by Ann, Jewel E
“You need to eat?”
Knox must have heard her stomach.
“I’ve been offered maggot-infested dog food. I’m good.” She looked down at the IV still in her hand. “She’s keeping me hydrated. I’ve been pissing myself quite regularly, which I’m sure you can smell. I’m so fucking constipated, if I make it out of here alive I’ll die trying to shit the redwood-sized cement turd that’s backed up in my colon.”
Knox chuckled. “Always such a lady.”
“Funny, coming from the guy who preached his training facility had to be gender neutral because the enemy killed indiscriminately. I act like a lady in the presence of a true gentleman.”
“Let me guess. I’m not a true gentleman?”
“You raped me.”
“You let me.”
She glared at him. All those years she knew he didn’t look at it as rape. It’s the same reason she didn’t—until working with rape victims. Until Luke.
“You had me pinned naked to the ground.”
“You could have escaped. I didn’t hold you down. Your fear did.”
“Two hundred pounds of fear.”
He shrugged. “I saved your life that day and you know it.”
“Is that how you sleep at night? Is that how you justified yourself worthy of my mother?”
“You killed Edwin Harvey and Matthew Green because I took away your fear that day. You weren’t a victim. I gave you power that day.”
“I beat the shit out of you. I had power, dumb fuck. Just ask the paramedics that hauled your ass out of the building.”
“You had skills, a gun of sorts, but you never would have pulled the trigger. I showed you how to shut off your mind and pull the trigger. You’re no longer a victim. Even now, look at you. You’re a starving bloody mess. I see the anger in your eyes. I bet Edwin saw it too, but he didn’t believe it. You hated him but if it weren’t for me, you never would have killed him, not with forty-four slashes to his body.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I know you better than anyone. You like the taste of blood and the control that comes with it. That’s a part of who you are now. A wedding dress, a fancy apartment in the city, and a big-ass dog won’t change that.”
“No, but killing you and your Frankenstein bride might cure what ails me. I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I plan on testing my theory.”
He shook his head. “You’re going to die in that puddle of piss, sweetheart, and there’s nothing you can do about it. If someone removed you from your bindings right now, you wouldn’t be able to stand up, let alone kill anyone.”
“Get her to let me go and we’ll just see what I can do.”
“As you can see…” he looked down at himself, completely bound “…I’m not her favorite person either. I don’t anticipate her heeding my special requests to let you go.”
“Then go ahead and tell me.” Jillian closed her eyes, feeling a wave of nausea seize her stomach.
“Tell you what?”
“Make me see what my mother saw in you, because right now I hate you and that makes me hate her for loving you.”
*
Sunny
Knox met Sunny in kindergarten. Sunny’s bright smile matched her name, just like the ribbons she wrapped around her strawberry pigtails matched the dresses she wore with the same pair of red Mary Janes.
The disheveled ginger-haired boy followed the pig-tailed angel around like a puppy on a leash.
“Knox is a funny name.” She giggled.
He did too. “My mama’s grand pappy’s name was Knox. She says it’s a strong name because Grand Pappy was a war hero.” He spoke with a lisp from having his two front baby teeth knocked out by his drunken father.
“Sounds like rocks.” Sunny giggled more as the other kids chased each other around the schoolyard. Occasionally one would tag Knox or Sunny, not realizing they weren’t playing. They had more important things to do, like figuring out a better name than one that rhymed with rocks.
“If you let me give you a new name, I’ll let you kiss me.”
Knox would have adopted dog poop for a name if it meant he could kiss the most beautiful girl in the world. However, his mama taught him to stand up for himself, even if she didn’t standup to his mean daddy.
“I’ll let you give me a new name if I get to kiss you every day until I turn six.” He beamed at her with a toothless grin.
“When do you turn six?”
“My birfday is tomorrow.”
Sunny gave his offer careful consideration then she shrugged. “Okay.”
Before he could register her answer, she leaned in and kissed him on the lips and then it was over. He wasn’t ready. He was supposed to kiss her, not the other way around.
She giggled. He loved her giggles. His mama took him to church every Sunday, but not once did his Sunday school teacher talk about angels giggling. He couldn’t wait to tell her that he’d heard one.
“Mickey.”
“Mickey?” He lifted his shoulders.
“Your new name is Mickey. Instead of Micbra. Or Fox instead of Knox.”
Knox laughed, holding onto his belly. “You said Micbra.”
“That’s what our teacher said. Knox Micbra.”
“McGraw. My name is Knox Duncan McGraw. Not Micbra.”
Sunny twirled her pigtail around her finger, head cocked to the side. “I’m gonna call you Mickey because I kissed you.”
*
From that day forward Sunny and Mickey were inseparable. She loved his red hair that was darker than hers. He loved her red Mary Janes that she wore every day. They both loved the small block that separated their houses—a wonderful discovery that happened on the walk home from school the first day.
