thank you. I love you too.”
*
“Hey, boys!” Jessica beamed as she began to squat down.
“If you kiss the mutt first, you can forget about kissing me.”
Wetting her lips, she stood back up and wrapped her arms around Luke’s neck, holding on tight as he lifted her up. Luke kissed her whenever, however, and wherever he wanted—except his office. They’d had more than one argument about that.
“How’s our girl?” He nipped at her neck before sliding her back down his body.
“I’m good. You could say I threw another shovel of dirt onto my past.”
They held hands and walked toward Yerba Buena Gardens. “How so?”
“My mom forgave me for the attack that put her in the hospital.”
Luke squeezed her hand. “She hadn’t before now?”
“She did right after it happened and many times since.”
“Today you forgave yourself.” His words stopped her. Jones tugged at the leash while Luke bent down, level with her face.
“How did you know?” she whispered.
Cupping the back of her head, he pressed his lips to her ear. “I have a degree in psychiatry.”
“That makes sense.” She smirked.
“Luke? Is that you?”
He turned toward the woman’s voice as Jessica stepped to the side to see past him.
“Jones!” Jessica chased her disobedient dog after Luke dropped his leash. He just … let go of it. “Dammit, Jones, come back.” Thankfully, another dog captured his attention allowing her to grab the leash. After giving the other dog’s owner an apologetic smile, she tugged Jones toward Luke and the tall blonde in a black, short-skirt business suit, with a good mile of legs and stupidly high heels, who happened to be embracing him.
“Excuse me, sir, I think you lost your dog.” Jessica grinned with bared teeth as the blonde pulled away and adjusted her messy bun of hair while giving Jessica a coy smile.
Luke grimaced, taking the leash in one hand and Jessica’s hand in his other. “My apologies. Jessica this is Dr. Eva Lorenzo. Eva this is my girlfriend, Jessica Day.”
His girlfriend. With a quick look up at him and the hint of a smile, she forgave him for the dog-chasing incident.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Eva extended her hand and Jessica released Luke’s to accept it.
“You too. Are you in town for the medical conference at the Moscone Center?”
“How did you know about that?” Luke asked.
“While I waited for my mom at Samovar, the waiter said they’d been pretty busy because of it.”
“Yes, I am in town for it.” Eva said to Jessica while looking at Luke.
An awkward silence followed.
“Did you go to medical school together?”
“We did.” The grip Luke had on her hand tightened with his answer.
The conversation, if it could really be considered that, felt strained and odd.
“Eva was Fran’s roommate in college.”
Another awkward silence while the two much taller people stared at each other.
“Well, that makes sense. I don’t know who Fran is, but—”
“She was my fiancée.”
Eva nodded, casting her eyes downward for a moment. Maybe it wasn’t such a relief that she caught Jones so fast. Missing the most uncomfortable conversation ever would not have been a bad thing.
“I can take Jones and head home if you two need a few minutes alone to talk behind my back or reminisce about your engagement with Fran.”
Eva’s eyes widened as her lips parted. Not so much as a flinch came from Luke. He knew Jessica’s inappropriate humor and he’d perfected ignoring it.
“It was good to see you, Eva.” Luke gave into Jones’s incessant tugging and pulled Jessica with them.
“I’ll give Francesca your best.”
Luke kept walking, failing to acknowledge Eva’s parting comment.
“I’m sorry.”
Jessica’s legs sped to a jogging pace to keep up with Luke’s long strides. “Why are you sorry?”
“I’ve not told you anything about Fran, including her name. I put you in an uncomfortable situation back there and I should not have.”
“Luke, I’m fine. It’s not like I didn’t know you were engaged. I just don’t understand the weird looks you two were sharing.”
“While you were chasing Jones she told me something and I had trouble processing it.”
“Can I ask what she told you?”
Luke stopped so abruptly Jones’s momentum jerked his arm, causing him to flinch. “You can ask me anything. You know that, right?”
That was a good question. Jessica couldn’t say for sure why she’d never pressed Luke for information about his ex-fiancée. Had she been so self-absorbed with her own past that she didn’t think Luke might have needed to discuss his?
