by Tim Tingle
“Think those might be his digging tools?”
“Who knows with Lennie? He might have had a crazy idea to help you dig the hole! He gets crazy notions in his head sometimes. Leave the tools there. I’ll ask him, the next time I see him.”
“Okay, mystery solved! A crazy neighbor.”
Miranda breathed a sigh of relief as she dodged that bullet. So far as she knew, the body was under that pool, and no one knew about it. She was home free! All she had to do now, was clean up the other evidence that the Judge had been there. She had to clean out and sterilize her freezer, and then sterilize her back porch, where she had dismembered the body. She had already disposed of the electric chainsaw, the same day she had used it. She had shoved it deep into her garbage can, and then watched later that day, as the garbage truck came by, its mechanical arms reached out and grabbed the garbage can, and lifted it up and over the opening in the back of the truck. She listened to the hydraulic crushers, as they compacted the garbage, crushing the chainsaw as well. The crushed saw was probably already in the county landfill, and there was no way it could be traced back to her. Even when she had purchased it, she was careful to use cash, so there would be no credit card record that she had purchased a chainsaw. She had also paid for the freezer with cash. Wasn’t she smart? As far as she knew, there was no record at all of her purchasing anything that she had used to dispose of the body. After sterilizing the freezer, she would call the Jimmy Hale Mission, and make an anonymous donation of one new freezer.
As the men worked to finish up the cement work and landscaping for the day, Miranda went into the house to get her cleaners and scrubbers ready to sterilize the freezer. Being a neat-freak, no one would think it strange that she was so diligent in her cleaning. She intended to leave no DNA evidence at all, that the Judge had been at her house.
As she was filling a bucket with hot water from her kitchen sink, the phone rang. The caller I.D. said it was Leonard Kellerman, so she picked up.
“Hello, Lennie.”
“Hello, Miranda! I’m glad to get you on the phone, finally. I thought something must have happened to you!”
“Why would you think that, Lennie?”
“Well, you disappeared while those men were putting in your pool, and I thought, why would she go somewhere while they are working on her pool? I figured you wanted to be there to be sure it was put in right.”
“Oh, yes, you’re right Lennie. I did go to Atlanta late last night. I got a call from my daughters. They had an accident last night. One of them was hurt, so I went over there to see about my babies!”
“Gracious be! Are they okay?”
“Yes. Bruised, but okay. The teen-age boy who hit them was killed though.”
“That’s bad.”
“Yes. Well, why are you calling me, Lennie? I have a lot of cleaning to do.”
“I was wondering how your pool is coming along?”
“Who even told you that I was putting in a pool, Lennie?”
“I saw all the digging machines going up Kellerman Road, and I knew something was up. I rode my bike out there and saw it was you. I went out there this morning and saw them pouring all that cement! It looks nice, real nice!”
“Well, maybe you’d like to swim in it after it’s finished?”
“Could I?”
“Sure, why not?”
“I’d like that! Only one thing, though. I don’t know how to swim!”
“That’s okay. It will have a shallow end. I can teach you how to swim, how about that?”
“Would you really?”
“Sure, why not? Everyone needs to know how to swim.”
“That would be great! I knocked on your door this morning, but no one was there. One of the worker dudes told me to knock on the back door, so I did. I saw your freezer door was open, so I closed it.”
The hair seemed to stand up on the back of her neck.
“Oh? The freezer was open? How much?”
“Only about an inch or so.”
“Well, thank you, Lennie.” This made Miranda wonder if she had left it open, or had someone else been in her freezer? Had someone been snooping? If so, did they see the bits of bone and flesh left by the chainsaw? It was a good thing the body was no longer there, or else she would be in panic mode right now.
“I enjoyed eating lunch with you last week. I don’t get to go to town very often.”
“I enjoyed it too, Lennie.”
“Really? Maybe we can do it again sometime?”
“Yes, maybe. But I’ll be pretty busy for the next few days.”
“Maybe next week?”
“Maybe. I’ll let you know. So, what else is happening on Kellerman road?”
“The Dawson’s have got a new dog. A Doberman! I thought he was going to tear through the fence to get at me the other day! He scared me so bad, that I wrecked my bike!”
“Oh my.”
“Mrs. Olson had to call 911 for her husband. They thought it was a heart attack, but it turned out to be just gas.”
“I see.”
“Your next door neighbor, Judge Rosewood, is still not home. I noticed that his mail is starting to back up in his mailbox. I guess he didn’t think to call and have his mail stopped at the post office before he left.”
“I guess not. You know what? I’ll bet he would appreciate it, if you would collect his mail for him while he is gone.”
“Do you think so?” Lennie asked.
“I’m sure he would. Just put it all in a grocery bag and give it to him when he gets back.”
“Or you could do it for him, Miranda, since you are right next door.”
“Whoever gets it for him, I am sure he will appreciate it. If you do it, he might pay you for doing it.”
“Do you think so?’
“If I were him, I would.”
“But what if he thinks I am trying to steal his mail?”
