Clutch sensed the man behind him—he stiffened, reached for his weapon, but he wasn’t going to be fast enough. The man clipped him with the butt of his rifle to the back of his head and Clutch crumpled to the ground. And while the man began to bind Clutch’s wrists together, Sarah stepped out of the car and fired a clean shot right between the surprised man’s eyes.
One down, one to go. And although she didn’t want to leave Clutch out in the open and vulnerable, the sound of the plane’s engines along the deserted runway warned her she was about to lose her chance to catch Rafe.
“Clutch, please, please wake up.” She shook him, tried to untie the ropes with shaking hands until she heard his voice.
“Go, Sarah. Go now,” Clutch whispered, because there was no choice. It would be faster for her to get to Rafe now. “It’s got to be done. Go!”
His tone didn’t leave her a choice. With one last backward glance at him, she ran as fast as she could toward the lights of the plane.
CHAPTER
17
Jake caught Isabelle before she fell.
Her breath came in short, rapid bursts, until he shook her lightly and told her in no uncertain terms that she needed to calm down, sit down and breathe.
She wanted to slap him, and she took that as a good sign. So she sat down instead, pulled on the T-shirt he handed her, then hugged her arms tightly around herself and waited, Jake’s words echoing in her head. You were always safe with me …
Those words immediately brought her back to a time and place she’d resisted letting her thoughts travel to. But now her mind was already reeling and wasn’t giving her the choice of refusal. They were the same words Rafe had spoken to her two months ago, when he’d taken her from the clinic.
“You’re not safe here anymore. You need to trust me.” Rafe hadn’t even let her grab any of her things before taking her arm and pulling her out the back door of her fixed tent and into the night.
He’s doing his job, doing what he was hired to do. She had no reason not to trust him. And she did so, hiding out with the very danger she’d thought she’d been safe from.
She’d discovered after the rescue that he’d kept her hidden for three days—three days as they camped out in the bush she’d cried and held on to him as though he was her only lifeline. He’d planned carefully in order to get close to her again, after months of preparing to kidnap her for ransom.
She wasn’t sure how long they’d walked for, how long Rafe had half dragged, half carried her before finally tossing her across his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and taking off through the hot jungled paths. When he put her down, she saw dawn streak across the sky and realized that once daylight hit, they’d be sitting ducks.
“There’s no place around here to hide,” she said as he began to move aside some brush and she saw that he’d uncovered the doorway to a small hut in the middle of nowhere. “How did you know about this place?”
“I’ve been in this area for a while. I always have a backup plan,” he said. “Get in.”
He’d been rougher to her since she’d stopped sleeping with him—she could understand that and she was still so very grateful he was on her side. She complied gladly, pushed into the small door through the dried brush and stepped into the empty room. Empty. Private. Safe. That was all that mattered now.
Her legs almost slid out from under her, and she grabbed the wall for some support.
“You can sit down.”
“We’re going to be here for a while?”
“At least until nightfall. Maybe longer. Until I say it’s safe.”
“Okay.” She lowered herself to the ground. “Can you tell me … I didn’t notice anything. No one threatened me—”
“The rebel soldiers know who you are, and it’s not your job to notice things like that.”
She looked up at Rafe, found him watching her thoughtfully. “What?” she asked.
“You’re tougher than I thought you’d be,” he said.
“I guess that’s a compliment.”
“When I first met you, I thought …”
“You thought, here’s a woman who doesn’t look like she can hold her own,” she said. “How did they find out who I was?”
Rafe shrugged. “I guess your luck ran out on that end. You’re just lucky it didn’t run out on mine.”
To her horror, the tears that had threatened from the start filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She put her fist to her mouth and turned toward the wall.
Stop it. Just stop it.
But it was too late. She pressed her forehead against the smooth wall.
“You’re okay.” His voice was rough, like he wasn’t used to giving comfort. But she wasn’t in any position to turn it down and when his hands touched her shoulders tentatively, she turned into his arms. Her crying was muffled against his shirt, and she didn’t know how long he let her stay like that before he pulled back. “Toughen up, Isabelle. We’re not done yet.”
She pulled in a ragged breath and moved away from him completely. “Admit no weakness, right?”
“I’m not here to baby you. I’m here to do my job.”
“Fine.” She turned away from him again, lay on the hard dirt floor and cradled her head against her arm. She heard him cock his rifle behind her, was grateful that there was someone to watch over her.
Sleep came in fits and starts. After she’d dozed for an hour, she stretched her tired and sore muscles and then sat up, back against the wall, staring into space while Rafe watched out the small window.
Then she realized she’d quickly go insane doing that. If she didn’t distract herself, and soon, she’d have all sorts of unwanted thoughts. She couldn’t afford a breakdown now.
“Rafe,” she whispered. The only indication he gave that he’d heard her was the shift of his eyes. “It’s a good sign they haven’t found us by now, right?”
“Not necessarily. They could be waiting to make their next move in the dark.”
Fear shot straight down her spine. “Thanks for the reassurance.”
