by Natasha Lowe
Lucy tried for a smile, but her lips felt all stiff and unbendy. She wished the sun would come out, because that always made everything feel more cheerful. And then Lucy realized that the sun was out. It just didn’t shine where she was standing anymore.
WHY DON’T YOU CALL ELLA?” Mrs. Castor suggested later on that morning. “See if she wants to come over and play.” Lucy had been sitting at the kitchen table for almost an hour, staring out of the window, while her mother lay on the couch with Mildred, the vomit bucket, beside her. “You can’t spend the whole day watching them put up that fence.”
“I don’t think Ella is interested in playing with me anymore,” Lucy said, sighing.
“Well, it’s worth a try,” Lucy’s dad said. He was fiddling about inside the back of a clock with a screwdriver. “Maybe you just got the wrong impression yesterday. And Ella always comes over on Sundays.”
“I don’t know.” Lucy worried, but she picked up the phone and dialed Ella’s number, because it did seem odd not having a playdate on Sunday. When she put the phone down, her lip was quivering, and Lucy’s dad gave her a sympathetic look.
“Not going to work?” Mr. Castor said.
“She wasn’t there. I talked to her mom. She’s hanging out with Summer today.” Lucy sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I don’t think Ella has playdates anymore. She’s a hanger outer now.”
“Well, you’ll see her at school tomorrow,” Mrs. Castor said. “I’m sure everything will be back to normal by then.” But Lucy wasn’t sure about this at all.
Lucy spent the rest of the day wandering around the house, looking for secret doorways in the backs of all the closets, but it wasn’t the same without Ella. She sat cross-legged in her closet, trying to conjure up her gnome again. She sat very still with her eyes closed, breathing quietly so she wouldn’t frighten him off. But however hard she concentrated, she couldn’t bring back that magical feeling from yesterday, the feeling that anything was possible. It was as if Ella had taken the magic with her when she left, and all Lucy felt was empty.
By the time Monday morning arrived, Lucy was so anxious about school that her stomach felt as if a pit of snakes had moved in. When she looked in the mirror, she was still most definitely a mouse, and Lucy wondered if she should try wearing a ponytail like Ella and the other sparkle girls. Maybe that would make her feel more bouncy. Brushing her hair away from her face, Lucy gathered it up and stared at her reflection. She gave a squeal of horror. Her ears stuck out like curly cabbage leaves, and she quickly let go, smoothing her brown hair back into place.
“Where’s Mom?” Lucy asked, trudging into the kitchen. It was amazing how different the room felt without the early morning sunshine streaming in, and Lucy glared at Mrs. Minor’s horrible fence.
“Mornings are her worst time,” Mr. Castor said. “So I told her to stay in bed. She can work on kangaroos up there.” Lucy’s mom was researching kangaroos for an upcoming edition of Amazing Animals.
“Mornings are my worst time,” Lucy said, “especially first day of school mornings. Perhaps I should go back to bed too?”
“How about some cereal?”
“How about a nice plate of bacon and sausage and eggs?”
“It’s a school morning for both of us, Lucy, and I’m in charge of breakfast, so cereal or toast, I’m afraid.”
“Mom would have made me pancakes, or muffins, or waffles. Especially on the first day of school.”
“Sorry, Lucy. This is a bit of a change for all of us, I’m afraid.” Lucy noticed that her father’s shirt was crumpled, and he had dripped coffee down his trousers.
“That’s all right,” Lucy reassured him. “I don’t think I could manage bacon and eggs anyway. I may not be having a baby, but I do have a sore tummy. In fact I probably shouldn’t go to school, because it really is quite painful, and it might be an inflamed appendix. If those burst, it’s very dangerous.” Lucy had read all about appendicitis at the doctor’s office, along with the perils of rickets.
“You can call me if it gets worse,” Mr. Castor said firmly. “I’ll come and pick you right up.”
“Well, let’s just hope it’s not too late,” Lucy replied. “How would you feel if I died in gym class?”
Usually Lucy’s mom took her to school, but sometimes, toward the end of last year, Lucy had met up with Ella and the two of them would walk together. It wasn’t far, and Hawthorne was as safe a little town as you could get. Today though, since Ella hadn’t called to arrange this, Lucy’s dad dropped her off on his way to the high school, which made everything feel upside down and strange. Even with her new backpack and pencil box Lucy still felt unprepared, as if she were missing something extremely important and couldn’t remember what it might be.