“I’ll tell him otherwise. He’ll probably be grateful to you for doing it. You can give it to him, or his wife, whichever one gets home first.”
“Yes, I can do that! I’ll go get it right now!”
“Lennie, was anything thawed out?”
“Huh?”
“In my freezer. Was anything thawed out?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t look in, I just closed it.”
“Well, thank you again, Lennie!”
“Any time.”
As soon as she got off the phone, she went to look in the freezer, just to be sure there had been nothing incriminating out in plain view. She raised the lid and looked in. There was the black garbage bag of veggies she had thrown in the night before, right before she left for Georgia. She thought to finish loading it up with bagged veggies, then pull it out and sit it on the floor while she cleaned the freezer. She picked up a bag of English peas and opened the top of the garbage bag, and her heart jumped up into her throat! Staring right back at her, through frosted, unseeing eyes, was the head of Judge Leon Rosewood!
She cried out, she couldn’t help it. But then immediately covered her mouth and looked around, to see if anyone had heard her. If so, they didn’t acknowledge it. Thinking that her eyes were playing tricks on her, she tried to muster up the courage to look again, because she was sure she had buried that infernal head under the gravel, which was now beneath her pool.
They’re messing with me, she thought. Someone saw me bury the body, and is playing a cruel joke on me! They took out the bag with the head in it, and put it back in the freezer! I couldn’t have been so stupid as to put the WRONG bag in the hole! The other bag had nothing but veggies in it. She knew a sure way to find out if it was her mistake, or someone’s cruel joke. She knew that there were only two garbage bags left on the porch when Fay called her. One she took to the hole, and the
other she had thrown back into the freezer. If someone was messing with her, there would be two bags in the freezer, instead of one.
She reluctantly forced herself to open the freezer door, and saw that face again, and she quickly closed the top of the bag, so she wouldn’t have to look at it. She gathered the top of the bag and picked it up enough to see that there was not another garbage bag under the one with the head. Nope. This one was the only one. The only conclusion she could draw, was that it was her mistake. No one was messing with her. It was no cruel joke being played on her. That within itself was a relief, because it meant that no one had seen this head. Her secret was still safe.
So how did such a mistake happen? She had been so sure of what she had done, up to a point. What point? Up till the point that Fay called with the upsetting news that they had been in a car wreck! After talking to Fay, she had come out, grabbed a bag, and took it to the hole. Did she even look inside the bag to see if it was the right bag?
No she didn’t.
Did she even look into the bag left on the porch, to see if it was just veggies, before throwing it back into the freezer?
No she didn’t. In fact, she remembered thinking to herself at the time, that bag was a little heavy for veggies! But did she take the time to look and see what was really in the bag?
No, she didn’t! She was in a hurry to get to Marietta, Georgia, to see about her girls! No one was messing with her. She just got in a hurry, and made a stupid mistake! She slammed the freezer door shut, and put her head down on it. How could I be so stupid? She banged her head on the thin metal lid. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why didn’t I check to be sure all the body parts were in the hole? Stupid! Stupid! I let that phone call from Fay get me upset, and I made a major mistake! Stupid! Stupid! Now what am I going to do? I’ll have to dispose of the head in a different place! She wished Travis was there to give her a little advice. But wasn’t that just like him, to never be around when she really needed him! He’s gone cavorting off to England, to promote his silly book, while I’m left with a real crisis here! She took a deep breath and walked out on her deck.
No, she couldn’t blame this on him. It was all her fault. It was her fault for getting involved with a married man, again! And this time, with a Federal Judge, no less! It was her fault for giving the old man a Viagra, after he had had too much to drink. It was her fault for letting him hand-cuff her to the headboard. It was her fault for involving Travis. It was her fault for not calling the police right from the start, and taking the responsibility, and embarrassment for the situation. It would have been hushed up, because Leon Rosewood was a well respected Pillar of the Community, and a powerful judge, and he had a lot of powerful friends in various places. Those powerful people would make sure that a revelation this embarrassing would never make the news. It would have been reported that he died of a heart attack in his home, and that would be that! There would be no mention of her, or any of the details. Even the Judge’s wife would probably never know the whole truth. True, Miranda’s ex-husband would probably hear about it, but would he jeopardize his career as a deputy by leaking this sordid affair to the media? Not on his life! He knew what side his bread was buttered on! The only reason she didn’t do as Travis suggested, and just call the police, was because she wanted to protect her petty little reputation, as though she were some big celebrity or something! Who in the world even cared about who she was, or who she was sleeping with? Yes, she would be embarrassed, but then it would have been over, because all those people in high places would want to sweep it under the rug as discretely as possible.