“You’ve got to be patient. You must’ve thought about the fact that something like this could happen to you. No one asked you to come here,” he said. “This is dangerous enough—moreso for a senator’s daughter.”
“So this is my fault? I’m not supposed to have the career I want because of who my mother is?” She felt the vague stirrings of an unfinished fight in her, and she forced herself back to sleep.
Sometime in the deepest, darkest part of the night, when everything was still and quiet, he’d moved closer to her on the floor where she’d slept. She must’ve been dreaming, had heard herself cry out in her sleep and struggle against imaginary bonds. When she’d opened her eyes, still halfway between dreaming and reality, Rafe was pressed against her, cradling her from behind, murmuring in her ear.
“It’s going to be fine, honey. You’re fine. Safe.” And even as he spoke, his hand moved across her abdomen, unbuttoned her pants and his long fingers slid inside her underwear.
She spread her legs for him, the way she had so many times before, during her first month in the clinic, whimpered as he stroked her. “Not strong,” she whispered. “You said I’m not strong.”
“You’re stronger than you know,” he said before he pulled her pants down to her ankles and took her from behind, entering her in one long stroke that made her cry out from the first pinch of pain, and then from pleasure when he rocked against her.
It was sometime after he rolled away from her that she heard the wheels of the Humvee on the dirt path, peeked out from the small hut they’d been holed up in and saw soldiers.
American soldiers.
They were finally going to be rescued. She turned around, now fully awake, to tug at Rafe, but he wasn’t there.
You can’t let this opportunity pass you by.
She stood, prepared to run after the car before it got too far away from them. She’d gone maybe ten feet from the house when she heard the click of
an automatic rifle behind her.
She turned, slowly, hands in the air, only to find Rafe standing there. Pointing a gun at her.
“Don’t say a word,” he told her.
“They’re going to rescue us.”
“No, they’re not. It’s not time yet.”
“I don’t understand,” she said, heard the car come closer, and felt the cold metal of Rafe’s gun pressed against her temple.
“Not. A. Word. I’ll shoot you if I have to.”
She shut her mouth tightly, not able to suppress the whimper that threatened to become a sob. He clamped a firm palm over her mouth and nose to muffle the sound and the tears poured freely down her cheeks.
The rumble of the Humvee faded into the distance, and Rafe finally released her. She moved away from him, and from his gun, wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.
“Why did you do that? You’re supposed to help me.”
“And you’re supposed to have some loyalty, Isabelle.” He housed the rifle in the holster he wore loose, slung along his chest.
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re looking to other people to save you—I’m the one who’s saving you. And now it’s too late.” He motioned for her to come closer, and she saw that he held a pair of handcuffs and other bonds.
“No. Please. I’ll do anything you ask.”
“You brought this on yourself.” He moved toward her and she stayed frozen to the spot, eyes fixed on the handcuffs.
This wasn’t happening.
How could she have been so wrong about him? “What are you doing? I don’t understand …”
“One day, you will, Isabelle. One day soon, it’s all going to become painfully clear that you made the wrong choice.”
“You’re going to hurt me because I don’t want to be with you?” she asked. “Rafe, that’s crazy.”
He grabbed her roughly, but she knew she could still turn this around—he’d told her that he loved her and she could use that love now, even as the thought twisted her insides with guilt and shame.
“Rafe, please, we can fix this … whatever it is that’s wrong.”
“That’s what I thought too. But I’ve let you screw with my plan, my mind, for too long.”
His plan … She had no idea what he was talking about. “If it’s money you need, I can give you money. Is that what you want—to kidnap me for money?”
“I’ll get money, Izzy. And much more.”
That’s when it hit her, like a punch in the stomach. “There was never anyone after me, was there? You took me away from the clinic so you could get me alone like this. There’s no one looking for me.”
“No, there’s no one but me now,” he said.
She walked over to him and pushed his chest hard, not caring about the consequences anymore. He didn’t budge, just grabbed her wrist and held on while she flailed against him. She was no match for his strength and within a few minutes he had her arms pinned behind her back.
He ripped her shirt a minute later, did the same to her pants. Ripped them completely off and left her naked and helpless in front of him.
“Please, Rafe. Please don’t do this,” she whispered hoarsely, but she wasn’t sure he heard her. He blindfolded her a second later, stuffed a gag in her mouth and carried her, half-naked, back to the safe house.
He removed the gag and the blindfold once they got inside, as if he wanted her to watch what he was about to do.
And she knew what he was going to do with her once he was through, understood that with far too much clarity.
“Take these handcuffs off, Rafe,” she told him with the last piece of strength she had. “I won’t fight you.” And he had, right before he pulled her to the ground.
“Tell me that you want me, Izzy,” he whispered.
She swallowed hard, forced herself to smile. “I want you, Rafe. You know that. Please …”
She put her arms around him while he thrust painfully inside of her, in an attempt to make the rape not be what it was, to give herself more power.
She repeated the word no inside her head the entire time.