That one kiss turned into a daily occurrence. Just one. Always in the schoolyard. Never lasting more than one second. By the fourth grade Mickey made Sunny promise to marry him. She agreed. They were up to two kisses a day and holding hands when adults weren’t looking.
At the beginning of seventh grade, Sunny agreed to not question the bruises and occasional fat lip Mickey received from his father, if he promised not to say anything about the “period pads” in her school bag or the bras her mother insisted she wear. Their kisses lasted longer, at least longer than any of their friends who had started kissing. But in all fairness, for seven years Sunny and Mickey had been kissing and sharing food, germs, and colds, even the chicken pox.
“My parents are taking me and my sister to New York over Christmas break. My aunt and uncle live there.” Sunny grimaced.
“Sounds like fun. Can I hide in your suitcase and go too?”
Sunny shook her head. Her worried expression deepened along her brow.
Mickey laughed. “I’m kidding.” He leaned in to kiss her as they sat on the couch in her basement, studying, aka their time to make out.
She pulled away before his lips touched hers. “My parents know we … kiss.”
“You told them?”
She rolled her eyes. “No. But when my mom asked me, I didn’t lie to her. She’s not stupid, Mickey. We’re always sick at the same time with the same thing. We’re attached at the hip. Two plus two equals four.”
“So? Are we in trouble?”
Sunny shook her head.
“Oh. Good.” He leaned in again and again she denied him by turning her head to the side.
“We’re not in trouble. But I’ve been banned from kissing you until we get back from New York. My mom doesn’t want me getting sick.”
“I’m not sick.”
“My mom’s a nurse, Mickey. She said you’re usually contagious before you ever have symptoms. It’s just a precaution. Don’t be mad.”
He sighed, flopping back on the couch. “Can we still hold hands?”
“Yes.” She giggled and it still sounded like an angel giggling—the most beautiful sound in the world.
He smiled, reaching for her hand. She moved it.
“But we have to wa
sh our hands both before and after.”
He grabbed his backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and went home. He lived by his father’s stupid rules: take out the trash twice a day, clean both bathrooms even if they’re not dirty, make your bed, do the dishes, and never let the old man run out of beer before setting a new one on the side table next to the chair he sat in when he wasn’t at work. With Sunny there had been no rules, until New York. Stupid New York.
*
The words “I love you” were shared on many occasions over the years, but they took on new meaning by the time they both turned sixteen.
Sunny was a straight-A student and a cheerleader for basketball and football. Mickey played point guard and quarterback. All the anger he carried inside from the constant abuse got released in the game. He showed no mercy. Coaches favored him. His opponents feared him. But Sunny loved him—truly, madly, deeply.
“Promise me we’ll get married as soon as we graduate.” He rested his head on her lap as they watched TV in her basement.
She feathered her fingers over his buzz-cut hair. “I want to go to college, Mickey.”
“Married people go to college.”
“What if we don’t go to the same college?”
“I’ll go wherever you get accepted.”
Her legs vibrated from her laughter. “You sound pretty confident that any college that accepts me will also accept you. Need I remind you I’m a straight-A student?”
He grabbed right above her knee and pinched it hard until she jumped with a squeal. “No. I think you remind me of that every day, smarty pants. Need I remind you that I have tons of scouts looking at me for both basketball and football? As long as I keep my grades up, I’ll have my choice of schools.”
“And you’re going to choose whatever school I go to?”
“Yep. I go where my wife goes.”
“I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think my dad is going to give you his blessing to marry me before I even start college.”
“We’ll be adults. We won’t need anyone’s blessing.” He turned his head in her lap and inched her shirt up just enough to expose her bellybutton.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a breathy voice.
“Kissing you.”
“Kissing my belly?”
He nodded, softly kissing her bellybutton once before dipping his tongue into it.
She swallowed hard as her abs tightened.
“You’re so beautiful.”
“Mickey …” she whispered in a weak protest as his hand inched up her shirt.
Touching her felt right, natural, and perfect. He’d loved her forever and he would never stop loving the angel he met over a decade earlier. There had never been anyone else and the only thing he was absolutely certain of in his sometimes-miserable life was that there would never be anyone else.
His thumb brushed over the thin material of her bra and his tongue continued to trace along her belly.
“We … we should … stop.”
His lips pulled into a smile against her soft skin. Her words were less than convincing as she arched her back into his touch.
He dipped his thumb under her bra, circling the pad of his thumb over her hardened nipple. Her full red lips parted as soft puffs of breath escaped. Their eyes locked.
“I want to put my lips where my thumb is.” His voice took on a deep, unfamiliar tone.
They’d kissed, hard and long with lots of tongue. He’d touched her breasts and butt on the outside of her clothes, but that’s as far as it had ever gone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d left her house without a raging hard-on. The shower had been his best friend. He jacked off then turned it to straight cold because that one release was never enough for his out-of-control hormones, but it was all he had time for before his father would threaten to knock the door off its hinges if he didn’t stop “wasting so much water.”
Sunny’s breaths chased one another. She swallowed again and nodded.
