“I agree,” he said.
“Of course you do. You’re always moving.”
“Yeah.” He picked his beer up again. “I mean, that’s why you and I could never make things work between us. Because I was always leaving, and you were always staying here.”
“That’s true,” I said. Why was he telling me things I already knew?
“But, um, now, that’s not a problem. If you wanted to go on the road, you could.”
“I do go on the road.”
“Right.” He set his beer back down again. “Uh, but what if you came on the road with me?”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“Well, if that’s really the only thing that kept us apart…”
I licked my lips. It was true that Logan had run out on me too many times to count. I had gotten sick of waking up in an empty bed, sick of not hearing from him for weeks at a time, sick of his life, which was lived away from me too much of the time. But I had never really considered the idea of going on the road with him, even though that was exactly what I’d been doing with Naelen.
“I think we should at least try it,” he said. “I mean, after everything we’ve been through together, we owe ourselves to give it a shot.”
I opened my mouth to say something. Nothing came out.
“Clarke?”
“You, um, you can barely support yourself on the road,” I said. Logan hustled and played cards and ran credit card schemes and did odd jobs, but he still barely had enough money to keep himself afloat.
“I never thought you were one to care much about money,” he said. “Am I wrong about that?”
“I don’t care about money.” I felt defensive all of the sudden. “It’s only, wouldn’t it be harder to support both of us instead of just one of you?”
“Nah,” he said. “Easier. Two people to run cons.”
“Right,” I said.
He took a drink of his beer, and he didn’t look at me. It was quiet for several moments. Finally, he spoke. “I know you’ve got some thing going with that dragon—”
“I don’t,” I said. “There’s nothing.”
“Well… he wants you,” Logan said. “And I don’t know. Maybe you want him too. If that’s the case, then just tell me, and I’ll back off.”
Yeah, right. I didn’t believe Logan would gracefully bow out for a second. He hadn’t been particularly gracious to Naelen thus far.
Honestly, maybe it would be better to get away from Naelen. Maybe this was a perfect opportunity.
I gazed at Logan. He was beautiful, like a breathing piece of art. He was devoted to me. And we’d been good together. I remembered what it was like to kiss him, to touch him…
I remembered his wings wrapping around us both, cocooning us in warmth and safety and sweetness.
I sighed.
He looked up at me, a small smile playing on his lips. “Clarke?”
I stood up from the couch.
He stood up too.
I stepped around the coffee table.
And then Logan tugged me close. His mouth found mine, and it was familiar and natural to kiss him. His hands knew my body, seeking out my secret spots.
I pressed my palms against his hard, firm chest. He was warm and slick and hard. He was granite come to life.
He dug his fingers into my hips, and his kiss grew desperate and urgent.
Oh. I had forgotten what it was like. I had forgotten how it felt when he wanted me. My breath caught in my throat.
But he released me, stepped away. He was gasping.
I reached for him.
He put up both his hands. “Wait, Clarke.”
“Wait?” What? Why was he stopping this?
“I don’t want sex to sway your decision.”
I furrowed my brow. “I’m confused.”
“Look, you and I both know that we’re good together in bed,” he said. “We fit together. When I’m with you, I feel… drunk on your body, on your skin…” He trailed off, looking at me with parted lips, with longing. Then he shook himself. “But what I’m asking, it’s not about that. I’m asking you to be with me. To be my partner, to share my life. I want us to make love, but it’ll be so much more than that. And if we… touch each other too much, we won’t think straight about it.”
I felt something inside me clench almost painfully. This was exactly what I wanted from Naelen. I wanted him to understand that sex wasn’t everything. That other things were more important.
Logan did understand. So, it was obvious that I should go with him, wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it?
Why did thinking of Naelen make me feel uncomfortable and confused?
“So, take the night and sleep on it,” said Logan. “Alone. And we’ll talk about this tomorrow.”
* * *
My phone was ringing.
I was sprawled out on my bed, sleeping on my belly with my pillow over my head, and my phone was ringing.
Grunting, I reached out for it, throwing aside my covers. I felt around on my bedside table until I found it.
“Hello?” I said in a sleepy voice. My eyes were still closed. It was late, because I had stayed up talking to Logan until nearly the sunrise, and then I’d been awakened in the middle of the morning by some loud music, and I’d tried to get up for the day. However, I’d ended up crashing again, because I was still exhausted.
“Good morning, Clarke. Actually, I guess it’s not really morning. It’s just that I was up late, and I only woke up about an hour ago, and—”
“Naelen?” I croaked.
“Of course it’s me. Who else calls you besides your sister?”
I sat up in bed, opening my eyes. Ugh. I always thought a nap was going to make me feel more rested, but I wasn’t sure it had made a difference. “Actually, I just woke up too. What time is it?”
“Sun’s going down,” said Naelen. “I was going to come after you last night, but it seemed like you really needed your space, and one of the things that I’m trying to do these days—and failing for the most part, I must admit—is trying to make you happy, and so I didn’t go after you. But I want you to know that I wanted to, and I think that—”
“You’re calling me to tell me that you didn’t do what you wanted to do and that’s supposed to make me happy?”