And when he was done, he had the gun out, pointed at her. But at the last minute, he faltered. And that’s when his rage boiled over, when he beat her instead of killing her. Told her that he didn’t want it to be over yet. That no one had suffered long enough, including her.
“I thought you were the way back,” he told her.
Isabelle hadn’t realized she’d been telling the story aloud in vivid detail as it played out in front of her. As if she hadn’t been the one who’d lived it.
Now Jake had heard the final portion of Rafe’s betrayal. How stupid she’d been.
“Do you understand now?” she asked finally. “I didn’t tell them that I’d slept with him, not that night, not ever. I consented all those times. I consented the time before he raped me. I consented when he raped me too—I didn’t tell him no, didn’t ask him to stop. And I didn’t want to see the look in the eyes of those agents when I told them how pathetically stupid I was. I didn’t want them to know … anything.”
“You stayed alive. You’re not stupid,” Jake said. His voice was different. Hoarse—raw even.
She couldn’t care. It was all lies. “Did you hear me, Jake? I slept with Rafe. Not just while I waited to be rescued, but before that, in the clinic. He was good-looking. Protective. My hero. Isn’t that every woman’s ultimate fantasy?”
“What I saw—the way he hurt you—that wasn’t consensual.”
She raised her eyes to meet his and finally admitted the truth out loud. “No, that last time wasn’t consensual. Not at all. Just like you protecting me.” Jake jerked his head as if she’d slapped him.
Isabelle’s words hit Jake deeper than he’d thought possible.
She’s angry, upset … she doesn’t mean …
“You knew, knew how hard it was for me to trust anyone, and still you lied to me.” She fought for control and lost. “I thought this was a sanctuary—that you were going to help me.”
“It was. I am.”
“All those phone calls I received—those were from him, weren’t they?”
“I don’t know. Probably.”
“Probably,” she repeated, tightened her hands into fists. “Where is he now?”
“He’s still in Africa. Last seen in Burundi. Your uncle had people looking for him … now I do as well.”
“What do you mean my uncle had people looking for him?” she asked and then closed her eyes and held up a hand. “No, don’t. Don’t tell me. I know what he’s capable of.”
He didn’t like the way she was looking at him, like she was comparing him in some way to that goddamned monster. And Jake knew too that on several levels he and Rafe had more in common than he’d ever wanted to think about.
There wasn’t much separating either of them from the blade’s edge. “Are you sure you never told anyone what you just told me? The FBI, the CIA …?”
She shook her head. “No. I never told them. What did it matter?”
It did matter—it explained why Rafe hadn’t taken her sooner than he did. If Rafe was sleeping with her, if he’d developed feelings for her, it made sense he’d put his kidnapping plans on hold. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened to her if Rafe hadn’t fallen in love with her.
“How long were you sleeping with him?” he asked.
“You don’t have any right to ask that. You don’t have any rights at all with me.”
He held up his hands, a silent surrender to her wishes.
“I need to get out of here. I want to go to my uncle’s. I want to hear all of this from him. I can’t be here with you anymore—can you understand that?”
“I’ll take you.”
“I’ll get a cab.”
“No. You’re still my responsibility. I’ll take you to Cal’s and he can decide what he needs me to do. Go get dressed.”
She didn’t argue with him.
Clut
ch lost consciousness again for a few minutes after he’d sent Sarah to go after Rafe. He came to with a start, head pounding, body sweating on the still warm tarmac. His vision blurred and he yanked at his wrists, bound behind him with a thick rope. The knots were tough, though not impossible, but he’d already lost time and Sarah …
Sarah was the reason he wasn’t dead right now.
He heard more shots ring out overhead and worked furiously on the ropes that bound him, successfully freeing his hands. As he picked apart on the thick knots strung around his ankles, he wondered how many more men they’d send to find him. They had so many ways to torture him …
That didn’t matter now. As the ropes fell away and his feet pounded the tarmac in steady rhythm to the pounding in his skull, the only thing that mattered was saving Sarah.
Rafe was getting onto the lone jet that was fueled up and ready to take off, despite the lack of lights on the runway—he turned in time to see Sarah coming up the tarmac after him, had his gun pointed at her within seconds.
He was still much faster than she was—a better shot. In the darkness, backlit from the plane’s interior, he looked harder, more predatory.
“Are you here for your money?” he called out.
“You betrayed me,” she yelled back.
“Remember what I told you, Sarah. Our kind are different—we don’t play on the same moral ground.”
I want everyone in that family to hurt, Sarah. I want them to hurt the way I hurt—I know you can understand that.
“You lied to me.”
If you could get revenge on the people who hurt your family, you’d do it. I know you would.
God, she would, if it meant her family could survive. Anyone who thought differently was a liar and a coward.
And still, the guilt seeped through, the first time in a long time she’d actually felt that emotion. It was real—it was right.
“There’s room here for you.” He held out his free hand toward her. “Holster your weapon and come with me. There’s no one else you can trust. I understand you.”
Hard to Hold Page 22