But now, because of her stupidity the whole complexion of things had changed, just like Travis had tried to tell her it would. With the Judge missing, it would become a whole different story. She could see it all taking place. There will be a nationwide search for the Judge, and it will, of course, be sensationalized by the media. There will be wild speculation that perhaps he was kidnapped, or that he was murdered as payback for one of his rulings in the past. The FBI will be called in to use their most sophisticated techniques to follow every shred of evidence. Since she is his closest neighbor, she will be intensely interrogated. And so will Lennie Kellerman, the retarded man who is the neighborhood’s All Seeing Eye! Most likely, Lennie will inadvertently give the Feds all the tidbits of information they need to look back to her. And under such intense scrutiny, she was sure she would crack, and confess to mutilating and disposing of the body. But that’s not all. With the body destroyed, how could she then prove that she didn’t murder the Judge? She probably couldn’t. The entire civilized world would not only hear about the case, but her name would be used as the Jezebel who seduced the good Judge, then murdered him, mutilated him, and disposed of his body!
What a mess she had made! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why do I always make the wrong decisions? Here she was, set for life, having won the Georgia Lottery, and there was no reason to think anything would go wrong the rest of her life. And then, in less than a year, she had screwed it all up, by doing this! Her daughters would most likely inherit her fortune, because she was probably going to jail.
Or maybe not. She hadn’t been caught yet! She could still dispose of these parts, and everything still work out all right. But where would she put them? She still had plenty of time, because no one even suspected that the Judge was gone yet. That was the good thing about it. She still had time to put things in order.
She returned to the freezer and dumped out the contents of the garbage bag. Then she picked up the frozen head and penis, and put them back into the bag by themselves. As she was tying a knot in the bag, the thought came to mind, that whoever said that ‘two heads were better than one’, had never found themselves in this predicament, with two heads in a bag, in their freezer. She almost laughed at her little pun, though there was certainly nothing funny about it.
Now, what to do with them? There had to be at least a million ways to dispose of them, and she wanted to do it as soon as possible, but for now, she had to play it cool. There was plenty of time, so why not think about it awhile? She left the bag in the freezer, covered with bags of veggies, until the right method came to her.
16
At 5:30 Sunday evening, Drew and Lois got back to the hotel from their bus tour of London, to find Travis sleeping like a rock, and the alarm clock doing its best to wake him, but not succeeding.
“Oh my gosh! He’s going to be late for that meeting with his publisher! Wake him up, Drew! Shake him!”
“Hey Dad! Wake up!”
“Mruf! What?”
“Get up, Travis! You’re going to be late!”
“What time is it?”
“Five thirty-three!”
Travis jumped up and looked at the alarm clock. “Stupid Alarm clock! It’s been sounding off for thirty minutes, and I couldn’t hear it!”
“Are you late?”
“Not yet, but I have to hustle.” He jumped into his pants, and slipped on his shirt.
“Are you taking your new manuscript with you? They might want to see it too!”
“Yes, Mom, I am planning to take it too. Drew, get it out of my suitcase, while I go to the bathroom. I was planning to take a shower, but I don’t have time.”
Lois sounded just like his mother, when she gave him the direct order. “Go ahead and take a quick one! First impressions are important! If you are a minute late, so what! You don’t want to be stinking up the place! You’re not just representing yourself, you are representing Alabama! What time are they picking you up?”
“Six, in front of the hotel.”
“You’ve got plenty of time! Take a shower!”
There was no arguing with her, so he took a shower, and put on fresh clothes.
“You’re not wearing that, are you?”
“What’s wrong with this?”
“Not formal enough! You want to at least look busi
ness-like, even if you’re not! You look just like a yahoo from Alabama!”
“I can’t do much about that! I didn’t even bring a suit and tie, Mom!”
“Well, you should have!”
“This is just an informal ‘hello’ dinner, to get to know each other. They understand I just got off an international flight! A shirt and pants will do just fine!”
“Okay, it’s your career!”
Drew just grinned at him, as he put on his deodorant, and buttoned his shirt. He’d never heard his Dad being talked to like a kid before, but he knew better than to say anything. At five minutes till six, Travis picked up the bag with his new manuscript, and headed out. Drew and Lois left too, to eat dinner downstairs, with the rest of the group.
Travis felt like a kid waiting on the school bus, as he stopped on the curb. He had no idea who was supposed to pick him up. He had been there less than a minute, when a black taxi pulled up, and the driver asked, “Perchance, are you Travis Lee?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then I am here to pick you up for your dinner engagement! Hop in, sir, and we will be on our way!”
As he closed the back door, the driver asked, “You’re first time in London, Sir?”
“Yes, it is. Very nice city, and country.”
“We like it, Sir. Your destination is relatively close by, so this will be a short ride.” They went about six blocks down the same main street that his hotel was on, and pulled to the curb in front of a very nice restaurant.
“How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing, Sir. Jester Books has already paid me, even the tip!”
“Then thanks for the ride.”
Travis couldn’t help thinking that Jester Books must be a lot bigger publisher than he thought they were, to invite him to dinner at a place like this. Or perhaps they were just trying to make a good first impression on England’s #1 best-selling author. He wished he had dressed a little nicer, especially when he saw that the way the waiter was dressed. It made him look a little shabby, by comparison.