Her dad leaned over and gave her a quick hug. Thankfully, nobody seemed to be watching. “You’re going to have a great day, Lucy Lopkins. I mean Lucy, just Lucy,” Mr. Castor added quickly.
“Do you think Mom will have made a cake for tea?” Lucy said. “Because that would be something nice to look forward to.”
“I wouldn’t expect one,” Mr. Castor replied. “I think the next few weeks are going to be a bit tough for your mother.” Lucy nodded, staring out of the car window. She had a strong feeling the next few weeks, or months, or possibly the rest of her life, judging by the look of things, were going to be pretty tough for her, too.
Opening the car door, Lucy slowly gathered her stuff. She could see Ella on the playground, standing beside Summer and May and Molly. They were all wearing capri style jeans with long sleeved scoop neck shirts. This must have been decided on in advance, Lucy thought, and she couldn’t help feeling left out. Why hadn’t Ella told her, and why on earth had she worn sweatpants and her favorite, old, soft as butter T-shirt? Clearly this was not the dress code for fourth grade, and Lucy looked around the crowded playground, not knowing who to stand with.
“Hey, Lucy,” Ella called, waving to her.
“Oh, hi,” Lucy called back in relief, hurrying over to the group. They were talking about something funny that had happened at their last dance rehearsal. Molly kept bursting into giggles and saying “I was so embarrassed!” over and over again, while the other girls kept patting her on the shoulder and saying “It wasn’t that bad, Molly. It really wasn’t.” Lucy had no idea what the girls were talking about, and since no one bothered to tell her, she just stood next to Ella, shuffling her feet and feeling uncomfortable.
When the bell went for class, Lucy followed the girls in to the fourth-grade room. They perched on one of the windowsills, swinging their legs and waiting for Ms. Fisher, their teacher. There wasn’t space for a fifth person, so Lucy headed for a desk, stumbling over Rachel Williams’s ancient accordion case that took up most of the aisle. Rachel had joined the school last year in the middle of third grade, becoming the only accordion player in Hawthorne Elementary. This was probably a good thing, Lucy felt, judging from the sounds Rachel’s instrument had made.
“Sorry,” Lucy apologized, scuffing the case with her shoe. It took Rachel, buried in a book as usual, a moment to look up, and she gave a dazed smile, as if she had been somewhere far away. Lucy wished she were far away too, back home in her safe cozy bedroom. Sitting down at an empty desk, she glanced back at the windowsill, hoping Ella would come and sit beside her.
Much to Lucy’s relief Ella did, and in between math and science Ella had smiled at Lucy and asked her what she thought of Ms. Fisher. “She seems nice, but a bit strict,” Lucy said, hoping this might be the start of a proper conversation. She was desperate to tell Ella about her baby news. Ella would understand. Ella always understood. But then Ella had turned to Summer, who was asking her if she wanted to come over to her house before dance class this evening. And Lucy was left looking at the back of Ella’s ponytail.
Recess was even worse. Lucy wandered around feeling like a lost puppy. She stood by, watching the sparkle girls practice their moves for a bit, and then drifted over to
the swings, but the swing girls didn’t seem to notice she wanted to join in, so after a few minutes Lucy left there, too. Rachel was sitting under the big maple tree, reading. It was clearly a funny book because she gave a snort of laughter and pushed her glasses back up her nose. She didn’t seem to mind being alone, and Lucy didn’t want to disturb her. The usual group of boys was playing soccer, and as Lucy walked by she got in the way of Jarmal Johnson’s kick and felt the ball smack her right in the back.
“Sorry, Lucy,” Jarmal called. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Lucy nodded, blinking back tears. She would not cry in front of the whole fourth grade. She would not.
When the bell finally rang at the end of the day, Lucy saw Ella head off with Molly and Summer. She did wave to Lucy and call out “Bye,” but the girls had their arms linked together, and Lucy wasn’t so sure how she felt about one being the best prime number anymore. Right now one felt extremely lonely.