“Well, the truth is, I’m calling to offer you a job, but I felt as if I should address our last interaction before launching into that.”
“A job? Geez, Naelen, I don’t know how I can be more clear. We’re not going to have sex. We’re not going to have a relationship. We’re nothing, okay? So, stop making up these bogus jobs—”
“These jobs aren’t bogus. I don’t know how I can be more clear that my motivation for hiring you has nothing to do with taking you to bed. Hell, that would make you a prostitute, and—”
“What?”
“If I were paying you for sex? Then—”
“I’m hanging up now, Naelen,” I said.
“Wait.”
“What?”
“This job is definitely not bogus. People’s lives are in danger.”
I sighed. “People’s lives are always in danger, Naelen.”
“From rogue dragons,” he said. “That’s what you do, right? You kill rogues?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Okay, well, you remember how I originally thought that Reign had turned into a rogue dragon?”
“Yeah, but she wasn’t. She was just captured by Cunningham. And what does that have to do with anything?”
“Well, you recall that I was going to take her to a lab and try to figure out how to cure her?”
“Sure, that was why I didn’t want to take the job. Because you can’t cure rogues.”
“Right,” he said. “Well… I sort of… already had a lab made.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “After you and I worked together, I had it shut down.”
“Okay,” I said.
&n
bsp; “It’s only that… they didn’t so much listen to me.”
“What? Naelen, what are you talking about?”
“All right, well, perhaps I should start at the beginning. There’s a man. His name is Ezra Harris. He and I went to school together. Undergrad. Yale. Anyway, he went on to become a very capable scientist, and when I thought I was going to make a lab, he was the person I thought of to head it up. So, I hired him.”
“To turn rogues back into shifters. Which you know can’t happen. Because when the shift happens outside of water, the human form is destroyed. And besides that, half of the rogues were never even shifters to begin with. They just exist as monsters.”
“I do know this, Clarke.”
“Sorry. But I’m a little worked up. I told you that if you created a lab in which you kept rogues captive and tried to ‘cure’ them, it would ultimately result in the rogues getting free and killing people.”
Naelen cleared his throat. “Yes, well, you were right.”
“What?”
“You keep interrupting me. Perhaps if I could go back? You see, after I created the lab, I had a few rogues captured for research purposes, and I had Ezra start to go to work on them. And then I went to you in order to hire you to help me get Reign back.”
“You never told me that you had this lab up and running. I mean, maybe I should have put it together from the way you went on about it—”
“Clarke, listen to me,” he said. “Anyway, after we found Reign, I got on the phone, and I told Ezra to end the project, kill all the rogues, and shut down the lab. I cut off funding to it. As far as I was concerned, the project was over. But Ezra was rather intrigued by the whole thing. And unlike a lot of other scientists, he’s the heir to a massive oil fortune. So, when I cut off funding, he simply decided to fund it himself.”
“You expect me to believe you didn’t have this lab up and running yourself, behind my back?”
“Yes, I do, because it’s true.”
I blew out a huff of air.
“Listen, Clarke, I saw those rogues that we fought in the field. I get it. I see what you mean. They’re monsters. There’s no human lurking inside them anymore. So, anyway, I swear to you, Ezra did all this without my knowledge.”
“Okay, okay, whatever. So, the dragons got out?”
“Three of them, apparently,” said Naelen. “They killed Ezra.”
“Serves him right,” I said.
“Clarke, he was my friend.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Really, I shouldn’t have… That was a terrible thing to say.”
“Yes, well, you are right. He shouldn’t have kept the lab open. But, be that as it may, he did. The lab is cut into a high mountain in Colorado, one that is snow-capped year round. It’s very remote, and the dragons are contained inside the lab. But they pose a danger to the people who work there. So, anyway, they need someone to round up those three rogues and I thought of you.”
“They need to kill all the rogues in the lab.”
“Yes, I agree,” he said. “And after we get there, we’ll convince them of that. That is, if you’ll take the job.”
“Of course,” I said. “We have to go and talk some sense into those crazy people.”
“Good,” he said. “When can you be ready to go?”
I considered, looking around my room. It really would have been nice to have a few days to myself to do some laundry or something. But since that wasn’t going to happen… “Uh, can you bring me coffee?”
“Absolutely. You want food?”
“Like what?”
“Well, since you just woke up, you want breakfast?”
“Yes,” I said. “That sounds heavenly.”
“I’ll get take-out at Dusser’s,” he said. “Unless you want donuts? It’s too late for The Fractured Prune, though, so it would have to be someplace else.”
“Oh, come on, Naelen you know me better than that,” I said. I wasn’t a big fan of sweet breakfasts.
“You like The Fractured Prune.”
“Well, yeah,” I said. They had the best donuts in the city. Probably the best donuts in the world. They were only open from six in the morning until noon, though.
“So… bacon and egg sandwich, then?”
“Yes, please.”