His mouth worked its way up to her bra. It was torturous. His dick was so hard, pulsing painfully against the confines of his jeans. But he wanted to take it slow with the girl that he loved more than anything or anyone else—the women he would someday marry.
Easing the cup of her bra down to expose her cherry nipple, he covered it with his mouth. She moaned then sucked in a breath as if someone could hear her, but her parents took her sister and a friend to a movie. Mickey knew it was just the two of them for another hour and a half.
“Do you like this?”
She opened her heavy eyelids. “Yes,” she whispered, wetting her lips.
He held her gaze, a silent permission, as he pulled down the cup on the other side. Gently rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger a few times, he watched her eyes close again. Her hands clenched at her sides. He felt it too. The most painful pleasure. It had been building for several years.
“Mickey …”
He sucked her nipple.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Yes … no … I don’t know.”
“Touch me, Sunny. Please,” he whispered his desperate plea around her breast.
“W-where?”
He took her hand and guided it between his legs. She didn’t move for several seconds and he didn’t force her any farther, but he couldn’t keep himself from making small thrusts into it. When she finally curled her fingers around the bulged denim, he groaned and nearly came right there.
“Ow!” She tensed.
“Sorry, baby.” He lapped his tongue over her nipple after biting it when she squeezed him.
“I’m just so damn turned on and I want you to touch me, but it’s almost too much.”
“Mickey, I love you, but I just don’t know if …”
“You don’t want to have sex. It’s okay—”
“No. I’m just … or we, well, I don’t want to get pregnant.”
“What if I buy condoms?”
“What do you mean ‘what if you buy condoms?’”
He chewed his lower lip for a few moments. “I mean, can we have sex if I use a condom or I’ll wear two even … hell, I’ll wear ten if it means we can …” He kissed the slight swell of her breast.
She grinned. “I think one is sufficient.”
He mirrored her grin. “Is that a yes?”
Sunny nodded slowly. He was ready to run out right then and buy condoms, but by the time he’d return their alone time would be about up.
“Take your shirt off.”
Her eyes went wide. “I thought we just agreed to wait until—”
He sat up and tugged at her top. “No sex. But there’s a lot we can do without actually having sex.”
Sunny stared at him, then on a deep sigh she lifted her arms.
Mickey grinned a victorious smile as he pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside.
“God, I hope my parents don’t come home early.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “The fear of getting caught makes it that much more exciting.” He reached around and unfastened her bra.
She held it to her breasts.
“I just saw them. I had them in my mouth.” He smirked.
Sunny continued to stare at him.
“Fine. Here.” He shrugged off his shirt.
Her eyes roved over his torso, not that she hadn’t seen it before, but it did feel different with her shirt off too—intimate, sexual.
“I can’t believe how much of a man you’ve turned into.”
He chuckled. “You have no idea.”
She released her hold on her bra, letting it fall from her chest. “Now what?” Her nerves showed through her shaky words.
“I want to take your pants off.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Just your pants, okay. I’ll leave your underwear on and I’ll leave my jeans on. Deal?”
Biting her lips together, she nodded once.
“Yes?”
S
he nodded again.
“Lie back.”
She scooted her body around and lay back on the couch. He unfastened her jeans, keeping his eyes on hers the whole time. Then he slid them down and off her legs.
“You’re beautiful, so very beautiful.”
He nearly orgasmed just from the sight of her in nothing but a pair of white cotton panties, auburn hair fanned around her head. Fear took over her face as he unfastened his belt.
“W-what are you doing?”
“I don’t want to scratch you with my belt.”
“Why? What are we going to do?”
After dropping his belt to the floor, he pushed her legs open. She resisted him for a second then tried to relax.
He kissed his way up the inside of her leg.
She panted as he brushed his nose over her cotton panties, taking a deep inhale before continuing up her body.
“We’re going to practice.” He whispered over her lips before kissing her. As his tongue slid against hers, he rocked his pelvis into her. It wouldn’t take long, he just hoped he’d hold out until she found her own release.
Sunny moaned into his mouth. He slowly rocked into her, vying for every bit of friction he could get. Within seconds she responded to him, meeting him thrust for thrust, rocking her hips and sometimes circling them, searching for that right spot. He didn’t have to search, he was there, waiting on the precipice while praying to God she hurried up.
“There …” she murmured, breaking their kiss as she arched her back and squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh dear God … there …”
He rocked into her three more times, milking her orgasm, then grunting on the final thrust as he came.
They both lay still, breathless. After a few minutes he sat up. Kneeling between her legs. She winced.
“Is that … me?” She stared at the crotch of his jeans.
Looking down, he rubbed his thumb along the dark, wet spot. “Yes, some of it’s you … but I think I’m leaking through as well.” He grinned. “How did that feel?”
She covered her breasts with her hands, her whole body flushed nice and rosy. “Like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”
“Good?”
Sunny nodded, looking anywhere but directly at him or his wet jeans.
“I’m going to give you more of that … for the rest of our lives. I promise.”