ON HER WAY HOME FROM school Lucy stopped in at the Put and Take. Over the years she had found some of her best treasures here. The Put and Take was a great way of recycling and had earned the town a green star by a local environmental group. The Castors had acquired many useful and not so useful things, including old clocks, a Crock-Pot, and stacks of used books. In second grade Lucy had discovered an oil lamp she was quite sure had a genie inside, and last year she brought home a rather moth-eaten carpet, hoping it might be able to fly, and an old book called Nature’s Magic that she was positive had belonged to a witch. It was full of recipes and remedies using ingredients you might find in the woods, and the handwritten notes in the margin were scrawled in purple ink. Lucy still felt that somewhere, hidden in the pages, were real spells for invisibility potions or stopping time. She just hadn’t found them yet.
So far none of these things had quite lived up to its potential, but Lucy never stopped believing that someday she would unearth something truly magical. Pushing open the door of the Put and Take, she stood quite still for a moment, a little shiver of hopefulness running through her. Lucy saw a chipped, gilt framed mirror, which hadn’t been there on her last visit, lying on the table in the center of the room. Holding her breath she peered over the speckled glass, hoping to see swirls of smoke that might clear and show her where her gnome was hiding. But all she saw was her own freckled face and a pair of rather large ears poking through her uncombed hair.
Lucy reached out a hand, and concentrating hard she touched the glass, wanting to feel it go all wobbly, like water, so she could dive through to another world. But instead of swirly liquid beneath her fingertips, all Lucy felt was the smooth, cold surface of the mirror. Smothering a disappointed sigh, she trudged back out, feeling angry at Ella, as if she were somehow responsible for sucking all the magic out of the Put and Take.
As Lucy passed the O’Briens’ house, a black stuffed bat came flying across the lawn and hit her on the nose. Luckily, it was soft and velvety and didn’t hurt, but it still made her eyes water.
“Sorry,” Sammy yelled, racing after the bat. “NO, don’t touch,” he screamed as Lucy bent to pick up the toy animal. “He’s got evil superpowers. You’ll turn into green goo if you touch him.”
“You’re touching him,” Lucy said as Sammy grabbed the bat by a wing and hurled him back toward the house.
Mrs. O’Brien poked her head around the door; a wiggling Toady balanced on her hip. Lucy watched Billy waddle outside, wearing nothing but a very full, by the look of it, diaper, chewing on the corner of the little cardboard book he always carried around with him. “Sammy, no going into the front yard by yourself, please,” Mrs. O’Brien called out. “And, Billy, upstairs now to get changed. Oh, hi, Lucy,” she added with a smile.
“Hi,” Lucy called back.
“Hi,” Billy copied, pulling the book out of his mouth and waving it in her direction.
“I won’t turn into green goo because I’m a superhero. You’re not,” Sammy said, trampling over Lucy’s foot and charging toward his mother.
“How was school?” Mrs. Castor called out, hearing Lucy come in. She was lying on the sofa with her computer open on her stomach but didn’t appear to be writing anything. Mildred sat beside her, and the breakfast dishes were still on the table.
“I don’t think I’ll be going back,” Lucy said, helping herself to the remains of the vanilla finger cookies.
“Oh, Lucy, I’m sure it will get better,” Mrs. Castor said. “Would it help if I signed you up for hip-hop lessons with Ella too?”
“No, they would all laugh at me. And I don’t want to be a sparkle girl. Perhaps we could read some Hobbit?” Lucy suggested. “Dad wouldn’t mind if we read ahead, and that would help me forget my worst day of school ever. Which,” Lucy finished up, “ended with Sammy O’Brien throwing an evil bat in my face.”
“Not on purpose, I’m sure.”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s just lucky I didn’t need stitches,” Lucy replied. “And I’ll probably have terrible bruises tomorrow. The Hobbit would take my mind off the pain.”
“Oh, Lucy, I’m sorry, but reading makes my nausea worse. It’s hard enough staring at this computer.” Mrs. Castor closed her eyes as if she’d had a really busy, racing around sort of day and was exhausted. “Did you know that when a baby kangaroo is born it’s the size of a jelly bean?”
“I did know that,” Lucy said, sighing. “I read about it in my Book of Strange Facts.”
