by Tim Tingle
She put a skillet on the stove, and turned the eye on ‘high’. As it heated, she filled the skillet with vegetable oil, then rolled off a whole roll of paper towels on top the stove. She sloshed oil on them as well, just for good measure. She turned to go, and didn’t look back.
“I found my Bible,” she said to Janice, as she climbed into her Blazer. “Let’s get out of here before my Dad returns from town!”
“Is that blood on your pants?” Janice asked.
Startled by the question, she instantly replied, “Yes, I cut my finger while I was looking in the kitchen, but it’s okay. Let’s get out of here!”
She hated that Janice had seen that blood, but it was okay. She had the feeling that everything was going to be okay after this.
She had been home all afternoon, and had her boyfriend’s house all to herself. Her boyfriend was presently in jail for drug possession, and trafficking, and would probably not be out for awhile, so she had time to think, and seriously contemplate what had happened.
The fact was, she had just murdered her father, and burned his house down, with him in it. She should have felt bad, but she didn’t. For the first time in her life, she felt truly free. There was no need for the booze or the drugs anymore. They were just the band-aids that had covered the open wounds from her tortured childhood. What she had just done, was the cure for all the things that had been wrong with her. Now she felt that she could heal and be a normal person, a normal wife, a normal mother and grandmother, because the cancer, which had eaten away at her soul all these years had been eradicated.
So what now? Well, nothing, if the murder couldn’t be linked to her. She would say ‘take a hike’ to her sleazy boyfriend. She would get a job, rent an apartment, and then set about trying to repair her broken life, by showing her loved ones that she was really cured.
Even if the law caught up with her, and she went to prison for what she had done, at least her soul would still be free, even if her body was incarcerated. In jail or out, she would be a new person, someone that she actually liked for a change.
Having heard the news report, she now looked at herself. She was still wearing the bloody blouse. It was ruined. The blood was dried in, but that was okay. Wal-Mart sold new blouses every day. She went to the bathroom, and disrobed, putting all her bloody clothes in a garbage bag for disposal. She examined herself in the mirror. Hmm, not bad. Her body was still marketable as a sexy lady, as long as she cleaned up her act. She turned on the shower and stepped in, washing off the grime, sweat and blood of her former life, hoping that society would let her have the chance to start anew.
30
Tuesday morning broke much too soon for Travis. He lay in bed, afraid to move, for fear that his head was going to explode. Drew and his Mom had already gone down to breakfast, but he would not be eating anything this morning, and probably not all day. Just the thought of eating anything nauseated him. He rolled over on his side to assess the damage, and only succeeded in liberating a long trumpet-like blast from the neither regions, to which he muttered to himself, “The hang-over afflicted Travis-Bird, usually a shy and elusive creature, trumpets the arrival of a new day!” He laughed at this, but immediately wished he hadn’t, because it made his head throb terribly.
Got to get up. What’s on the agenda for today? Certainly not going to another pub! I swear, that is my last hang-over! I will never drink again!
He got up, and went to the bathroom to get a drink of water for his dry cotton-mouth. Brushing his teeth helped. He pissed another long ‘Yellow River’ into the toilet, as he liberated one more long and impressive trumpet-like blast. Apparently Irish ale was notorious for that. Just how many pints did I drink last night? It was all just a blur. Head still throbbing, he went to the suitcase to get a clean shirt and pants. He emptied out the contents of his old pants on the night stand beside the phone, and saw the hand-written note left by his mother.
“Call Janice when you get in, no matter how late it is. Mom.”
Call Janice? It had better be an emergency. Let’s see. 8am here, minus five hours. It is 3am in Alabama. I’m sure Janice didn’t mean for me to call her at 3 in the morning. I’ll call at noon, that will be 7am at home.
He went down to breakfast, and prepared himself a cup of iced coffee, in spite of how good everything looked. His Mom and Mrs. Parker were sitting together, and Drew and Audrey were sitting together at a separate table.
“Morning kids.” he said as he passed Drew.
“Still alive, Dad?”
“Barely.” He stopped in his tracks. “What time did you get in last night?”
“Before you did!”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. Good job.” He hobbled on to the table with his Mom. “Is this seat taken, Ladies?”
“No, have a seat,” Mrs. Parker said.
“Did you see the note from Janice?”
“Yep!”
“Did you call her?”
“Nope! I didn’t want to wake her at 3am.”
“You were supposed to call her last night.”
“Well, I didn’t.”
“How late did you stay at that bar?”
“No comment.”
“Are you going with us today?”
“Where?”
“The bus leaves in 30 minutes, going to Stonehenge, then on to Salisbury Cathedral, and then Manchester Cathedral.”
“I can’t miss Stonehenge, that’s a highlight for me in England. But after that, I have my second book signing at noon in Manchester. I’ll have to go on ahead of the group after leaving Stonehenge to make it in time. I may have to miss the cathedrals, and get back to London on my own a little later. I’ll try to call Janice when I get to Manchester, before the book signing.”