“I think so.” She nodded, narrowing her eyes a bit.
They continued toward his condo.
“Fran is on the heart transplant list,” Luke said in a Dr. Jones matter-of-fact way.
“Why?”
“She has congenital heart disease. I think she had two, maybe three surgeries as a child. For years she was fine.”
“So what happened?”
He shrugged. “Eva didn’t go into detail other than to say Fran needed a transplant because the medications are no longer working. Sometimes there can be scar tissue from childhood surgeries that can cause problems later in life.”
“Where does she live now?”
“Scottsdale with her parents.”
“Maybe you should go see her. Do you want to go see her?”
They stepped into the elevator. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because you said I could ask you anything.”
Easing his head back against the elevator wall, he closed his eyes on a heavy sigh. “I don’t know.”
Jones looked up, cocking his head.
“Why did you get Jones for me?”
Luke’s brow furrowed then he opened his eyes.
“I thought you’d like him.”
Jones shifted his head tilt to the opposite side. Jessica puckered her lips and blew him a kiss. “Don’t worry, Jonesy, I love you.”
The elevator door opened. Jessica and Jones followed Luke into the condo.
“So you, who thrives on order and cleanliness, just thought, ‘Hey, I think I’ll get Jessica a puppy,’ for no particular reason?”
“Why are you asking me this a month later?” He grabbed a Heineken from the refrigerator.
Luke drinking before noon gave her an uneasy feeling. “It’s crossed my mind quite a bit, especially since you call him ‘mutt’ and I think he’s given you a few gray hairs.”
“Maybe I wanted you to stop calling me Jones.”
She hopped up on the counter. “I don’t buy that.”
A long pull of beer bought him time to reply. “Dogs can be therapeutic.”
“Jones is part of my therapy?”
“Yes.”
“How so?”
“You’ve referred to yourself as a monster. Jones brings out your nurturing side. Monsters don’t nurture.”
“So it was a test to see if I’m truly a monster?”
Luke shook his head. “Yes,” he answered, thick with sarcasm.
“Tell me about Francesca.”
Chuckling, he set his beer onto the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re asking a lot of random questions today.”
“I’m not. They’re all about you. I’m just trying to figure out how you tick. It’s my turn to ‘study’ you. That’s not random. Besides, ‘Tell me about Francesca,’ is not a question.”
“What do you want to know?”
“My God, Dr. Jones … you’d make a terrible patient.”
Talking about Francesca evidently required a second beer. Jessica frowned while he retrieved another one from the refrigerator.
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“I saved Fran from a burning building.”
The pads of her fingers drummed her lower lip, eyes wide. She laughed but it came out as a cough. “You’re joking.”
“It was my sophomore year of undergrad while I was still a volunteer firefighter. She lived with three other girls in a rundown apartment building. There had been a party in the apartment below them. Someone fell asleep or passed out before putting out their cigarette. Her friends were all out of the building by the time we arrived, but Fran went back for her fish.” He shook his head. “A fucking gold fish in a bowl of water.”
“And you saved her?”
“And the fish from the third floor window. The next week she dropped off a cookie bouquet at the fire station to ‘her hero.’”
“So you ended up dating.” Hearing every little detail felt unnecessary and a bit more nauseating than she anticipated.
“For a year before I proposed.”
Of course she wanted to know how he proposed. Did he get down on one knee or two?
“What did she do?”
“She said yes.”
“No. Her profession.”
“Oh, she was in school, too, at the time. She became a court interpreter.”
“Long hours. Stressful job.”
Staring at the label of his beer, he nodded.
“Who broke off the engagement?”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “I’m not sure.”
That answer fizzled her desire to know anymore at that point.
“We didn’t get our run in, so I might go for a bike ride. You want to come?”
“No more questions?” He finished the second bottle of beer.
The beer chugger before her looked like Luke, but his actions were that of someone much different—someone teetering on the edge of control. But why?
“No. But if you need to talk I’m always ready to listen.”
Beer number three. Jessica declared it an official what-the-fuck moment.