“All right, well, I can be there in a half hour. Is that enough time for you?”
“Yup, perfect,” I said. Just enough time to take a quick shower and throw some clothes in a bag.
* * *
When I got out of the shower, Logan was standing in my bedroom, looking at my bed, where I had already started packing.
“Hey,” I said. “Do you knock?”
“For almost ten minutes,” he said.
“So you broke in?”
He held up a key.
Oh, right. I’d forgotten that I’d given him that.
He gestured to my bag. “You going somewhere?”
“Actually, Naelen just called me. There’s this lab where they’ve gotten the crazy idea to try to cure rogue dragons, and—surprise—the dragons have escaped and are killing people. So I’ve got to—”
“Naelen? You’re going somewhere with him? After what we talked about last night?”
I furrowed my brow. “Did you miss the part about people dying?”
“No,” he said. “But there are people dying all over the country right now. And if you come with me, we’ll find some people’s lives to save. Trust me. I do it all the time.”
I sighed. “Logan, these dragons are—”
“It’s not about people dying, Clarke, it’s about a choice. Him or me.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really? You’re going to be like that about this?”
He folded his arms over his chest. They were like two slabs of rock. “There’s no other way to be about it.”
“Um, sure there is. This is a job. Naelen’s paying me, and that’s all there is to it.”
“So, it’s about money, then?”
I shut my eyes. “Look, Logan, I’m not saying no to what you asked me last night. Naelen called me, and I said I’d take the job, so when I get back, we’ll talk, okay? It’s a good thing. It gives me time to think.”
“Time to think while you’re with him.”
“Oh, God, don’t be like that.”
He studied the floor. “I don’t know how else to be. You’re leaving with another guy.”
“But it’s just a job.”
“You like him, though.” His voice was flat.
“Yeah, I like him. He’s a friend.”
“He’s more than a friend.”
“No.” I shook my head.
Logan raised his his gaze to mine. “Don’t lie to me about this. If you’re moving on, make it a clean break. Don’t string me along.”
My shoulders sagged. “Logan, we haven’t been together in over a year. I tried to make it a clean break.”
“If you felt that way, why didn’t you simply say something last night?”
“I didn’t…” I started to sink my hands into my wet hair, but it made my towel nearly come untucked, so I grabbed that instead, clutching it.
“Oh,” said Logan. “Cover yourself, by all means. After all, I’ve never seen what’s under that towel.” He was bitingly sarcastic.
“I need to think,” I said.
“Why?” he said. “You said that the reason you didn’t want to be with me was because I left. But now, we can be together. So, what’s there to think about?”
“You seemed all right with me taking some time to think about it last night.”
He gazed down at his hand. Made a fist. Released it. “Well, do you have to think about it while flying off with him in his private plane?”
I was quiet.
He was quiet.
“I need to get dressed,” I said finally. “He’s going to be here to pick me up any minute.”
“Oh,” said Logan. “Great. Perfect. So, I’m getting shooed out before he shows up, is that it?�
�
I glared at him.
“If you have to think, it’s because you aren’t sure, because you’re trying to choose between us.”
“No,” I said. “No, I know that there’s no possible way that anything between Naelen and me would ever work, so there’s no way—”
“Wouldn’t work?” He laughed bitterly. “So, it’s not that you’re not interested in him, then?”
I hesitated. “I’m not interested in him.”
“Wow,” said Logan.
I winced. “I’m not.”
“You are,” he said. “You’re not fooling me.”
I didn’t say anything.
“But he’s… he’s smarmy. He’s prissy.”
“He’s not prissy.”
“He’s everything we hate.”
“We?” I said.
Logan clenched his jaw. And then, abruptly, he turned and walked out of the room.
I debated simply letting him go. Maybe that was the answer to my dilemma. But he was Logan, so I went after him.
He was out in the living room, staring out my window into the growing darkness.
“Logan,” I said.
He didn’t respond.
“Please, give me some time.”
“Of course.” There was a catch in his voice. “Of course you can have time. That’s the hell of it, Clarke.”
“What do you mean?”
He turned to look at me. “I’m devoted to you. You know that. You can do whatever you want to me, and I’ll still be here, waiting, like a dog begging for scraps. You’re it for me.”
I swallowed. I liked it when he said things like that. It made me feel cherished and important. But there was also a tinge of something vaguely unnerving about it. He was so sure of his feelings for me. Why did I waver? If we were really meant to be, shouldn’t I be as certain as he was?
But I couldn’t let him say something like that and not respond. I didn’t know what to say, so I went to him. I put one hand on his warm, solid cheek. I pressed my soft body into his firm one. And I placed my lips on his chiseled mouth.
His kiss was probing, but gentle. His tongue darted into my mouth. And then he sighed against me, pulling me close, his lips wandering over my cheekbone, my temple. “I love you, Clarke Gannon,” he breathed into my skin. “Choose me.”
I pulled back a few inches, searched his gaze with my own. I loved him too. But I didn’t say it back.
Embers (The Slayer Chronicles Book 2) Page 3