“She specifically told me to have you call her last night.”
“But it wasn’t an emergency?”
“She didn’t say, but she was upset with me, letting you go to a bar, and letting Drew go out with the girls.”
“Then that’s why she wanted me to call, so she could bawl me out. No, I’ll call her this afternoon, after she has time to cool off.”
* * *
Tuesday morning Miranda got up and reviewed what she had to do over a cup of coffee. It seemed simple, so she got busy. She got out a garbage bag and went to the freezer. She un-piled bags of vegetables until she found the head and picked it up by its gray hair, and dropped it into the bag. It took some hunting, because it was so small, but she finally found the frozen little prick and looked at it scornfully. “This is all your fault!” she said, as she threw it into the bag. She added a few bags of veggies, then rolled it up and took it to her trunk. Then she went into the house to call Lennie.
“Hey, Lennie!”
“Miranda? I’m surprised that you’re calling me!”
“I just called to make sure you took the medicine like you were supposed to.”
“Not yet, but I will.”
“Have you eaten breakfast yet?”
“Naw, I usually don’t eat breakfast.”
“Well, some of the medicine you are supposed to take, is supposed to be taken with food, or else you will get sick.”
“Sick? I didn’t know that.”
“Tell you what, why don’t you get up and get dressed, and I’ll take you to the Huddle House for breakfast.”
“Really? You would do that for me?”
“Sure. What are friends for? Get dressed and bring your medicine with you, and I will pick you up in fifteen minutes.”
“Okay! I will!”
She brushed her hair, and checked herself in the mirror, then grabbed her purse on the way to the door. In ten minutes, she pulled up in Lennie’s driveway, and she pulled in at such an angle that she would have to back up toward the old well. She waited there until Lennie came
out the carport door, and rushed to her car.
“Okay, I’m ready to go!”
“Wait! You’re not wearing that shirt, are you?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“No, no, no! It is dirty, and has a hole in the shoulder! Go back and put on something a little nicer.”
“But this is the best I got.”
“Well, at least go put on some deodorant, so you won’t smell so bad.”
“I don’t got no deodorant.”
“Nothing? No after-shave lotion or anything?”
“Yeah, I got a bottle of that. It’s been on the top shelf since my Dad died.”
“Well, go splash a little of that on your face and underarms, so you will smell a little better.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
“No hurry.”
As soon as he disappeared in the carport door, she popped the trunk, got out and grabbed the garbage bag, and flung it into the well. She closed the trunk, and got back into the car. It took less than ten seconds. She had time to spare, waiting on Lennie to return. When he got halfway to the car, she could smell the overpowering scent of the after-shave lotion.
“Okay, now I’m ready!”
“How much after-shave did you put on?”
“You said splash it on, so I did.”
“I didn’t mean to bathe in it! Good Lord! I can barely breath!”
“I’m sorry, Miranda! I can’t do nothin’ right! Want me to go wash it off?”
“No, you’re fine. We’ll just drive to town with the convertible top down, and maybe the smell will dissipate as we go.”
“Okay!” He got in and smiled at her. “I do smell better though, don’t I?”
“Oh yeah! You smell like a man, Lennie!”
Lennie beamed with delight as they pulled out of the driveway. They let the wind blow through their hair as they drove to town. Lennie was talking all the way, but Miranda couldn’t make out half of what he was saying, because of the wind. She just smiled and nodded.
At Huddle House, most of the early risers had gone on to work, the construction workers, and the salesmen, leaving just a few retired folks scattered about sipping their coffee. “Let’s get that booth back in the corner, Lennie.”
“Okay.”
She ordered something light, to maintain her impressive figure, but she encouraged him to order whatever he wanted, which he did. He ordered the ‘Belly Buster Breakfast’, which included every kind of cholesterol laden food known to Man. While they waited on their order, she laid out his pills for him, explaining what each one was for. Lennie was bubbling over with enthusiasm. Just like a big kid, Miranda thought, as she listened to him babble on and on about things that only a kid would notice.
When the food came, he ate ravenously. As they finished up, he told her that he was ready to go any time she was, but Miranda said there was no hurry. Most of the other customers were gone by this time, and there were several empty tables around them. Miranda felt that the time was right to talk to Lennie, without anyone listening in on their conversation. “Let’s just sit here and talk awhile, Lennie.”
“Okay.”
“I like to just sit and talk with people who I consider to be my friends. You are my friend, aren’t you, Lennie?”
“Of course I am! I’m your bestist friend!”
“What makes you my bestist friend, Lennie?”
“Well, because you help me out, by taking me to the doctor, and you explain to me how I’m supposed to take my medicine, so I can get well. An’ ain’t nobody ever took me out to breakfast before! You must like me or somethin’.”
“That’s right, Lennie. I do like you. And do you know why?”
“I dunno. Why?”
“Because you are such a nice person. You are more sincere than any friend I have ever had! You are honest, you tell me the truth, and the more I am around you, the more I like you, Lennie.”