“I think I’ll take a little nap,” Mrs. Castor murmured. “I can’t stare at a screen any longer.” Lucy thought about climbing on to the sofa too, but there wasn’t room, so she took her cookies out into the yard.
Since there was sun on only one side in the afternoon now, Lucy pulled a garden chair over to the sunny half and propped her feet up on the split rail fence that divided their yard from Chloe’s. She couldn’t bear to look at Mrs. Minor’s fence, so she sat with her back to it. The tree Chloe had been picking leaves from on Saturday was already turning a rusty red color, and Lucy decided that September was not a happy month. Things started to die and change was everywhere.
It was too late to escape when Chloe walked into her yard, carrying a book. She was wearing a long floaty green dress, covered in leaves. They fluttered as she moved, and Lucy couldn’t help staring.
“What are you looking at?” Chloe said, fiddling with one of the many rings in her ear.
“Your dress,” Lucy admitted. She had never met anyone as direct as Chloe before. “It’s the sort of thing an elf princess would wear. But I love it,” Lucy added, to show that this was a compliment and not an insult.
“Do you? Really?” Chloe said. Lucy gave an enthusiastic nod. And then something surprising happened. Chloe smiled. It was a slow, spreading smile that transformed her whole face, as if a light had been switched on inside. “It’s my own design. I made it.”
“Wow!” Lucy looked impressed. “How do you make a dress?”
“I sketched it out, then I bought the fabric and sewed it. The leaves aren’t real, of course. They’re satin, but I traced them using real leaves from our tree, so each one’s a bit different. And I cut up all this ribbon to make a fringe.” Chloe twirled around so the strips of sparkly green ribbon caught the sunlight.
“Oh! Oh!” Lucy gasped, pressing her hands to her cheeks. “Don’t go anywhere, Chloe. I’ll be right back.” She sprung up from her chair, unable to contain her excitement. “I have something amazing to show you,” Lucy shouted as she ran toward her house. She sprinted straight upstairs to her bedroom, picked up the robin’s nest, and ran back out to the garden.
“Look at this,” Lucy yelled, rushing back to Chloe, who had settled herself cross-legged on the grass. She handed the nest over the fence, pointing at the bits of lime green ribbon. “It’s some of your fringe—see!”
“So it is,” Chloe marveled, turning the nest around. “Same silver stripe and everything.” She looked up at Lucy and grinned. “I bet the robins found these in my yard. I often sit out he
re, and I’m always leaving my scraps lying about.”
“And inside, look. It’s your hair. No one else has hair those colors.”
“This is the coolest thing!”
“Some birds will use anything when they build their nests,” Lucy said, feeling a sudden wave of panic in case Chloe had thought the nest was a gift. She held out her hands, but Chloe didn’t notice.
“Gosh, this is woven so tightly, almost like a piece of fabric. It’s magic the way birds can do this.”
“Yes, it is,” Lucy said, waggling her fingers and clearing her throat.
“Oh, sorry, I’m taking too long, aren’t I?” Chloe leaned forward and gave the nest back. Then she picked up her book and showed Lucy the cover. It was The Lord of the Rings, written by the same person who had written The Hobbit. “Lady Arwen is my inspiration for this whole line of clothes I’m designing. She’s an elf princess in The Lord of the Rings.”
“I had no idea you were so clever,” Lucy said, and Chloe burst out laughing.
“You thought I was a high school loser, right?”
Lucy’s ears flamed with heat. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s all right, Lucy. I know what you meant.” Chloe smiled to show she wasn’t annoyed and smoothed out some of the leaves on her dress. “That’s what I want to be though, a fashion designer.” She crossed her glittery green nails. “I’ve applied to Prachets Design College. It’s in Boston.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll get in,” Lucy said, thinking that maybe it was all right to like elf princesses in fourth grade after all. And if it was okay to like elf princesses, then maybe it was okay to believe in magic.
“Thanks.” Chloe tucked some bits of floppy purple hair back behind her ears and started to read.
Before she could stop herself, Lucy blurted out, “Do you believe in magic, Chloe?” regretting the words as soon as they had left her mouth. Chloe would think she was silly and childish, and Lucy looked away, cringing as she heard Chloe laugh.
“Of course I believe in magic. Don’t you?”