He blushed visibly, and was at a loss for words.
“I like you, Lennie, because you are so eager to help me out, when I need help. That’s why I don’t mind helping you out, and taking you out to eat every now and then.”
Lennie’s eyes began to water, and he burst into tears.
“What’s wrong? What did I say?”
He shook his head. “Nuthin’! Ain’t nuthin’ wrong! I just ain’t never had somebody ever say such nice things about me! (*sob*) Usually I hear people talkin’ about me when they don’t know I can hear. They talk about how stupid I am, and how dumb I look! And I ain’t stupid or dumb, I just ain’t as ‘smooth’ as some folks are! You’re the first person to say anything nice about me!”
“So stop crying! You’re starting to embarrass me!”
He swallowed hard, and wiped his eyes, and tried to stop.
“Okay, that’s better. You shouldn’t cry because of something good, Lennie. You should smile and be happy.”
“I know. I’ll try. I just don’t want you to be disappointed when I do something stupid. That’s what usually makes people mad at me, when I do stupid things.”
“Lennie, everybody does stupid things sometimes. Even really, really smart people sometimes do stupid things.”
“Really?”
“They sure do! I’m not a real smart person myself, but I do stupid things sometimes.”
“You mean like cut up the Judge into little pieces, and bury him under your pool?”
Miranda couldn’t have been more visibly shocked, if she had touched her tongue to a 9 volt battery. How did he know about that? She tried to contain her surprise, but it was all too obvious. She didn’t know what to say. She looked around to make sure the waitress didn’t hear that, but fortunately she was on the other side of the room, flirting with a trucker. Yes, out of the mouths of babes, come the most simple forms of truth!
“Miranda? Did I say something wrong?”
“No. No, Lennie, you were just speaking the truth, which is why I said I like you. You speak the truth, no matter what it is! But out in public like this, you should be very careful that someone else doesn’t over-hear what we are talking about! This business with the Judge is all top secret, personal stuff, and we don’t want anyone else to hear us talking about it. Do you understand?”
“Okay, so it’s our little secret, huh?”
“That’s right! It’s our little secret, so we don’t want anybody else to know about it. If a waitress, or a customer comes close to us, we stop talking until they are gone. Do you understand?”
“Uh-huh. It’s our little secret!”
“That’s part of being a friend to someone, you help them keep their secrets. So if you want to be my friend, then you need to be very careful about helping me keep my secret things a secret, okay?”
“Sure, Miranda, I can do that!”
“So tell me, Lennie, what makes you think I buried pieces of the Judge under my pool?”
“I saw you. I was watchin’ your house, because . . .”
“Wait a minute! Lennie, I told you one time before, that I don’t like you sneaking around my house, spying on me!”
“I wasn’t spying on you, Miranda! Honest, I wasn’t!”
“Then explain why you were watching my house!”
“‘Cause I didn’t trust those guys you had out there putting in your pool. They were bad men. Some of them said nasty things about you when you weren’t around.”
“Like what?”
“Like, I heard them talking, an’ they was wondering what you looked like naked, and they said all kinds of things they would like to do with you, if . . .”
“That’s okay, Lennie. I get the picture. Yes, those were certainly vulgar men, and I shouldn’t have hired them, but they did a good job with the pool, and they are gone now. So you were watching my hous
e, because you didn’t trust those men?”
“Uh-huh.”
“That is so sweet of you, Lennie! Even though I don’t like you spying on me, I’m glad you were looking out for my safety. That makes me feel special. But you think burying pieces of the Judge under my pool was stupid? Explain why.”
“Well, because I could’a done something with him that was better than that.”
“Really? What could you have done with him?”
“Lots of things. But I would have done one thing different than you did. I would’a left him where he died, an’ called the police!”
The silence was heavy. Even a mental midget like Lennie recognized the right thing to do in that situation. “Okay, I admit it, it was stupid of me not to call the police when the Judge died.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well Lennie, hindsight is 20-20. Yes, I agree that I should have called the police. It would have been the best thing, but I didn’t.”
“So why not?”
Wow. This kid can come up with the hard questions. He should be a prosecutor, Miranda thought. She didn’t want to get into the whole issue of the embarrassment of the situation, but there was hardly a way to explain her actions without telling the truth. And Lennie already knew so much, that she might as well tell him the truth, but maybe with a little twisting of the facts, to make her behavior seem not so bad.
“Well, you see, Lennie, the Judge invited me over to his house for a cup of coffee, so that I could get to know my new neighbors. He made it sound like it was he and his wife, who were inviting me over, so I told him I would be there. However, after I got there, I found out that his wife had just left on a three week trip to Europe, and he was at home alone. This made me feel uncomfortable, because how would that look? A married man, and a well respected judge, at that, entertaining a divorced woman in his home while his wife was away! You have to admit that it wouldn’t look good if anyone found out, would it, Lennie?”
